Do you think based on these (soon to be) 5 posts, he was being dishonest on our second date (part 3)?

[VIVANT]

1 No. I just find “liking” anyone in any kind of a way other than friendship to be

Extremely stressful. I’m not good at it. it’s probably a terrible idea for us to do anything bc we did actually get along before. ALSO I’m not being coy. 🤨 I know often if someone says something negative it’s taken as coy and I’m being serious I honestly dk if this is a good idea. I’m also serious when I say I move SLOW and I don’t mean sex I just mean anything as far as getting to know each other….

☝🏼 …But that does bring me to my other concern before you interrupted me…

All I know about sex is I’m not ready for it and as far as WHEN I will be or if I will EVER be I have NO idea…

…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect.

I know sex is a big deal to most people and I don’t judge I just really dk if it’s gonna matter to me.

(So he def looked more surprised here -& maybe concerned not sure-than he did when I said “it takes me a long time to talk” & he kind of paused…then asked)

2 Sooo is that like you HATE it orrrr you just never found out? 👀

1 🤔 Fair question I suppose but it doesn’t really impact the fact I’m not in any rush. Anyhow the latter.

(He looked a bit more relaxed which honestly bothered me but on the other hand, I am the one who brought it up so I can’t fault him for reacting and we are not in a Disney cartoon so I can’t expect him to not care about sex)

(Getting over my discomfort bc it was all fair his reaction, but I guess I did not know what to say)

1 I do know I do not want to date someone who’s is having sex with other people 🤢

(He looked kind of feeling accused)

1. Oh lol no ! I don’t necessarily think that’s what you’re saying. I’m only raising it bc I USED to think it was a GOOD solution a perfect one. Like I can date whomever and never have to worry about sex! And now I don’t think it’s such a good idea.👀

CONTINUED*

Internet pic

Yes

No

I don't know

Yes & No

Other

Updates

1 y

(CONTINUED FROM POST UPDATE #4, I ran out of room)

…You seem fairly casual so I don’t see why you felt the need to mention it. I wouldn’t have even been concerned about any of this 🤦🏻‍♀️



2 Well honestly they are relatively young so they have time🙂 And while I really mean it, I also do not believe in forcing things… So I am hopeful but careful 🙂

1OK

Ok

2

2 👀…So… what now 



1 I don't know 

👀

(Quiet a long time)


2 Ready to go home? I will walk you. You are welcome to stay👇🏻

Updates

1 y

but it’s a bit late. I know you get up early af.

He walked me 🏡 (I was quiet on way back)

2 😁 OK no kiss but Can I hug you?

1 hmm OK. maybe. ok NO.

2 Are you sure?

1 I think so? I don't know. nvm. Well, Uhh —maybe next time. Sorry not feeling it atm😬

2 It’s OK😌

(He buttoned top of my coat a bit weird 👀 I guess it’s something to do I don't know 🤣)

2 At your🌲 tomorrow?

1 Yea 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 See you on my way to work. You can tell me If & when you want to meet up. Yeah?

We said GN 🌚

[roxy_362]

I tried to read all the installments before coming to a conclusion. However, the impression I got initially did not change to the end. Based on the available information, I don't think there is any indication that he is being dishonest. I feel like he is trying to understand the boundaries of your relationship, and not do something wrong until he feels he has things figured out.

By the way, you mentioned five parts, but I could only see the first three. Did I miss the last two, or have you not posted them yet? After reading the last two, I may discuss them with you in PM.

[VIVANT]

I couldn’t post them all at once 😊 I was waiting for other posts to clear 24 hours first.

Thank you for your input 🙏🏼😊

[RealMarek]

I read the whole story and see no evidence that he was being dishonest. Did his body language seem off?

What seems off to me is someone having a “friends with benefits” while they are going on dates. I know people are different now than when I was young, but to me it would be a dealbreaker.

[VIVANT]

No he said he wouldn’t do that

It came up bc he was saying he wasn’t in a rush to date so it’s ok if I’m not ready and he explained he hadn’t dated during the entire time we knew each other

Son I was wondering if he hadn’t dated in two years was he not having sex

So he said yeah he was but friends with benefits & he’d definitely not do that if I say I want to date even if we’re not dating yet

[VIVANT]

I mean so whether it’s honest I can’t say but he wasn’t advocating dating while friends with benefits he was saying it’s a terrible idea

I was the one who said I used to think it was a good idea lol

[RealMarek]

Ah, I see. It sounds like he answered your questions straighforwardly.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't hear anything that makes me question his sincerity.

[VIVANT]

Thank you 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

"…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect."


OMG- you really said that? 😱🤣. I'm dead. ☠️☠️☠️


BRAVO, VIVANT! BRAVO!! 👏👏👏💪

[Jamie05rhs]

Who is "relatively young" and "has time"?
Who is he referring to?

[VIVANT]

😂 yeah I did it’s funny what comes out when you didn’t think about it 🙃

His grandparents are relatively young. He had said he was hoping he got married before they pass. It sounded like he was worried they were in the verge. 😬

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT I thought that was nice of him to ask for the hug. And also to wait for your response to his request for the hug. He won points with me for that.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, I saw that part about his grandparents earlier.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I would’ve accepted but I wanted to absorb stuff. I’d been really open with him so I needed to close up shop for while to recalibrate 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Makes sense. :)

[VIVANT]

🙂🙂

[TallAnon]

by the way, just upload the whole thing on something like pastebin next time 😂 Also, you seem to be overcomplicating things a lot, at this point he was probably just confused.

[VIVANT]

No I didn’t think he was confused the whole convo is pretty comprehensive I’m just having a hard time posting it 😂

[pizzalovershouse]

It sounds like something he is hiding like something in his past he thinks you would really hate

[VIVANT]

Possibly tho I can’t imagine what lol

[pizzalovershouse]

Must be some thing bad like having affair with a older female

[VIVANT]

Why is that bad? You mean like if she was married?

[pizzalovershouse]

That to married older female of 20yrs difference

[VIVANT]

I don’t think the she matters at all. And really if someone decides to cheat that’s on thrm not the person they are cheating with. I doubt he has a big host secret he’s prob just trying to sound impressive lol the convo was weird but it’s just one convo 😊

[pizzalovershouse]

😊👍

[Anonymous]

Dishonest about what? What I'm hearing is a guy taking you at your word. He can't be disappointed. At nothing.

[VIVANT]

I mostly put it this way bc I needed to put in question form and each post had to be a different question bc gag won’t allow repeats. Ultimately I just wanted whatever opinions to get an idea of how this appears to people that are not me. Thank you for commenting 😊

[Opinion Owner]

I get that. We don't all see things the same way. That's part of what makes dating interesting and difficult.
I had this single woman I knew for 2 years. She was always flirtatious with me. Would show me attention. Even once wanted me to drive her home because she had drank too much which ment I was was either taking her car home or staying the night at her place. But she appeared so interested in me while bringing other dates to functions that we both attended. After a while we stopped connecting. Now she had just gotten divorced from a bad marriage. In my opinion she was in no condition to be dating (emotionally). But I get it, she was doing this probably as a confidence builder, and if something came of it , cool. But that's the point. I didn't want to be her practice. And at no point did she give me a lasting opinion that she wanted me, and only me.
I guess I bring up this story because I would have dated her if she had shown solid interest. And I'm not smooth or anything but I would have done everything I could to make her happy. You know what maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe she was just looking for someone. And u was just looking for someone. So it would have been a relationship of convenience. Which I'm not saying can't turn into anything. But it doesn't start with deep feelings.
What I'm trying to say here is, I see nothing wrong with what he's said to you. He's been very respectful. In my mind that's at least something. I think you want all of what could be, on your timeline, but with no real commitment, at least not to a "romantic" type relationship.
My personal opinion is. You're eventually going to catch him with another girl. And that's not to say he's cheated. But there will come a point where he goes elsewhere.

[VIVANT]

It sounds like he is going elsewhere already. You know I forgot I was the one who asked him out. It’s odd considering I’m not ready

Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry you guys didn’t get a Chance to see how things go together you seem really super decent 😊

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks i appreciate that. But I don't regret it (maybe on some level). But at the time I don't think I thought enough of myself to be what she needed. And as I said. I don't think she was ready.

[VIVANT]

That makes a lot A LOT of sense to me. And I think your attitude is really healthy 😊😊

[Sevenpointfive]

he's having sex with someone or lying about it in a way that makes you believe he is

[Anonymous]

No...

[VIVANT]

Thanks 😊

[Anonymous]

he might have been