Polls: Dating

28F, only thing I know for certain is I have anxiety & my self esteem could be better. But, nothing too terrible that makes me incapable of finding a LTR. I’ve been on and off dating apps for years, I don’t get how they don’t work for me as it’s known women have it easier & people tell me I’m attractive (not just family/friends). I have to use the apps bc I never get approached in person, I get the matches but in the end it just doesn’t work out. The last time I saw someone I was 23 & that only lasted for a few months. It felt like settling & I’ve become even pickier now. I don’t really have that much of a sex drive but that isn’t something a guy can sense right off the bat so I don’t think that’s it. It’s like I wonder if I’m ready to date but ffs I’m almost 30 that’s odd if I’m not. I met up with someone for the first time in almost 2 years last week & I didn’t even stay for the whole time, I left after maybe 15 min bc I wasn’t feeling it (even though chatting went well on the app), I had a long day, wanted to leave before the drinks arrived since I didn’t want him to get charged & most of all I was worried he was gay (by his voice). I usually video chat before but moving fwd that’s non-negotiable. Oddly enough I still don’t think it’s my fault for being single this long, yes I’ve tried counseling/medication & it was a bust. Can an almost 30 yr old woman date while being anxious, insecure, reserved & close to being maybe on the asexual spectrum?

A long time ago when I used dating sites, I would receive introductory messages by men who would say something like, "I love your photo, tell me more about you," or just plain old, "Hi."

At first I chose not to reply to any of the men I had no interest in. But I would get many of them pestering me with, "I sent you a message. The least you can do is thank me for it instead of leaving me hanging."

So I considered this, and decided to give all men from that point the courtesy of a reply. My reply was, "Thank you for your message, but I don't believe we are compatible. Good luck with your search." Sometimes it was merely a "I received your message. Good luck with your search."

But then I was sent angry responses back such as, "What's your problem? / You don't even know me. / Yeah. No wonder you're single."

As you can tell, I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't.

Even though I'm out of the dating pool, this has often left me wondering how GaG members handled first-approach dating app messages? Do you believe you should send all who are interested a response of some sort? Or do you think you simply don't owe everyone a reply? What do you say or not say?