Are body counts important?

[wiltingrosepetal]

Does the amount of sexual partners a person has had impact their attractiveness? Does this number affect your willingness to date them? This can go both ways too- having several previous partners and having zero. I'm curious to see what people say 🙌

Yes

No

It depends

[JacobJordan]

I was a virgin until I met the woman I would marry. my wife was a virgin until she met the man she would marry. the important part for both of us was that the relationship was going to be permanent. it has been. as for the question. yes very much yes. I know people are going to be upset blah blah blah but the medical, biological and psychological effects of having a lot of sexual partners is well documented for both men and women. I could list the statistics but I won't I will instead list the possible and quite likely negative that both will likely experience. for girls at and beyond the 3rd most (not all cause exceptions exist) begin to experience issues with pair bonding (the ability to emotionally bond with a partner) the more partners the worse it gets. you drastically increase your likelihood of getting stds, stis and becoming entirely infertile. the odds of cheating and being unfaithful increase the more partners you have (both of these are prevalent in guys and girls). for ladies you can begin to have issues with your pelvic floor and vaginal walls resulting in difficulty getting wet. for guys the more partners you have you do also have a harder time pair bonding it does happen later than for girls but it does happen. likewise your risk of stds and stis increases dramatically. in addition you severely increase your risk of having erectile dysfunction at an earlier age as a result of being with many partners. in addition to all of that you can cause permanent damage to your penis especially if you change partners frequently.

[Lliam]

All I care about is that she is smart, has healthy self-respect, good values, and is choosy about who she sleeps with. That rules out girls who allow themselves to be used as a cum dump for any guy who wants to use her.

But I really don't care about body count. I never asked a girl what hers was and none ever asked mine. I assumed that normal people had sex before with boyfriends/girlfriends.

I never placed any value on "purity". Virginity isn't something you "lose" any more than you "lose" childhood once you pass the age of puberty. Sex is merely something that people engage in once they are old enough. It's normal for people who are post-pubescent.

None of my girlfriends nor my wife were virgins before we met.

I much prefer women with strong libidos who are heterosexual, sexually experienced, love sex and are good at it.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Huh, I thought older generations were more strict on purity. This is a very respectful response 😄

[YAsQuen]

they also didn't have half the giga hoes there are now

[Lliam]

@wiltingrosepetal. I entered high school in the fall of 1969, right around the time Woodstock was held. I was a surfer, a guitarist, and an admirer of hippie culture.
I experimented with drugs, supported the civil rights movement and women's lib.
I became lead guitarist and vocalist in rock bands.
I got my first car as soon as I turned 16. I also got my first girlfriend. She was younger than I but had been in one, short-lived relationship before we met, so she wasn't a virgin. She also had a pregnancy scare from that relationship so was on the pill.
The pill had only been legalized five years earlier and lots of girls were taking it because it was part of women's lib and the sexual revolution. Yay!

Think of psychedelic music and the prog-rock and rock bands that came out in the late 1960s and '70s.

By age 18, I looked like guys like this:


My parent's generation was traditional. They came of age during WWII. But I was way wilder than most kids now days. It was a great time to be alive.

I just thought I'd give you a snap show of what my generation was like. LOL

This is what your grandmothers looked like back then LOL:

[wiltingrosepetal]

Would've loved to experience that era 😅 I find that the 70s-90s are idolised nowadays, people still consider them to be the best decades. Before cancel culture, progressivism, when you could watch Star Wars in the cinemas without feeling extremely pandered to, or see a Queen concert. Crazy you got to experience all of that!

[YAsQuen]

hello machine 03

[Jersey2]

The women then were almost all slim and in shape because the food sucked and people walked a lot more. They were also traditional women who had a great time in life but also raised a family… now I think all of that has changed to fat chicks with screeching attitudes who couldn’t be bothered to walk anywhere and certainly won’t raise a family because somehow they look down in their primary biological function in society.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, wiltingrosepetal. :-)

[JetplaneJane]

Personally, it depends on context. At my age I question low counts more than high ones, because people that I relate to usually have at least a couple partners in their history. I'll wonder why nobody else has gotten with them. Still not a deal breaker if I feel like there's a good reason, though.

High counts don't bother me if I think the reasoning isn't concerning. If they're healthy and capable of holding a good relationship but they had a hoe-phase, that's totally fine. If their count comes from being incapable of maintaining a relationship and quickly entering the next partnership, red flag.

[DizzyDesii]

To me, yes. More than a handful (5+) is too many in my opinion. I find double/triple digits to be an absolute turnoff. You can gain experience through practicing/learning/teaching with the same person or same few people. Its rare to find “attractive” virgins (by choice) or attractive men “who don’t mess around with hookup culture” but they exist and those are the few I prefer

[DizzyDesii]

And even if it is a low count, it depends on how he went about it. They need to have been sex in relationships and not some one night stand or stripper/prostitute. I wouldn't ask a guy for details like this but some are silly enough to put that out there that they lost their virginity in such a desperate attempt and that is a turnoff to me

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think much about a man’s sexual past to be honest.

[Billlewis]

Most of us don't have much of a sexual past... lol

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Yes and no. The actual count shouldn't matter however social media and the "manosphere" have painted it into a rating game.

The truth is the actual number shouldn't matter. What matters is the behaviors that is being shown surrounding that count.

As an example if someone slept with say 50 guys. But she was completely honest with them all, no sneaky links or hidden one night stands. Then the count means nothing.

If however if even 1 of those was a sneak link, affair or she was a willing partner to someone else's affair then I would NEVER consider her as a dating much less a relationship option. If she is able to rationalize lying, cheating and being part of such a relationship then we have a fundamental difference that will prevent me from even considering pair bonding with them. That is not a risk I wish to take.

[SixFootSexy]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TRUkMRs_jx8

Your twenties lay the foundation for the rest of your life. If you build a house on a weak foundation it will crumble. Educate yourself, work hard, build character and hit the gym. You determine what life is “supposed to be.”

Body count is just one of those things. Do you want a family? Or go from hookup to hookup and hope you can "stick the landing" before you turn into an old cat lady?

Think about these things now, while you still have your options as a woman. Not after you turn 30 and the clock is running out.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I'm afraid my life's ambition is to be a cat lady 😔
But I'm fairly aware of how body counts affect my perception and the rest of my life, that's why I've been very slow with my current boyfriend 😄👍

[Holsen]

Depends on personal preferences as some girls might feel more secure witha male who has had many partners as he has too much experience and other girls would feel like that makes him less reliable and too playful;when it comes to men, unless she is a super hot babe, they would feel a bit hesitant about dating a girl who has had many relationships;while a girl who had had no relationships would be seen as more favourable as men like their girls to be “pure” as for the irony of it 😂 but anyway that’s what it is!!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

For men, they think body count matters because women get “loose” when they’ve had “too many” hook-ups. This is not only horribly incorrect, it shows just how poorly educated men are on women’s bodies and furthers the toxic double standards of purity culture. You can even see it in the results that the male majority thinks it matters when they don’t realize women can get tight again. Hell, hymens grow back! The only time a vagina becomes permanently “loose” is after birth and that’s if the woman’s lucky enough not to get a husband stitch against her will. That shit can ruin sex for women completely and make it way too painful to even bother. Body count only matters to the men that have things to compensate for in a relationship so they need someone inexperienced who won’t notice their flaws.

[aceleon]

i couldn't give a less fuck for how tight the girl's snatch is, if she doesn't want to feel like she is giving birth everytime we have sex she better get wider as we have sex but i'm neither letting someone elses used goods into my life or getting intimate with anyones sloopy seconds, no sorry not sorry but if i'm not letting my girl get fucked by another guy in the future or present (which i'm not) then i don't put up with her doing that in the past, end of the story.

[abc3643]

Of course, it does.

Suppose your partner has fucked 3 dozen people in the past.
Ask yourself this: "What is my probability that I will be The One and that they won't fuck anybody else anymore?"

We all know what the answer is...

Don't ever forget this:

[wiltingrosepetal]

That donut meme doesn't apply to women's bodies- they don't stretch out unless they've given birth 😃

[mandyfire98]

That meme is not how vaginas work at all 😂😂

[abc3643]

@mandyfire98 Seems pretty accurate to me.

[mandyfire98]

You need to study female anatomy lol. It's not accurate at all. Did you not take sex education or pay attention in class? Or better yet... Google them shits from a medical website. Don't be lazy do the research and don't just assume.

[mandyfire98]

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325890

[abc3643]

All I have to do is go to any gynecologist website which discusses the causes of vaginal laxity...

So, let's do that...

Oh, here's one! The (vaginal) Rejuvenation Clinic Of Savannah.
www.rejuvenationclinicmd.com/.../
=========

The Problem Next Door: Vaginal Laxity
Do you experience looseness of the vagina? This is known as vaginal laxity. This is very common - about 75% of women suffer. Unfortunately, vaginal laxity affects function, lifestyle and quality of life. However, there has been a stigma associated with discussing any of these types of issues with medical providers. But more and more women are bringing vaginal laxity out of the shadows to regain their optimal vaginal health.

The Many Faces Of Vaginal Laxity
In general, there are 8 main causes of vaginal laxity. Becuase every woman is unique, her causes will be unique as well. Among these, you may have experienced the following yourself.

Are you…
* Menopausal (peri, active or post)?

Have you experienced…
* Multiple vaginal childbirths?
* Poor repairs from those deliveries?
* A history of prolonged sexual activity?
* Multiple sexual partners?
* Sexual trauma?

Or do you have...
* Certain medical conditions?
* A possible genetic disposition to vaginal laxity?

============

HOWEVER, you wrote this:

"Don't be lazy do the research and don't just assume."

Thanks! God, I love when people say that! (I am NOT being sarcastic.) I say it all the time... "Do your due diligence!"

So, kudos to you!

[wiltingrosepetal]

@abc3643 I'm glad prople are doing their own research on vaginal laxity, because yes it affects a majority of women. Thank you for encouraging me to do my own research too, so I can debunk what you've said.
Going through several different websites, the only causes they name for laxity are menopause, aging and childbirth. That's all. This is due to callogen production- each of these wrinkle, age and loosen skin, making the vagina looser.
Here are some of the websites I've found that only include those causes:

-Vaginal laxity: one of the most common health issues (coyleinstitute)
-Vaginal laxity- cause and treatment (specialist clinics of Australia)

Also, after researching callogen, I started to wonder how sex played a part in this. That's when I landed on this article:
PSA: Sex is actually really, really good for your skin (Wellnest)

Which said:

'SEX CAN BOOST COLLAGEN PRODUCTION

Collagen is a protein that acts as the building block of skin. As we age, collagen levels decrease, but our levels can also be negatively affected by stress. Studies have confirmed that stress impacts the skin’s collagen by releasing cortisol, which breaks collagen down.'

Having a lot of sex actually makes the vagina tighter, as I've found. It's the correlational factors of age and childbirth that people seem to mistake this cause for.

So, instead of spreading around your donut memes and incorrect data, ask yourself: have you slept with an older woman, someone post menopausal or a woman who has given birth? Those'll be the reasons.
@mandyfire98 thanks for encouraging people to do research 👍

[mandyfire98]

Uh oh looks like more research that goes against @abc3643

Interesting how that works. Also the link i posted earlier is also from a doctor. So where we at now? Most women have prolonged sexual activity. It's called being in a relationship where sex happens on a daily basis? So you are telling me that a woman who has a lot of sex in a relationship, which is prolonged sexual activity, doesn't have a loose vagina? But a woman who has just as much sex not in a relationship somehow will be loose? Make that make sense to me.

www.annandaleobgyn.com/.../

Here's an obgyn explaining that if a woman's vagina does lose elasticity it's normally with age and sometimes during childbirth, not sex. She even says that through intercourse its a myth.

By the way, there are kegels that can keep the vagina tight that can be done on a daily basis and are easy to do. So you can dislike the idea of women sleeping with people outside of a relationship but the loose vagina myth is not gonna cut it in reality.

The loose vagina from sex is a myth that was started to shame women so they wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship.

[abc3643]

Before, I listed one gynecology center discussing the causes of vaginal laxity. Most of them are the same. Here's another:
coyleinstitute.com/.../
Cause of Vaginal Laxity
Vaginal laxity occurs when the vaginal tissues stretch during vaginal deliveries or in relation to aging and lead to a significant loss of lubrication in the vaginal area as well as the inability to experience orgasm and a decrease in sensitivity during sexual intercourse. Other common causes include
>>>>>>>> a high rate of sexual activity <<<<<<<<<<,
vaginal trauma, genetic disorders, menopause, and multiple vaginal births.

====
>>> I could do this all day.

Meanwhile, "The loose vagina from sex is a myth that was started to shame women so they wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship."

I don't think so; men don't think like that. I am a feminist (yes, I am), but sometimes feminists have a problem with conspiracy theories - as if males have this yearly convention where we plot new and approved ways to shame or oppress women. Really, we don't think like that. We're not smart enough to do that.

(more)

[abc3643]

But, I will only state from MY data samples: The less sex and sexual partners she's had, the tighter she was. And, yes, vaginal childbirth was with some of those women... but not with the 23-year-old nymphomaniac.

Really, though, the immediate causes (*) of vaginal laxity are the same. It is just that things like vaginal childbirth, multiple partners, frequent sex, and aging all contribute to establishing these immediate causes.

(*) e. g.
Overstretching and/or weakening of the muscles and tendons within the vaginal canal.

Anyway, looser or not, vaginas are a fun thing to stick a boner in.
Some men will be uptight about body count because they want to be special to her and, if she has a high body count, he won't feel that way. This is why the bottom right donut was relevant. It's not so much vaginal laxity, but the man thinks "Why invest in a relationship if she doesn't seem to have any stable ones?" and "With all that history, I'm probably not going to be the biggest or the best."
A man wants to be the biggest fish in a small pond.

[LiamJHayden]

So a girls who's had sex a total of 500 times with a total of 15 average sized guys is going to be more "stretched" than one whose had sex 1000 times with a single partner who is as large as the laughable claims of the average guy on GAG? Somehow I doubt it.

[abc3643]

@LiamJHayden That's not what the gynecologists assert. It's mostly frequency although different sizes from different men will stretch things too.

Here's a good comparison.
Socks

Socks become loose over time. Even if your the only one putting your foot in the sock. However, if someone with a foot bigger than yours puts their foot in your sock, your sock my be stretched out more and become looser faster than if its just your foot going in the sock.

[glennos89]

For me it does. I'm keeping mine as low as possible as well. I think it's very unattractive if a woman gives her love the anyone and everyone.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I like that you acknowledged it goes both ways. Because while in general women are shamed more for their high counts, most of us wouldn't want to date someone with a high number either. Sex should be an intimate, emotional experience, so when someone's had a lot of it with a lot of partners, you have to imagine some of that interpersonal connection is lost

[lightbulb27]

yes, depends. what matters is what a person learns, what values they hold, and how they have grown. Better off keeping it to 1, but some learn the hard way or are different.

how they got there... might be of interest. What traumas they are living out of.

Their current emotional state is highly important. People don't change unless they want to... and many don't want to. If you take on someone elses emotional baggage, you'll be in for an education.

[Anonymous]

Body counts and the number of sexual partners a person has had are subjective and can vary greatly from person to person. What's important in a relationship is open and honest communication about your values and expectations. Some people may be more concerned about a partner's sexual history, while others may not consider it a significant factor in attractiveness or their willingness to date someone. Ultimately, it's about finding a partner who aligns with your values and preferences.

[Miristheiss]

Here is the truth. Everyone is different so these are not absolutes but overall, on the grand scale, in general.

Most men will care about a woman's sexual past. (if he is considering her for a long term girlfriend or wife).

Most women do not care about a guys past.

Men and women are different. Women care about other things.

[aceleon]

yes, i wish they stopped comparing themselves with us, mans do care about physical things more while woman cares about emotional ones more, as simple as that.

[NoNameGuy123]

It matters.

I would not want to be in a serious relationship with a girl that has 50 bodies at 20 years old.

But she doesn't have to be a virgin.

The best I can explain it is exclusivity. I don't want to be with someone who everyone has already experienced.

[aceleon]

absolutly, i don't date but if i ever had the intention i would want a virgin, i'm not accepting someone elses used goods into my mind, my heart or my life, oh i'm also not putting my mouth anywhere near to a place where another guy put his junk inside. most i can tolerate is a bi girl who only slept with womans and even then there is no point in having too many body counts.

[Altheavas]

I see a lot of Insecure men in here. Welp..! I rather my man to have some experience out there. Then I know once he choose to settle down, he can’t be phase by others trying to get his attention.


It doesn’t matter to me, for both gender (male or female). I’m STRAIGHT.

[JesseP1nk]

So man says high body count is an issue for them, then they are insecure. Women also here says high bodycount is an issue , then you dont say anything to them. You dont call them insecure. interesting...

[Altheavas]

Re-read my comment again and I included both gender. I even share my personal perceptive according to my preference.

[JesseP1nk]

"I see a lot of Insecure men in here."

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. Because I'm looking for a wife. So I want someone who has a mindset and experience with saying No. I want someone with self control. I don't want someone who might cheat on me just because she develops feelings for another guy. I want someone who will be able to recognize the danger and take the appropriate steps to back away and draw clear boundaries. If she's opening her legs to any hot guy who shows interest in her, she won't have the established skill set to do that.

[Joshydavid25]

Yes they are.. But only because it affects pair bonding for both men and women.. Healthy people don't have high body counts, men or women.. Sure men can be called studs for being able to get with a lot of women, but that just means they know how to play the game..

[msc545]

I think all the people in here, particularly the men talking about marriage have not experienced the joys of that lovely institution. And I say this in sincere sarcasm. Once you've been through the joys of alimony and child support and not being able to see your children and being trashed and family law court and all the discrimination has a man you will wish to god You had never done this.

[LazerBean]

Yes, it does. And it's funny that all the men who say women get mad that the answer is yes for women only are the same men who getad when you show them statistics that say it's also true for men.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

For women no is general but yes it matters for men
And men have two zones just like girls have friends zones
Commitment zones where they commit for marriage (for this yes high bodycount will eliminate you)
Sex zones in this guys only want sex n hookup from girls (doesn't matter because guys in general prefer hoes or girls they know who doesn't want relationship or avoidable like someone girlfriend/wife/slut where guys know it's only about sex )

[Anemone978]

I always ask a guy about their body count right away.. So I can write them off if I don't like the number LOL
No wasting time with losers anymore.. if it is more than 10 I don't want him.. under 10 is more preferable..

[Jbear27]

I would rather not know. I don’t want to think of my girlfriend as having been plowed through by 50+ guys. I don’t sleep around so my body count is relatively low for my age and my status. I want a woman that is as untouched as possible.