Can you recommend a good self-help book?

Question

I wanna read your suggestions and I wanna read about everything! Confidence, relationships, money... you name it.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Accepted Answer

Hmm, been a little while since I immersed myself in purely self-help books, but one I'm reading at the moment is Becoming Bulletproof. It's written by a secret service agent, she's a pretty badass Greek woman, which gives a different flavour in a genre of non-fiction usually dominated by muscled-up military men. Pretty interesting approach grounded in practical applications from her experience protecting former presidents and other high profile figures. The main takeaway so far seems to be getting your Fight/Flight/Freeze responses under control and practising situational awareness to take control in a crisis and keep yourself safe. It abstracts this idea out to more everyday applications like spotting liars, navigating corporate negotiations, keeping emotions in check, etc.

I'm also partway through reading (but temporarily shelved while I attend to other books) 'Beyond Order' by Jordan Peterson. That book is interesting in part because of the circumstances it was written in, the guy was practically on death's door at one point because the withdrawal from prescription antidepressants was so extreme that Western doctors basically refused to even bother trying, so he sought treatment in a Russian specialist hospital, and wrote this book in the brief periods where he was cogent enough to physically write the words down. Consequently it has a bit of a "long night of the soul" feel to its contents --which, if read devoid of this context, would probably fall into a somewhat conservative (but still insightful) take on "how we ought to be", with the author's characteristic emphasis on Jungian ideas with a bit of anti-authoritarian overtones for good measure. Unfortunately the author's name is so tied up with American 'culture wars' that certain people just assume you're a mysogonistic transphobe for reading his works. But don't buy the negative spin, I don't agree with all his ideas, but his writings are always thought-provoking (if at times a little long-winded), and his interest is very much in raising up the individual in a time when we're increasingly told to put the collective above our own autonomy. Plus I saw him do a talk in Manchester just last week (London was sold out) and I came away with a bunch of notes. His first book 12 Rules for Life may be a better jumping off point, but Beyond Order is like the complimentary 'shadow volume' to that more widely circulated text, it really gets into the weeds on some pretty hefty psychological and borderline philosophical concepts. I don't consider him a 'philosopher' per se, but Beyond Order continues his effort to integrate the works of great psychologists and philosophers along with his own experiences as a psychotherapist (and more recently, as a reluctant de facto figurehead of the "anti-woke" intellectuals, which no doubt makes the book divisive in today's starkly divided political landscape).

Besides those two books, probably the other most recent self help read that comes to mind isn't really a self help book at all; it's a book about negotiation skills, first and foremost, but what it's REALLY about is knowing the value you bring to the table, and having the mental fortitude to not undersell that value, while also having the emotional intelligence to put your counterparts at ease so they don't feel offended when you turn down lowball offers and lose-lose compromises. The book is called Start With No by Jim Camp, and the late author was kind of a "wizard behind the curtain" of numerous billion dollar corporate negotiations. He developed a system of negotiation that flew in the face of academia of his time, as the likes of Harvard University were peddling this weak "win-win" nonsense that stipulates making a lot of compromises that only serve to weaken your negotiating position in the ostensible name of "getting the yes". Camp's basic thesis is that your goal shouldn't be to get to "yes", since people instinctively run when they feel you "pushing" for their agreement. Instead, he posits that the goal is to forthrightly address all the undefined, unseen reasons why your counterpart might be inclined to say "no", and to address them head-on without trickery or manipulation. It's essentially a systems-based approach to keep you on the straight and narrow throughout a negotiation, painting a picture of your counterparts legitimate needs and desires, while also building a picture of your own uncompromised value in relation to those needs.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I don't know of any I guess I could have looked it up online or something but just remember whatever book that you find and that you've read it's just like any kind of self-help anything take it with a grain of salt take in what you want and let the rest go but as you're doing this as you're reading it you are your own self because you know everything that you need you know everything that you desire you know everything that you do good or bad and since you know that you have to kind of challenge yourself make the right choice that's what it's all about is your choices we get to choose we want to be in life by the things we say and do we already know good from bad wrong from right we just have to make the right choices I mean I could tell you a lot of things that would might open your eyes to looking at something different so you could make better choices but who am I I'm in the same boat that you're in no matter what it is that I know it doesn't even matter it's not enough there's always another experience there's always another level that's what makes us become better and better we have to experience it to understand it so if you think you're failing sometimes believe me failure is your friend failure is what teaches you to become a better person cuz you never fail there's no such thing

belle_kai · Accepted Answer

The feeling good handbook  The road less travelled by Scott peck Who moved my cheese by Spencer Johnson

collie22 · Accepted Answer

Yeah i can my faves the KJ Bible that book has helped me so much and my therapy

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Don't have a book but have this song which might help hehe

When someone hurts your feelings and lower your self esteem, sing this song to make him know that he ain't worth it and that your happy and proud being yourself...

https://fb.watch/fwBED4G8vd/

Havthrills · Answer

Hmm. Lord of the Rings was good. Not Lord of the Cock Rings. That was OK. The sword fights were hilarious. The tiny swords trying to get the ring on them.

The Notebook. Was just blank with metal ring binder.

50 Shades of Graying People will put you to sleep. Same with the original. Nothing new in it and Dorian was a softie.

Maybe Hustler or Playboy/Playgirl? Still boring though. a lot of photoshop in them.

EaterPeter · Answer

Gottmans - Relationship cures  Dale carnegie - How to win friends and influence people.  Robert cialdini - persuasion?

SiberFox · Answer

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. What's better than a series of personnal writtings by a Roman Emperor in order for him to stay true to himself so that he could better the empire.

Anonymous · Answer

More so directed at men, but I read Corey Wayne's book after finding him online. Got broken up with too many times for very similar reasons and his advice on relationships and what it means to be a man helped me in so many ways

roy_ricky09 · Answer

Check this out. IG ardentbiblio_roy for books

Kichbazp_ · Answer

@itsalyssaagain You are almost nude in your profile Pic 😛🤣

MAssAffecting777 · Answer

Never used one! What are your biggest problems? have you ever just talked to someone?

Headstrongcrazylover · Answer

I am waiting for answers.

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