Treat women like a friend and they’ll want to date u, treat women like u want to date them and they won’t want u?

Why is it like if I try to flirt with women or act interested in them romantically I get rejected but if I act like I want to be their friend and nothing more suddenly they are romantically interested in me. And alternately why is it that lesbians don’t have this issue they can just flirt away with girls and it will work out with them?
Treat women like a friend and they’ll want to date u, treat women like u want to date them and they won’t want u?
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