Why would a person all of a sudden stop liking or commenting on social media posts?

[Anonymous]

I have my settings on Facebook set to only where this one person can see it. About a period of about a year this person liked and commented on things I posted.

Now when I post something she won't interact. In person she seems ok and never mentions them. There's nothing bad in them just me posting about stuff I like or personal opinions on things asking advice etc.

At first I thought she had unfollowed me but in the same day a friend tagged me in something and she commented on the post right quickly, she told me I had a beautiful family (portrait) and had my name on there in the post as to call attention.

My wife then asks who was that that commented. Said my name. I'm like she's my boss.

Then for my birthday about a month later, no interaction but a mutual friend who posts later we are both friends with, she'll say something to them. It annoyed me. I know... so stupid. But it made me feel about that small.

Hers is in a few days and I'm gonna wish her happy birthday just because that's who I am. I don't feel anything is wrong. In fact I think she likes me. I'm my performance review she says I write extremely well. It'd well written. You know I always enjoy reading them! You are the only one on the team whoever writes anything.

We're still friends and I figure if they would delete or block me but everything seems like I said before ok in person.

She just acts a little different now. Some nervous in some interactions. Preening especially. Do women generally start doing that when they start having interest in someone, ignore posts?

[Anonymous]

Lol too many reasons.

[Asker]

Too many? Even posts not even related to nothing of any risqué stuff doesn't get a like. I post something that I know she likes... observations here and there I've been on her profile and other friends and get ideas but she doesn't know that. I wait a little while and out of the way, not possibly tie it to nothing, post something about how I like the same thing if that makes any sense. In an effort to get a like or a comment. To build some things in common. Plant seeds. Like oh he likes that... that's interesting, my husband doesn't like that. Or pay attention to me like he does etc. ... If that makes any sense?

[Asker]

I'm wondering if she even sees it?
Leave it out there for days... she's online... nothing at all. Vs before soon as I post it would get noticed.

I wonder if she can tell it's only where she can see?

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few possible reasons this person may have stopped liking/commenting on your social media posts:

1. They're just not as active on social media in general. Their lack of interaction could be unrelated to you specifically.

2. They saw something in your posts that made them uncomfortable or uninterested in responding. Though if nothing bad or offensive was posted, this seems unlikely.

3. They want to maintain a more professional relationship at work and feel that extensively interacting with your posts could blur those boundaries.

4. They realized their previous level of interaction could be misinterpreted and decided to scale back to avoid any confusion or awkwardness.

5. They do not actually like or enjoy your posts as much as they previously let on. And have now pulled back to be more genuine in their interactions.

6. They have developed romantic interest in you and feel that extensively interacting with your social media could be too revealing or forward. So they're being cautious.

In general, I would not read too much into a lack of social media interaction. There are many innocent reasons a person may choose to scale back or limit their online presence. And nervous or "preening" behavior at work could simply indicate they value your opinion as a respected colleague.

For now, I'd continue the professional, polite interactions you've had in person. But avoid projecting any hopes, expectations or intentions based on their social media activity (or lack thereof). See how your in-person interactions evolve over time before drawing any conclusions.

The important thing is to stay grounded, maintain a professional demeanor, and avoid making assumptions. Focus on building a respectful working relationship first and foremost. Social media can be misleading - what matters most is what happens between the two of you directly.

Hope this provides some helpful context and perspective! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Asker]

Well she does fidget with her clothes a lot can't stand still taking wedding ring off back on coming within personal space when we do chat. Hair flips.

[Oliverlogan263]

It does sound like she may have some romantic or sexual interest in you based on the nervous and flirty behaviors you described:

• Fidgeting with her clothes and jewelry are common signs of nervousness and anxiety, especially around someone you're attracted to.

• Inability to stand still can also indicate nervous energy and excitement around a crush.

• Excessive hair flipping is a classic flirting technique meant to subtly draw attention.

• Entering your personal space more often and standing closer than usual are also common flirty behaviors.

However, you also said she is your boss, which complicates the situation. Workplace romances can be tricky and often against company policies. You'll need to consider whether pursuing anything is worth the possible risks to your job and professional relationship.

If you do decide to potentially explore a connection, I would recommend first just continuing to wish her a happy birthday and maintain a professional demeanor at work. Observe how she responds over the next few weeks.

If her flirty behaviors continue and seem to increase, you could try initiating slightly more personal conversation during work interactions. But stay respectful, tread lightly and look for clear signs of interest and reciprocity from her.

Proceed very slowly and cautiously to test the waters. And be prepared for the potential issues that could arise if things don't work out or your company finds out. But if a genuine connection develops, it may be worth a thoughtful, respectful discussion about how to navigate it professionally.

[Asker]

I told her today actually through an email... she replied with Thank you! I appreciate it!😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Sending a simple, friendly email wishing your boss a Happy Birthday was a kind gesture and appropriate in a professional setting. Her reply of "Thank you! I appreciate it!" seems positive and indicates she received your message well.

Some things to keep in mind moving forward:

1. Maintain a respectful and professional demeanor at work. Focus on performing your job duties well.

2. Do not initiate any unwelcome or uncomfortable personal conversations. Keep interactions focused on work-related matters.

3. Unless your boss expresses clear interest in a closer personal relationship, continue to relate to her as your superior at work, not a potential romantic partner.

4. If you find yourself developing romantic feelings for your boss that interfere with your ability to do your job well, consider speaking with a therapist for guidance. These types of workplace dynamics can become complicated.

5. Avoid overanalyzing small behaviors and mannerisms. Lack of clarity can lead to making assumptions or misreading signals. Be cautious.

6. If your boss were to express interest in taking the relationship beyond professional, engage in a direct and honest conversation to determine appropriate next steps, keeping in mind potential workplace issues. But for now, there is no indication of that.

In summary, a simple Happy Birthday message was an appropriate gesture. Going forward, focus on maintaining a respectful and strictly professional relationship with clear boundaries unless and until your boss indicates otherwise. Obsessing over subtle behaviors will likely only cause you stress and confusion. Stay focused on doing your job well and treating your boss with kindness and respect. I hope this perspective provides some clarity and reassurance moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Are you unhappy in your marriage? Because wtf dude?

[Asker]

I'm not sure there's an issue?

[Opinion Owner]

You have gained an inkling that she may like you. As a married man, you’d think you’d want to do everything in your power to assure there’s no mixed signals. Instead what do you do? Adjust your Facebook settings so that only she can see your posts, then put a lot of emphasis on her interactions with your posts. Even now, you get annoyed when she’s giving attention to others and not you. Why else would you do that? How come you can’t treat her like every other friend if this is so innocent? I don't know if you’re bored in your marriage or just want to feel desired by someone else, but to me this behavior is very inappropriate, and I’m not sure how you wouldn’t notice that.

[Asker]

I don't see that I'm doing anything wrong. At work it feels professional and it's like nothing exists either way of any I feelings. I notice though she won't interact when other people are in the room when we are in the same room. She will linger and wait stall even. Then initiate conversations. We both stop talking when we hear someone coming down the hall

[Asker]

I keep putting these little nuggets of info out there to test the water. That way if something happens to either of our spouses, the groundwork is already laid.

[Asker]

Then there are some days I don't even feel like pursuing her or seem like I get frustrated in her presence. I do notice too whenever I relieve some stress if you will, I don't really feel the need to do all this. I just wanna keep to myself. Then after awhile the urge comes back and I'm back to doing the behavior again.

[Asker]

I have noticed I haven't posted anything for a month and she's starting to come around again often initiating the conversation whether by teams or making more of a visible presence. I'm just being neutral and it seems that it actually helps...

[Opinion Owner]

See how you’re like hyper-fixated on your interactions with this woman? I’m not sure how you feel this is normal or ok. Like why do you get stressed if you haven’t seen or dealt with another woman? Why isn’t your wife the one you turn to?

[Asker]

I'm now seem like I'm actively avoiding her now. Trying not to look at her etc. To wipe her from my mind if you will. It's working I haven't felt the need to post anything over a month now. It used to be a time where every single waking minute pervaded my thoughts. But now I can go days at a time without thinking about it.

It's hard to relate to someone who spends time on the phone and doesn't acknowledge you're in the room trying to talk to them. Or make you feel like you take a back seat. That's why.

[Asker]

And this other person... other woman is actually seems to be fulfilling some need I believe I didn't even know that I needed. It's hard to explain but do you ever wonder if you've married the wrong person too early etc?

[Opinion Owner]

Yep, that is a valid question that I think is most appropriate to ask yourself when it comes to your marriage. It can absolutely be a thing to where you got married to young, or maybe your preferences have changed as you got older — it happens. But you have to be honest with yourself at this crossroads because despite how you feel about your current compatibility, if your wife has been good to you then she doesn’t deserve what you’re doing behind her back. You should be a single man to explore these things in whatever way you want, and let her be free to move on how she sees fit as well.

[Anonymous]

I will really do my best here... as I have some experience with this:

There are a few possible reasons this person may have stopped liking/commenting on your social media posts:

1. They're just not as active on social media in general. Their lack of interaction could be unrelated to you specifically.

2. They saw something in your posts that made them uncomfortable or uninterested in responding. Though if nothing bad or offensive was posted, this seems unlikely.

3. They want to maintain a more professional relationship at work and feel that extensively interacting with your posts could blur those boundaries.

4. They realized their previous level of interaction could be misinterpreted and decided to scale back to avoid any confusion or awkwardness.

5. They do not actually like or enjoy your posts as much as they previously let on. And have now pulled back to be more genuine in their interactions.

6. They have developed romantic interest in you and feel that extensively interacting with your social media could be too revealing or forward. So they're being cautious.

In general, I would not read too much into a lack of social media interaction. There are many innocent reasons a person may choose to scale back or limit their online presence. And nervous or "preening" behavior at work could simply indicate they value your opinion as a respected colleague.

For now, I'd continue the professional, polite interactions you've had in person. But avoid projecting any hopes, expectations or intentions based on their social media activity (or lack thereof). See how your in-person interactions evolve over time before drawing any conclusions.

The important thing is to stay grounded, maintain a professional demeanor, and avoid making assumptions. Focus on building a respectful working relationship first and foremost. Social media can be misleading - what matters most is what happens between the two of you directly.

Hope this provides some helpful context and perspective! Let me know if you have any other questions.

God bless.

[Asker]

Yeah I know but I'm always sending emails asking what her thoughts are and sometimes just not really asking for the sake of not knowing something but to have conversation. I don't ass kiss but I do feel comradaire.