Girls, Why is this woman so weird?

[Anonymous]

All body language points that she likes me but she doesn't respond to DMs even though she's the one who reached out first.

Okay. When we're in the group I'm the only one she touches, always stands near me, and always snugs into me when we get to a cramp space. She always smiles at me when I see her and talk to her, then she does that thing when she's walking away. She turns back, put her head down (like a slight bow) while looking at me, then smiles. Am I crazy for thinking she likes me like I like her?

But when I try to text her, she doesn't even put me in read. I try to play it cool. Like texting, some compliments. Like "Hey saw you in that pink shirt the other day. You looked amazing, pink looks great on you". I stopped trying to like, have a flirty banter on DMs. She knows I like her, I already asked her out once. She was tied up on something. It's not easy to ask her out due to our different schedule. So I only asked her when I know we're both free. Will try to ask her out again when I know that we'll be both available on the same day but this text thing is bothering me. She does one thing and then do another. HOT AND COLD. She's playing me, and I don't like it.

I really like her. She's a great gal but I don't like games, been there, done that. I guess I want to know if I should pursue and play her game or not.

Personally, I'm thinking she doesn't like me like that and I misread things, and I should just take my lose and move on.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really confusing situation with that girl. It sounds like she's definitely sending some mixed signals your way. The way she's acting around you in person, with all the touching and smiling and whatnot, definitely seems like she's into you. But then the total lack of response over text is super weird.

I can see why you're feeling so frustrated about it. The hot and cold behavior is just the worst. One minute she's all up in your personal space, the next she's ignoring your messages. That's gotta be really messing with your head.

Personally, I think you're probably right that she doesn't actually like you the way you like her. The lack of effort in responding to your texts is a pretty clear sign that she's not that invested, even if her body language says otherwise when you're together.

Some girls can just be really physically affectionate and flirty with their guy friends without it meaning anything romantic. She might just really enjoy your company and attention, but not want anything more. Which sucks, I know.

My advice would be to try to take a step back and not get too caught up in reading into every little thing she does. If she's not putting in the effort to actually have meaningful conversations and potentially go on dates, then she's probably not worth pursuing romantically.

I know it's hard, but try not to play her game. You deserve someone who's gonna be upfront and consistent about their feelings, you feel me? Don't settle for this back-and-forth BS.

If you feel like you can keep things platonic and just enjoy her company as a friend, then go for it. But if the mixed signals are really messing with you, it might be best to create some distance and move on. There are plenty of other girls out there who will appreciate you for the awesome dude you are.

Stay strong, bro. You got this.

[Asker]

Yeah well. In the 2 days since I posted this. She's definitely not one of those physically affectionate woman, I can tell you that. I have never seen her do those things on other guys even with her gay friends.

Heck, these past 2 days. She taps my back/shoulder when I come in to work (and she knows everyone there and I'm the only one she does that to) as if to let me know she's there. Then she initiates contact using our companies' internal communication. I haven't texted her since my last DM that she still had not replied to. BUT we keep talking using our companies' communication tool during work. Her spot is like 40-50 ft directly on mine and our table faces each other and when our eyes meet, she flashes me a big fat smile and give me like a 5 second stare. I can't help but give a smile back while looking at her beautiful smile.

And this one time yesterday, I was on break and she's on lunch. I sat directly into her and started talking to her. She's responding but then she suddenly called another friend over and started talking to her friend (another woman), like wth? It's like she doesn't want to talk to me at all. Then she initiated contact again using our company chat. ?

She has me hooked like a bluefin tuna and is releasing and reeling me in at the same time.

I'm not bad looking. She knows and I know that other woman finds me attractive (at work) but I already showed everyone that she's the only one I give special attention to. Dang I told her I'd only do some stuff because it's her asking, and only her (in front of everyone).

I don't and can't tell if she's just farming me for attention or not. Next week I'll tell her straight about what I want then decide base on her answer.

Well my aunties about to set me up with a girl (23), that they say is a sweetheart, can cook, and is very family oriented. Even has her family's blessing to meet with me. I saw her photos and she is hella cute. Definitely interested in meeting her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, it sounds like this situation with the girl at your work has gotten even more complicated over the past couple days. The way she's acting - the little back/shoulder taps, the prolonged eye contact and smiles, but then suddenly shifting her attention to someone else when you try to talk to her - that's some seriously mixed signals right there.

It's good that you're planning to be direct with her next week and lay out what you want. Honesty is usually the best policy in these kinds of situations. At least then you'll know where you stand, instead of just being jerked around.

But in the meantime, it's awesome that your aunties have set you up with another girl who sounds super promising. A cute, family-oriented sweetheart who can cook? That's like the full package, man. Definitely go for it and meet up with her - it could be a great opportunity to move on from this work situation and find someone who's genuinely interested in you.

Sometimes you just gotta let go of the ones who are playing games, you know? This other girl your aunties found could be way better for you in the long run. Pursue that, but still be upfront with the girl at work about what you want. If she's not willing to reciprocate, then it's her loss. You deserve someone who's gonna be all in, not someone who's just keeping you around for attention.

Good luck, dude! Excited for you to meet this new girl. Hopefully it works out way better than the situation you've been dealing with at work.

[Asad1ONE1]

Maybe she doesn’t want to appear desperate or she really is playing games or talking to someone else. Who knows.

[Asad1ONE1]

Or maybe a lot of women are narcissists that are only interested in receiving attention and not giving it, at least authentically. But then again, no one knows but her.

[Asker]

Yeah. Thanks for your opinion.

I'll just back off and move on.

[laraWM]

You could tell her how you feel and see how she would react

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice but I think I know how she will react.

She's not the first girl/woman that has done this to me. Guess I just like her too much, enough to have me reaching out. I have decided to just step back gracefully. Even if she does say she likes me like that I really don't like games.

I mean thinking back, she did say to me once in passing that she plays "games". She's 24, 7 years my junior. Shame I genuinely like her.

[laraWM]

I still think you should tell her 🙂. You never know how someone would react

[Asker]

Okay you're right. I should tell her but I think I'll give her a week of space then tell her how I feel/felt.

Thanks

[laraWM]

Good luck, let us know how it goes