Girls - are you less attracted to a guy that is not muscular?

[xBurningSilence]

I'm curious about what girls find attractive/unattractive in terms or muscle mass on a guy. I'm very skinny with little muscle mass and I have a lot of self consciousness, low self esteem, and low confidence because of this.

Are guy that are ripped with huge arms pecs and a six pack attractive or more attractive than guys with less muscle mass? Can skinny guys be as attractive, or make you head over heels?

I'm trying to start working out so I can feel better about myself and have more confidence but still curious what girls find to be most attractive.

Link pictures too if you have the time.

[Levin]

I'm skinny, and never had difficulty attracting women. A lot of it is determined by genetics. ie even if you work out for a year, if you still have an ectomorph body, many women will still reject you because you're not 'broad shouldered'. From my personal experience working out is a waste of time. It probably will get you more women. But it's a cost benefit thing. I don't see the point in pandering to women who generally don't consider your characteristics attractive, when there are just as many women who will like you for who you are. Paradoxically, in my view, the best success from women comes from not paying too much heed to their every ridiculous whim.

My focus is on exercising to be healthy.

Experiment, see what works for you. Just don't expect any panacea or have unrealistic expectations.

[xBurningSilence]

Thank you. Yeah I have broad shoulders I have a very german build as most of my genetics are german. I don't want to work out to get girls I want to work out for my own self confidence which I know is what many women are attracted to.

[Konnour]

It yells "double standard"

Many guys - me including prefer women to look a certain way, and this is the most important thing, even if otherwise she's a great person, I don't believe in "liking a person whoever she is"

And I don't really believe many women truly follow such thought either as good physique no doubt will help any guy to be more successful with the ladies, though luckily we are not even near that much pressured about the looks than girls are.

[Levin]

Well whatever. I don't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to women's weight. I've dated 'cuddlier' girls. Crucially, I don't expect women to change themselves for me. The only thing I take issue with is people being an unhealthy weight, ie obese or anorexic . I think that's reasonable. It's about balance. Looks are important, to a degree, but they're not the be all and end all. I also agree with the other guy to take up martial arts. It'll improve how you carry yourself to no end.

[kheserthorpe]

The big killers are being low self esteem and low self confidence.

The fastest cure is to take up boxing or muay thai where being lean is kind of a plus - you've got reach on people in your weight class. You'll stop thinking of yourself as 'weak' and instead think of yourself as 'rangy'. You're not skinny. It changed my mentality. I'm not skinny. Some other guys have more muscle then me, but most guys are just fat. I'm a f*cking rapier. Screw them.

As for girls, some girls like big muscles, some girls like lean guys. Bigger girls are more likely to prefer big guys because it makes them feel less fat, but thin girls are more divided in what they like. If you're lean, confident, and project that you're strong, a lot of women will consider it not just okay, but _ideal_.

[xBurningSilence]

Yeah that's why I want to work out is to gain self confidence

[kheserthorpe]

Working out helps. But doing a sport that involves being tough while at the same time rewarding the lean is good for rapidly changing your mindset. You probably walk around thinking big muscle heads are strong and tough, instead of thinking 'those guys are slow, lumbering, and can beat up ... a barbell'.

[xBurningSilence]

Haha yeah I don't want to be a meat head, I just want some good lean muscle definition. And I'm not a big sports person but thank you for the tip

[SarahCassidy]

I will have to agree with most of what has already been said. Women often fall in love with those who have an alpha-male atmoshpere over them (they just happen to be the buffed types) and are confident in themselves.

I myself fall in love with the attitude of the guy. If he's confident, funny and friendly, then I'm all in. I have spoken to other girls and they seem to find confidence as important as I do. It doesn't matter that much whether your normal, skinny or buff, but if you are the least bit strong then that's always a plus.

Actually I often get attracted to fairly skinny dudes. In fact I'm head over heels with someone skinny at the moment.

I would really advise you to work on your confidence, because that's what we look for in men.

[kheserthorpe]

Yeah. its the aura. Big muscles can say 'strong'. But they're not the only way.

[louiseee]

If he is skinny, no. If I am stronger than he is, it isn't going to happen. As far as muscles go, I don't like extremely defined muscles. I prefer a little fat with muscle like this link and link over this link AND link And if there isn't any muscle, I'd rather he was chubby. If a boy is skinnier than I am and weaker than I am, I am going to feel self conscious about myself, I don't want to be with some one that makes me feel physically big. I want to feel small.

Pictures for no muscle bodys. NO to these two link and link I'd rather have the chunky men because I'd still feel petite. If you can't get muscles, get fatter. You will have a better shot.

[Levin]

You want a guy to put on blubber so he's in with a shot with you? Okay...

[louiseee]

Ha. He asked what we find to be most attractive. I prefer a guy that is bigger than me. I am 5'11 and 133 lbs. My waist is 24 inches. If he is less that that. Yea, he needs to get chubbier or some muscle. NO girl wants a guy that is thinner than her. It kills a lot of sexual fantasies too. Do I want a guy to put on blubber to be with me? No, go find some one that wants you for you. But MY type is as I showed above.

[xBurningSilence]

Thanks this is what I had assumed most girls were attracted to, the middle ground of the two

[Levin]

I'm not disagreeing with your right to state what you find desirable. I just find it interesting you'd ask a guy to put on fat. What about the poor fellow's health? I find it interesting that women don't realize how perverse some of the things they say are.

[kheserthorpe]

Its like breasts. Some guys like big ones, some like small. Some girls like big muscles, some like lean guys.

[louiseee]

Oh, and being super skinny is healthy? Ha, it's not. It's like a VERY skinny girl. It isn't attractive. A lean girl is. But why would a boy want to live by standards that are found attractive on woman? Just like women would not be considered attractive if they are extremely muscular. Having a little chub is not unhealthy. It's fine. It isn't like obesity.

[Levin]

Great, so now you've topped off your cake of bullsh*t with the perfect cherry. You somehow think the standards of what you find attractive is universalised. Apparently skinny men aren't attractive at all. I shall let my girlfriend know. Incidentally, skinny men can be tall, angular, have tight abs and that V shape. Don't think that's stereotypically girlie?

[louiseee]

Holy crap, how about you shove it and let people have an opinion. two of my friends like the skinny guy thing. I don't. HE WAS ASKING FOR PEOPLES OPINIONS.

[Anonymous]

I don't like very muscular guys, for example these ones: link link

link

i don't like body builders, I find way too much, I find it gross: link

i found this link:

link

i like from the 22 to the 25, the rest are just too much

I don't mind if a guy is muscular or not, to be honest I prefer a guy that is skinny or chubby that a guy who is too muscular, as long as the guy is healthy and is comfortable with himself it's OK, if you like yourself, others will like you too ;)

[xBurningSilence]

On that list I'm about 23 lol. Good to know thanks for answering :)

[Opinion Owner]

Then I think your body is great, don't worry about it ;), and your welcome :)

[xBurningSilence]

Maybe 22 lol I don't know inbetween the two but still :P

[goflipaburger]

I like boys in all shapes and sizes :O

Even though I'm known for being a chubby chaser, most of the guys I've pursued relationships with were very very thin lol. I think I've only dated one muscular guy-- but he grew to be muscular, he was thin when he first caught my eye.

If that's you in all your photos, your body type is totally fine :)

My ex also struggled with this, even though I looovvveddd his body when he was thin, it wasn't something he was happy with. If you feel that this might be the case for you, I know that working out (not necessarily becoming muscular, just active) then I doubt any positive response will help. If you think for even a minute that another persons approval isn't enough to boost your confidence, you need to take charge of it head first. Plus, being healthy and fit makes you happy.

[xBurningSilence]

Yeah its me in my photos :P and those are like 7 months old now I think. I got a little more muscle definition from working my last job in construction. My fore arms are more defined now and my biceps are slightly bigger.

[Freetobe007]

I'm going to be 100% honest...

Muscles can definitely make a guy more attractive. But coming from a girl who works in a gym, they are certainly not everything! lol Big muscles don't do anything for me. Maybe that's because I see them all the time, or because I've dated a guy with huge ones and theyr'e just not all that they're made out to be! I think what a lot of girls like about muslces is they can create the illusion that the guy can fight. Girls like protectors. We don't want a guy who is going to be a whimp. Yet, muscles don't mean a guy can fight. Yeah, they can definitely help because they give you strength. But I've seen muscular guys get beat up. Go to the gym and start working out!

The two guys I was most crazy about did not have a ton of muscle! One was just plain scrawny, the other was an athlete but he still didn't have a ton of muscle and they still won me over!

[rachel05]

no, I get crush's on tons of guys that are skinny haha.. muscle, yes, is attractive, but if the skinny dude's personality and face is cuter or whatever then I'll pick the skinny dude.. there's tons of skinny dude's that are cuter than muscular.. no worries man.. and your in a band.. that's hot ;)

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest, more muscle wins out over less.

I don't like hugely ripped guys at all and abs don't do much for me. I think nice arms are way more important, with a flat and toned stomach. Its just extremely sexy when a guy is much bigger and stronger than you.

The wonderful thing about being a guy is that you can go to a gym and build your attractiveness. I Know itd really hard for some guys but there's medications and supplements to help you put on weight. With girls either you're born with it or you're not!

[cazza3]

I'm less attracted to guys that ARE muscular, I'd even go as far to say really muscled guys turn me off. I prefer a guy who looks like he has a life besides being in the gym 24/7 admiring himself in the mirror

[JK7062]

So does this mean that you don't appreciate men who take the time and effort go to the gym to keep fit and get stronger?

Do you prefer lazy unfit men with beer guts and no motivation?

Not everyone who goes to the gym is a self-obsessed wanker!

[AmberChick]

I think a lot of girls are attracted to guys with more muscle because it gives the illusion that they can protect them better though I'm sure a skinny guy can do just the same. The fact that you are self conscious and have low self esteem and low confidence has nothing really to do with how much muscles are on your body at least from a girl's perspective. A skinny guy who is confident is hot and a guy who has a bunch of muscles but has low self esteem is not.

[dalila]

Most of girls I know don't Like the too muscular look, only really fitted girls Like Personal trainers Like that Van Diesel type...

I Like skinny guys more than any other type as long as they are tall and have broad shoulder...

But a bit of muscular specially on the arms is pretty good...

[anony84]

I personally don't like super muscular guys but some girls do. Every woman is different and has different preferences. I like them slim but with some muscles.

But seriously, the thing that makes me head over heels for a guy isn't his looks. Sure they are a factor but a super good looking guy who is an a**hole that treats me like crap - well, I'm not going to like him no matter how amazing a 6 pack he has.

[Anonymous]

Don't have low self esteem and low confidence. I prefer skinny guys.

I don't know where the attraction comes from because while I am also kinda slim, I'm very curvy (busty and hippy). I'm also self-conscious about my body because I can't wear cute things without looking slutty so I have to dress very conservatively and I feel like skinny guys would be more attracted to me if I were a little less curvy.

[saturdayx]

No. Typically, in fact, I find myself more attracted to tall and very thin men.

[Levin]

good girl.

[hi13hi]

In my opinion i didn't read everyone else's there's too long and I'm lazy, but I preferably like skinny guys with little muscle and especially if their tall its a bonus. I also like like punk rock or emo styled guys.

[jolielaide_transcend]

I've always been more attracted to chubby guys, or really skinny guys who are "cut" but not bulky.

But occasionally I'll go for "buff" guys, as long as they don'tlook like a bodybuilder/:

[WayTooPopular]

Notice what women say about this. Then notice what they do. Use your brain.

[Fiona83]

Too muscular looks ridiculours anyay. A little muscles can look very nice, as long as they're not too much.

Not too skinny, not too chubby, not too many muscles --> my type.

[Anonymous]

Ya if he's too skinny but I don't like buff guys like defined or a little definiiton but your young so don't worry

[AdamThomas]

The bigger I get the more attention I get from women.

[Norris16]

I would think that it all depends on the women because not every women likes guys that can't touch their hands behind their back... You would have to look at who they have dated or ask then to be 100% sure.

[mayjay17]

Personally, I think a smaller guy (weight-wise not height-wise) is more attractive. Though, if the guy is skinnier than me, or I can put my arms all the way around him and touch shoulders again, it's not cute anymore.

[Lynda_The_Devil]

Well for me I love muscles. The more muscle a guy has the more I like looking at his body.

[Anonymous]

no, in fact too much muscle turns me off