Girls, Girls: Do you get very aggressive during ovulation?

[guilly18butnot]

My SO gets extremely aggressive during her fertile window. Just before a few days before ovulating, she get's so angry at everything, so violent at times (even a few times physically) that it is clear not only that she loses control of herself, but also that she can make life changing decisions over her distorted emotions over that period of time.

Her PMS is usually out of the scale, but her pre-ovulation matches it and even surpasses it sometimes. This has affected her relations (not only in couple, but with friends and family) in severe ways over her life.

Do any of you ladies get these syptoms, and how do you cope with them? or how would you describe them? or what damage have these done to your life?

[Jesslin412]

I get horny a week away from my period and during my period my brain is in a fog, I’m tired, and I’m a total grouch. Sometimes it’s way worse than other times. When it’s a mild feeling no one usually notices it but me. When it’s bad people can tell I’m not myself. Every month 😞 it sucks! Don’t ever be a girl. Taking flax seeds to see if they help.

[guilly18butnot]

Good advice, since I was not planning on being a girl so far.

[Jesslin412]

😂😂😂

[Jesslin412]

🤦🏻‍♀️

[guilly18butnot]

:) :)

[Jenna422]

i get pissed off more easily & i am emotionally more sensitive about two weeks before i start. as i have become older, i have been able to realize why the feelings seem so amplified & have been able to keep them in check, well for the most part.

by the way, guys have their own form of pms throughout the month also.

[guilly18butnot]

I agree with you, at least related to me. We guys do have some "forms of PMS", although I relate it more to seasons (mainly spring) rather than a regular monthly cycle.

It is also related to hormone imbalances, and in our case is very much related to testosterone. Some might not notice it, but often when we have not had sex (or ejaculated, for instance) for a while, our behavior suffers notable changes: we become more aggressive, more possesive, more sensitive, and actually do distort the reality around us.

[Jenna422]

no it is monthly... maybe has more to do with living with a female & pheromones put off by the female during ovulation.

[Mickey9]

Omg dont think im weird but... okay im usually kind of aggressive already. I don't know i hate it about myself but im just already kind of that way, but at the very beginning of my pms i get unusually happy. Even today, i just started spotting and i was so happy i went out in the cloudy and raint weather to pick weeds, while i danced to stupid music with my dog. Its reverse for me.. even when i have horrible cramps im not mad... idky..

[guilly18butnot]

Well you are 17 and your hormones are probably playing tricks on you. As a male, when I was your age I tended to be very aggressive to for no real reason: everything in my close surroundings annoyed me (specially family and close people), and in that I think hormones play a big role, but has nothing to do with cyclic monthly peroids of crazyness related to ovulation or PMS.

By my very early 20s I became much more relaxed as I started to learn about my sexuality and cope with my frustrations, many of which came from social interaction. And I'm quite confident that you will reach that level. If you feel better when you are near your PMS that might mean that you gain confidence due to your hormonal imbalance, which in many ladies such confidence provokes them excess of self esteem and selfishness. In your case sounds like a medicine.

I do dance with my dog in my 40s too, by the way, or at least cuddle a lot!

[Mickey9]

Hahaha! Thats cute.. thanks for the enlightenment... i mean i just think its mindblowing how i can be brushing on depresssion and then near pms i feel better for a bit... its crazy. I think its bad that its reversed though..

[guilly18butnot]

well I'm no doctor, wait for what your doctor has to say. by the way, also in my experience, these hormonal imbalances and behavior ups and downs are usually difficult to spot by regular doctors, and even most psychiatrist (which are often mediocre) will not give you a conclusive result, mostly by saying "there's nothing wrong with you". I recommend you always get a second input from another doctor.

Yet you are very young, and as I said, well, that could be the only and simple reason.

On the other hand, I love my dogs and do make me much much more balanced!!

[Mickey9]

Thanks

[Prettygurl12]

I don't pay close enough attention to my cycle to be able to answer this. I think I remain around the same level of aggressive all the time.

[guilly18butnot]

Many women, such as my sister, cousins or even my mother, have very mild PMS and ovulation symptoms. You might fall into this category and if so, you are lucky because most of the time you are in control of yourself and of your own decisions.

However, some are not. It must obviously be a genetic trait as it does not run in my family, but I've found out that the girls I've met with this problem carry it in the family lineage.

Lucky you! :)

[1truekhaleesi]

No, never. I just cry about stupid stuff among other things.

[guilly18butnot]

I'm sorry to hear, it must be a pain in the ass feeling that way without being able to control it. Does this recurrent depression get you in a defensive mood? It is common that when we feel in pain or anxious for long enough, we can become aggressive towards our environment. I can tell you are still pretty young and perhaps you haven't let that happen yet.

Do you thing there could be a trigger for you to become defensive (aggressive) towards your surroundings regarding how everything affects you so deeply?

[1truekhaleesi]

Sometimes I get defensive and later wonder why I did that. I wouldn't get aggressive though, I would just leave the room and go cool off. I'm going to go see my doctor next month about balancing my hormones. Because there is a possibility that my thyroid is causing this.

[guilly18butnot]

Thyroid could be a reason, but from my experience that is improbable at your age. I heard also about cases in which the uterus has cysts (bening) that can cause hormonal imbalances. Most of the cases are just that, excess in the changes of hormones during your cycle.

The best way to "combat" those, in my opinion (and somehow vast experience) is getting to know yourself and trying hard to identify these up and downs when they are happening (which can be very difficult, as you are already intoxicated by the imbalance).

I know that oral contraceptives help many women to balance their PMS, but can have the side effect of losing your libido. Also, Prozak alike anti-depressants (selectic serononin reuptike inhibitors) are mood stabilizers quite effective for PMS and do not affect libido as much, and have much less side effects.

[guilly18butnot]

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, sorry I was typing without even looking at the keyboard!

[1truekhaleesi]

That's good to know. It could be a lot of different things but since I have family history of thyroid issues, I called my doctor.

[guilly18butnot]

I hope you find your answer, and you do the right thing to be concerned about it. In my experience many women even deny to suffer from PMS or pre-ovulation disorders, and live their lives in a really destructive way both to the people they love, and to themselves.

Just remember this piece of advice from this anonymous soul on the Internet, best way is to get to know yourself. And as I can see, as you are self aware of your mood changes and how they can affect you, you are certainly in the good path.

My humble best wishes to you!

[melina_19]

My symptoms are just that I get extremely horny and the side of my stomach hurts like hell

[guilly18butnot]

My SO gets extremely horny mainly after her period. During her fertile days and ovulation (apart from the pain you mention) she gets very, very aggressive. I'm not sure if it has to do with testosterone levels, which account not only for "hornyness" but also for aggressivenes.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

I feel dark and alone. And I want to pull the hair out your scalp, rip you eyes out and put it into your ass. And slash your throat until water splatters all over the wall

[guilly18butnot]

That's cool. Oh no wait, that's being 14. That's being sooo confused and confronted with yourself and everything else in life. You'll get over it, hopefully not killing anyone?

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

No it's actually a psychological problem I had every sense I was little I, my moods like to change. Only 14% of the time I'm crazy but that's when I have no feeling and something is taking over my body

[guilly18butnot]

You should be more specific, as instead of a hormonal imbalance you might be experiencing bipolar disorder, which could shape in the form of social phobia among many other things. Also a split personality disorder (dissociative identity disorder) could be in order.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

Oh ok, already been told that's bunch of times when I was explaining it

[guilly18butnot]

Good to know I'm the average poster. Perhaps you should elaborate that info you provide. Also, it would be quite interesting to know if you are acting upon the need of attention by playing the victim.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

Oh I see that you think I'm playing victim. That's fine I'm just trying to find help but you don't have to understand.

[guilly18butnot]

Obviously I will never understand when on this side of the computer, the information shared here is scarce and overmore the means of communcation are limited.

However don't close your thoughts on that what I told you was a demeaning preconception, or an insult. You should consider it as they way I actually wanted it to be: an open possibility. Actually you answer did play on the side of the victim (nobody understands me, no one ever will, I know what I'm going through and they will never do... and so on).

It does not mean neither that you are the victim, neither that you are guilty of anything you do, or are, or behave like. It means that you might have a cognitive misperception on life, or put in simpler words, you perceive things your way and don't let any other input in.

Remember that your goal in life is being happy, and you might have entered a path of denial to avoid external pain (and any other external input) to reach this goal. The first step is to get to know yourself.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

No because every time I tell someone or my mom they just look at me weird and then try to change the subject and then others would tell others and then a rumor spread the school that I was a devil worshipper

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

Something is wrong with my mind and the problems keep getting bigger. Sometime I can't see anything, I keep thinking someone is falling me, I saw a hand under my bed but there was no one there, I keep seeing things, I keep enjoying my own pain and others, but the when I snap out it changes into super happy or depression.

[guilly18butnot]

Well, you need to find the right person to talk about this. Usually parents are overprotective, and your surroundings of your same age are as confused as you are, and therefore provide no help at all, if not more harm.

What you need is someone with enough EMPATHY to step into your shoes, and understand what you are going through. That is difficult as most of your emotions, as I can percieve, are turbulent and somewhat chaotic, which might explain your aggressiveness and reactions based on impulse, as well as your rejection for help. Why would you need help from someone who actually didn't show a bit of understanding of what you are going through?

All I can tell you from this distance, the distance of a computer and a keyboard, is that the solution lies within yourself and only within yourself. You have to learn to love yourself to start loving others.

And believe if I tell you that loving yourself is the first step (and fundamental step) for your own happiness. I wish you the best.

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

Alright thanks

[vishna]

She needs to go to a doctor, she's a human being, not a freaking cat XD

[guilly18butnot]

XD indeed... she's going to a doctor, a psychiatrist, but psychiatrist don't work on the hormonal level, although understand it very well. However his diagnose of "borderline personality disorder" without disregarding her mood swings due to hormone imbalances is very intriguing.

[Rissyanne]

When I do ovulate... I get very horny.

[guilly18butnot]

yup, like it should be... I wouldn't have asked this question if I didn't find disturbing the fact that some women do get extremely aggressive and violent.

I read once that this can happen to many women towards other women, as a way to protect her way into her mating with the alfa male. However I've seen this behavior affecting these women no matter to whom they are deflecting their aggressiveness whenever they are in range.

Perhaps has some correlation with men being all the time horny (testosterone levels are mostly responsible) and also being pretty much aggressive than women on average?

[guilly18butnot]

Oh, and you're 51, you should not be ovulating anymore!! (horny is admitted though) :P

[Rissyanne]

Tell me about it!! But I still have a period every month. can't wait for menopause.

[guilly18butnot]

You know you can be going over menopause even if having your period right?

Anyway my SO's mother had her menopause when she was 50, and she seems to be undergoing the same path. And menopause is a gradual thing anyway, it just makes your cycles very irregular and it can last for years!

Just keep getting horny and not aggressive. For some unknown reason, men do prefer the first.

[Rissyanne]

That is called perimenopause. You have to go a year without a period to be considered in full menopause. .

[guilly18butnot]

True that. Peri = around.

[rgb008]

Yeah I turn into a werewolf

[guilly18butnot]

lol! my SO turns more into a self confident, selfish greenish witch. It all stays in the fairy tale realm I see.

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

Nope I just get horny and affectionate

[guilly18butnot]

Well, you and your partner are lucky! Some women do get very aggressive! Although it is more common during PMS, I've seen real damage done during pre-ovulation states which would dwarf PMS symtoms.

[Eternallylucky]

Just feeling frisky

[guilly18butnot]

Like most, and that's the normal thing.

[Anonymous]

How do you know she's ovulating?

[guilly18butnot]

Due to the fact that she also has a very strong PMS, I've been for the past few years tracking her cycle via an app which calculates every bit based on well known formulas. It usually is 100% accurate, so apart from her changes in character (not subtle changes, but big changes), I have some additional information to predict these.

Even if I did not have this tool, I can tell she is in her fertile window period pre-ovulation, because her pupils dilate, her breathing becomes irregular when she talks, and her cognition skills are totally upside down.

[guilly18butnot]

Sorry I meant to say 90% accurate, not 100%!

[Opinion Owner]

You really think women's cognition skills change when we ovulate? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't breathe. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[guilly18butnot]

No, not at all. Don't take it as if I were talking about you, or in general!

I wouldn't have posted this question if I were not talking about a specific case.

Yet, glad you had a good laugh ;)