White guy with Latina/Hispanic fetish?

[Anonymous]

Hello, hope you all doing fine. My problem is that I'm a Latina and my boyfriend is white, found out he has a Latina/Hispanic fetish and he has had more relationships with Hispanics than whites, now I feel really uncomfortable cause now I don't know if he liked me for who I am or cause I'm a Latina, may I have your opinion or help in how to deal with this?

[PersianKitty]

That is a racial fetish and you have every right to be uncomfortable. If you take away everything Latina from you and you can't see him ever going for you, you have your answer. I am coming from a personal place on this because I have been in the same shoes as you many times. It is uncomfortable. It's nice at first because you know he is into you, but liking you for something you cannot change, something you were born with, it's odd. For men to date women based on looks like oh I like brunettes, or oh I like tanned skin women, that is a normal. But dating a specific race is disturbing to say the least. Oh I like Asians because they are docile, that is absolutely not true, which Asians? Vietnamese? Chinese? Korean? Asia is huge and you cannot generalize based on stereotypes. That generalization is dangerous. He is liking an idea of you instead of liking the real you. Run. As fast as you can.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Well, maybe he did fetishize you or maybe he legitimately does like you for who you are. It's entirely possible that, while Hispanic women is his preference, he truly does want to be with you not only because of your ethnicity but because he also enjoys your company, likes your personality, and just wants to be with YOU. However, if you are that uncomfortable with it then it's definitely something you should bring up to him. Communication is important.

[Asker]

Thank you! Most appreciated! I will talk to him about it.

[xHoneyxBeex]

No problem! Hope it all works out:)

[Asker]

Thank you dear (:

[ArabianPwincess197]

it's not a fetish its a preference and he might like latins/Hispanics - but within that category he chose you -which means he likes you for you and not because of your race etc. So don't feel insecure

[Anonymous]

Would you blame him if he liked you because you are pretty?

Or because you're a woman?

So why fault him for liking you on grounds of race? This is positive discrimination, you could say, even though other White women might not like it.

Sometimes we're positively disposed towards some races because of how we perceive them. This might be a stereotype, but there's also a bit of truth in it. African women are humble. Asian women are docile. White women tend to be bossy (specially American, not so much in Europe, where they're more cultured). Latinas tend to be sensual and know how to make a man feel like a men, etc etc... There might be a germ of truth in these stereotypes. If he wants to believe it, let him.

You shouldn't fault him for his (positive) biases. Just go along with it.

[Jonny_]

Depends how 'normal' his preference is, for the most part it shouldn't make a difference... Yes he'll favour you more, but he'll still have standards. White girls aren't my preference, but I'd date a girl who 'ticks more boxes' for me personally over my 'race preference'.

[Asker]

Well, he says it's a fantasy, now I kind of doubt his feelings towards me in the term that since I'm his type of "fetish" that I'm something partial for him.

[Jonny_]

Consider it a different way, you're obviously not the only Latina woman out there... Forget about other girls and only think of Latina girls, and that he could date one of the many Latina's...

[stubbsy]

Don't go to much on it, no guy would go with a girl just because of their race, they would still have to be attracted to them, its just a choice who you choose to look for when he says he has a Hispanic/Latina preference, so don't sweat it, you can be sure he is with you because he is attracted to you and not just because your Latina x

[Asker]

Thank you!

[stubbsy]

your welcome,x

[yaddayaddayadda02]

First of all, the word fetish is WAY overused (mostly incorrectly ). Fetish means you find non-sexual thing sexual. Therefore, if you have a foot fetish, you find feet sexually arousing. A race isn't a non sexual item.

What he has is a preference. No different from someone who finds redheads sexy.

Relax.

[HeyoDillo]

Every guy has their preferences. I like nerdy shy girls, that's why all my girl friends were nerdy and shy, but the relationships where more then that. Once you start talking I liked the girl for many other reasons.

This guy your talking about was attracted to you because your his type, but got into a relationship with you because he likes who you are.

[Asker]

Thank you, I hope that's what's happening.

[Red_Arrow]

Some guys prefer redheads. Some prefer short girls. Some prefer girls with little makeup. Etc. Just because that is his preference does not mean that that is the only thing he is attracted to. Guys who like short girls date them till they find one they fall for. Same with hair color and whatever. If he is sticking with you it is because of who you are, not what you are (Latina).

[discreet]

it may be that he grew up in a neighborhood w Latinas.. is that so?

it may explain it rtt?

just think if you grew up in a neighborhood w a different dominant nationality than yours, or your school had very few Latinos, you would dating pool would be very small vs having alternative choices.

[CellLuddite]

Just pretend he's Latino. It makes sense for a Latino to have a Latina fetish. But if he's white...

[larry69]

I prefer Latina women to white women..I think Latinas are beautiful..but it is not a fetish.

[Anonymous]

Yeah they love having fetishes .