Search Results: looks or personality

A really good personality or really good physical appearance.

If I had to pick one as a guy I would pick looks anyday. As to me a girl that’s just sweet and caring and girly is a good personality. I don’t need a good personality just someone calm and obedient.

For example, a dark skinned girl asks, "do you like dark-skinned girls?"

Or a Chinese girl asks, "do you like Chinese girls?"

When it comes to ethnicity/skin tone, I always say that I really don't care. If I find her physically attractive and she has an amazing personality, I wouldn't be able to say no. This is the complete truth, but I'm wondering if she'd rather hear, "yes, I love dark-skinned girls" or "Chinese girls"

Or if a tall girl asks, "do you like tall girls?"

For this one though I'd answer a bit differently. I'd still be being honest but I think height is an interesting one because the vast majority of guys prefer shorter, and women usually are a good amount shorter, so it really is just the normal thing. However some are clearly in different circumstances.

I'd be very genuine by saying something like "I usually prefer shorter girls but if she looks good and has an amazing personality, how can I say no?" Do you think she'd rather hear "yes I love tall girls"?

For those who are unaware, I just want to point out that these examples illustrate the differences between male and female perspective on dating. Men might have strong preferences but women are more likely to have strict requirements for measurable standards such as height.

Some other examples:

"do you like thick girls?"

"Do you like girls with small boobs?"

I went through this about 10 years ago. My then 25 year old girlfriend made more than me when I was 32. But at the time I was pursuing a dream (I was a professional athlete) and I my time was consumed with training. I was no dead beat but I just had a different focus at the time.

I was doing freelance work just to pay the bills and I was struggling. She even offered me money at one time (which extremely kind of her) but it I turned it down out of pride and went further in debt.

Anyway the insecurity was on my side when it can to this (also contributed to our break up). She didn’t care but I did. It had a lot to with being raised to “be a man” when it came to being a breadwinner.

Nowadays I make a lot more money given I’m retired from my sport and have full focus on my career. But I am also a lot more “boring” now since I’m no longer the free wheeling adventurer I once was.

But money is a touchy issue. Form a evolutionary perspective I really do believe most women still subconsciously expect a man to provide for them even it’s unnecessary or impractical. They might get into short term flings with guys who offer other benefits (looks, excitement, adventurer, personality, etc) but when it comes to long term commitments they have a much higher bar on this

I also believe when a woman makes more money then her boyfriend/husband she’s more prone to cheating. Especially if she is comparable to him when it comes to looks (maybe she will stay loyal if she’s physically unattractive compared to him)

In fact I believe it’s unfairly more socially “acceptable” for a woman to do this given the guy is considered a “chump” if he is financial dependent on her. More more acceptable then vice versa.

I have a divorced uncle who worked a low paying his entire life and was supported by his (comparably) rich wife. She was no multi millionaire but she earned a lot more than him.

She ended up cheating on him the entire marriage. He tolerated it because they had kids and he needed support.