Search Results: feeling alive

I've done it three times, while I'm not proud of it, I'm not entirely ashamed of it either. I've never been on a date in my life and I've always felt a sense of inferiority over others because of it. This often leaves me feeling that there's no point in trying because I know damn well no girl will date me when the world is full of men who are objectively better than me in every way. So I hired an escort, she was very nice to me and I enjoyed both her company and the sex. I wanted to see her again, so a few weeks later, I met up with her again, the connection was more deep and beyond just a business arrangement, but I eventually came to terms with the fact that it wasn't going anywhere outside of appointments. After many months, I decided to give dating another try, only to get stood up 11 times which kept my streak of never being on a date alive. So I hired another escort and she gave quite terrible service. I'm falling back into the abyss very quickly and it's only a matter of time before I hire another one because admittedly, there's no other way for any woman to want to do anything with me. I have people who love me unconditionally, there's people I'm always there for in their darkest days, but they can't be there for me during mine. What do you think of people who hire escorts?