Search Results: friend vs. relationship

I think my Boyfriend is great. Though, this is my first long term relationship. I never thought I would be in one so soon. At 21, I must have dated about a dozen guys in the past. Most of the time, I'd go on just one date-three dates with the same guy. They were passionate and sexually compatible. I had a few 2 month long relationships, as well. I had attachment issues and usually ended them, before I got hurt!!

I hope I didn't get in a relationship for the wrong reasons, I wanted to be in a committed relationship with someone I trusted while at college, to keep me from f***ing around!! But... then I started to really like him--at least what I knew about him. Ironically, this started as a friends with benefits relationship.

Now, I am in a serious relationship with him. I have high standards, and worry we aren't as compatible as I thought. I lived at college and only saw him 2x a month during the school year. I didn't get to know him as well as I should have: but, time went quickly and now our relationship is more serious than I expected it to become.

I don't want to get engaged any time soon. I don't even know if I want to marry him! I do love him, though... but I wish our love was full of passion!

How can I be sure he is the one--since this is the first guy I allowed myself to get to know? We are having problems with spontaneity, passion and sexual preferences (kinky-me, Vs vanilla-him).

We've been together (more serious) for about 6 months, though we dated the first 6 months.

How long of a time should I give this relationship to improve... before having second thoughts? I'm not one to cheat, I worry he will propose one day in the next few years, will this be a waste of time if I don't plan to marry (him or anyone) for awhile? Am I just afraid? What can I do to fix my relationship? I'd improve it ASAP if I knew how! HELP!