Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

Sarah Maclean posted this on twitter and it is glorious. I will proceed most carefully. Romance writers and fellow romance readers please don't kill if I screw this up. This myTake was inspired by similar articles written by fellow Romance bloggers.

Romance is one of the most successful genres in America it outsells fantasy, science fiction and mystery. It has made an estimated $1.35 billion in revenue just in 2010, yet it is purposely excluded from literary festivals and awards. It is also the genre that is most often criticized typically by men, but women are guilty of this as well. Women who read romance novels are often criticized as well. They are ashamed to admit to a love of romance novels out of fear that they will be seen as less intelligent, sad, lonely, unattractive, or sexually frustrated. So in order to shed some light on this often misunderstood genre I will be tackling the arguments I as a fan of romance am the most sick of hearing.Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

Here is the link to the survey questions for the infographics I will be using:

It is pretty interesting when comparing the question results of what readers think and what public opinion thinks.

Sooooo what is a romance novel?

A Romance novel and I'm going to quote Romance Writers of America (RWA) on this has, "Two basic elements comprise every romance novel: a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending. Romance novels may have any tone or style, be set in any place or time, and have varying levels of sensuality — ranging from sweet to extremely hot. These settings and distinctions of plot create specific subgenres within romance fiction." and here's another one: "The main plot centers around individuals falling in love and struggling to make the relationship work. A writer can include as many subplots as he/she wants as long as the love story is the main focus of the novel."

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

Now parts of that explanation is debatable like whether or not romance novels can have happy endings or if the romance is always prioritized over plot. This often is not the case in a long standing series, there are times when a conflict (sub-plot) first must change a characters way of thinking before the romance can continue. There is a corresponding Romance sub-genre for every genre in fiction but the RWA only mentions 7 sub-genres, but there are even sub-sub-genres or tropes, Time Travel Romance for example. Now that you basically know what a Romance novel is lets move on to the matter at hand.

1. This (insert novel here) is bad so all romance novels must be just as bad.

Yeah I won't even. Check explanation above.

2. They are escapist literature.

Why yes they are as well as a many of fantasy and science fiction novel. Yet no one gets hounded for reading Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia.

Come to think of it that reminds me a certain C.S. Lewis quote from On Stories: And Other Essays on Literature, “Hence the uneasiness which they arouse in those who, for whatever reason, wish to keep us wholly imprisoned in the immediate conflict. That perhaps is why people are so ready with the charge of "escape." I never fully understood it till my friend Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, "What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and hostile to, the idea of escape?" and gave the obvious answer: jailers.”

How do you do Mr. Jailer?

3. They are formulaic.

So have you ever heard of any fantasy novels recently where a youth is tasked to defeat a great evil with the help of a wise old wizard? How about a rebellious teenage girl tasked with over throwing an evil totalitarian government? Yeah that's strange so I have I. My point is all genres have a formula but having a formula does not make them formulaic. A genre is "a category of artistic composition, as in music or literature, characterized by similarities in form, style, or subject matter." after all.

Not all romance hero's are billionaire playboys that are tamed by naive, virginal heroines. I must admit "category" or series romances do follow a strict format these novels are typical published by Harlequin and they tend to be shorter than other romance novels. I resent their predictability so I studiously avoid them which is easy they are not difficult to recognize both the category and publisher is usually mentioned on the front cover. There is nothing wrong with liking a series romance however, some readers like my mother enjoy knowing exactly what to expect beforehand. That's not a bad thing.

The very many tropes and sub-genres that exist in romance is a testament to its complexity. There is most definitely room for diversity of course.

This is a very good article about Harlequin:

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

Series Romance Book covers vs. The Immortals After Dark Paranormal Romance Book covers because I love these cover designs!

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

4. Romance Novels are like porn for women.

Porn often degrades women and the sex involved is just as often painful in nature. Though this may be true for all porn.There is good porn, but finding porn that does not make me cringe or want to barf is often a feat in and of itself. So naturally I find this comparison to porn puzzling. Not all romances novels even have sex scenes and are very light on sexual themes so the point is moot.

People who make this assumption need to understand not all romance novels or even Erotic Romance novels are like Fifty Shades of Grey (which as many a romance reader has agreed is terribly written). Bad romance novels always get more media and public attention than good ones. If romance novels however, are the female equivalent to pornography I'm not sure its really such a bad thing. Romance novels not only portray heroines with healthy sexual appetites but heroes who are supportive of this.

I must confess before romance novels I never wanted to have sex it always appeared painful and degrading. Sexual vocabulary did not help much with words like, gang bang, screw, fuck, nail. I even hated sexual joke and references. Reading romantic fan fiction helped me a little but it wasn't until I started reading adult romances novels did my feeling about sex truly change. Romance novels, good romance novels have helped me and so many other women take back what porn took away our sensual expression.

The argument that romance is porn rather than legitimate literature demonstrates how our society belittles things that are feminine. Themes with action, crime, science fiction, are more masculine so are more valid than a subject matter that focuses on emotions and love even when the subject matter includes those themes. WTF SOCIETY!

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

5. Romance novels give women unrealistic expectations about relationships by making women want "perfect" guys.

I have not built an expectation for a seven feet tall centuries old vampire who doesn't look a day over 30 with a huge dick that also just so happens to be a billionaire because I read Paranormal Romance novels (and the Lord knows I do not want an Edward Cullen ew). Not just because that would be stereotyping vampires. How dare I think of such a thing! VAMPIRES ARE PEOPLE TO! (not all PR novels are about vampires anyway) But mainly because I do have common sense and any woman with half a brain would know this as well.

Saying that Romance novels give women unrealistic expectations about relationships is like saying people who watch Criminal Minds all want to become serial killers (Shh... I won't tell if you don't). Not only is this belittling it is down right insulting. Besides not all romance heroes are perfect, far from it actually and can have deep emotional flaws. Flaws that can often be traced back to event that took place in their pasts which can be as tame as a previous failed relationship or a promiscuous past, to the traumatic loss of a loved one, or even childhood sexual abuse. If the characters are perfect it really wouldn't make much for a story. Good romance heroes and heroines have flaws and together they make each other better.

Here is an article about how some romance authors have attacked writing about sexually abused heroes:

Then there are novels with socially awkward heroes or introverted heroes like Ivan from Delphine Dryden's The Theory of Attraction or Judd from Nalini Singh's Caressed By Ice.

6. Romance novels encourage abusive relationships by making women want "bad boys".

Hello, do you know the person who came up with argument #5 by any chance? This is no less insulting both are based on the same deluded misconception that romance readers cannot distinguish fact from fiction. Good romance novels tend to have the opposite effect by showing what a positive relationship can do. I'll address that in a minute but first look at this image:Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid(

The Pixel Project is a global effort to raise awareness about domestic violence against women and girls. This image is from their International Women’s Day edition of “Read For Pixels" for 2016 year not all but most of these writers write romance. These award winning authors donated not only merchandise but time spent on doing a google hang session to discuss why they support ending violence against women. No genre of fictitious literature arguably (though I highly doubt it) addresses the issues of domestic or sexual violence as often as Romance novels do from the female perspective. The character's experiences may strike a chord in women who even may be in abusive relationships and not even know it. (

So good Romance novels can actually do a lot more good then anyone can imagine. Just seeing the strong stable relationships depicted in romance novels may give them the strength they need to leave a abusive relationship. I have seen quite a few accounts of this actually taking place rather than encouraging abusive relationships romance novels appear to have the opposite effect. Now I have read of some women complaining about it affecting their marriages which makes one wonder. Did it have something to do with the heroines finding fulfilling love, having orgasmic sex, or being happy with their lives? Maybe all three?

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

7. Romance Novels are stupid.

There are some bad written books in romance just like any other genre but stupidity is subjective and this generalization implies by extension woman who read romance novels are stupid.

I don't think I can refute this better than in this article by Anne Browning Walker here:

or Sarah Wendell's cause she's a badass:

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are StupidArguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

8. The characters are physically flawless.

Uh kind of, sort of, generally, not really. Look, I really only pay attention to physical descriptions when I feel like it because by the end of the book the only thing that really matters is the love between the hero and heroine. However, if you must know there is such a thing as a BBW Romance where the women is plus-sized this trope is most easily found in the paranormal and erotic romance genres. I know the Paranormal Romance author Milly Taiden loves writing these things.

As for the hero...

One must remember when a heroine describes her male as perfect it is according to her own preferences. Heroes tend to differ in physicality much more often then in heroines from my experience. There are a lot of warrior heroes with scars or maybe some rough around the edges heroes whom may have had there noses broken once or twice and have permanent stubble no matter how often they shave. Then there is Zsadist from J. W. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood who is all kinds of fucked up. To each her own I suppose. As for characters with disabilities those exist as well. I think there are about 616 books shelved in the Popular Disabled Hero Books on GoodReads.

9. The heroines are weak.

Ah. We have a name for that the infamous too stupid to live or TSTL heroine how I loathe them so. Those exists but so do the kick ass and independent heroines. There are so many kick ass heroines in romance I can't possible name them all. I admire them just as much as I admire the weaker yet intelligent heroines. There are so many great female characters in romance novels these days. I also must begrudgingly admit even TSTL heroines like Sookie Stackhouse possess an indomitable will no matter how many times they make me want to shout. WHY?! WHY SOOKIE? WHY MUST YOU KEEP DOING THE THING?! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO THE THING SOOKIE!

Ahem, but I digress....

Arguments Against Romance Novels And Why They Are Stupid

10.Romance novels are not real literature.

Yes, yes they are. They can deal with vast complex issues have intricate worlds full of meaningful characters. They can make you laugh, cry, scream. They can make you feel. If that isn't literature I don't know what is.

"Romances tackle divisive issues like class, love, women’s sexuality and pleasure, rape, virginity, money, feminism, masculinity and equality—and ultimately how they’re all tangled up with each other. These books promote a woman’s right to make choices about her own life (and body). They take longstanding notions of masculinity and turn them around. They promote a different image of what it means to be a happy, desirable woman—one that doesn’t rely on the right shade of lipstick, but internal qualities instead. These books celebrate women who get out of the house and do all the things that, traditionally, young ladies and good girls don’t do." Maya Rodale from Dangerous Books For Girls: The Bad Reputation of Romance Novels Explained


Most Helpful Guy

  • Porn is not degrading to women, that makes no sense. If its degrading to women then its degrading to men. The reason why its analogues is because it has the same response, women are aroused by the emotional men the visual so while the source is different the end response is the same. Romance novels are crap. Their is a reason why its written by women for women and thats because it holds little to no appeal for a masucline minded man. That isn't to say men cannot enjoy a "romantic" story only that romance novels are written exclusively to appeal to women. Further more as with the romance genre in general it objectifies men to an extreme degree (hence my response to it being no different then yours to porn (the only difference is men realize its a fantasy women seem not to, particularly the younger women who tend to obsess with the genre). Over all if you enjoy it fine, but it is porn for women it is specificly for women and thats not really going to alter it. Men don't need to accept it for you to enjoy it just acknowledge what it is ie you don't hear men trying to pass porn off as art. The only time they say they watch porn for the story is because its ironic not because their serious. Same goes with women and the romance genre. I'm glad that you think it "promotes" a different idea of beauty for women, it doesn't however for men as evident of the covers of almost every romance novel ever written. It doesn't flip masculinity it just applies the masculin when its arousing to the woman ie he is masculin when it fits the mood of the woman. It is quite disgusting really, from a male point of view, again most likely in the same way that you see porn. But again no man is trying to pass it off as more then what it is, titillation. To each their own.

    • "Objectifies men" Where are your sources?

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    • "reducing a male character to a basic aspect" as you put it is not the defenitition of a character. I have already established several times that male heroes are complex and are in no way reduced to a basic aspect and are in fact mulitifaceted. Correct me if I'm wrong you however, believe those facets exist simply to appeal to women. Though do not denie men have those feelings. When I say that those feeling are not outwardly expressed you continue to say it is done to appeal to women. To say all aspects of a character is to appeal to women is quite a strech considering you had just said the opposite was also done to appeal to women.

    • When I wrote outwardly expressed I am referring to verbal communication.

Most Helpful Girl

  • *Applauds*

    Thanks. Nice to see someone addressing all the stereotypes associated with romance novels. I'm not saying it's the greatest genre ever - it's not my personal favorite, and I love reading a variety of different books - but romance gets a bad rep, and I think it's undeserved. I've read many smart, engaging, enthralling romance novels with interesting characters, and even the more shallow ones are often just fun to read.

    Also, the "unrealistic expectations" thing, that assertion is always levied at sources of media, from porn to movies to video games, it never ends. Give people some credit. We have these things to escape reality for a while and live in fantasy, and most people know that. The other 80% of our lives that we spend dealing with the real world is enough to remind us of it too.

    • Thank you. I have a question do you think I should do another myTake related to Romance novels like the different genres or common tropes or something to that effect? I'm thinking about doing one on Paranormal Romance may title it Beyond Twilight: The truth about Paranormal Romance or Why I love Paranormal Romance. I'm not sure I should go straight into Paranormal Romance without doing a general one first.

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    • Awesome thanks for the advice. :)

    • No problem!

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What Guys Said 16

  • in my opinion, it's absolutely TRUE that romance novels are "female porn." That's not a derogatory statement, though - in my opinion there's nothing wrong with either.

    Most of what you've written about romance novels applies to porn - from women and men's perspective respectively. Romance novels are erotic fantasy for women, while porn is erotic fantasy for men. Romance novels are mostly written by women for women, porn is mostly written/directed by men for men. You get the point.

    And in just the same way, most guys will watch porn and do NOT expect their real live woman to look like or act like the girls in porn, just as most women can read romance novels and not expect their men to be Christian Grey. Obviously a handful of looney people DO have those unrealistic expectations, but that's not the fault of porn or romance novels - it's mental illness and lack of perspective.

    I've never had any issues with romance novels because I always understood them to be fantasies - as porn is for men (yes, and some women too). Why should either one be 'bad"?

    • As I have written before not all romance novels have sex in them so the comparison to porn is simple not possible and is unfair to women. Romance novels are about much more then just sex they cover a wide range of issues.

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    • Well it's not really a big deal either way. Nice chatting with you.

  • 4 and 5 are legitimatel criticisms.

    4. Even you said it's the popular ones that are most sexual, which means a lot of women read them and gave them great reviews. But yes, comparing it to porn was never meant to be bad. Just to put into perspective what it actually is in most cases.

    5. In point 4 you said "I must confess before romance novels I never wanted to have sex it always appeared painful and degrading". Essentially stating that reading romance novels changed your views of the sexual part of a relationship. So is it really a stretch to say the same happens for what is expected of the man in the relationship? Yes the criminal minds example was funny. But there's also a lot of truth to the fact. People who watch CSI think that's what the job looks like. When in reality CSI people actually work in ultra bright labs like in a hospital and the process takes months rather than weeks. But still, people accept the distorted view of what is emulated on tv. The same happens for a lot of girls that read romance novels. Not all women obviously, but a lot of women truly look at a book character as the ideal guy and won't "settle" for anything less than that fictional character.

    • No I never said the popular ones were the most sexually. Funny, actually that makes me recall a quote from one of my favorite novels “Ms. Baird, no one is good or bad at sex by themselves,” he drawled. “It’s a team effort, and you know I’m a team player.”
      ― Nalini Singh, Rock Hard.

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    • What visual evidence? So you have seen these mythical spinsters?

    • Considering you are not an expert on female psychology expert even if these women are as awful as you seem to think they are you are still assuming what their problems are.

  • The ONLY problem I have with romance novels (and other romance related media) is that my life is totally devoid of romance, and I just can't relate myself to something which I can probably never experience in my own life (that is, romance).

    • As a biology major I can relate as one whom lives a social life totally devoid of romance or just devoid of a social life in general. Not having a social life has got to be one of the core requisites. lol

  • So as with anything, quality varies. Some of it is junk, some are masterpieces. I get it. The only thing you left out were the titles of some masterpieces. As a connoisseur, I expect you to have some refined taste here. How about giving those of us who might be curious a bit of guidance, lest we fall into the wrong book and find our negative biases reinforced?

    • "Then there are novels with socially awkward heroes or introverted heroes like Ivan from Delphine Dryden's The Theory of Attraction or Judd from Nalini Singh's Caressed By Ice.

      "Then there is Zsadist from J. W. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood who is all kinds of fucked up. "

      Are these recommendations?

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    • Yes. He's like a vulcan because he's Psy and Psy don't feel emotions.

    • Caressed By Ice is his book it's book three in the series.

  • To address your point about romance not being formulaic... romance publishers have checklists for story elements to qualify for release.

    And the bit about Nora Roberts having close to 200 best sellers, implying that it means they should be taken seriously? She averages a new novel every two months. Nobody writes a novel worth celebrating in two months. She cranks that shit out... it's empty fluff, disposable.

    • I have actually looked at Harlequin publication guidelines for series romances they are pretty strict so that makes sense but for single-title romances...
      As for I haven't read any Nora Robert's novels of have you? I didn't make the infographics by the way.

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    • he's just a fad like the millions so came before him. no romance author is worthy of interviews.

    • No Nicolas Sparks does not write romance novels he's adamant there are "love stories".

      Oh really? How many romance novels have you read?

  • I like romance but only and only if it is just an addition to the story. Not the whole purpose for it.

    • I can understand that but Romance novels do have plots you know. Pretty good ones if I do say so myself.

  • Ugh, you know, you read what you want. Why are there any arguments against romance novels in the first place? If you don't enjoy a book, don't read it.

    • Because the world is full of jerks. Arrogant jerks who think they know everything about a genre they know nothing about. Then there are those sexist jerks who think women are no better than children so we can't differentiate between fantasy from reality. I think you get the picture but even perfectly unjerk-like people have some kind of stereotype against romance novels. It just comes with the territory. Oh you read that trash? An aunt asked me that once.

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    • Exactly. You're a good kid.

  • Yeah, I never understand romance stories. I prefer my novels to have smarts and a fair bit of action. Mix in a little sub plot romance and spicy sex and I am happy.

    • Romance novels have that stuff as well.

    • That's actually why I prefer Paranormal Romance it tends to be more action oriented than the other sub-genres.

    • You sound like you would like Urban Fantasy.

  • it would have been easier to just say that you should have read more than ten romance novels not by nicholas sparks

  • I'm not against any genre. If you can write a good romance story that is evocative, clever and compels the reader, by all means take your rewards. It's been done before, I've read great romance stories.

    But as for stuff like 50 Shades... come on. Skinamax level porn writing (or Wattpad level, i should say) is what it is and I'm not going to lie and say bad writing is good just because it sells. A lot of good porn is bad writing, so have your own award show. Sasha Gray never won an Oscar.

  • "yet it is purposely excluded from literary festivals and awards"


    "and have varying levels of sensuality — ranging from sweet to extremely hot"

    You pretty much answered it yourself. Romance novels - as @MrOracle said already - are often times pretty much female porn since women have different sensual and sexual cues than men have.

    Is male porn looked down at in the public eye? Yes. So those steam romance novels are as well - and that's what most people equate them with.

    They key part though is: Do you have to care? No. Read it and enjoy it. Its no ones business.

    • No that would be erotica because the purpose is not to get off. Romance novels are multifaceted.

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    • There are plenty of non romantic books and movies with plenty of explicit scenes in them. Sexual violence like in George RR Martin's novels are okay but an expression of love isn't.

    • Which romance novels are you referring to anyway? The physical chemistry is just one aspect of a romantic relationship and relationship development.

  • You lost me when you mentioned jezebel as a source.

    • The jezebel mentions the harlequin's history in the most detail to me there are other sources of course.

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    • Undeserved. Though i think things like Danielle steel books and 50 shades, are basically porn, but from what i understand they all aren't like that.

    • Definitely undeserved all my favorite authors are amazing. The worlds have gotten so complex and the characters are awesome. I could talk about them forever.

  • Very well written. This must have taken you a nice slice of time.

    I do think romance novels often fill the same role as porn. The story elicits an emotional response and given the context of the novel, simply implying anything sexual... sex scenes are not required.

    Romance novels when compared to porn would fall into the category of "soft-core". Then you would have the more descriptive sexual works of romance fulfilling the same carnal desire as typical porn.

    That and 'erotic literature', which would fill the same desires as hardcore porn, is not to be confused with romance literature. There may be a sub-category of erotic romance literature, but if you were to go to a book store, it would be found under erotica instead of romance.

    • Yeah I spent a couple days making sure it was perfect. Some of my friends who are also romance readers look over it over for me. Again I do not like porn comparison because it takes away from the argument is it literature. Plus if someone wanted to read a romance novel just to jack off they would be pretty disappointed. The love scenes have to be relevant to the story and characters.

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    • No they haven't not even close.
      "The story elicits an emotional response and given the context of the novel, simply implying anything sexual... sex scenes are not required. Romance novels when compared to porn would fall into the category of "soft-core". "Then you would have the more descriptive sexual works of romance fulfilling the same carnal desire as typical porn." Following your logic anything with romance in it is soft-core porn. So anything with anything remotely sexually in it is comparable to porn. Dramas, Romantic Comedy, etc. I do not read romance in order to fulfill any form of "cardinal desire".

    • "So what has Romance not done that other genres of fiction have supposedly?" You never answered this question. You don't know the answer do you?

  • The argument that romance is porn rather than legitimate literature does not demonstrates how our society belittles things that are feminine. First of all there is porn in a lot of romance novels and you know it, and pointing out the exceptions that aren't doesn't change that fact.

    Secondly there is nothing wrong with porn. The fact that someone compares it to porn does not mean they are making fun of romance novels, or the people that read them. The word porn is not derogatory. When it is a guy, it is typically done out of his frustration about how he is expected to be tolerant of female forms of porn, but gets treated like a pervert for using male forms of porn.

    The third point I would like to make is that guys get the same types of arguments about the stuff we read all the time. Such as how guys are labeled as nerds and geeks for reading fantasy or science fiction. In fact comics are often addressing very important issues that our society faces. If this isn't sexist against men, then you can't fairly make the case that the same being done to women is any more sexist.

    Trying to make the claim that it is somehow more sexist against things women is pure bull. If books had to be rated like movies and games, and people could distinguish between a book about romance, and a book full of sex that calls itself a romance novel, then that would go a long away to separating the issues you are talking about. Then certain romance books would be suitable for literary festivals and awards.

    Currently there is too much porn being disguised as romance for people to draw a distinction between the two. While I don't have an issue with porn, many people do. You can't realistically condemn male versions of porn, and then allow female versions of porn to sneak in like that do to a lack of a rating system, and complain it is sexist when people hold them to that standard.

    • Wow. You don't even know what the definition of pornography is let alone the difference between Erotic Literature and Romance Novels. So much bullshit in one comment...
      It's amazing...

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    • Romance novels are not porn. I thought we already established that.

    • Romance novels are for adults so they do not need warnings. Kids watch anime which is why there are warning labels. Adults unlike children will read the summary before making a purchase.

  • Well... ok.

  • "Good romance novels tend to have the opposite effect by showing what a positive relationship can do."

    Yes but what percentage of romance novels are good and what percentage of them are bad?

    And which kind are girls idolizing more?

    The authors who make the bad ones won't be able to hear your answers, by the way, over the millions of dollars and self induced female ejaculate raining down on them.

    • "female ejaculate" LMAO
      There are a lot of good romance novels out there I have read well over 100 of them. It would help if the media actually cared about the good ones. It's really frustrating that the novels that get the most coverage tend to be the ones actual romance fans like the least. Then there would be more positive female ejaculation I guess.

What Girls Said 5

  • Very well written and though out myTake. Well done!

  • I love my romance novels they are one of the few things keeping me in the world

    • Uh, that's rather disconcerting but I'm glad you like them to.

  • Romance novels tend to give girls unrealistic expectations of relationships and of visions of men no real guy could measure up too much like guys who watch a lot of porn it can ruin your romantic love life. Just ask any long time single thirty year how many romance novels she reads in the bath and why she can't find a good man.

    • All the 30 somethings I know that read romance novels are happily married.

    • not if they are emotionally cheating with romance porn.

    • Wow. Emotionally cheating. That's a first. You assume you know what goes on in an individuals head when one is reading romance? When I read a romance I'm thinking about the characters both of them. I want their relationship to work out. I don't see how in any way that qualifies as "emotionally cheating". I don't know how it is with other women but frankly I don't think it's any of my business.

  • Thanks! It's great that you point out the awful stereotypes that romance novels enforce.

    My only issue with this article is your description of pornography. I'm not trying to change you, because we each have different values and interpretations of what's happening in porn, and that's fine.

    The majority of women enjoy being dominated to varying degrees. It can be exciting to some. Some males also want to be dominated by a female. It's part of a sexual fantasy, and romance is a fantasy genre. The difference between being dominated in real life and being dominated in a fantasy is that in a fantasy, the reader has absolute control. No matter how dominated their character is being, they decide what degradation their character (and by extension, themselves) are going through. In real life domination, the person has no say in this unless their role play has been carefully planned out with an understanding partner. Therefore, are you really being degraded if it's something you want? If someone is doing what you want, it's actually you overpowering them. They are actually your submissive if you are telling them to dominate you.

    In fantasy, anything that happened happened within an environment of extreme control, safety, and enjoyment of the author and the reader. We control our imaginations.

    Another way to look at it is the power women have over men. When a woman knows how to use her sexuality to manipulate a man, (although it might be wrong) she is in a very powerful position. She can make the man do whatever. If anyone, it's degrading to the man for not thinking clearer!

    But maybe I wasn't understanding your clearly. If you want to explain, go ahead.

    • That was just my opinion. I'm not attacking porn or taking a stance on it in anyway.

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    • Ohoooops I see you've already replied, lol let me read loool oops.
      Ohh okay, no I feel the same way about the foreplay stuff xD And I get it now, thanks! Sorry about prying, I just needed to know lol.

    • Okay. We're cool. lol

  • romance novel are cool when you have nothing to do you can read them


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