Some women have asked the question why when they meet a guy they really care for, he seems too vague, doesn't express his feelings, haven't called back after sex, doesn't seem to care what she does, has no interest in meeting friends and family, will never text back on time or call back. In fact the only time he cares is when he wants something and most times it's sex...
As the author of this article ladies and gentlemen let me just say I have to give you a (Disclaimer). This material is not for the faint of heart, and I must tell you, I was both a Good Guy and definitely a Bad Boy…and although I was a Duff at one point, which was short, lived… I feel it is imperative to help you ladies out for a few articles since I mainly cater to Men’s general dating needs… First let’s understand the BAD BOY… Ready? Follow me….
Do You Have a Player?
Ask yourself these questions and see if you qualify…
1) Was his past relationships short? 3 months max!
2) Will he commit to dates in the future? He is the definite maybe guy!
3) Is he unclear or vague with the way he speaks? He can never give you a strait answer, or answer at all, it’s like he’s a politician.
4) Will he talk about introducing you to his parents? Never brings this up, not even to meet his dog!
5) Is he highly sexually active, as if that’s all he wants to do? Men like sex, but If this is all he talks about, with you, or you find yourself on your back everytime your with him instead of actually sharing a milk shake…then red flag this one!
6) Is he firm on the no titles clause, i.e. Baby Cakes, Beautiful, Sugar Dumpling? (LMAO!) Bad Boys never use these terms…I never called anybody baby cakes, until my current relationship, cause I actually like her.
7) Will he never use the L word? Sensitive area open to interpretation, but after at least 3 months if it doesn’t sneak up, then the force was not strong with you!
8) Does he hangout all the time mostly without you, and very busy? You are the booty call after he has hung out with his friends, or he didn’t find another chick at the bar to take home with him.
9) Does he encourage you to date others? Yes, Bad Boys encourage you to date others because he is not sure about you…It gives him an easy exit when he decides your services are no longer needed.
10) Does he call or Text much? If no it is not necessarily a bad thing if he is making an effort to make dates to see you. However, if he only text you when he wants something...chances are he is a player or married!
If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you got yourself a Player!
Psychology of the Darkside:
Only at the end do you realize the power of the Dark Side.
Most Bad Boys were developed since birth; those who were like me, shaped into a Good GUY first then was Seduced to the Dark Side of the force, Became a Bad Boy... out of developing a natural instinct for survival (which we will discuss later.)
Special note: I am back to the Good Guy now, hence the article (smile) (sorry fellas;-)
….Bad boy traits comes in a wide variety of behavioral schemes; from sneaky, blatant, abusive, and reluctant….However, one trait is for certain, they have a hard time committing to one girl, or any girl at all. Can you see where the word commitment continues to pop up?
Now I am not saying if a man does not choose to commit he is automatically bad.
However, there could be a few reasons why commitment is not an option for him, for example: Homosexuality( or down low guy) the in the closet brother who likes going both ways,
The Polyamorous subject, which studies show there are people who desire love and intimacy with a variety of people; and last but not least...
The Commitment Phobe: commitment just doesn’t suit him. He feels as if he commits to one he is missing out on something better that will quench his thirst to finding the Holy Grail of Sex
B.F. Skinner was a Psychologist a Behavioral Scientist if you will, who is best known for his Operant Conditioning theory believed that human behavior is conditioned by the cause and effect of a person’s internal actions that shape his or her environment. Simply put if a person’s is exposed to the same thing and the effect of it is reinforced, then behavior is repeated.
Bad Boyz have been shaped since he was a little boy. His mind is molded to think about his ideal of women from what he understands, based on what information he was fed growing up. Conditions like a mother, who could have been too loving and not stern enough, who allowed her son to believe that he was on equal footing with an adult. To a boy who’s father showed no regard for love, disrespected his wife, wives or girlfriends, and exposed his son to older women early. This boy developed into a man fast and instantly has no fear of women. So naturally he is comfortable with them. The Bad Boy can read women, he knows what type of girl you are, if you are eager beaver, to the I am woman hear me roar, or the I am pretty but very self conscious…just to name a few…in retrospect Bad Boy only see’s them as expendable pleasures.
Why He Won’t Commit?
The Darkside is not stronger, but faster!- Master Yoda
Most men would not tell you this, but the reason you found yourself confused as to why he never returned your call after you let him have the cookie is because (He Was Not In To You).
As a woman you have underestimated this BAD-BOYS interest level, and motives. He won’t commit because in his mind you are not what he really wants. Men are visual in nature, we respond like dogs seeing other dogs walking by, HE gets excited at most of the skirts that walk by, BAD BOYS will entertain the thought of a relationship to get what HE wants, and that want is SEX.
(Disclaimer) Regardless of how you feel as a woman, most Bad Boyz and Good Guyz as well want the physical, why? Because this is how men equate the action of love. It test the boundary factor to see what she is willing to do, it also levels the gauge and lets the guy know where he stand in the order of things....The difference between the Bad Boyz and Good Guyz is one may push for sex as the other would let it just happen, can you determine which one?
Sex is the dominance of taking a prize he has hunted for, showing her he can be better than any other you have ever had. This is not a bad assumption! This is honest! Sex is not bad; it’s just when you use sex as a weapon or a prize that makes it uncouth. In fact women want it as much as we do, but most women go about it a little differently, especially when their heart is really involved. The exception is those woman who thinks like a man and only want the smash factor and calls upon what you young people call (The Fuck BoyZ.)
BAD BOYZ HUNT!
Some would consider the powers of the Darkside to be unnatural- Darth Sidious
Bad boys are natural hunters, they only care about the sex, not you as an individual, and if you get involved with a HIM it is not his fault because women, you guys instinctively feel this in your gut, you know he wants sex, by the way he speaks, the way he touches you, his persistence….
Story Time (This is an example of how a Bad Boy would operate)
“ Jessica, what you doing to me?” He says as he holds her tightly.
She can feel his strong arms comfort her in ways she desired. He smelled good, the citrus aroma of his cologne made her weak. She felt safe in his arms and her desire for him increased as her legs began to quiver. He pressed against her, and she could feel the imprint of his manhood against her stomach. She smiled happily, because this gorgeous man wanted her. He made her feel like she was the most beautiful girl in the world. His soft words resonated in her heart, and echoed in her head.
“John, what do you mean?” She asked coyly.
“Lets go to my place and rearrange some furniture; It needs a woman’s touch.” He said, with a raised brow and a smirk upon his face. His warm eyes gazed deep into her own with out veering off in shame.
It was his confident tone and his swagger, that made her believe she could follow him anywhere. She followed him, and agreed despite her reluctant feelings. Unclear about what he meant, or wanted she got in her car and followed him feeling nervous, but too curious to tell him no. She did not want to loose him. She felt if she would give him what he wants she could keep him and coerce him into liking her or even loving her…
They arrived at his place. He asked no questions, didn’t say much. He opened her car door, and grabbed her hand, as she stepped out the car. His soft touch gave her a chill and once more a warm kiss to the nape of her neck, comforted her wildly. He could feel her heart race and he loved this as his cool breath upon her skin made her shiver and clutch his arms. The rain of her cloud soaked her in places she would be embarrassed to mention, and at this moment she was lost in her own desire. He opened the door and led her by hand into his layer, and with a firm grab of her face he….
(I will finish the scenario next week with part II….I promise when we talk more about the Bad Boy and Start on the nomenclature of the Good Guy... Then you can choose which guy suits you best.)
GAGites, I want to stop here because the article is too long and I will have to break it up into a three parter…I know, I am sorry, but I have a flare for the theatrics and besides I want you to come back and visit me again.
In conclusion, Bad Boys unlike Good Guys which we will touch on in the next article have a hard time committing, but they are fun! They are not afraid to mix things up, and will give you a challenge. Remember he has been conditioned in some way to be like this to change him will be the wrong thing to do; he needs to change on his own… I did, I changed because I got older, and tired of not being able to share my life…There was still good in me, and she felt it!!!! May the Force be with you!
Thank you GAG family, for reading my articles. If you like this , please follow me, and check out my profile where you can find more of these type of myTakes. Happy reading!!!