Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

CherryRoseChampange

Shout out to the Anon who made the take "Why I'm Attracted To The Bad Guys." It gave me the idea to write this take in response. Click below if you want to check her take out.

Here's the link: Why I'm attracted to the bad guys

Now let's get into MyTake:

Sorry for any mistakes in grammar and etc. I was tired when I wrote this
Sorry for any mistakes in grammar and etc. I was tired when I wrote this

Before I Go Further, I Used To Think Bad Was Attractive Too...

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

I had a difficult life growing up and during my early life I really didn't love myself. I was in a lot of pain and rage. It wasn't till more into my late teen years I had developed my own love and self worth. By that time it was too late. I was used to fucked up guys and although I demanded better treatment from relationships I thought I was too broken for something good. Even If I had spent so much time repairing and building myself. I felt the scars would never go away and anyone with a good heart deserved someone better than me.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

I wanted someone with issues like me so I felt better about myself. I brushed it off as anyone good wouldn't be able to handle me anyway. They'd break or leave me because they were weak. So I found shelter in not getting too attached in relationships. In reality I was weak one.

TRUST ME, once you get a good one, there's nothing like it. I'll explain later.

Once You Learn The Difference Between The Three It'll Stick Out Forever

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Here are my personal definitions of the three:

The Bad Guy -

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Are guys stuck in a negative stage in their life. They still carry their scars with them and they use them as their armor for the outside world.

Whatever torments them at night they wear it out in their lives with their actions and sometimes their appearance (Consciously or subconsciously they do).

Unfortunately, those in this stage will end up being toxic to those around them until they mature out of it into a better place.


Many girls think they can change or make a bad guy behave with making them pussy whipped /fall for them.

Please, do not think this, it's popular in romance novels where the bad boy falls for the girl and changes to a "nice" bad boy. Oh, did I forget to mention the guy just so happens to have undeniable looks, a billion dollars, tattoos, and works for a mafia?

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Yeah no, don't fall for it, hun. People have to change for themselves. Never settle on the hopes someone will change. Don't get lost in infatuation with someone toxic. If a guy is shitty, he doesn't need you to love him into a better man. He needs a therapist and to change his life for himself.

The "Nice" Guy -

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Nice guys are the guys who go out their way to give you everything they think you want. They listen, buy you things, compliment you, comfort you in your time of need when that bad guy is shitting on you. They are the ones you can invite them over for a movie night when you need a shoulder to cry on or- wait did he just pull out his dick?

Oh no, and don't you DARE deny him. If you do, suddenly you're this cat-

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

According to them they haven't done all of this for no reason. They want something for all the stuff they've been giving to you. You owe them, after all, they didn't have to be so nice.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Never go for anyone who's being nice to you because they want something in return. It should be genuine because they REALLY ARE a nice person in general. IF you see this happening, don't indulge or cater to it either. That makes it worse.

The Good Guy (Aka A Human Male That's Not Shitty)-

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

This guy is a genuinely decent guy.

He comes in all shapes and sizes and he respects you as a person. Not only that but he does what he wants when he wants to and is picky about his inner circle and love life. While his personality traits and interests will differ. Above anything he will be a healthy individual.

Yes, love, he will have his own issues with him too

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

But most people don't go through life unscathed. The way he'll deal with his issues will be the big difference. He'll be honest and communicate when he has a problem. Seek to confide in you when he needs someone for comfort or support. Tell you how he's feeling, what his boundaries are, and what he wants/is looking for in his life right now. And if that matches with you.

He'll be the one you can share your complete self with, no matter what good, bad, or weird things yourself you carry. If you guys are good for one another, it's those things that will make you bond more than anything.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

You'll be able to see yourself truly investing your life into him and vice versa. You'll challenge one another will always want to be better people for each other. You'll feel like a team together. No, good guys aren't perfect but they give everyday their best .

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

In Conclusion, Once You Get A Good Guy, It's Likely You'll Never Want Anything Else

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Everything about it is just different. The respect level, intensity, and so on.

When I was finally in a healthy stage to have a relationship, I got lucky and was able to get a good man who loved me for me. Everyday he's shown me a new and stronger way to love someone. I kid you not, he's my BEST friend in the whole world and my man at the same time.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

I tell him everything. I support him through anything and vice versa. I can't imagine ever going back to something where I didn't it wasn't so close. He's a breath of fresh air. Even when he gets on my damn nerves and we argue like an old couple. It isn't the same. Our tones, how we address one another, and so on.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Our goal is to come to a common ground and be happy again. We aren't fighting for the hell of it. There hasn't been a day in 5 years we've went to sleep angry with each other. I feel like a queen everyday lmao. So yeah, I'll say it. Good guys are the fucking best and I wouldn't want anything else lol.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys

Thanks for reading or dropping in whether you liked my take or not! Take care! Here's a song just because I feel like it fits my emotions on this topic.

Why I Prefer A Good Guy Over Bad Guys And Nice Guys
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Most Helpful Guy

  • SomeGuyCalledTom

    Good take.

    Only thing I'd add is that 'Nice Guys' fall into two subcategories: the benign nkce guy and the hostile nice guy.

    1) BENIGN Nice Guy--

    He likes you but he's insecure in himself and unsure of how to show romantic interest. He wants to save face and avoid rejection. Yet he yearns for a romance that he doesn't believe himself competent enough to initiate.

    I know this nice guy because I kinda was him when i was younger and inexperienced. But with self-work and my first real relationship I became more of the Good Guy you describe.

    The benign nice guy means no harm, and he doesn't get pissy or "school-shooter-ish" or "stalker mode" when rejected by a girl. Rather, if his efforts to woo her go "unrewarded", he'll likely chalk it up to his own personal failings or lack of charisma or whatever. His shortfall lies in his anxiety and lack of self belief. He just needs a mentor to inspire and guide him, and maybe some female friends to get honest feedback from the opposite gender. (Befriending girls in sixth form helped teenage me get a foothold over my social anxiety, which paved the way for approaching girls with more flirtatious intent)

    2) Hostile 'Nice Guy'

    Basically as you described: he's nice until a girl turns him down, or fades out from non-interest in him romantically. Whereas the benign nice guy only hurts himself with anxiety, the hostile nice guy turns that anxiety outwards, manifested in a darker more malicious form. I need say no more-- every woman knows at least one of these guys. But most women never really consider the benign nice guy as a separate entity from the hostile nice guy. Either the benign nice guy isn't even on a girl's radar to begin with... or she mistakes his nice guy ways as a sign of impending hostility. In reality, he will be polite and even noble in the face of rejection. But afterwards he'll go home and cry alone at night because he can't bare the anxiety crushing down all around him. Meanwhile the hostile nice guy goes on incel forums and complains on GaG about "these fucking whores who ignore me and only go for the bad boys".

    LikeDisagree 8 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • I agree, good addition to the take. I appreciate you sharing 💖💕

    • Sure 😊

    • Socialist

      You just 100% described me in the BENIGN Nice Guy paragraph.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • PinkGraffiti

    I really related to the part where you said, “I brushed it off as anyone good wouldn’t be able to handle me anyway. They’d break or leave me because they were weak.” I’ve dated older men for years. And I’m in a relationship with and older guy but debating on leaving. I wanted a future with someone, but he just can’t give it to me. He’s 55, me 32. I had an epiphany, that’s I was robbing myself dating these older guys. Why tho? Goes back to your statement. I felt dating guys my ages wouldn’t find me as attractive. Or as you cleverly stated, “they wouldn’t me able to handle me”. I always felt older men had been though more so they COULD handle me. So this whole thing really hits home and resonates with me. Thank you so much for posting. Hope I get a guy like yours. ❤︎

    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • btbc92

    👏👏👏 now if nobody understand any difference between these three, they need to go back to elementary school. Well done. No excuses people. Somebody did to work for you.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
  • MrOracle

    I just wrote a post on this subject (as a reply to someone's question) that might be relevant:

    Nice guys finish last... ?

    Like 2 People
    Reply
    • Interesting reply to that persons question. I enjoyed it. 💕💖 Thanks for sharing

    • MrOracle

      You're welcome, and I'm happy that you've found a good guy and a healthy relationship. They can be a real bitch to find, and you often have to slog through a lot of crap and hassle and pain to get there, but when you succeed, it's easily worth the work and effort it took to get there.

  • CarpetDenim

    This is an interesting perspective. I’m sorry you had to go through your fair share of bad guys to realize you were deserving of better and that a genuinely good man is where it’s at, but I’m glad you’ve been able to get through the tough times and grow as a person. Good Take.

    Like 2 People
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  • Anastacia1989

    Nice guys always expect something in return and are usually manipulative I find from my personal experiences...

    and bad boys are pretty toxic... can be on the abusive side as well... they’re the kinds that do lots of trouble behind the scenes I find... alcohol and drugs, etc...

    now whats your opinion on mamas boys?

    Like 1 Person
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    • I don't mind them as long as they aren't the extreme kind. I don't like feeling like I have to compete for my space in his life. If I keep getting comparisons to his mother or feeling disrespected by her or him due to her, I'm just going to leave. That shits annoying.

  • Socialist

    Am I a "Nice Guy"?
    I am always friendly, help the person in need, I listen to her, give compliments. But I don't really want something in return, hmm okay well maybe. I would just like to have a relationship. Is that wrong?

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
    • If you're only being nice because you want something and not to be nice because you are a genuine nice person.

      In essence, yes you are a nice guy. You're just not the aggressive type if you don't become upset when you don't get what you want.

      If you just want a relationship but you're nice to people because you like being nice. Then you're a good guy. You would just like love like everyone else though.

    • joojoojoo

      It is okay to be attracted to someone (want something from them ;)) and you're a good person if you like helping people!

      I think what your problem is is a lack of dating experience which is normal at 18 :)

      To be frank I only started dating with online dating so im a little short on advice for approaching irl but in general it is smart to subtly make your intention clear by flirting. Friendzone has a terrible reputation for good reason but there is some merit to it imo:
      If you dont have chemistry with a girl but you keep persuing she will (at best) be your friend ;)

    • @joojoojoo I agree with you. @Socialist If you make your intentions clear at the beginning it definitely clears up a lot of that.

      The girl can decide what she wants to do with that information, respond how she sees fit. And you can take her response and go from there. Communication is always key

  • iohannes

    I'm not sure if I would call myself the good guy or the nice guy...

    So I'm in a relationship
    I have been described as extremely easy going, to which I agree, and I know I'd go to pretty great lengths to help people out or make them feel better about themselves or to give advice etc.. It has been to the degree that I've actually had to learn that I have to pick my moment for when to be nice and helpful to people, since I can't always try to please everyone or make everyone happy. And I don't feel I've ever asked or even expected in return.
    This however comes with one exception.. In my current relationship I know I always go out of my way to understand what's going on, communicate how I feel and also try to listen and improve based on the feedback we get...
    But I have come to realize that I don't feel like she is ever ready to try and take my complaints seriously.. It's like she isn't ready to make compromises or changes (nothing major of course, id never ask her to change for me) unless it fits her

    So what im asking is... does expecting this effort to prioritize one another - expecting her to be able to prioritize me
    does it make me a "nice guy" or well a selfish asshole?

    Reply
  • MannMitAntworten

    My girlfriend went through the typical litany of men women go through in life. Some get through it to realize what is and what is not important. Same with men. We both went through a litany of individuals who gave us a better perspective of what matters and how to better recognize a remarkable individual when we happen upon them. We both knew early one that we found a fit in one another. Sure, we have our past and our scars, and even our idiosyncrasies... but... not one damn bit of any of that cast a single shadow over our bond. She is my best friend. She my confidant. She is my lover, my laughter, the strength where I am weak. I adore her quirks that makes me smile because they are uniquely her’s. She is the light when it is dark. I can go on... thing is, I am all these things and others for her, too. I know what I have in her, and by Jove that only makes me try harder for both of us. There is a lot to be said for finding that one who brings out all that is best in you whilst removing all that is base. We do that for each other.

    Thoughtful My Take.

    Like 2 People
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  • Walt832

    I am the one on the first picture having a reminder. Honestly Google calendar is packed with customers next visit and family bday. I don't have a girlfriend but when I did I use to do that. We broke up because other reasons and glad we did I have more free time and focus on my business more.

    Like 2 People
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  • worldscolide

    Oh i get where you're coming from. Most of the time a man that vocally claims to be a "nice guy" is anything but. More than likely he is a guy that can't get laid, and feels like women owe them something.

    Like 4 People
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  • el_Te_de_la_Rosa

    Very good take.

    I'm never attracted to bad boys, and have tried to understand why many girls do. Plus, why many men think they would better be a bad boy rather than a good gentleman. Some treated me with rudeness and thought it's hot, expecting me to be interested. Haha. No.

    Anybody can improve. Set higher goals and work towards them. Self-esteem is a key. Well, many people confuse it with false confidence. They "think" they're good, but the truth is the opposite. This could be why Nice Guys exist. I think we ladies need to express our standards as well. Ie. How to behave to women (and women to men), and show what love should be like, neither infatuation nor greed. The most important thing is do not do something nice if you "expect" something in return.

    I really would like to share your take and translate for my boys. Could I?

    LikeDisagree 2 People
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  • FýrdracaDócincel

    "They'd break or leave me because they were weak." I didn't read past this point. So you're telling me that if someone breaks you it's because THEY are weak? No, princess, it's because YOU are. You brods will come up with any excuse.

    Disagree 5 People
    Reply
    • Wow, it's very apparent you didn't read past that point. A few sentences in and you wouldn't be looking foolish for repeating my words.

    • No shit it's apparent because I just told you. 😑

    • I literally said In mytake "In reality I was the weak one." Try reading another sentence down.

    • Show All
  • Historylover18

    This is what I have been saying for years. I would even say to stop saying they're "nice guys" because they're not nice if they're not doing it out of genuine care. Just call them what they are. "Manipulators". The real nice guy is the one who is nice for the purposes of common decency and nothing more

    Like 2 People
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    • joojoojoo

      I agree but labeling people as manipulative is difficult. In a way we're all just here for the give and take and everyone wants something in life and should try to persue that. E. g.: im not manipulative if I ask someone to help me with something but im "making them" do me a favor. in my opinion the "problem" with nice guys is a lack of dating/social skill and confidence. They will portrait the most basic unhatable image of themselves by doing favors and just always being "nice" and hide their true self to a lack of confidence. But they don't realise if the girl is not into them and do not know how to make a girl interested which results in frustration.

  • crazy8000

    If you want quality you need to be quality yourself 😉

    Like 3 People
    Reply
    • I agree, in fact it's what I expressed in mytake.

    • crazy8000

      To many put themselves on a pedestal of some perfect being and thing's they are entitled to anyone they choose.

    • crazy8000

      Very amusing phenomenon amongst females.
      They that whines about bad boys/blayers/nice guy's/good guy's rarely has any quality to come with for what they are after.

    • Show All
  • G3tAClue

    Good guys are generally nice people to everyone. I’ve had my fair share of the nice guy who just wants into my pants and I have no interest in bad guys.

    Like 1 Person
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  • archiz

    Yea I agree with your take and this can be applied to girls too.
    I love my girlfriend but she has a lot of issues to deal with before getting involved with someone.
    She is not a bad person though.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
  • JohnAlaska43

    Im a good guy as well I treat my partner with the utmost respect.
    Im very loyal to my S/O. Love telling my S/O everything. Just not into gossip or talking about exs. Exs have no place in the relationship.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
  • elieg

    So there are girls who are attracted to bad guys because she can secretly go to their house and have gangbang sessions etc. While this nice/good guy can't get the girl he wants because he is a good guy and inexperienced. After some years the same girl realises oh she needs to get secured so she finds this nice guy, she conceals to him who she was so she plays him and he falls for her and wanna marry her. And he doesn't know what a slut/whore she was. She they get into a relationship, later on they have kids and she goes around and cheats on him because she is used to weekly gangbamg. Who are the victims here? both The man and the kids. So a girl/woman have to learn to have dignity and a man have to learn not be fooled. When woman become ruthless she becomes 100% but a cruel man can differ from 0 to 80%. by the way this is Islamic source I read one day I can't remember the name of the book but it's TRUE and I love it.

    LikeDisagree 9 People
    Reply
    • Yeah and a "good guy" always has to worry about the paternity of "his" children. "It's mommy's baby and daddy's maybe".

    • elieg

      Yeh, very unfair!

    • Wow, this is really sad to read. What you described is nothing like what most girls go through. In fact, in my own situation.

      I was a virgin throughout all my relationships. I didn't do anything sex related till I got with the love of my life. Not every woman is the same and different women have their reasons for stuff.

      Stop assuming the women is a slut or a cheater just because she is attracted to "bad guys." Most times it's because she desires to have excitement, feel special, be understood and feel protected in life. A bad guy is just the wrong place to look. This post is extremely rude and disappointing.

    • Show All
  • theCobbler

    Are You Single? I'm , one of Those
    "Good Guys" ! ! ? ...
    All kidding aside, Amen! I Truly believe , it's all About learning, the lesson , and continued testing until Learned ,,,, ?
    Youd better starting writing a book, ? I see a " Bestseller " 🙏😊😎
    Awesome, I hope everyone reads this ,

    My take:
    Nice guys are the
    " wolves in sheep's clothing "...
    Bad guys are wolves dressed as Wolves & the
    " Good Guys " ... are scared & bloody , trying to help keep the Peace!

    Like 2 People
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  • alligatorblues

    The thing is, I don't think this posst iss honest. . It soundsnlike platitudes and highlights, not experience. I tried to talk about feelings qith a girl onc3, and she said, "Imdon't need anothher girlfriend! I want a guy who who has a pulse, who wants to get in my pants! Doesn't mean you will. But I wonder about myself when you don't even try. And if your going to style my hair and arrange a bouquet.

    Reply
  • Anoniemus

    I disagree with the definitions. For me, nice is synonymous with good. What you've described as "nice" I would see as a manipulative asshole: in essence, a bad guy.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
    • While true the term is meant to be ironic. The words: "nice guy" comes from these types of people complaining online by describing themselves as such.

    • Anoniemus

      @dashyguydotcom The issue isn’t that some people take such use of words as the literal meanings. That’s why I don’t think they should be used as such.

    • Valid argument and i agree with your view aswell.

    • Show All
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