The "Nice Guy' vs. The "Bad Boy"

[Anonymous]

Before I begin my Take, I would like to to give you some insight on who I am, just so you understand where I am coming from and what my issue is.

First off, I am 25 years of age. I am a little more on the quiet side and I like to stay low-key. I have friends, but I only keep a very small circle of friends; friends who are looking to be successful in life and want the best. HOWEVER, I can talk and carry great conversations when the mood strikes me. While I enjoy going out and doing things, you can find me spending time at the bookstore, at home writing or even at the gym working out.

I am into fashion, and my style is more like this:

I love going out, looking nice and making an impression. Every time I go out, I always have people telling me that I look like a model or they typically ask me where I get my clothes at. It's always nice to hear things like that.

When I am talking to people, the first thing they notice from me and compliment me on, besides my fashion and looks, is how intelligent, articulate and proper I talk. Everyone always compliments me on my intellect and manners and people know that I am someone they can depend on.

That's a little bit about me. Now, let's dive into the essence of this take.

The Nice Guy:

I consider myself a "nice guy". When I meet women I am interested in, I am not looking for sex. When I go out on dates with women, I am looking for women that I can connect with and that I can have a real relationship with down the road.

When I meet a woman and get to know her, I like to take her on a romantic date. I live in New York City... so for me, I like to get dressed up, take a girl out to a restaurant and get to know her a bit and then walk around Central Park, talk some more and site see.

I am the type of man that picks up his date, holds doors open for her and pay for the date. I believe in chivalry, and I like to treat my woman and make her feel special. That is important to me and that is how I was raised.

I cannot tell you how many dates I have been on with women over the past few months. It would seem that everything would go smoothly during the dates... but after the first date, the woman would drop off the face of the Earth. I know this has happened to many guy, and we are often left wondering what happened during the date that could make the girl not want to talk to us ever again. Well, I got my answer.

About 3 weeks ago, I met this 35 year old woman and took her on a date. Again... just a standard date to get to know her (food & walk around the park). We seemed to click, hit off pretty well and I felt like we had a lot in common. During the date, we also shared a few kisses. Seemed like a pretty good date overall! Of course, after the date, when I tried contacting her again, she didn't reply.

Apparently, my best friend actually knew this girl and was friends with her friend. So, as a favor for me, he asked her friend to figure out why she didn't want to see me again... and I got my answer. The girl told her friend that I was a very "nice guy", was chivalrous and had a lot going for myself. However, she was not attracted to me because I was "too smart", I "knew too much" and because I told her that my goal in life was to create a cartoon series and comic book series that will help motivate kids to do better in life. I mean, that sounds like a good goal, right? Not to her. She thought that my interest in writing cartoons and comics was "Steve Irkel nerdy" and, as a result, she thought I was manly and told her friend that I was too timid and a "loser". She told her friend that she needed a manly-man, with manly hobbies and a man who had bigger muscles. She told her friend it was a nice date, but I am not her type.

On all the dates I have been going on in the past... women would always stop talking to me after the first date... and now I had some answers as to why this was happening. After that date, I decided to change my approach on women and dating slightly.

_________________________________________________

The Bad Boy:

After all of my failed dates, I started approaching women differently in the streets and talking to them differently. Not because I was "butt hurt", but because I wanted to see what would happen when I change my tone with women.

Whenever I saw a woman in the street, instead of casually talking to her, getting her number, chatting her up more and then going on a date... I decided to do a new approach:

1. See cute woman in the street

2. Approach her

3. Instantly tell her that I think she looks sexy and put my hand on her waist

4. Ask her if she likes guys with nice pecks (chest muscles), for example

5. Wait till she comments on my chest muscles

6. Comment back on her chest

7. Get get number

8. Keep the sexual tone going through text and phone calls

When I went this route, instead of going out on dates with women, I noticed that they just wanted to fuck me. It seems that when I was nice to women in the beginning, tried to get to know them, etc., they wanted nothing to do with me after the date. However... when I acted aggressively, sexually and kept that tone throughout our interaction, they wanted me.

I tried that approach for a week, racked up a lot of numbers and I have been having sex with a different woman each day this week. I have also had sex with 2 different women on the same day.

I have stopped doing this, because I am not looking for sex and I would rather meet a woman that I can connect with and get to know on a personal level.

_________________________________________________

My Conclusion:

I am not trying to put down women or shame them at all. However, I always hear women complaining and asking, "where are all the good men?"... or "why can't I find a nice guy?"

In my defense... I do consider myself a nice guy and I do want to meet a woman that I can respect, has respect for me, I can connect with and grow with.

However... if you read these 2 scenarios above, it seems that women are more interested in casual sex, just as much as men, rather than trying to settle down a find a proper person.

When I was nice to women, showed the my true personality, expressed my goals and desires with them and tried to get to know them on a deeper level, I would always get pushed aside.

When I was raw with women, sexual and aggressive... they welcomed it, relished it and wanted to have sex with me... I didn't even have to get to know them.

As a man, I feel like it is much easier for me to get sex out of women than it is to get a second date with them.

[Rohan2]

I am from New York too
And the type of girls that live here are just looking to have fun
Most want to have casual sex with a hot guy or a guy that can offer them something

Finding a girlfriend that actually cares about you, seems to be near impossibile for some reason. This past month I have been on many dates, and like you said, being nice does not get you a 2nd date

I find that being aggressive and ballsy draws them in, and slowly you can start showing the real you.

Girls have become like "guys" they just want to fuck a bunch of people they find hot

[myTake Owner]

This guy gets it.

[Rohan2]

Best MyTake I have read

[lumos]

Lmfao if a strange guy in the street so much as tried to touch my waist I'd dropkick him to the fucking ground and pepper spray his asshole so hard he wouldn't be able to shit for a month.

[LouisvilleGirl826]

I just spit out my drink LMAO

[redeyemindtricks]

Right? I'd have no problem making him have a period... from his nose

[rjroy3]

Luckily for him, most women don't have that hang-up lol

[CBryan]

I'm sure that doesn't apply to every stranger...

[Anime_trash]

OMG I'm trying hard not to crack up laughing!

[Ksjsg]

You are nasty. No moral woman would touch a stranger's assole. The way you talk is nasty. Shame on you.

[rjroy3]

@Ksjsg technically, she just said pepper spray. No actual touching lol

[Ksjsg]

@rjroy3 still wanting to do anything with his ass shows she has no class

[rjroy3]

@Ksjsg or she just has a thing for butts xD

[Ksjsg]

@rjroy3 with guys who she hates on?

[rjroy3]

@Ksjsg didn't say it made sense lol. Anyways, let's stop blowing up her notifications

[lumos]

@Ksjsg lmao chill

[thesunstillshines9]

Lmao same

[Madara10]

ha! yea right. that's what they all say. Irl y'all really don't have the balls to do it. easy for you to sit behind GirlsAskGuys and type furiously

[rjroy3]

@Madara10 to be fair. That's most people that talk about physical confrontation. Like the guys who proactively say, "I would slap the shit out of you in real life"

[lumos]

@Madara10 turn on your location

[redeyemindtricks]

@Madara10 "ha! yea right. that's what they all say."

^^ uhhm well
... sooooooo actually

of the 20 pink comments on this q, hers is the ONLY one that says anything even remotely like this.
(the only other comment addressing the idea of retaliation... is talking about retaliating with court papers, not violence.)

so yeah, 1 out of 20 = "that's what they all say"?
into the penalty box for you bud

[Madara10]

@redeyemindtricks Jesus H Christ that was clearly an expression "ma'am". Don't even know if I should call you that because if you're really 42 years of age I don't think I would have to explain this to you. No offense.

[Madara10]

Haha You turn on your location so I can save you the stress of traveling and still rock yo shit.

[Madara10]

Just kidding

[lumos]

@Madara10 nice joke

[Madara10]

Thanks. lol not that I would touch a random girl's waist in public, but I wish a girl like you WOULD try to "dRoPKIck Me ANd PEppeR SpRAy My ASShoLE" lol that's the day you'll realize not all guys feel pain when kicked in the balls.

[lumos]

@Madara10 do you even know what a dropkick is? It certainly isn't anywhere close to the balls.

[Nothanks700]

lol. Wow this take is full of a lot of shit. I'm guessing the women you date can also very easily see through your shit.

Your problem is, Mr. Intellect. That those things people keep "complimenting" you on are more than likely things you have mentioned over the course of the conversation, and they want you to like them, even if they don't like you. I'm assuming you often talk about yourself, a lot, and it's usually with an air of superiority. I bet you say things like "people often compliment me on my intellect" in real life, which is fucking ridiculous. Unless you invent a rocket at a bar, people don't compliment other people on intellect upon meeting them, unless of course that person won't shut up about their intellect.

I'm assuming that when you go on dates, your favorite topic is yourself. You act overly chivelrous, and not because you're a nice guy, but because you are in fact looking for sex and you think opening doors will impress these women, and hopefully make up for your personality flaws.

Finnaly, the whole thing about you grabbing women on the street is called assault bud. I very seriously doubt women who are complete strangers to you just go "yeah go ahead and randomly put your hands on my waist" that's not a bad boy, it's a border lines rapist.

Look dude, you're probably a decent looking guy if you're getting dates. You probably do have decent fashion. But if you want more than one date, be confident, but lose the ridiculous ego. You probably are smart, but you're not Einstein, so for god sake just stop. You're probably a gentlemen, but Prince Charming is more creepy than charming in this day and age, so stop doing that too. Women are not helpless creatures, open a door, but you don't need to open every damn door. Be a normal person, not a freaking door man.

[sparkie101]

Well, dating around my area is MUCH different than a more populated area, but have you ever considered that you are going from one extreme to the next?

In one extreme you are being way too nice. I'm a nice person to, but I am nice on my own terms. I will not go out of my way to help someone unless for some reason I decide I want to.

Example: Girl on facebook stranded with her kids. Just a friend of mine. I go help her get her kids and car home. I was not doing anything and it was over 100F outside. No biggie, I was SUPER bored and was not doing anything.

Same girl messages me at 10PM wanting me to help her brother work on her car when I have work in the morning. I tell her no because I'm going to bed soon.

The difference there is that I don't do it because it is expected of me, it is completely situational.

Some guys are as you described at the second end of the scenario: "Hey look at my muscles, I think you are sexy blah blah blah." That is purely seduction. If the woman finds you attractive and is open to it, then sure she will want to have sex with you.

PEOPLE are open to casual sex in general. Who doesn't like to just get laid with no strings attached?

Why don't you try being nice, but at the same time sexual? I like this girl for X Y Z reason. Because of these reasons, I would like to sleep with her and move this into a physical connection.

Life is never black and white.

[lizziepooh03]

This is awesome.

I love that you did this.

My question to you is, of the women that you got as the "bad boy" would any of these women have been on your list of you wishing to date and get to know?

If there is some crossover from the women that you would choose to date as a good guy and the women that you got as a bad guy, my suggestion is to ask them their opinions of you as the nice guy and why they would or would not date you as the nice guy.

As for why this happens, I wish I had an answer for you. I don't. Preconceptions is what it really comes down to. As a nice guy, these girls perceive you as not manly or overly solicitous. As a bad guy, they obviously see you as attractive or they would not have slept with you.

If there was no crossover between who you would want to date and the women you got to sleep with you as the bad guy, then my suggestion is to do your next experiment and be the bad guy with the women you want to date and see what happens. If those women sleep with you, then you are onto something.

You may end up with someone that you want to be with. Who knows. Stranger things have happened.

But I appreciate hearing your experience even though the experience probably left you more confused than ever.

Good luck to you. :)

[Anonymous]

This MyTake just made me think of two unrelated people. Pretty Boy Flizzy (Fictional character and music artist) and Mary J Blige (real music artist).

Pretty Boy Flizzy: Women hate to be bored.

AND

Mary J Blige: Bad boys ain't no good, good boys ain't no fun.

So basically what I'm saying is you're boring asf and women hate to be bored and therefore do not want to date you. You literally said you take every woman on the same date to a restaurant and then the park. That sounds boring as hell to me. You wear a suit everyday? That sounds pretty boring. Although I'm pretty sure most of bad boy part of this Take was bs, the thing is a lot of women would rather sleep with someone who is passionate, spontaneous, and exciting than a boring nice guy. Being nice is not good enough. There are tons of nice guys on the planet. Women are people, and niceness isn't always enough to get to stick your dick in their vagina or for them to commit to you. If you wanna be liked by women then be nice, but also fun. That's why a lot of girls fall for the bad boys. Bad boys have the exciting qualities that most good guys lack.

[ScreechingPigeons]

That's also why a lot of women end up emotionally damaged and very bitter because they get their excitement and then get hurt in the process.

[Opinion Owner]

@ScreechingPigeons Oh well, that's there problem. There are also tons of girls on this planet that date and marry good guys that are also exciting. The key is to not be an extreme. Be good, but fun. Don't be a boring ordinary guy, and don't be a fun asshole.

[ScreechingPigeons]

That makes sense.

[myTake Owner]

You mentioned:
" You literally said you take every woman on the same date to a restaurant and then the park."

How does that qualify as "being boring"? It's a first date, and the girl doesn't know that I do that with other women as well. Do you expect me to take a woman bowling? Roller skating? Helicopter ride around the city? Fancy dinner where we dress up? Not happening. It's a first date. I want to sit down, talk and get to know you a bit, see what your hobbies and interest are before I start spicing things up.

[Opinion Owner]

But bowling and roller skating actually sound like an enjoyable date... I'm only saying that the date sounds boring from an outside perspective knowing that you routinely take women on dates to eat and then to the park.

[myTake Owner]

Roller skating, in my opinion is a crappy first date. Trust me... I tried it a few times. The roller skate rinks are always crowded and I cannot talk and get to know the girl because we are trying to concentrate on not falling and making sure we don't bump into people or the music is too loud and I cannot hear her.

[myTake Owner]

That is why coffee/drinks and a park is a good idea. It's very low pressure, you get to talk the entire time, see what the person is like, figure out what they are into and then you can build the second date upon shared interests or around something that she would enjoy.

[Opinion Owner]

How well has that been working out for you though?

[myTake Owner]

You mentioned:
"How well has that been working out for you though?"

How am I supposed to know? Lol. The main point of my take that I was trying to make is that it's harder to date women and easier to just fuck and leave them.

The dating situation is so bad... that there is this segment on the radio called "Date Fail". In that segment a man calls in (it is a guy 90% of the time) and tells the radio personality about a recent date he went on with a girl and the girl won't respond to his texts/calls.

I am not the only that this happens to. I know plenty of men that take women on dates, even craft together very interesting dates and the girl won't respond to text/calls.

Basically... it's easier to get laid than it is to get a decent date.

[Opinion Owner]

So clearly your tactic isn't working out very well. Just saying. Dating is difficult because most women have lots of guys approaching them at once and then they have to sort through all those guys and pick one. The ones that get rejected get ghosted. Welcome to 2016. Everything is quick, convenient, and efficient, even dating. Ghosting somebody is effortless and it gets the point across. Unfortunately you did not make the cut, so you get ghosted. Getting sex is easier because sex requires no commitment from either of you, and she can still ghost you afterwards. Women like sex too. So basically what I'm saying is women will have sex with you for the fun of it, but they won't date you for some reason. If you find out what that reason is and do something about it, then dating will be easier.

[myTake Owner]

As I said above... here is the reason:

" The girl told her friend that I was a very "nice guy", was chivalrous and had a lot going for myself. However, she was not attracted to me because I was "too smart", I "knew too much" and because I told her that my goal in life was to create a cartoon series and comic book series that will help motivate kids to do better in life. I mean, that sounds like a good goal, right? Not to her. She thought that my interest in writing cartoons and comics was "Steve Irkel nerdy" and, as a result, she thought I was manly and told her friend that I was too timid and a "loser". She told her friend that she needed a manly-man, with manly hobbies and a man who had bigger muscles"

[myTake Owner]

I'm not "fixing" myself to meet a woman''s standards, especially when there is nothing wrong with me.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok then good luck with dating then.

[Anonymous]

Well... I guess it depends on the kind of women you are looking for. If you continue your first approach and be yourself and not get discouraged by those women who left you after the first date, you might end up meeting a woman who likes the "nice guy" you are and she will be your partner for life.

My man is what you described as a "nice guy." He is a gentleman who values chivalry and truly enjoys treating women nicely. That is exactly the thing I liked about him. When first met, he told me that he, just like you, heard from his friends that some girls say that he is "too nice" and that they wouldn't go out with him. But to me, I couldn't understand this statement. In my eyes, he is just perfect and is everything I wished for in a man. He always makes me feel more feminine and treats me like a lady. So I told him to not change himself because one day he will meet a woman who really understands and appreciates what he does. We ended up being together and we want to get married and spend the rest of our life together.

That is why I want guys like you to not give up. There is someone out there who likes you the way you are and appreciates your hobbies and dreams and will support you to achieve them.

[Anonymous]

You did a really good job on this take. For someone to take a step back and look at the big picture, and decide on their next move, instead of crying like a baby and hurling abuse at all women, takes lots of courage, insight, intelligence, and confidence.
However, why go to either extreme? Why either be a 100% good boy, or a 100% bad boy? The human experience is all about balance. I know it's hard, and sounds unfair. But both genders face this challenge in their own version. Be a little bit of both, and I'm sure you'll be dating your dream girl shortly.
I will have to confess that this good boy/bad boy thing is a glitch in the female mind. I don't like it either. I do notice when a guy is pulling this one on me, and although I may want to sleep with him, on the inside I do not really respect him. But if he is a little bit of both, and I can feel that he really respects me, I would say he's hit it right on target.
By "bad boy" most of the times we mean a mixture of "romantic and exciting" which we usually get out of "keeping the sexual tone going" like you said, and showing "confidence" in their sexual approach. Aggressiveness, maybe in the later stages. So, romantic and exciting have different meanings to different girls. Sometimes it would be a good idea to test the waters or try to get a peek at what a certain girl finds romantic, and most important of all, EXCITING.
As women, we have to be both extremes in our relationships too. If we are too sexy, we will come off as slutty and be disrespected. If we are too proper and respectful, we will not get any attention from the opposite sex, etc. We have to be motherly, but not too protective. We have to be intimate, but not too clingy. It's pretty hard. And a lot of times, we also have to compete for the guy we love, with other females who don't fight fair.

[RedHood7]

" If we are too sexy, we will come off as slutty and be disrespected. If we are too proper and respectful, we will not get any attention from the opposite sex, etc. We have to be motherly, but not too protective. We have to be intimate, but not too clingy. It's pretty hard. And a lot of times, we also have to compete for the guy we love, with other females who don't fight fair."
It might sound ridiculous, but I know the feeling rather well. I struggle with that. Sometimes I come off as too clingy, when Im not, really. Sometimes I seem distant AF, when Im just chilling and keeping the good vibes. It's funny how we're all so picky when it comes to a partner's behavior. It seems so dumb when we look back. We always overthink stuff and try to find different meanings to it all, and we are so wrong, so many times...

[Browneye57]

"When I was nice to women, showed the my true personality, expressed my goals and desires with them and tried to get to know them on a deeper level, I would always get pushed aside."

Boring.

"When I was raw with women, sexual and aggressive... they welcomed it, relished it and wanted to have sex with me... I didn't even have to get to know them."

Exciting.

Women gotta get the tingles or they're not gonna want to pursue you. Vag-tingles baby, figure out how to do that you lay pipe.

The cool thing is, you can burn through a lot of them, which is good, because it helps refine your taste, and gives you experience. Then one day, low and behold, you'll meet one that is really worth spending more time with. And you'll know it. And she'll know you have options so she'll try a LOT harder.

I used to be just like you. But it took me a LOT longer to figure out what they really want. Unfortunately 80% of the guys have no clue and most of those couldn't pull it off even if they did.

Be sure to read at least the first two years' blogs of Rollo Tomassi here: www.therationalmale.com

Will explain a lot for you. Bitches ain't shit. :)

[longbeach225]

Good discussion and I have this problem too. I sometime feel like I'm too nice therefore suck with women (least in America). However, I have started online dating with international women and I message several women from Eastern Europe and been pretty good. I can be myself with ease. I message like hi my name is blah blah and point out what I found interesting in her profile. Some women don't reply but quite of few did and most were happy they got a message from me. I met a girl on there who is in Russia and she gave me her number and we talk on Viber. This is not to say Russian women are easy, by no means they are but they do open up and give you a chance and not judge based on nice guy vs bad boy. As a result I have found myself now on a quest to meet a Russian woman and potentially marry one.

I like American girls but the culture of dating in America is insane and we make it a lot harder than it needs to be. I think if women in America open up and give men a chance and not judge I think we can have better dating life and I wouldn't have to go to Russia looking for love.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you've only bumped in to wrong womans in your life because I am sure there is someone out there made for you and sumday you will Meet her :')
You just have to be patient unless you are in hurry to get married.
Belive me Making decisions in rush will only take you to wrong places and give you either good or bad places but mostly it's just regrettable. All of those Are just experiences in your life or a lesson.
You can't start a love life by changing whom you are. Everyone has their own types and attractions.
Like example: what type of woman do you like and you don't like? Suppose if a woman who is not your type comes to approach to you, would you go for her? No right? Exactly everyone has their own taste so u can't judge and say there's no woman for me. There are some woman around the world that falls for people like you. There are some that would be attracted to you. They are just not there maybe because its not the right time. you just got to be patient and do you.
Life is full of surprises and things always happens out of unexpectancy.
You can't always get what you want so don't expect anything and just wait. It will happen itself. :)
Good luck!

[ScreechingPigeons]

The problem men have is they try and categorize themselves into either pigeon-hole when it's better to have both traits in equal measure.

I don't consider myself a "nice guy" or a "bad guy" but I do possess traits of both of these types of men. I will treat women with courtesy, respect, I will be polite to them, I will hold doors open for them, I will pay for the first date but guess what? I treat men with courtesy, respect, I will be polite to them and I will hold doors open for them. Women do not qualify for preferential treatment from me outside of a relationship.

I never planned the few dates I have been on, I just turned up and acted on impulse. I once took a woman out on a small boat because I had never experienced paddling around in a small rowing boat along an embankment. I took another woman to a "posh" bar, not because I wanted to impress her but because I wanted to check the place out. I take women to places where I want to go and I never try and impress a woman on a date. I simply turn up, act on impulse, do what I want and if I hear back from her, great, if I don't, I am not too worried because I'll attract another woman.

On dates I like to keep things low key, I never reveal too much about myself and I will deliberately use the ambiguity of the English language to skirt around certain questions.

You cannot attract a woman by not trying to impress her and you can attract a woman by not being a stereotypical bad boy.

[devilish-cutie]

okay, look, the thing is that if you are a bad guy most women would appeal to it sexually which in this case happened, but not really long term. Most women that would fall for that are those that would want only sex form you. However not all women would fall for that cause not all are into casual sex.
Being a nice guy is the type that would women more consider dating material. However it's not easy to click w someone and find that person you feel is someone you wanna be with. Meaning not everyone will like you and you need a woman that will like you for you. That is far harder to find than someone to have casual sex with. The reason that women rejected you was cause they didn't connect that deep w you, might have been fine, okay, but not like amazing and most people aim for an amazing relationship and partner they feel li someone from their world.

[AmongTheApples]

media1.giphy.com/media/3i7zenReaUuI0/giphy.gif

Yeah, I don't believe your bullshit either.

The black and white thinking on this site annoys me. You shouldn't be a pansy or they'll reject you. But if you treat them like a slut, as you claim made them all want to sleep with you, then you'll just repulse them and get pepper sprayed. The winning formula is somewhere in the middle, more toward the nice guy than the bad boy.

[vintagegirl90]

Wow I'm also 25 and i consider myself nice. While being nice during dates, I've been treated well and sometimes poorly, however it has encouraged my approach slightly change to be a bit forward, be brave, flirt a little and show initiative. I wasn't after casual sex, but guys have offered that to me, while that was flattering, I said no.

It really depends on the girl's personality, I feel like you're generalising here and also basing opinion on New York only. I'm an Australian girl so I'll be different to those girls. Not all girls are after casual sex, sometimes I think you met the wrong sort of girl who wasn't right for you.

[CisScum]

Honestly, being a bad boy is usually complete bullshit and even if it did work psychology dictates it won't work much more the older you get. Confidence attracts women.

Besides that, this take can only relate to people who want to fuck and that's it. If you want any meaningful relationships then being a "bad boy" is completely useless and most times you will just find women who are suckers, who are easy and/or just want to fuck.

I am not going to be an asshole to any woman myself, I can continue being nice and I won't change who I am to fuck any girl. Sure maybe I will get pushed aside but you gotta date a lot of people to find the diamond in the rough, if you want to be poetic about it I suppose.

[Puppylove94]

I agree. It's confidence

[CisScum]

@Puppylove94 Yup, a lot of guys think they have to be assholes to women but nah, I don't believe that at all. Someone gets rejected a few times or the first date doesn't go well a few times and then they think that way.

[capturemyheartnow]

From your conclusions it seems that a man has to act bad , date a girlfriend , fall in love and marry. And they can wait to show their good qualities after they have children. This story could be a good subject to make a movie. But this is not the story in all the cases. There are girls who have talked to me on this site and have expressed their feelings that they love good boys and that they can think about having sex even after marriage. i would not agree with you to generalize the situation based on your own individual experience only. The world is very vast and different have different expectations and choices. Let us not consider them as belonging to one category only. You are a gentleman and I know some good girl will find you and accept you as you are. then you will say that good girls do like good guys.

[capturemyheartnow]

Just after reading your article i just found a new articel by ikissedtheskyonce titled "Why i want to remain single" in which she says that she is ready to remain single I she doesn't get to marry a good behaved man. Just have a look at the story. It can give you new insights.

[Nice_Guy_Last]

Oh look, a Nice Guy vs Bad Boy Take where the bad boy is the evil guy and the nice guy is the hero, and the girls always go for the bad boys. I have never read a Take like that before!

Sorry, turning off the patronization now. I just needed to say that.

So, let me start here: the world is not just bad boys and nice guys. There is a whole range of how guys treat girls beyond those two.

Second, Nice Guys have it hard because they treat all women the same. Girls want to feel special and unique, and by saying the same things, Nice Guys make their praise feel like it is bland, generic, and forced.

[feminismisnarcissism]

this take is a bit disjointed to me... I'm definitely a bad boy in most ways, and only some of this strikes me as valid. For example-the bit about touching her-ya, that's good. Women don't like scared, careful, cautious men who are afraid to make a move... I assume they wonder "am I gonna have to hold his hand the whole way?"

I love messing with their libido (this assumes I'm single of course, I'm not all bad lol) like aggressively smelling her perfume so I can breathe on her neck-almost causes goosebumps every time, and they can't hide that-love that shit. Or simply approaching them such that they're not sure if I'm gonna rip their clothes off and fuck them right there... lol. You know, you gotta drop jesus and realize we ARE animals and remind her she's one, being approached by one.

I'm kinda bored now, so I'll stop there.

[Dim_121]

Sadly it is true most women just want sex from 18-25. They don't want a relationship. So they go with the guy that will give it to them the easiest way possible. At that age you need to look for someone who wants a relationship. Which is fairly hard to do these days.

[redeyemindtricks]

😂😂 "Do you like guys with nice pecs?" and now you're fucking a different woman every day?

Right... *that* really happened... ahah

[myTake Owner]

It was an example... didn't say I actually use that line...

[redeyemindtricks]

Mhm.

I'd *love* to see an example of how you "keep the sexual tone going"... I bet it's hilarious.

[Puppylove94]

The sad thing is I believe it lol women are easy these days

[myTake Owner]

I'd be able to get you into bed pretty easily @redeyemindtricks - I've picked up quite a few women your age. Doesn't take much.

[Puppylove94]

Too far lol

[redeyemindtricks]

@Puppylove94 I mean... he said he looks like a model, and he said nothing at all about the kind of women he's going for...
I suppose this is possible, if he really IS that good-looking and he's chatting up women who are... well, clearly less attractive than he is.

In that case, they're probably just thinking that he should talk less and fuck more. 😂😂

[redeyemindtricks]

"I'd be able to get you into bed pretty easily"

Bahahaha... okay, I'll bite. Show me yr best game, boy. 😂😂😂

[Cosytoasty]

I agree, his story does paint him too perfect and his two scenarios way on the extremes of the spectrum. Does seem to be written for effect. Basically we have a Ryan Gosling, who writes comic books, but at the drop of a hat he can sleep with 9 women in 7 days.

The only part i believe in is his date not responding and that this was written out of frustration.

[Scrambledagain]

😂 the "nice pecs" thing literally made me laugh out loud too. Nice one Johnny bravo;)

[feminismisnarcissism]

that seemed a bit silly to me also. However... women DO tend to like strong arms... arms mean he can pin your ass and there's nothing you can do about it. women do want to be taken on an instinctual level.

[Scrambledagain]

@feminismisnarcissism I wish I could tag every gager on here because this is how strongly I feel about this:

I would give up my 100kg bench pressing, 140kg dead lifting, 6 packed, v - lined, hard-arsed, 10 year earned gym body for a that personality that attracts women. Thin men, men with beer bellies etc get far more women than I do.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Scrambledagain What are yr actual *goals* as far as fitness is concerned? Are you trying to get shredded and look like a physique model -- or are you trying to get strong like a powerlifter?

I only say that because... you mentioned two very underwhelming lifting PR's, before you went into the physique stuff.
100kg = 221lbs in the bench press and 140kg = 309lbs in the deadlift... are those 10-rep maxes? Hopefully not 1RM's...
Those should be achievable as 1RM's after at most a year or two. If those are 1RM's after ten years of training, then something is VERY wrong with yr workouts and/or diet.

I'm looking at yr body in yr profile picture -- and the problem is, you have the sort of physique that looks nice with a shirt off, but is neither here nor there *with clothes on*. And, the problem is... you meet people with clothes on.

The problem -- as I'm seeing it -- is that you seem to be trying to train for 2 contradictory goals (low bodyfat *AND* bench/deadlift poundage), and each of

[redeyemindtricks]

those goals is fucking with the other one -- AND fucking with the way you look in yr clothes.

If you started training specifically for lower bodyfat, and stopped giving a shit about the amount of weight you were lifting... you could reach a point where you would be *noticeably* ripped WITH clothes on. There *IS* a tipping-point where women would start being like "whoa" with that, and might even become more of the sexual aggressors -- I've seen it happen with several clients (remember, I work in the fitness industry) -- but that point doesn't happen until several percentage points of bodyfat lower than where you're currently at.

**OR** you could train for gains and strength and size, and you could be noticeably BIG in yr clothes. That, too, would be more of an immediate sexual attractant for more women. But in that case you'd need to forget about the six-pack and the shreddedness.

It's one or the other dude. Not both. If you chase two rabbits, you won't catch either one.

[Scrambledagain]

@redeyemindtricks

PR's? like personal records? No that's my usual and no its not overwhelming, as I am not competing or nor will I ever be a model. I know its good because I am in the weight section that not many people go to and it helps at peak hour. Nor does that pic do me justice. You can see my six pack and abs through my shirt, I get comments all the time. But I could get bigger, but there is no point. I wanted steroids remember? but there is no point..

Remember I said I live by rules? its just a good rule to gym and eat well as not doing it will be worse. I do gym because its a rule. I look better than I would if I didn't do gym. But not that it matters anyway as... again...(and again)... it doesn't get women. The takeaway from what I said is that gym (good physique) doesn't get women. Beer belly dude gets women if he has THAT personality that is elusive to me. It doesn't matter if I am in the top half of male physique, because as you said, even THAT... is "sub par"

[redeyemindtricks]

@Scrambledagain but that's my point -- there *are* physiques that can get women by just standing there with minimal conversation. They just aren't the one you have (in yr profile pic).

There are 2 kinds of physiques that CAN get women with almost zero prowess in the conversational arts, just by basically standing there:

• You can be *insanely* shredded... but, the problem here is that yr actual sexual functioning (along with yr general go-get-'em attitude and ability to function in life across the board) will be shot. Even being able to get consistent erections at these levels of bodyfat is a huge challenge.

• You could be REALLY big and powerful-looking.

Those are THE two kinds of physiques that can... get women by just *being* there. And that's that.

[Scrambledagain]

I'm trying to say that no matter how fucking big or shredded I (or any other guy) am, it ain't happening with my personality.

Beer dude will get the girl over bigger powerful me if I don't have THAT personality.

And besides... I put more effort into making money... as that gets women more than physique and personality combined. and its not just splashing money per se, but rather the lifestyle that you can create that attracts women.

[FingerDancer]

Ummmm.. OP.. you have more crossed signals than Chinese arithmetic.

I am really not surprised about your rather bleak romantic life thus far. You really need to concentrate on the female and her needs as opposed to reinforcing yours.

Just my opinion

[myTake Owner]

Explain