The difference between "nice guys" and "bad guys"

Aight so let's get a few things out of the way before we begin. First of all, I'm not defining nice guy as the fedora tipping sociopath who will message you 15 times before calling you a fat ugly whore who he doesn't want to date anyway. I'd class that in the "bad guy" section. And bad guys, well I'll get to that later in this post. This is more or less just my opinion of what classes as a genuine "nice guy" and a "bad guy". This was inspired by the post "Why I dated 'bad guy'" by @Hannah591 Some people were commenting about the whole argument about nice and bad guys is dumb because no one actually defines them and nor does she, at least very well. So Imma do my best here to give it a go and hopefully y'all will at least find it interesting. Also I'm not trying to tell you should or shouldn't date, that's up to you and your judgement of the person. This is just me giving my opinion on something nobody really seems to be able to define. Also this can mostly go both ways, though I think some things differ by gender (on average).

Niceguy, and a nice guy
Niceguy, and a nice guy

Niceguys vs Nice Guys

You probably all know the meme of the fedora tipping neckbeard niceguy who acts nice to women and expects sex in return. Think Ross after season 6. The are the kind of guys I would class as bad guys, because that is what they are. They are the bad apples, the sour candies, guys whom it isn't healthy to be in a relationship with. That is how I'd define a bad guy. Nice guys then would, logically, be the opposite of that.

When I think of a genuinely nice guy, I think of someone who is just a nice person, not because they expect sex, but just because being nice is just a good thing to do. Holding doors for people, helping people in general and just not acting like an over confident, self absorbed prick who only cares about himself. This doesn't mean he lacks confidence, he just doesn't go overboard with it. They are the kind of people who are genuinely chivalrous because there is nothing wrong with that. These are the kinds of people whom I believe you would have a happy, healthy relationship with because they are genuinely kind and polite people and there's simply not enough of those today.

Such a punchable face...
Such a punchable face...

Bad guys

I don't like the "bad boy" image, because it honestly just looks like some over confident, trying too hard to be cool pleb who would just use you for sex and then never call you. As I mentioned before, I also think the m'lady niceguys would fall into this catagory as well, they're just a different kind of bad guy. The kind where "bad" means what it actually means, instead of some way to make them sound edgy and cool. This is because I think "bad boys/guys" are not good relationship material whatsoever and a relationship with someone like that would be unhealthy and have some negative, possibly long lasting effects on you.

That's My Definitions

Those were all just my opinions based on what I think nice guys and bad guys actually are and the kind of people I'd be happy dating. You might have a different opinion, and that's totally fine. I'd be happy to hear what other people have to say and talk about it as this was fairly short as myTakes go and I'm sure I'm probably missing a few things.

Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Kinda having my own talks on this stuff too. So I thought I'd chime in.

    To me is a kind of complicated issue, it's especially a difficult issue to pack into a small parcel and mass produce for public consumption. With people, general ideas need to be incredibly basic to carry and deliver. It's fine that they are like that with exception. We need them simplistic as to be able to make them transfer able. By eliminating deep insight or other complexities like detail they become easy to use. Like, anchor babies, foriegn-illegals-babies.

    The problems is how we process them. We don't really know exactly what other people are thinking. I've been in the argument before about how generalizing is normal with people who can't seem to wipe the impression out of their head that it means racism. Anyways, because they are oversimplistic the nuance gets lost. Specifics are not taken into account and random associations start to manifest. Like, one persons "nice guy" isn't always the same as another persons "nice guy" There cross over incidently causes people to attribute blame from A to B. Especially the feminist types, except they do it deliberately. They attack the "nice guy" meaning anything less than CHAD, but they use slieght of hands to do it by attacking the substitute "nice guy" that is a weasel. Feminists just want to kill men. So the problem is in conceptual conversion. A gets blamed as B because they both have A features.

    Its fine that people use such short cuts but its fine to invent new concepts if they work. When people say "trendy", "hipster", "white guy" it's fine until names like "white guy" become "racist" We just need to understand ideas better and find a way to really pin point what it is we are talking about. Like the weasally "nice guy" those girls dont like, you dont like either if your using their definition. But just wait until every "nice guy" gets cruxified.

    Personally I dont like these ideas because I find they aren't very good. Like you can define a "bad boy" as an asshole. Its simpler. But people may want to have additional features in their idea and I think we already have ideas for those types. Like the good assertive "bad boy" is an alpha. An alpha without the BS is a man, a man isn't a douche.

    Well that last part. may be a bit convoluted but I hope you get it.

    Again its fine to short cut for discussion amd what not. But one problem I see is that people want to exult people like the bad boy and conemn the nice guy and I think it carries bad company. We shouldn't be trying to vilify things like not being an asshole.

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    • In addition, one other reason why it is a bother. Some people would want to call a cat a dog. The contention there is that the identity of the dog and cat is compromised. People don't or shouldn't like these verbal complications.

      Also, likewise, if the defibition of a "nice guy" includes has wings and chirps its contentious. Because thats just falsified communication.

      I dont mean to disparage the likes of either trope too much but I think the "nice/bad guy" ideas are essentially flawed. like there's tonnes of little characteristics applied to them but when one of them is "nice guys eat worms in the sun like a bird" I am not going to accept that as a passable notion.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm happy to have been your inspiration to write a myTake! :D

    I'm currently dating an actual nice guy, as you've described. He's a total gentleman, probably the nicest and most respectful guy I've ever been with. Your sentence describes him well: "This doesn't mean he lacks confidence, he just doesn't go overboard with it. They are the kind of people who are genuinely chivalrous because there is nothing wrong with that."
    MyTake referred to the incel nice guys, the fedora tipping, neckbeard ones.

    I've dated guys with criminal records, but they treated me well as a girlfriend. I also dated guys who were initially kind and charming and outwardly, to society, seemed like a perfectly nice guy, but they treated me terribly and abused me behind closed doors. So maybe we should be clarifying whether it's society's outward view of a bad guy (criminal record) or whether it depends solely on how he treats his girl. In myTake, it was more of the outwardly perception that the 'nice guy' type have and how they usually subjectively label perfectly decent guys as bad.

    Great take! :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I would say give or take I'm kinda both but more of a classy guy.

    I'll give you nice as respect. But when lines are crossed I'll snap.

    I can be an ego centric prick. I say and do what I please when setting and time warrants it.

    Maybe I'm not bad. I'm probably just a classy prick.

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  • Again stupid ass labels and ideologies my god reading about this shit is just an eyesore and shows how shallow and sad the dating world has become it's freaking ridiculous

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  • The whole fedora tipping bullshit is not a real trope - it's a flawed manifestation of masculinity.
    It's the result of modern culture trying to eradicate masculinity, and some men seeking to find it in the wrong place. I know it because I've been there.

    Obviously putting on a fedora or opening doors or acting like someone who lives in the 1800s doesn't make you a man, but it's coming from a good place.

    In fact incels and "niceguys" should have been the warning sign for society that today's youth hasn't learned what masculinity is. I haven't for certain - my father was a total wuss, and if not for some negative experiences, my own intelligence and curiosity, and the red pill, I would never have grown out of being a "nice guy".

    Just saying. "nice guys" don't exist - they are not a personality type, they are just a phase, just like emos or scenes. It's supposed to go away.

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  • A bad boy has a lot of tattoos and slaps his woman.

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  • I'm a nice guy

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