Search Results: missing an ex

So me and ex boyfriend dated for about 5 months and it was an Online LDR. I thought we would break up and I wouldn't fall in love with him, but turns out I did... He has a girlfriend now and we broke up 2 months ago.. We've done the no contact thing and we ended up missing one another. For a week, we've been skyping almost everyday but we don't constantly text which is good... Yesterday, he finally admitted that he's dating that girl which i'm not surprised by the way. So I asked him why don't you just Skype her every night? and he didn't answer but told me to shut up don't mention her. I asked why? and he said because it ruins the moment we have together. I was like okay.. wtf. I told him that he shouldn't Skype me from now on... because he tells me he loves me and it's just cheating. I asked him if he would like it if his new girlfriend did that to him and he said no. It hurt when he said that.. I just couldn't take it anymore.. So i told him, we can't talk anymore and he said is this really what you want? you want me to leave? and i said i think you should leave. Then he was like no don't say should. Tell me what you want. I told him I don't want you to leave, but you can't do this anymore; it's cheating. Then he was like so you're telling me to go? I told him yes.
I don't know what to do.. it's been 2 months and if anything, I love him more than anything... I don't know if he feels the same way but he told me he does love me or why else would he Skype me every night. I asked him is it the same way as before? he said I don't know. It feels different but yeah I love you.

I know i made the right decision... but at the same time.. I don't want to lose what we had and at the same time... I'm smart to know that i deserve better.. but what we had was special... he's my first love and i've never felt so much for someone before.. I just don't know what to do.. should I just stay by his side as friends and see where it takes me or let it go and never look back again..&nbs