Search Results: birthday celebration

I have an Anxious Preocuppied Attachment style and he is a fearful avoidant, both 28. We had been together for 3 years before he broke up with me almost a month ago while celebrating our anniversary / my birthday. The month prior, he had moved to a new city due to being transferred at his job, so new workplace as well. His company gave him 2 weeks to move his whole life over there and he had to do the move while still going to work so he was highly stressed. The city is about 1.5hrs away by train from where I am (and he also was) and I have plans to go there next year for work, so we were thinking of going there together. So a long distance relationship would have been temporary and we would have seen each other once a month in person. He reassured me that everything would be okay and that we would absolutely make it work.

When he came back to our city a week after moving/starting his new job (for the celebration), he looked very stressed. His work week was hectic and he’d get home at around 9pm every day and go straight to sleep (about one message a day). At the hotel, where we were celebrated, he seemed to be in a terrible mood so I asked him what was wrong a bunch of times and also mentioned our future (moving in together eventually, which we’ve talked about before) and he said he didn’t know and couldn’t give me the answer that I wanted. He then came up with a bunch of excuses about needing to focus on himself and his career and not having the bandwidth to be in a relationship anymore. That he couldn’t cherish me. There was no changing his mind. I left the hotel and went back home.

The next day I called to make up and talk again but he was firm in his decision so we each apologized and thanked each other and that was it. He deleted me from IG and hasn’t reached out since. I have been in NC. I’m extremely hurt and am wondering if this is temporary or permanent? He broke up with me once before but came back after 20 mins apologizing. What should I do?

So I have made a question about this before but I'll say it again. My boyfriend has been telling me for the past month that he is 100% going to come to my birthday celebration, I even told him when we would be doing it a couple times. So the week or so leading up to it he told me he was going to talk to his boss.

So time had passed and I wasn't sure what was going on with it, so then my boyfriend told me he asked his boss "since he just found out the finalized plan last minute for (the day we will be celebrating my birthday celebration which was said a month prior) and it was after he got his schedule and it didn't seem promising but he made me seem like he was still coming but not at the same time.

Anyways still not 100% sure what was happening and told me at the time he can't come, he eventually told me he couldn't come. I got upset because he was telling me for quite some time he was coming and knew the day, on top of not knowing what was going on and not realizing he was trying. In my mind I just think if you were to try you'd ask and confirm with me and try to book it off in advanced.

So I told him what he did was very shitty and not to tell someone you're coming when it didn't seem like he wanted to come or trying and that I was pissed. He felt like I was being "ungrateful" which wasn't the case at all because I understand that his work schedule is all over the place, so if he couldn't come i would understand and if he tried I appreciate it but the fact that he told me he was really was annoying. Also the "true colors" comment was me expressing my frustration.

So usually around birthday celebrations my family and I would get together and celebrate it, so my birthday is coming up and my boyfriend told me a couple weeks ago that he will be there for when my family celebrates my birthday and for me not to worry and that I'm his #1 priority etc. Recently I found out that he just asked his boss about taking that day off and my boyfriend told me that it might not happen but he's going to try everything in his power to be there. Usually he would let his boss know ahead of time but this is very close to the day when we would be celebrating it and didn't know the confirmed plans until a couple days ago. I was mistaken that regardless he would take it off. We do have potential plans to celebrate my birthday just the two of us.

I understand work gets in the way but I am more annoyed at the fact that he said he is going to 100% be there and made me feel bad of the confirmed plans a few days ago, and now all of a sudden he might not be able to come. Where I thought regardless of what we did or not with the family he would still want to come.