Do you think my cousins are unconsiderate to their mom?

[Anonymous]

Oneof my male cousin birthdays is in 15 days and he will turn 50. Her sister (my other cousin) are planning something for him but since she does not get along with some other relatives for quite a while now (more than 5 years) she won't invite these relatives to the celebration she plans to do to her brother the only relative she will invite and take into account are the only relatives she and her family gets along with, and that means me, my mom, my brother my sister, her and her husband period. she will also will invite some of her friends who also are friends of her brother at the same time.

Since it is her brother 50s. my cousin was given as a gift a boat ride for the whole day (it is like a small yacht not very fancy though), some of the clients my cousin works for will give him this gift and pay for half of it the rest of the payment the guests will pay. The boat is all inclusive (snacks, lunch, 4 beverages). But then there is the issue of my cousins mother, sh eis in a wheel chair due to a knee condition in one of her legs and for some years now it is impossible for her to walk. For my aunt to go to this trip, the yacht or the place the yacht is docked to the pier at least needs a ramp so the wheel can run and get into the boat, if the yacht cannot be docked in some pier and guests need to use a small dingy first to step inside the yacht my aunt won't be able to go to this trip for the difficulty of her in a wheelchair. Guess what? My aunt` children (my cousins) never thought of their mom condition first, before planning and accept this gift cause Im sure they want their mom to go.

My mom who is also an elder person like my aunt, told me she won't go if her sister won't go cause she will get bored and lonely being the only elder there even if the ones going are friends and relatives but they are not her age anyway and it cannot be comfortable.

Updates

2 mo

But by mom not going, I won't go either or my brother because we cannot let my mom alone at the house for the whole day from morning until night, my married sister and her husband who are also invited, they can't go to this trip cuse they have already a prior committment that day.

So you see, by my aunt not going the boat, this birthday plan can fall apart but her children did not think of her mom first they only thought about having fun and do a different thing (other than a usual get together

Updates

2 mo

at some restaurant or venue) to celebrate my cousin 50.
My aunt told me she already asked her kids if the boat has some facilities for handicapped people but at this moment, her kids has not given her mom an answer.

[DoggyDude]

No. I don't think they are inconsiderate. The gift wasn't for them as far as I could understand.

It can be hard to be inclusive, but one should not reduce everything down to the lowest common denominator to be "considerate".

It would be though, good form, to arrange another get together to allow for a wider family get together. One which has scope for all abilities.

[Asker]

But my cousins want his close family to join the birthday relative to go with them as we are the closest relatives and they want us to be a a part of. For what my female cosuin told me the boat fits 15 peopel so they are inviting 15 people to go and in those 15 people include my cousisn children, 2 friends, me mom and my siblings and her parents. So yes for me they should had thought first before accepting this gift to think of their mother first or do a celebration like in a restaurant or a place like that like it has always been a tradition in our family to go to eat lunch somwhere else but because is 50 years i assume they wanted to do something different but only with 15 of his close people including her own parents and take into acount that her mom is on a wheelchair and investigate first if the boat has handicapped facilities.

[DoggyDude]

It's always complicated when something limits the numbers of people who can join in. Sometimes its just better to have a smaller group. I wouldn't, myself, take it personally if the numbers are limited and I didn't get an invite. I'd just arrange something on my own with the person and solve it that way.

It's always more difficult when you have a very large family group to keep that group all together. Espcially with how much everything is costing lately. Just be the bigger person, be cool about it (I find, that when numbers are limited people pick the company which is least drama and most understanding; I don't get chosen for ever event, but I get chosen a lot because people know if they leave me out I won't be offended). Just my take there.