Search Results: do relationships cause weight gain

In high school, I was friends with a girl named Laura. She was absolutely beautiful: blond hair, blue eyes, great physique, athletic, friendly, a cheerleader but not pretentious or snobbish. I lusted for her but knew that I was not mature enough to date before I left high school at age 16.

A few years ago, Laura contacted me on Facebook in connection with our 45th high school reunion; I had not attended a reunion since our 5th. I decided to attend because I was divorced, in a failing relationship, and I wanted to see if any of my female classmates might be single and available.

When I met Laura, I was shocked. She had gained so much weight. . . it was like the photo above, except it was real and not just photoshopped. She had developed a medical problem which required her to frequently use systemic steroidal medications, and that had caused tremendous weight gain. She was still nice, sweet, very pleasant, etc. and she was single and seemed to be interested in me but I could not get past the horrible physical transformation. I know - please don't remind me - that I should not judge her solely by her physical appearance, but the idea of lusting for her was impossible to imagine. . . and I felt guilty about that. . . and disappointed. . . and sympathetic about her medical condition.

Have you ever had such an experience?

It is PC approved to say that appearance doesn't matter and OF COURSE we shouldn't "fat shame" anyone. That means that you aren't supposed to have any negative thoughts or feelings towards anyone just because they weigh as much as a baby elephant. That's a wonderfully exalted and elegant theory of the way things ought to be but it simply fails to account for the real world.

For real people, appearance is a big factor in physical attraction. I am attracted to some women and not others; I like petite, diminutive women who have a cute face. I am not attracted to significantly overweight women. You can send me to a PC re-education center and have me sit through sensitivity training classes until the cows come home

and I still won't be attracted to seriously overweight women. I have dated women who were 10-20 pounds overweight but that is the limit for me. I never told a girl that I did not want to date her because of her size, but I never dated a girl who I thought was abnormally large.

Fortunately, none of my partners in long term relationships ever gained any substantial weight while we were together. I'm not sure that I would have left them because of that. I probably would have talked to them, inquired about possible depression, medical conditions causing weight gain, offered to help them with dieting and exercise, etc. But I don't think I could stay in a relationship with a woman who was 5' 4" and 190 pounds.

Could you do it? Could you stay with a partner if they gained a significant amount of weight?

(SJW's: If you don't like what I said, I don't want to hear from you! Save you opinion for someone who actually cares about what you think.)

I will be honest... I have before. And I regretted it, but as of now I believe that if I got into a commitment I wouldn’t stop doing what I was doing for myself prior to meeting the girl, other than seeing other women at the same time lol

But I see it all the time where prior to a couple getting serious say they’re both fit.. then a few months pass and they both stop caring about their image and begin to gain weight n all. Personally I feel like this causes problems within the relationship cause it shows complacency and lack of caring. But what do all you think?