Will my boyfriend care if I gained weight?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is getting back from deployment in a couple of weeks. We had been arguing and having relationship issues the entire 9 months and I was drinking and stressing myself out cause he broke up with me mid deployment to date another girl and then we got back together. I'm not at the shape that I want to be but I was never really skinny and he loved me anyways I dont know if it was because he wants to have sex with me or if it is genuine cause all the guys I tried to date blew me off cause I looked fat to them so I am extremely insecure and self conscious about my weight. He tells me that he doesn't care but I dont think that he has actually been with a thick kind of curvy woman before so he is just saying stuff so that I do not feel bad. I do believe that he has a good heart but guys also want someone that is fit and doesn't have stretch marks. Advice? I'm at the point now where I'm 100% confident and I'm not trying to change my body anytime soon and hurry to lose weight. The last time that I was laying with him he didn't really care he just wanted to have sex and he tells me I'm beautiful without makeup but he hasn't actually seen my body and he is always telling me how much he wants to see it but I'm very conscious about my body. I know I should be comfortable and not care what people think about me but being 100% realistic common. Advice?

[alelectro]

I think most guys don't try that hard to hide how they feel about a person physically. Without being overly stereotypical, I think it's generally true that girls more frequently tend to be kind or subtle in how they express their opinions on someone's looks. That might even be what's making you feel nervous. I mean you might feel if you were in his situation, you'd probably say things to be nice. But guys, on average, tend to be a little more direct about physical preferences. All that to say, if he says he doesn't care and he's evidently still turned on by you, then he probably means what he's saying. I personally prefer larger body types, and I know many other guys do too, or they are simply turned on by aspects other than body size, such as fuller breasts or booty which tend to be enhanced by some weight.

[October808]

Wall of text.

"I'm at the point now where I'm 100% confident and I'm not trying to change my body anytime soon and hurry to lose weight. "

If your boyfriend does care then what will you do? And furthermore if you'd only choose good health if your boyfriend wanted you to have it what does that say about you? People complain that being healthy is too hard yet they go to a job Mon-Fri for years on end when they don't like it. Missing the fact that being healthy can have a lifetime of benefits for them personally.

[Asker]

I never said I was was too lazy to lose weight. I gained a few pounds. A few pounds to society and me in general are considered fat or lazy. When a few pounds to a woman is comfortable. Thick doesn't necessarily mean fat gaining 5-10 pounds when you weigh 134 is considered fat nowadays. Its sad

[October808]

Sure but you seemed concerned about what he will think but you don't plan to do anything about it if he does care. So what are you going to do then? Poot to G@G later that he "does care" about your weight after all? If you're concerened about what someone else thinks about your weight, that means you're not comfortable with your weight. If you're not planning to better yourself don't play victim when it turns around and bites you.

[Asker]

No one is playing victim. I asked a question. You didn't have no answer it. I dont care what he thinks I'm beautiful any shape form or fashion regardless if I'm fat or not. You dont call people lazy cause people complain about weight. Cause one day you will be overweight and deemed not attractive by society I asked yes or no question that is it.

[justme1171]

He hasn’t seen you yet but if you really gained weight he probably will dump you, and with good reason. He was overseas getting shot at while you were failing to keep yourself hot. He’s military, which means he probably gets more opportunities from cute, hot fit girls. Why would he stay with you if he could be with them? Any guy who says looks aren’t everything is a cuck. Looks are everything.

[Asker]

That's very rude but not surprising coming from a guy who feels looks are everything. I never said I was ever hot or fit. I said a couple of pounds. It's understandable guys want hot girls which hot girls are mentally unstable, crazy, insecure and probably will stab you if you pis them off studies have shown. Guys are constantly wondering why they get cheated and try to play the "oh I'm so ugly card" yet you judge women because of their looks well so do we and we are 100% justified.

[livelovelearn]

Hard to tell. Without seeing you two together. Myself I like thick women. But some men don't. If he ain't dated them in tne past. Just let him see you naked and see how he reacts

[andreasderjuengere]

You say that you are 100% confident, and at the same time you wonder if your guy likes your shape.
So: meet him, and find out.

[boggboss]

You are overthingking and creating issues where none exist stop worrying over nothing

[Talbert]

If he's overweight, why can't you be?

[Thatsamazing]

Yeah, probably. Most of us do.

[Thatsamazing]

Oh, and any guy who tells you otherwise is probably lying to you.

[crazy8000]

When will you learn!
Ask him!
Not others!

[CuriousMufuxka]

Not initially.