My boyfriend makes fun of my body is that a valid reason to leave him?

[Irisx1]

Hello everybody, I want to get some opinions on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Ever sense we first started talking he would tell me that my pants didn't look good on me bc they were too loose. I was like ok whatever he is just being honest. Then he started making fun of my small boobs and would tell me not to get surgery bc he would break up with me but then again he was over here buying me pills to make my boobs bigger. In the beggining of our relationship he would always go to the gym and girls would flirt with him he would let me know which I respected but the way he would describe the girls to me he would say "She had a big ass" "She had big tits" and this and that. He would describe them as if if he found those girls attractive. Every once in a while he makes fun of my legs and says that they look like chicken legs blah blah blah, and would overall just make fun of my scrony body knowing that it's hard for me to gain weight. I started going to the gym and felt proud of myself bc of the results I was making and I would tell him that I started seeing changes & he would tell me that I will alway stay scrony and not get toned. Don't get me wrong he is a good boyfriend & sometimes he tells me he likes my perky butt & tells me i'm beautiful but there are those days that he makes fun of my body and won't say he is joking. Overall i'm just confused I really love him but he makes me feel insecure mind you I have never been insecure until I got in this relationship. Should I leave him? I really don't want to but I feel like this is not right & yes I have already talked to him about this and he still makes fun of my body not often but every once in a while. Also he doesn't let me go to bars or wear a bikini. Is he being controllive, I let him go to the bars but he doesn't let me bc he says that I would not be able to take care of myself but obviously I would just have one or two drinks but I don't know what do you guys think?

[mwin2030]

In my opinion, the solution to your problem appears to be common sense, and it appears to me you already know what you should and need to do, but I get the impression you’re wanting validation of your decision before you actually set it in motion.

This being the case, perhaps, let me assure you that if you’re decision is to break up with this guy, then you are most definitely on the right path choice. After reading your posting and reflecting on what you’re experiencing, my belief is the guy you’re with a narcissistic, abusive, immature, and self-absorbed jerk, and you deserve much better than that.

You’re his girlfriend and he’s criticizing you about your appearance? He’s controlling you by saying you can’t go to bars, but he can, and after his work outs he can’t help himself but tell you about all the girls flirting with him and their physical attributes, while at the same time depressing you with his oppressive attitude. You don’t need that in your life.

There is no reason why someone who says they care about you should be treating you in this fashion. Especially since you’ve not indicated anywhere in your posting that you’ve expressed a desire to be treated this way and that you like it. And from what you’ve posted and how you’re feeling right now I can’t imagine you actually feel that way, so by all means get away from this person before he negatively damages your self-esteem and self-confidence more than he’s already obviously accomplished.

You know this is the right solution. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be trying to get advice on this very subject in what to do. You already know what you need to do. Take a deep breath, settle yourself firmly in your choice, then pack up your belongings and get out of there. Your happiness is your own responsibility and you know in your heart you’re not happy with the way things are going and you’ve already spoken to him about his behavior and it didn’t change. That tells you more than anything else you need to break up with him. End of story.

[Irisx1]

Thank you for taking the time and not only reading everything but also replying back with great feedback. Yes I did want some validation and you sure gave me that which I appreciate you are right sometimes love just makes us blind never thought I would be this blind but he is manipulative and I was a fool I thought he could change. Again thank you!

[mwin2030]

You are most welcome. I'm delighted my words were able to help you in your dilemma. Please feel free to reach out to me any time you feel you want advice or may need someone to vent to. My door's always open. Good luck!

[lightbulb27]

I don't like him, he is immature really. He needs to be trained.

now that you say controlling... that is coming across in what he says as well... he's making you feel insecure and possibly controlling you.

obvilusly problems, he likely needs some counseling on why he has low self esteem and/or how to treat another human being... that you are not a thing or object. Likelyhood of him seeing it is low.. but you need to talk to him about it.

For me, I think I'd be out of there... or get your own cousnelor and talk through it. That is not healthy... he is tearing you down instead of building you up.

[Irisx1]

Thank you I appreciate your feeback! You are right he is tearing me down i've been so blind throught this whole time that we have been dating he was being manipulative and made me think it was ok for him to make fun of my body as long as he wasn't being physically abusive but being mentally abusive is just as bad. Again thank you!

[lightbulb27]

I'd say mental and emotional abuse is worse. physical heals faster, the other stuff erodes your sense of self worth and esteem and the relationship, but the other person can end up in control of you.

I'm not saying bail out... there may be value in loving the other person... to get them help... and learning about yourself. But it may be wise to bail out to protect yourself... my point is there is learnigns about yourself in this... why you were attracted to him in the first place.

good luck...

[Sara413]

"Don't get me wrong he is a good boyfriend"

... no, he's not. He's an emotionally abusive boyfriend who is also controlling. A partner should make you feel good about yourself, not worse. You said you weren't insecure before getting into this relationship but now you are. A healthy relationship would have the opposite effect.

You need to leave this guy. He's fucking garbage and doesn't respect you at all. He is mean and uses insults to make you feel like you're shit and can't do better. THAT IS ABUSE!

[Laura89]

He sounds like a control freak and he is saying those things about your body to make you stay, if you feel insecure enough you won't ever leave him as he is probably trying to make you think you couldn't get anyone else. It sounds very unhealthy and either he has to change or you have to leave. Your boyfriend should make you feel beautiful and like he is lucky to have you, not bragging about other girls and making you feel bad about yourself. Your boyfriend sounds horrible.

[Irisx1]

Yes you are right I never thought about it that way because I have been blind througout this time tat we have been dating. He is trying to make me feel as if I can't get anyone better than him sense he is very attractive and muscular. Looks are not everything though I just learned my lesson, thank you so much I appreciate your feedback!😊

[Dlc20]

Leave him. He is an ass, and he is controlling. This is a very toxic relationship. Find someone else who will treat you right. Someone who would love, and appreciate you, and your body. He is not a good boyfriend. Good boyfriends, and realtionships make you feel good about yourself. They also make you a better person. I know you care about him, but keeping him in your life will only do more harm than good. Life is too short to take this.

[Irisx1]

Thank you, I appreciate your opinion it was very helpful you are right life is too short!

[BrittBratt2416]

What is with this douche.. Yes leave him. If he don't like what he's seeing then why the hell is he going out with you? Why did he go out with you in the first place? as your boyfriend He suppose to make you feel happy and beautiful not insecure and sad. So do yourself a favor and leave.. let him go find somebody else that fits his standards.

[dogbert444]

I can't see this changing. It's been going on too long to get him to stop. he is controlling, and later it will get worse. A guy like him likes to control everything you do. You will no longer be the free spirit you should be. It's only his insecurity that makes him stop you wearing a bikini or going to a bar. This insecurity will get worse and if you don't do what he says, it could turn violent.

You have a choice here. Think very carefully about YOUR future!

[Irisx1]

Thank you so much! I foung your opinion to be the most helpful. Never thought love would make me blind but oh well you live and you learn.

[dogbert444]

It's surprising how often this turns up on GAG! In one form or another. Probably once or twice a week!

Welcome to GAG, as well. I hope you find it useful and you enjoy your stay!

[BCRanger10]

This is just me, but I think you'd be better off without him. He just sounds very immature and yes, controlling. The fact that he doesn't think you'll be able to take care of yourself almost sounds like he's treating you like a child. Have you told him how you feel?

[Irisx1]

Thank you for taking the time to reply back and yes I told him that I don't like how he makes fun of me being scrony and that instead if making fun of me he should help me and go to the gym with me but he doesn't he actually stopped working out and got fat and I don't sit there and make fun of him. It's rare when he makes fun of me being scrony now tbh now what i'm more dealing with is him not letting me wear a bathing suit in public and also not being able to go to bars. But yes you are right it does seem as if he is treating me like a child.

[BCRanger10]

You're welcome.

Yeah, I think you need to find someone new.

[abc3643]

Lay down the law: State "Dude, I love you but I've had enough of you constants comments and jokes about my body and the bodies of other girls. Stop it. Now. If you keep it up, we're done and that will be it. There are plenty of other guys out there who'd love me for who I am and who won't give me play-by-play about my body."

[BlackPantherSpeaks]

Soooo... I'm not even half way through and this guy sounds like a douche bag... Let me finish. Yup definitely a douche who YOU are letting control YOUR life but thats my opinion and you're trying to justify it with little I love you's here and there.

I'd say leave him and find better but the choice is yours...

[ShaeNielson]

Girl you need to respect yourself, there is like a million reasons to dump his ass. He's a horrible person.

[Irisx1]

Yeah you're right!

[Anonymous]

He bought you pills? I'm sorry but you should of left him there...
Have you told him to stop with the comments?
The fact he won't let you to bars or wear bikinis is controlling and to be honest the putting down, the controlling where you go is emotional abuse. And I'd get out before it really does some damage to your self esteem and thoughts on relationships

[Anonymous]

Get out before it gets worse, or when it happens again stand up for yourself don't let him push you around. Let him know that it's not OK, if he still doesn't apologise or change his behavior then leave him. The emotional pain and mental damage is not worth the small good boyfriend acts he does

[peachblossomluck]

Yes. He is mentally abusing you and it's going to continue and get worse. You need to lose him like yesterday.

[Irisx1]

You're right thank you, I appreciate your feedback!😊

[pooper89]

A lot of people are telling you to leave. And I agree with them. That's a hard decision though.
Whatever you decide, his behavior will only get worse with time.

[Irisx1]

Yes very difficult after all of the memories we have made he even gave me a promise ring.. But you are right his behavior will only get worse thanks I appreciate your feeback!😊

[Unit1]

He is no good for you! Leave him now!
Abusive, manipulative and controlling "boyfriend" as you call him AND he doesn't respect you and makes you insecure.
Is this what you really want?

[Irisx1]

Thank you! You are absolutley right. Love can make people blind never thought I would be the blind one but you live and you learn.

[Unit1]

You're welcome!
Take care and be on your way!
Do what is good for you.

[akadatank44]

Break up with him he's an ass. He should love you the way you are and he doesn't. He doesn't deserve your love and affection. Some other dude out there does

[Irisx1]

Thanks I appreciate your feedback! You are right.

[akadatank44]

Anytime! 😊

[ToruMatsuda]

If you've talked to him about it and he still keeps doing it then yea dump his ass😠how have you been putting up with that for a whole year? Just be prepared got the sad sap speech he'll give you after telling him it's over

[Irisx1]

Lol yes the sad speech i'm prepared for it

[ToruMatsuda]

Lol oopsie I meant to put *for, not "got" the speech😂😂but still you get it, you deserve better

[Ella-J]

If he's making you insecure you really need to leave him. It sounds like he's the one who has his own insecurities which is why he feels the need to put you down. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways.

[Irisx1]

Yes you are right, thanks for sharing your opinion!(:

[TonyRyanAgain]

Tell him about his little penis problem, then leave that douche.

[Irisx1]

Lmao

[scooogy]

I think him making fun of you is always a valid reason to leave him, no matter what it's about.

[Irisx1]

True

[Kaylyne]

Just what the fuck are you doing or even thinking of?
This is a prime example of a first class fucking pathetic lowlife.
For Christ's sake girl will you please wake up and smell the coffee.

[Blonde401]

The question shouldn't be should you leave him, the question is why are you still with him?

[jacquesvol]

You're the only judge to decide whether you continue this relationship.

[blondfrog]

Yeah break up I am not reading those long details cause I am hungry and lunch will be ready soon.

[Dingsbums]

It's not a reason to leave him but a reason to talk about

[Username3568]

I used to make fun of my exs forehead. We wer in love

[Irisx1]

Lmao

[Nik1hil]

You should have kept a pol

[Trending]

It's up to you

[Irisx1]

True

[AlwaysBelieving]

Yes, that's a valid reason in my opinion.

[Sabretooth]

he's gonna destroy you.

[Anonymous]

Yes dump him.