My boyfriend is big on not getting complacent but I feel like I can’t live up to his standards status wise since I haven’t gotten complacent?

[Anonymous]

One of the biggest complaints is that men stop trying. They get too comfortable & aren’t like they were in the beginning. I’m grateful for my boyfriend he is the first hasn’t gotten complacent. We’ve dated a year & are over the honey moon phase. He’s made it clear (w/o me even bringing it up) he never wants to stop trying & always wants to be better for me/himself & it shows. I love him so much. He tells me I have so much potential & wishes I would see that. He wants nothing but the best for me. He challenges me. I know 1 shouldn't stop trying in a relationship. But he admits he thinks I’ve been complacent. says I sleep too much & need to do more things that I don’t want to do as it just makes anyone a better person overall. Haven’t gained weight- I work OT every week. I like to sleep 9-10 hours a night but so? We go on dates. I cook, clean, definitely do my share in this relationship. I just feel like I’m not good enough status wise. He has a degree, I don’t. He’s more ambitious than me. I’ve told him I’ve rarely trusted anyone & I’m comfortable where I can be happy. We’ve had much fun so far. trips, outings, adventures, our sex life is great & frequent (sometimes twice a day & I initiate a lot of it) He’s told me that all his ex gfs have gotten complacent and are just happy with who they are what they’re doing instead of “getting just one percent better everyday” which is a saying he says which I love because 1 percent is very doable. I also don’t want to have to live life though this way constantly.. or should I? I just want to be happy and enjoy the little things. I feel like I won’t live up to his standards. I take care of myself am not getting lazy but I feel like he always will want more. When is enough enough & one can just enjoy life together. What does this mean, a status thing? is this normal? Maybe just need to be more grateful I found someone who wants the best for me. can’t help but think I’m not good enough, never will be & it’s a lot of pressure.

Updates

1 y

Also we are in our 30s and have talked about marriage and kids in our future

[fembotnpc777]

I think the fact that you initiate sex and the fact that he picks at you are both kind of red flags. He left all those exes for basically no reason "muh 1%" or whatever the hell. He might just be a monkey-brancher. I don't trust it, but I'm kind of a pessimist, so take that with a grain of salt.

[Asker]

What’s a monkey brancher? I’m open to all sides so thanks for any input. He initiates sex too but I think if I do a lot that’s a big deal for the guy haha. But yes what is a monkey brancher

[fembotnpc777]

Like a serial monogamist

[Asker]

Ohhh like where someone has to be super perfect for them and then they’ll wanna be with them and only them no matter what forever?

[fembotnpc777]

I mean, I see your point, but I can't imagine loving someone, and then leaving them over something so insignificant. I'm kind of more an unconditional love kind of person, not someone who views love as a contract. Obviously, you seem pretty happy for the time being, and I hope things go well for you. Personally, I have a love deficit, and I couldn't deal with that kind of a relationship. I could really be happy in a relationship where I felt loved and comfortable with the person, or I would rather be single. I'm trying to understand this: maybe some women already have a support system and they'd rather be challenged? It's just a different way of thinking than how I think.

[fembotnpc777]

A serial monogamist is someone who is never single and goes from one relationship to the next.

[Anonymous]

I feel you are expecting too much out of yourself.

[Asker]

Well he tells me I’m the one being complacent and says I have potential and am capable of so much. So clearly he expects too much out of me?

[Avicenna]

Most people get complacent in a relationship over time

[Asker]

I know. But it’s like a deal breaker for him… I think some complacency is good so this is tough

[Guy13]

He means Married. Settled. Got a man or woman, Done ✅

[Asker]

What? We live together. He’s not married or cheating

[Guy13]

Don’t try to be like him. He has him already. He likes you are a homebody who is also a sex pot. Love him in your ways. Being like him is not your ways.
Grow in some Way. Hobby. Certificate. Community or Technical College. Anything !!

[Asker]

I go fishing and metal detecting but yeah maybe I need to find something more. Maybe I just want to play video games too. What’s wrong with being a homebody. Him and I are always going out and doing stuff so I like my introvert self too and to decompress

[Guy13]

And I think he likes that you are Home. Make your hobby kid centered? Are you homeschooling or public school?
Medical detecting are you East or West Coast?

[Asker]

I work from home for Twitter. He works from home too. Not Twitter

[Guy13]

Got it. You two must get along well ‼️ I fish in pond lake and ocean. No metal detector though

[Asker]

Nice. I could fish for hours.

[Guy13]

Yep. I’m a water person and that’s why I really love Thailand…. beautiful beaches and see 300 feet down to white sand….

[FilmGuy93]

Becoming complacent is totally different from finding something that makes you happy and sticking with it.

[In_Trance]

So have a conversation with him about it