Would you break up with a girl if she gained 8 pounds?

[Anonymous]

I have a weird relationship with food. It's my passion--I love to cook and bake, but usually healthy food. I've had some health issues with food too and was gluten free for five years, but that's all cleared up now. In the past few years I've had some eating disorder symptoms but have never been diagnosed (have you heard of the book "almost anorexic"? it's like that). Anyway, I've been dating my boyfriend for four months and when we met I was about 8 lbs lighter because I was really stressed and careful about my weight. We've been apart for six weeks because I have an internship in a different city and I'm coming back in a few days. Like I said, I've gained 8 pounds, which isn't all that much but I keep obsessing that he will think I'm fat because he met me when I was my thinnest. I'm nervous the eating disorder symptoms will return because I want him to think I'm attractive. Do you think he will notice or care? I'm 5'6 and weigh 132 pounds now that I've gained the weight.

[JanJan]

8 pounds is nothing. I mean it. A woman's weight can fluctuate that much in a day due to bloating and sleep. And anyhow, studies show that you have to gain/lose at least 10 pounds before most people will even notice. Even 15 likely wouldn't make much of a change. Your weight is perfectly healthy, and even if it goes up or down, you have nothing to worry about.

What sort of eating disorder symptoms are you referring to? Some women find their weight and eating problems the worst when they are stressed, and alternate between periods of eating (or binging), starving, self-purging, and dieting. Does this sound at all familiar? I would recommend talking to a counselor or therapist about this problem. There is no need to give up food, because food is awesome and it's natural to love it. But when your eating - or not eating - is related to your self-esteem, that can cause problems. Trust me, you are beautiful and he knows it. That's why he's with you. But you need to do this for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Most men wouldn't. Maybe if she gained 20 pounds but not 8 pounds.

[indy7]

8 lbs? No way. Absolutely not. At 5'6" 132 lbs I'd say you're perfect. In fact, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't mind evena little more meat on the bones. lol But 8 lbs is really nothing. When I first met my wife, 5'4", xx years ago she weighed &%$ lbs. I'm guessing she now weighs about *&% lbs. So probably gained around 70 or 80 lbs over that time, and she didn't given birth to children. It just happened, over time. Would I break up with her if we were dating? No. I still love her and think she's sexy. Will I divorce her? Most likely. But not because of her weight.

I think only you can answer your question. Is he one a guy who like girls for their bodies only or does he love you for you?

[youcanfindlove]

If he is shallow enough to care about 8 pounds then he isn't going to make it very long in any relationship. Both men and women gain and lose weight in relationships. As long as you love each other for who they are, then weight doesn't matter. Of course, if it becomes a health issue, that is another story.

[palek]

Anyone who would leave a woman, expecially one he professes to love, merely because she gained 8 pounds is both shallow and despicable! Though I could understand if it was 9 pounds.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. It's only 8 pounds. As long as you don't let it get out of hand, I think you'll be fine.

Though I don't know if I'm the best to ask because I have a wide variety of body types that I find attractive

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt he'll even notice, but if he does and has a problem with it then he's probably a jerk anyway. You're still within the normal weight range for your height.

[Anonymous]

if she were my girlfriend I wouldn't leave her even at an 800lbs increase

[pr3ttybr0wn]

If you're 5'6 I doubt he'd even notice.