Do you call it out when you detect a toxic compliment?

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

AKA - backhanded compliment

E. g. "You're actually pretty, just lose 2-3 k. g."

Right away or keep observing for a while?

What you say to that person?

[ZackBan]

I usually reply with sarcasm if it's someone's that's older, like a relative or a friend of my parents.

If it's someone my age I would go straight to the old "that's not what your mom said"

[Juxtapose]

I'd tell them they looked pretty until they opened their mouth.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Only if I can say that line too. Sometimes, it's older people or senoir co-workers. I just keep my mouth shut.

[Juxtapose]

If you want people to respect you you must stand up for yourself even if it is inconvenient though. I sympathize with your situation but nobody can really help you here except yourself.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

I'm working on it. I learned about "I feel..." and distanced myself from those people if possible. Now, recently, my ex-student who knows that person contacted me asking that his brother would like to learn Thai with me too. I am preparing in advance if I happen to meet her again. It's the way she kept talking about figures. (She's slim and always self-complimented, that's fine.) When she talked about other women who're chubbier, it's not kind at all. I was annoyed to be around her anymore.

[Juxtapose]

It's good that you are working on voicing yourself and the skinny obsessed woman that sounds insecure.

Frankly women who are chubbier (within reason) are waaaay more attractive vs skinny women. Thick thighs, I don't see her damn ribs, bigger tits, a softer body to cuddle.. etc you get it.

[Juxtapose]

*and the skinny obsessed woman sounds insecure

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

So true. My close friends are full-figured and very nice. Plus, they are very smart. Thank you very much.

[Juxtapose]

Certainly and thanks for mho 👍

Sounds like your friends would make for some hot dates. I hope they find some good guys.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

You're welcome. Alas, they are single now. I'm actually planning to build a community for single ladies (&moms). Lol

[madgoat]

Sometimes. But they are designed to pass under your notice until you think of them later. Then it's a case of being aware of their game and catching them next time. And it really depends on whether they've got your best interests at heart.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

You're right. Most of the time I suspect them scheming something that quite manipulative. Together with signs of lack empathy from what I have learned... the patterns of behaviors.

[sawno]

I never get them, if it is its usually in a joking form and meant light hearted so then I joke back.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

That's good for you.

[Miah04]

I will end the convo.

I see no reason to speak with someone who has no respect for me

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Yes. It shows disrespect. As I've observed so far, maybe it's the value they have? If each one has values or beliefs in different things, it's hard to respect the opposite's. Still, trying to appear friendly because of fear to be lonely?

[bobalife]

I used to but I don’t waste my energy and time on it, so I dont feel to reply most of the time

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

I agree. It's draining.

[bobalife]

I rather just go drink boba tea🙂‍↔️

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Haha. Yesss... You look like Jessica Rabbit @bobalife 🫦🐰😊

[bobalife]

Oh, who’s that? Haha

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

www.google.com/search

Come on... I'm not that old. Lol

[bobalife]

Hahahaha oh, she’s gorgeous, I’d take that as a compliment!☺️

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Sure. You are gorgeous.

[bobalife]

Aw you’re too sweet, thank you! 🥹🌸

[ManInChains]

Absolutely but I'm always attacked and ridiculed for doing so

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Same. Some people are so insecure, they just want to project the negativity.

[handsomelad70]

Usually I chalk up such left-handed compliments (fancy a portsider such as I saying "left-handed compliment" ) as a sign of the speaker's ignorance.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

That is a good way. I agree. Just point out what you noticed. By the way, if that person is a narcisisst, they might reply back with "No. You're just being pessimistic. I didn't mean that."

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

*Narcissist.

[handsomelad70]

I'm sorta narcisisstic.

[sheikalana]

I would answer back immediately. I would pick on something ugly related to their appearance throw it on their face. The audacity of saying such thing to someone is crazy.

[dustybiker2]

That's just their inner turmoil talking. Yeah. I'm all over it.

[demonics]

Its how men/parents communicate. "You'd be hotter if yo did X." Its not that serious.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

But I don't think it's a healthy interaction. Same as comparing us to other women. I'd lose interest in the man who does so.

[sirderpsalot123]

I'll take a half compliment lol

[Miah04]

Naw. You deserve better

[sirderpsalot123]

@Miah04 thanks buddy lol

[DrPepper12]

I don't do that but I would let it go

[VV3ZZY123]

Naa I'd call it out. I'd say some curse words.

[Iron_Man]

Pretty much

[impalabill77]

Yes I do.