How Loving Yourself Can Improve Connections With Family And Friends
Hi guys and girls. I hope your day is fantastic!!!!! In this MyTake, I will be covering 20 ways to love yourself and how it can improve and create connections amongst family and friends. Loving yourself means that you accept EVERYthing you are and have to offer. You do not have to like it or love it but you accept it as your reality. Loving yourself means that you recognize the significance of self care, compassion, positive self esteem, and unconditional radical acceptance. I will give you inside tips from cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy that has aided many in practicing self love and gaining confidence.
Let's get started:
1. Focus On Self
The first step to loving oneself is to literally focus on yourself. Many people get so caught up in trying to fix other people's problems that it's impossible to take care of themselves. You have to leave room for "me" time. During this time, is where your character, morals, and values can be shaped. This is the time to obtain your individual identity and the things you are most passionate about. Focusing on yourself helps you to grow as an individual without so many different exterior influences. If you can not focus on yourself and meeting your own needs then loving yourself will be impossible.
2. Affirmations/ Gratitudes
You will need to start using affirmations and gratitudes everyday for any automatic negative thoughts you have. You will need to follow up with a believable affirmation and one thing you are grateful for. This is not an overnight cure but is a practice that needs to be done everyday if you seek to gain cognitive benefits. If you are not familiar with these cognitive tools please familiarize yourself with them using the references down below 👇👇👇
BTW: If You Complete The Article You Would Have Said 20+ Affirmations And Gratitudes. So Pat Yourselves On The Back And Do It Again Tomorrow💜
3. Exercise/ Intuitive Movement
Exercise is the most underutilized medicine. Exercise is just as important as what you eat. Your body needs movement and craves it. You are doing your body a disservice when you are not constantly challenging your muscles to keep them strong. If you neglect your body it will show and influence negative maladaptive behaviors and ways of coping. If exercise is just not your "thing" maybe consider intuitive movement. Intuitive Movement is a physical wellness practice that's centered around moving your body, listening to your body, and just doing what feels good. That could be just a stroll in the park, walking at the beach, stretching/yoga, light weight training, playing a sport, playing on the playground, playing tag, etc. Intuitive Movement is not intense and should be motivating and fun. 20-45 mins of intuitive movement daily can drastically increase your amount of self love, improve confidence, and improve emotional and physical connections.
4. Clean Eating
Poor eating habits can hinder your ability to practice self love. If you have a poor diet some common side effects are depression, anxiety, inflammation, increased stress, mood swings, fatigue, mania, manic depression, diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, tooth decay, always getting sick, and body aches and pains. If you follow a good clean diet you will notice the positive changes to mood, perspective, appearance, and attitude. If you want to show your body some love then give it a break from the obnoxious amounts of sugars, salts, and fats. After one day of clean eating you will notice immediately a change in mood, outlook, and motivation. Food is fuel and needs to be respected. You wouldn't put regular gas in a Lamborghini would you? Why wouldn't you? Ding ding you're right!!!! The regular gas will destroy the car. So stop destroying your body with cheap fuel. Love yourself enough to eat in moderation and choose
If you have never had a job or hate the one you currently have then it's time to make a career change. If you notice you are not content with your current career path or choices then do something different. It may be necessary to go back to school, finish your degree, or earn your diploma in order to start following your dreams, so do it. Love yourself enough to stop making excuses and actively work at finding your niche and purpose in this life. No one is going to come and tell you who you are and what your want to be, you will have to discover it for yourself. In order to do so you need to get out and try new things. Find out exactly what you like and don't like and find a job that compliments that. It will not be easy but it's possible. This will improve your self esteem and self love because you will discover where you fit in and contribute to the world.
6. Look Good, Feel Good
Ever heard the saying "If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they pay good." This quote couldn't be more true. If you have low self-esteem, you're insecure, or pessimistic, sometimes looking good will change your whole perspective for that day. So even if you feel depressed, unmotivated, and sad just get up and put yourself together like you are none of those things. Do not isolate, ignore hygiene, stop grooming, and taking care of yourself. It's very close to the "placebo" effect. Putting on a nice outfit, doing your hair, and grooming your appearance will automatically make you think you are having a great day because of the hormone dopamine that is released after obtaining achievements. Being proud in your appearance will increase overall self love and compassion.
7. Set Boundaries For Toxic Relationships
If you have toxic friends and family you need to start making executive decisions about their places in your lives. For some just setting a boundary will be sufficient but for most it will not. In the event that placing healthy boundaries and communicating your needs effectively does not work then it is best recommended to walk away. If you are not sure how to identify a toxic person or how to deal with them please use the references below to learn more 👇👇👇
8. Reach Out And Ask For Support
Loving yourself means that you are willing to ask for help when you need it. You do not put your feelings, wants, and needs on the back burner. Instead, you put them in the forefront and make them the focal point. You can call a good friend or relative and ask for financial assistance, food, or shelter if it's absolutely necessary and you simply can not provide it for yourself at that time. It is critical to not get so comfortable asking for support that you stop giving it to yourself. It is very easy to become hopelessly dependent on others for survival but this will only lead to you not being able to love yourself properly. "Don't be afraid to ask for help or to help yourself".
9. Self Help
Self help should always be a first choice. Before you ask anyone for help you should attempt to help yourself. Helping yourself can include but not limited to counseling, therapy, mindfulness practice, meditation, crisis support line, and utilizing your cognitive skills and tools taught in my previous MyTake. After you have tried EVERY avenue to try and aid yourself, then begin to seek outside support. Never do this before you help yourself. You need to be confident in your life so much so that you know what your problems are and how to solve them.
Try doing something selfless to improve self love. It is very fulfilling to help and aid others in need. It is a great way to generate a fresh perspective. You will see others who struggle worse than yourself and it will show that may be your problems are not as bad as you think they are. Things could always be worse no matter the situation. This type of perspective can be similar to that of gratitudes. So get out there and give back to the community and help the environment. Being selfless increases self worth which in turn increases self love.
11. Try A New Hobby/Sport Or Learn A Skill
A huge step to loving yourself is to discover your passions and talents. The only way to discover a new talent is to get out there and try it. Maybe sports interests you more than college but you don't know because you've never tried to do a sport. What if you're interested in musical instruments but never took the time to learn to play anything? You cannot love yourself or your life if you don't know what your purpose is. Learning skills, sports, or new hobbies is not always easy. It can be costly and frankly frustrating If it is too difficult. So start small and take baby steps when you are getting out there and learning new things. Don't give it up so quickly if you don't excel right away. Give 90 days of consistency and hard work before giving up the next time you try something new. Who knows, it could grow on you.
12. Build New And Positive Experiences
When you love yourself you will make an effort to build new and positive experiences. This means getting out and trying new things. It is easy to stay stuck at home and stay on the internet all day but those are not meaningful experiences. You should go on vacations to new places, go to a new bar/nightclub, hang out with friends, go to a party, try snowboarding or ice skating, maybe hike through a mountain or cave, go to a new lake and walk around, the possibilities are endless. If you are living a monotonous life it will reflect in your self esteem and connections with others. You need to ensure you are living an exciting and fulfilling life doing things you want to do. Do not limit yourself if it is not necessary. You only get one life so experience new things, take pictures to remember the moments, and reminisce whenever you can on all the good memories. If you have more bad memories than good memories then you need to start building new and positive experiences immediately.
13. Date Yourself
It is time to start treating yourself like the kings and queens you are. Do you like going to the movies but can't find anyone to go with? If so, why not just go by yourself? There is something empowering for men and women when you can go do something you love alone, and enjoy it. Your happiness is your responsibility. So if you want to sit down and eat at a fancy restaurant without a date, then do it. Stop missing out on life because you don't have anyone to experience it with. You come into the world alone and you leave the same way. So take yourself on a date. Go do something YOU like!!!!! Do you like to skate or bowl? No friends or family? No problem, just take yourself. If you love yourself then start showing yourself a good time. You deserve it and are worthy of it. You deserve to be happy by yourself.
14. Be Your Most Authentic Self
Embrace yourself with flaws included. You can only be you because everyone else is taken. There is nothing wrong with being inspired or following a role model. This only becomes a problem when you forget yourself in the pursuit to be someone else. You forget your place in life and seek to find a new place with a new persona in very destructive ways. Just focus on nurturing who you are and embracing everything you have to offer. This is especially true for those who "catfish". These people need self love the most. If you find yourself in a place where you can't even be the same person online as in person you need to start loving yourself and making yourself better today.
15. Avoid Comparisons
You can never effectively love yourself if you keep comparing every aspect of your life to someone else. Everyone has different challenges and struggles which is not comparable unless you can live in their shoes. You also can not base your self esteem and worth off of the successes or failures of another. Comparisons are not always bad. It can be used as a motivational tool to better yourself. Comparisons only become a problem when you use them to determine your self worth and value. Your worth should never be based off of what another person is doing or how they feel.
16. Avoid Asking For Constant Validation
Loving yourself means that you know exactly who you are with all the flaws included. With this level of awareness you can validate yourself in whichever way you need. Seeking external validation can be a great tool to make sure you are making good decisions but like most things you don't want to over do it. When you start asking for validation EVERY day for EVERY little thing, it is indicative of a bigger problem. That problem being no self love or confidence. If you find it hard to make a move or do anything without the input of someone else you need to start practicing self love today. So for one day do not ask of any validation and validate yourself and see how you feel. Being self sufficient in this department could potentially aid in relationships with others and your relationship with self.
17. Stop Over Apologizing
Stop apologizing for being who you are if it doesn't hurt anyone. If you are not causing emotional, psychological, or physical pain to another then you have nothing to apologise for. Apologizing in itself is not a problem but doing it in excess is indicative of a lack of confidence and self esteem. You are essentially apologizing for being your most authentic self and you shouldn't. Your most authentic self should actually be embraced not shunned. So a fun little experiment to try would be going 24 hrs and not apologizing for anything if you didn't do anything wrong.
19. Compete With Yourself
EVERYone is not competing with you. EVERYthing is not a competition. Healthy competition is definitely okay. Competition becomes a problem when you start competing in everything you do. The only person you need to be competing with, is with the person you were a day ago, a week ago, a year ago, etc. You only need to be competing with the younger versions of yourself so that you can improve and mature as you get older.
20. Stay Away From "Karpman's Triangle"
This one is my absolute favorite, therefore I saved it for last. Above I have included a picture of Karpman's Triangle please take a moment to view it. Karpman's Triangle is a cognitive tool used to aid in getting out of roles and start problem solving. You can be in 1 of 3 roles at all times or you can choose to not be in a role and use your problem solving skills. As you advance on your journey of self love and confidence you will need to take great effort to avoid getting and staying in any of the roles listed above. You can not effectively or appropriately function if you are constantly jumping between victim, persecutor, and rescuer roles. Sometimes you will need to take on these roles but not all the time. You should not always feel like you are in any of the categories listed above. If you do I would be more than happy to cover a mytake specifically for this AMAZING cognitive tool and how to get into the logical brain so you can start problem solving. That's all I have. Thanks for reading
Thank you guys for stopping by and leaving feedback. If you would like any follow up mytakes for clarification please let me know. My closing remarks for the readers is this, loving yourself is not easy and takes great effort and time to achieve. So do not give up if you don't get instant results. Loving yourself is a full-time job and if you have been "no call, no show" your entire life you will have to work twice as hard to get there. So don't shy away from the challenge. Start Loving Yourself Today!!!!
This is a NEGATIVE FREE ZONE!!!! So be kind to one another and spread joy. If you have personal questions or off topic questions please direct message them. I will not be answering them on public posts. Thanks for understanding and respecting my privacy!!!!! Disclaimer: I do not own or profit off of the Illustrations utilized in this post. Please give credit to the artists and support their works by giving a like or a follow to their pages. They are extremely talented and deserve recognition. Sending ☮️ and love.
Yours Truly, Secret6620🧜🧚🧞
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Have A Wonderful COLORFUL Day!!!!