Would you ever leave a partner because they gained significant weight?

[OlderAndWiser]

I can't imagine what it is like to be THIS big!

It is PC approved to say that appearance doesn't matter and OF COURSE we shouldn't "fat shame" anyone. That means that you aren't supposed to have any negative thoughts or feelings towards anyone just because they weigh as much as a baby elephant. That's a wonderfully exalted and elegant theory of the way things ought to be but it simply fails to account for the real world.

For real people, appearance is a big factor in physical attraction. I am attracted to some women and not others; I like petite, diminutive women who have a cute face. I am not attracted to significantly overweight women. You can send me to a PC re-education center and have me sit through sensitivity training classes until the cows come home

and I still won't be attracted to seriously overweight women. I have dated women who were 10-20 pounds overweight but that is the limit for me. I never told a girl that I did not want to date her because of her size, but I never dated a girl who I thought was abnormally large.

Fortunately, none of my partners in long term relationships ever gained any substantial weight while we were together. I'm not sure that I would have left them because of that. I probably would have talked to them, inquired about possible depression, medical conditions causing weight gain, offered to help them with dieting and exercise, etc. But I don't think I could stay in a relationship with a woman who was 5' 4" and 190 pounds.

Could you do it? Could you stay with a partner if they gained a significant amount of weight?

(SJW's: If you don't like what I said, I don't want to hear from you! Save you opinion for someone who actually cares about what you think.)

Weight does not affect my attraction to a potential partner

I actually prefer a partner who "has some meat on their bones"

I prefer a partner who is not overweight but I would never leave them because of weight gain, even if they had no desire or motivation to lose the weight

I prefer a partner who is not overweight but I would never leave them because of weight gain, unless they gained 50 pounds or more and refused to try to lose it

I prefer a partner who is not overweight but I would never leave them because of weight gain, unless they gained 25 pounds or more and refused to try to lose it

I prefer a partner who is not overweight but I would never leave them because of weight gain, unless they gained 15 pounds or more and refused to try to lose it

I prefer a partner who is not overweight and if they gain any substantial weight, that relationship is history!

Updates

+1 y

Attention SJW and White Knight preachers: I asked you to not respond, but you have ignored that, so. . . if you post anything attacking others who say that the physical appearance of their partner is important, please begin your first post with a disclosure of your current weight and height. I think it is important for us to know whether you are an overweight person with "a chip on your shoulder." If you don't post the disclosure, I will probably block you as soon as I see your post.

[CubsterShura]

I just can't imagine how horrible life would be if every man kept leaving his woman because she gained a lot of weight. I can't imagine how it could affect their children especially. My mom was skinny when married my father but overtime she gained weight and now she's quite obese. My dad didn't leave her. In all seriousness: come here and ask a couple this question and see how they freak out. No wonder divorce rate in other countries is so high.

Do you forget everything your partner did for you once he or she gains weight? Eww, if it does then you're a horrible person. Forget all the love, all the sacrifices, all the struggles, not only for you but also your children if you have any, let's fucking dump that fat ass for gaining weight! Wow. Excellent!

What would I do if my partner gained weight? Well if I start feeling concerned about his health I'll talk to him. Give him good suggestions. Encourage him to change some of his lifestyle habits. JOIN him in his fitness journey. No fast food for him, no fast food for me too. Exercise daily for him, I'll join him in exercising too. I understand that weight gain can be caused by so many other factors and it's not always something that we can control. But here's the deal: I'll never love him less for something like weight gain. That's ridiculous!

[latinabutterfly96]

The Asker, @RationalMale and the other men need to read this. It is shitty how a large percentage of men said that they’d leave their partner because of her weight gain.

They’re not leaving her because of how “unhealthy” she’s becoming. They’re not leaving her because of “her low self esteem” or “because she’s given up on herself.”

They’d leave her because they’re ashamed to be seen with her, and they’re afraid that they’re not going to fuck a cute sexy girl anymore.

I hate how men have turned out. I’m disgusted and makes me sick to my stomach at how shallow they can be.

[CubsterShura]

@latinabutterfly96 anyone who says that they are doing it because of their partner's health concerns is a fucking liar. You don't deal with your loved one's health concerns like that... Or might as well leave your parents too once they get old and can't live by themselves and needs someone to take care of them right?

In our gym I hear a LOT of overweight women worrying about loose skin once they lose a certain amount of fat and discover the skin on their arms and stomach sagging. If people really cared about health and not looks then no one on their weight loss journey would feel discouraged by extra skin.

[OlderAndWiser]

@latinabutterfly96 What is your height and weight?

[latinabutterfly96]

@OlderAndWiser I’m 5’7” and I’m 135 lbs.

Yep. Not all women who call out cruelty are fat, Asker.

@CubsterShura I don’t understand how a man doesn’t get that. I genuinely don’t get how they don’t see this.

[latinabutterfly96]

This thread makes me feel bad about my own relationship. I thought my boyfriend really loved me, but if he shares these men’s opinions, the “I’ll love you forever” is a fake promise. This is disgusting to know.

[CubsterShura]

@latinabutterfly96 well I don't know your boyfriend so I have no comments on that. But people really refuse to realize how DANGEROUS and life-threatening obsession over looks can be.

I once read on a Facebook post by a doctor that he once witnessed a 20-ish year old girl in their hospital who had breast cancer but it could have been cured if her breasts were removed/reduced. But her parents refused to do that surgery on her even when doctors explained that there won't be any scars left and later they can do one more surgery to look normal... They just did not want to reduce her size cause then SHE WON'T GET A HUSBAND. They took her elsewhere and tried to cure her without surgery. A few months later the same girl came back with the cancer being spread all over her body. She wasn't brought for treatment but rather for a death certificate because saving her life became impossible.

How terrible that we have to live up to beauty standards even if means it shortens our lifespan.

[musicbrain5]

I'd only leave if he gained a huge amount of weight, became obese, and didn't want to do anything about it. If it's some kind of illness causing it, I would support him in seeking treatment for it. I just want him to be as healthy as possible.

I get that weight fluctuates for people for different reasons. I've been through it myself. For reference, I'm 6'1" (so the total opposite of petite/diminutive), relatively athletic/skinny frame. At my highest weight I was 195 lbs and it was getting to a point where you could see it a little bit. At my lowest I was 140 lbs. I had been going through really bad periods of depression, anxiety, and panic attacks through those periods and I just wreaked havoc on my body with not enough food and then excessive amounts of bad food and too much alcohol.

So I get it, I really do. He helped me, so I would want to help him if he were ever in that situation. Me dumping him over a small amount of weight gain would likely just make everything worse, but as I said, I'd want him to start reversing it and get healthier.

[musicbrain5]

That was a quick upvote, thanks.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are very welcome!

[musicbrain5]

I wish the down voter would specify what part of my answer they disagree with. My hypothetical answer to the question, or the true story about my experience?

[silverqueen]

Well, for me, yes. I would eventually leave him. I think being attractive physically is part of why I date him in the first place. Of course, it's not 100% of why I would date a guy but it is part of it. When you lose part of that, it doesn't mean we place a priority on your looks over EVERYTHING else. When something changes, nothing is the same anymore. The relationship eventually fades off. It's not our fault (or any girls' fault) if we decide to leave a man because of his weight gain. That's just how it is, we don't feel the same way towards you and that is how we feel. Period.

[OlderAndWiser]

Exactly! This is an MHO answer!

[silverqueen]

But, if the guy expects the woman to be good looking and fit, he has to be good looking and fit too. It is unfair if a guy expects her to look pretty but he doesn't take care of himself.

[musicbrain5]

So would you leave no matter what, or only after you know for sure he isn't trying to get healthier?

[silverqueen]

@musicbrain5 If he is getting rid of the fat, then I would stay. But if he really is. Some people just talk about losing weight but never do. I'm a very active person and i workout regularly. I stay healthy. And I expect my partner to do the same.

[silverqueen]

@musicbrain5 No matter what people say, sex life is affected by their looks. A guy wouldn't be able to satisfy a woman if he gains a lot of weight. That is FACT. Women sometimes stay because society shames them for not staying, and I find that wrong. I have the right to leave if I no longer find him attractive. There.

[musicbrain5]

Okay yeah, I feel the same way.

[FatherJack]

I agree , I became repulsed by my ex wife , huge weight gain and she was just a lazy slob. Slobs turn off any sane person !!

[silverqueen]

@FatherJack Hold on, did you have children with her?

[silverqueen]

@FatherJack If you left her, I think leaving her for being fat and leaving the children wasn’t a good idea (I’m only assuming that you did, correct me if I’m wrong). In that case, you need to make sacrifices for your children.

[FatherJack]

I have... I am a single parent as a result , I packed her off back to her parents and took majority custody. It's actually easier being a lone parent , than having her around , I always ran the household /did all chores , no different from before , she did nothing and was more a burden than an asset... apart from her earnings.

[silverqueen]

@FatherJack So you didn’t leave her because she got fat, you left her because she got inconsiderate and selfish. That’s different and completely reasonable.

[RationalMale]

Actually yes.

I was dating a girl who was overweight, but personality wise we were pretty great. Near the beginning she showed initiative to work out and eat right, and I thought "Hey! She's wants to improve, so this will be fine!"

Theeeennn she basically lost all interest in working out, I doubted she was trying to diet, and that was it. I tried being super gentle, sent her links on how exercise helps anxiety, offered to buy her health supplements that help with anxiety... nada. If you're fairly overweight in your prime and not interested in getting fit... imagine that with 20 pounds extra after a first kid?

I don't expect a girl to go from overweight to Caity Lotz i2.wp.com/.../Caity-Lotz-Booty.jpg in six months, but when someone loses all interest in jogging or going for a workout swim (she had a pool, had PLENTY of free time, and swimming is a fantastic, gentle workout) then you know that they will basically never be healthy weight for you. It was the kiss of death.

[RationalMale]

Forgot to add, she has a new boyfriend. Imagine your cliche country boy with a big belly and a round fat face. I feel bad knowing the health issues she'll be having at 35, but I tried so frickin hard to encourage her to even go for a 20 minute swim on a day off.

[navyrobin]

So... you would leave a woman you love, because of her weight?

You do understand that being overweight isn't necessarily linked to health issues, right? Being obese, definitely. But being overweight (not obese)? Not at all necessary. That's a shallow perspective of yours.

[OlderAndWiser]

@navyrobin He lived through the experience and he know how he felt. He can't make himself feel anything differently just to satisfy the PC sense of what's right. If you are not attracted to someone, you are supposed to force yourself to stay even though the feelings are gone? Would you want someone in a relationship to lie to you and say that they felt attracted when they actually did not?

[navyrobin]

If that’s the case, it would mean he is prioritizing her looks over her personality and the way she is. He is prioritizing her physique over actual love for her.

That is called a selfish man. It’s not about what he can control or what he can’t control. If that’s what he feels, she (and every woman that meets him) is better off without him.

[RationalMale]

@navyrobin Leave her because she was very overweight and not interested in even light exercise on her days off?
100%. She still has really bad anxiety alas. Personality wise we matched fantastic (still do) but when I finally realized she was never going to *not* be fat, it was the kiss of death.

When we talked about things that were super important to us, she told me she absolutely wanted to get married and have kids within a few years.

I asked if she'd be willing to have long hair for me (she had this amazing gorgeous long hair when we met, about nipple length, then cut it off) and exercise regularly with me. (I exercise maybe 4 times a week and am in decent shape.)

She laughed and said she felt like my wants were really stupid. I felt like asking someone to keep their old hairstyle and be healthy was not asking much at all. (when we were dating, this girl had LOTS of time to work out if she wanted.)

[OlderAndWiser]

@navyrobin No, it just means that both are important! Are you an overweight girl with a chip on her shoulder?

[OlderAndWiser]

Actually, I think I have heard enough preaching from the SJW on duty!

[latinabutterfly96]

I actually understand what this girl is saying. I get angry at this because one of my best friends killed herself in senior year high school, because she’d gained 30 pounds (thyroid disease) and she knew she could never be the same size again.

Her boyfriend left her. The guys that liked her left her. Even her dad almost disowned her. She didn’t know about her disease until later on. But I think it’s extremely sad, that nowadays girls have to put up with this because this is one of the main reasons why girls suffer more from low self esteem, anorexia and depression. Because they’ve been pressured to look unrealistic 24/7. This shouldn’t be happening.

A man who LOVES a woman should care about her. A man who loves a woman doesn’t leave her just because she can no longer satisfy him. Also, being overweight isn’t necessarily linked to disease. Obesity, DEFINITELY is linked to sickness. Not chubbiness

[RationalMale]

@navyrobin Selfishness is when you won't meet a person halfway. Do you hear me blaming her that her dealbreaker was she wanted kids? Do you hear me calling her selfish? Nah. You gotta respect what's important to people.

Funny enough, I did meet someone who also had a bad issue, but wanted to get better. Met this cute Alabama girl who, like the overweight girl, had awful anxiety. (I have near panic attacks when faced with surgery. This girl had a near panic attack at the thought of going home after the date.)

Unlike the overweight girl, she was interested in fixing her issues. I suggested magnesium, because it does wonders for anxiety. She bought it a day later and soon messaged me so excited that she already felt less stressed. in one week that girl did more to self improve than my ex ever did about her anxiety.

[latinabutterfly96]

I’m not hating or anything I’m just... I know where she coming from. It is sad. It makes me very sad.

[RationalMale]

@latinabutterfly96 I was trying to be polite about my ex. She is medically obese. She would have to drop probably 70 pounds to look anything similar to how fit Caity Lotz is. And no, she didn't have a thyroid problem. Near the beginning, she actually did exercise and lose weight.

Then she lost all her drive and started gaining. She refused to even take any supplements even when I offered to buy her pricey nice flavored powders that you add to drinks. (she was too anxious to swallow capsules.)

That's life. If you can't handle guys having standards... well, life's going to be tough for you.

[latinabutterfly96]

@RationalMale I wouldn’t call that standards by any means. Standards is when a person doesn’t only think about themselves. A guy who wants his girlfriend to lose weight is a guy who wants his girlfriend to look good for *him* and to be able to show her off. I don’t know, but to me that sounds pretty superficial. Don’t mind me. But okie.

[latinabutterfly96]

And it’s not just guys. Girls do it too. A LOT. Every girl I know would never date a slightly chubby guy and I find that very sad. I’m just a sad person. But I don’t place physique as such an important trait, because I know what love really is.

[RationalMale]

@latinabutterfly96 You really want to throw out "look unrealistic?" Girl, I've met a shit ton of women who were healthy weight. It's not an unrealistic expectation. Go to a fucking gym or walk around on a college campus. That's like guys bitching at you "women only want rich guys who make over minimum wage."

Fuck off. BLOCKED>

[RationalMale]

@latinabutterfly96 And yes, I want a girl who's willing to look good for me. When I date a girl I'm literally both willing and expected that if she was in danger, I'd dish out or take a bullet if needed for her. She can at least jog a few times a week!

[Anonymous]

I thought the whole point of falling in love with a woman was because of her as a whole, especially her personality and soul.

I don’t understand how a guy, who’s apparently in love with a girl, would leave her just because she has gained weight. That places absolutely no toll on the relationship, unless you’re egocentric and selfish enough to leave her because of it.

In that case, the woman is better off without you. She dodged a bullet.

[OlderAndWiser]

"I thought the whole point of falling in love with a woman was because of her as a whole." Yes, and the whole includes physical attraction. That is what makes the difference between friendship and love. I would not marry someone who is just a great friend. I would not share my bed with someone who is a terrific lady if I am not physically attracted.

[navyrobin]

"I don’t understand how a guy, who’s apparently in love with a girl, would leave her just because she has gained weight. That places absolutely no toll on the relationship, unless you’re egocentric and selfish enough to leave her because of it."

[navyrobin]

A guy said that, not a girl.

Men these days have this crazy idea that they deserve a pretty skinny girl with big boobs and a tight ass, even if he's the fattest ugliest piece of shit alive.

I feel sick just thinking about how cancerous men have become.

[OlderAndWiser]

@navyrobin Maybe you should stop dating us deplorables! How disgusting that men want a partner who they find to be physically attractive! How selfish!

[navyrobin]

I’ll fix it for you.

How disgusting that a man, who is apparently in love with a woman, would actually leave her BECAUSE OF HER WEIGHT GAIN. What happened to “till death do us part” if he’s married to her? What does “I love you” mean to men like you? That you are attracted to her, 90% because of her looks and 10% because of her personality?

THAT is what’s disgusting. The fact that you can’t see this, and the fact that you’re 63 years old and can’t see this? THAT is deplorable.

[navyrobin]

@Anonymous I don’t know where men have you have gone, but I’m sure you’ve hid pretty well from the rest of men. We’ve been left with selfish, closed-minded sexist men who have become so selfish and delusional to the point that they cannot see their own wrongdoings. I thought LOVE meant that you placed a more important priority on someone’s soul and personality (as you said). If that were the case, he wouldn’t leave her because of her weight gain. That’s not only the most shallow thing I’ve heard men say, it is also sick that they’d think looks win over a woman’s personality. Is that what men call “love” nowadays?

[navyrobin]

Men like you* have gone

[Opinion Owner]

@navyrobin I get where you’re coming from and it is one of the main reasons why I hate this modern world.

[Mohamedmo]

You said we love especially for her personality and sol ok im with you. now do you think that someone have good personality don't want to improve. Overweight or obese are make many straggler to relations and this guy or girl didn't get serious with it he or she will not get serious for anything else and that's clear that human have bad and not changing personality and that's enough for me to make it over.

[Opinion Owner]

@Mohamedmo But think about it man. Lots of guys still don’t leave their girlfriend if she’s lazy and a slob. Why don’t they leave her? Because she is skinny.

But the second she gets fat they leave. Eve if she cleans, even if she’s not lazy. Being fat doesn’t mean you’re lazy. I used to be obese, and now I’m at a normal weight. Of course it improved my health. But i would feel worthless if a woman only found me attractive because of how I look. I would feel pathetic if a girlfriend dumped me the second I got fat. I would feel used and deceived of what I thought was love was actually a shallow mask.

[Mohamedmo]

I understand you and i agree with you. But i said i break only if want to change to improve and thats there difference between you other overweight that still zero point or getting worst olny If it was an Illness.

[Opinion Owner]

@Mohamedmo I didn’t get that last comment lol...

[Mohamedmo]

It We can't stay with nigative human that didn't want to improve.

[Opinion Owner]

@OlderAndWiser As for your update, I'm not a white knight. I'm just a person who understands the meaning of love. Love is blind, literally. There's a reason why people still use that phrase.

[Mohamedmo]

Bro get it easy just move on try to improve yourself that's the point and it not impossible

[Mohamedmo]

And sorry if I heart you 😊

[OlderAndWiser]

For most of us, a relationship is love AND lust! Both are important. If you can get satisfied having sex with a girl who weighs 400 pounds, that is good news for girls who weigh 400 pounds. However, those of us who want physical attraction as well as love are not shallow. That is just a name that SJW's call us to make themselves feel superior. There is a sweet satisfaction in convincing yourself that you have occupied the moral high ground. However, the fact that you are convinced of your righteousness does not actually prove that you are right.

[Mohamedmo]

Beautifull speak but i don't know if you speak with me or not cause I don't say anything like that

[PrincessPie]

I prefer a partner who is not overweight but I would never leave them because of weight gain, unless they gained 50 pounds or more and refused to try to lose it. Is probably most accurate to how I feel because I have no issues with them gaining a few pounds here and the heck even I do, but if they have ZERO motivation to try and lose it then I’d almost feel like they’d given up on themselves which obviously isn’t very attractive and would make me wonder if they even cared about our relationship

[PrincessPie]

Here and there*

[Logorithim]

No, at least not without trying hard to help her lose the weight she gained (doesn't apply to weight gain for medical reasons). It's about her Health, above all, but another factor is that I like doing outdoors activities like hiking, and I don't want to do them without my girlfriend, but of she is too big, she can't.

[Lovi87]

If they're obese, then no. I'd leave. If they've gained some (like I have)
then I'd want them to work on losing it through dieting and working out.

You can gain weight for many reasons...

> Mental illness medication like mine
> Being agoraphobic and not being able to leave the house
> Depressed and comfort eating
> Not sleeping properly
> Not eating the correct calories a day
> Eating too much
> Depression. (Can lose and gain)

I was 8 stone as a teen. Never went below it, and became 9 and 1/2 stone every monthly cycle of my period.

Now I'm 31 and I'm 14 stone (196 pounds) last I checked. I'm on medication, not sleeping properly, not drinking enough water, and not able to leave my house. I also have depression so I comfort eat. Now I'm dieting and working out as much as I can.

I'm not as motivated yet with battling depression and stress, but I'm not about to give up. I went too thin once, got upset about it, but I was ill. I never want to be thin again, but I don't want to be obese either.

I'm 5ft 8 or 5ft 9.. and my doctor said I'm okay for my age and height, but I have to lose some within the next 3-4 years.

[vishna]

I like guys who are a bit large to begin with, at least 160 pounds or more. So, if he gained like 40 lbs and refused to exercise it off, yea, I don't think I'd stick around... especially not as I get more serious about my own health and working out. But I wouldn't just give up on them, I'd try very hard to make them eat right and work out with me, but at the end of the day.. you can't force another adult what to do with their body... just like you can't force one to stay in a relationship.

I've started online dating again, and I matched with this guy who had really cute profile pictures and we hit it off... then he allows me access to his social media and he's like 30-40 lbs heavier and all the pictures are 3+ years old. And he tells me a few girls have backed out of talking to him bc they say he's too big... and I'm like, my man... why would you catfish people and be surprised they don't appreciate that?

[RationalMale]

A FUCKING MEN TO THAT ATTITUDE! media.giphy.com/media/l0MYDGA3Du1hBR4xG/giphy.gif

[guywithissues900]

I agree. There’s lots of disappointed women who end up ditching or leaving the first date because he was 50lbs heavier in person. No one likes catfish

[vishna]

So many people are being downvoted for totally understandable answers "I'll try to work with him/her but I have my limits" some people here are salty or like catfishing people online >.>

[SaskiaBlueRaySoul]

hi, for me and its goes the same for myself of course everyone can gain a bit of weight, especially as we get older, however, efforts need to be made, for myself and a partner (my imaginary one lol) weight gain would if it happened stimulate a regime to change that both of us included in it, joint effort if this after some time was refused by a partner who continued to not act and grow fatter yes i would potentially end it... after serious work to change it but you can't change anyone in life... if they were not into working on it for us both then ill walk thank you... i won't get so fat im a slob bouncing around on top on you and thus i dont expect the same thank you ; )

[SaskiaBlueRaySoul]

As it happens me and my imaginary partner i have joined into FAT CAMP im calling it which makes my daughter laughs everytime, she said isn't that where americans who dont like their kids send to for the summer? lmao... its called Boot Fit Camp, 8 weeks of early morning army type beasting... i even looked into calorie content on a menu yesterday which is SO not me and opted for a half choice calorie breakfast... so I've set my mind set at this, to go from imaginary partner, get fit as fuck, then perhaps start golfing... to hook myself some around fifties fit rich guy to support me to the end of my days well maybe sixty earlier finish if i sex him to death! ; )

[OlderAndWiser]

Pleasant way to spend your final days!

[SaskiaBlueRaySoul]

f.. k am i about to die then? shit you sound like my kids taking the piss!

[OlderAndWiser]

Pleasant way for HIM to spend HIS final days!

[Cammy137]

Yes. If my partner was unable to take part in the activities we currently love doing together and was putting her health at serious risk with no desire of correcting it, then id have to leave her. Especially if she stopped being attractive to me as the relationship would start to be affected.
If she gained significant weight but realised it was detrimental to her health and wanted to change it then id stay with her and help.
Similarly, I wouldn't hold it against my partner if she broke up with me because I gained significant weight.

[Cammy137]

I love when people downvote comments without actually challenging any aspect of it. It doesn't shock me that it's two females.

[OlderAndWiser]

The PC crowd wants us to act as if relationships don't involve PHYSICAL attraction. It is a Field Of Dreams mentality!

[Cammy137]

I know, it's super childish. I mean is physical attraction everything? Of course not. Is it important and does it play a role in a stable and happy relationship? 100%.

[Burgerboy21]

Well I'm fat myself, obviously, but I think that the body positivity movement has gone too far. We should be encouraged more to do something about our weight and health, not accept it and continue our lazy lifestyles. I desperately want to lose weight and, believe it or not, I run often.

Now about the partner thing, well I'd be a hypocrite to say I'd turn down any large women, because I'm clearly large myself. I definitely accept overweight to an extent; in fact, I prefer just a bit of weight. (I guess that would be "curvy?") But even for me, there is such thing as too heavy. I'm just not sure how that translates as far as specific weight in women goes.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

For me it really matters only if it gets out of hand and they see nothing wrong with it and their behavior becomes somewhat “entitled”.

If we start dating and you’re at 130 and you gain 40 over the next year, I won’t leave because of that but I’ll only leave if you’re no longer trying to challenging yourself, trying to improve yourself and/or try to drag me down as well.

I’m not saying my girl gotta look like a model 24/7, but if I’m busting my ass to look as good for you, I’m expecting somewhat of an effort, as Long as you’re TRYING then that’s all I need because it shows that you want me to find you attractive still

[Kurαȷ]

Being fat is not about appearance, being fat is the result of not having discipline, impulse control and capacity to delay gratification.
It is the perpetuation of poor lifestyle choices for months if not years at a time with no regard for oneself or other people.

This lack of capacity to delay gratification is going to show in all the other areas of the person's life.
If not eating something is a thing that they struggle with, I just have to think of all the other things that the person is not willing to put effort into doing.

When I see a fat person, I don't just see someone who is hideous on the outside, I also see a person who is hideous on the inside.

[navyrobin]

If he gains 20+ lbs, that means he’s not taking care of himself. Self care is important and keeps people attractive. So yes, the attraction would fade away and *eventually* the relationship would crumble. I wouldn’t just say “ok boy you got fat so I’m leaving you now”. I’m not that heartless. But I would leave if they’d continuously refuse to be healthy. Health and activity is important in a relationship, whether anyone tries to deny it or not.

[Chaz269]

Yeah, I'd leave. Not without warning, but I'd definitely not stick around for someone who doesn't care about themselves or me. The PC culture surrounding obesity is just another disease caused by obesity, and ignorance. There are a myriad of health concerns that go hand in hand with being overweight. People who think they can stop paying attention to their health and hygiene just because they finally saddled a long-term partner are just selfish and lazy. Most people experience mild to moderate weight fluctuations, but if you're not trying to mitigate that with diet and exercise, we won't get along.
For me, it's not about looks so much as health. I mean, I like curvaceous women, a lot. But if they're just round, morbidly obese, gotta lift rolls of fat to wash properly... no thanks. Otherwise, if she's happy, healthy and fit enough for an impromptu hike or bike ride, I'm attracted to a wide variety of physical attributes and can get along with most people, especially women.

[OnitheWanderer]

I understand your point of view and if i am to be honest i agree with your assessment. For me, i like girls who are chubby, phat or thick etc. BUT everything has a limit that being said. I don't know if i could date girl that's overweight not because of appearance but for her health mostly. And she must definitely go to a gym lose it asap. (I know I'm sounding like a fat shamer but I'm being honest). So, if my partner gained weight it's fine by me but overweight she must start gym, diet or whatever to lose it. It's all about moderation and limit.

[Malita55]

I prefer for them to be a healthy weight, and i wouldn't leave them if they got too thin or fat but i would if they got so fat that they couldnt do normal activities. Like, once they can't go on a run with me, its over

[Lea96]

If they gain weight i dont care but if they get morbidly obese and don't want to lose it then I would leave because im a gym rat and very fit so i love working out and i want my partner to enjoy working out as well and I would be pissed seeing someone killing themselves like that in front of me by being so unhealthy so if that's the case I would leave

[Swaggirl1]

Only if they turned into a sumo wrestler. A girl can only take so much.

[lumos]

I'm ok with a little bit of weight gain as long as it's not overly unhealthy. But when it gets to the point of being very unhealthy, I would talk to him about it and encourage him to eat healthier and work out. We could do it together. If he doesn't want to or doesn't care, my attraction for him would fade for sure. Whether I'd leave him or not, I'm not entirely sure. It just depends on the situation and his attitude.

[JimRSmith]

I think for me, it would depend on why the weight gain. If it was due to a shitty diet and not exercising, that's a different place to having it happen for some medical reason.

But yes, it would bother me. I would not be pleased at all, if it was the first reason.

[guywithissues900]

You wouldn’t be pleased because... you believe she’s there to satisfy your needs all the time?

[JimRSmith]

@guywithissues900 I wouldn't be pleased because her self esteem would have taken a hit, and because it's not healthy physically.

You sound like a bit of a tool. Your intervention here has got right up my nose. Anybody who knows me is fully aware that I don't think in the way you seem to think I do. Go and play the white knight somewhere else.

[guywithissues900]

@JimRSmith I’m not playing “white knight.” I understand the issues that go on, whether it’s men’s issues or women’s issues or black’s issues. I’m in no way a white knight- I just UNDERSTAND.

How do you know? I know a lot of chubby/fat women whose self esteem is pretty healthy Because, despite the hate they get from people like you, they managed to accept themselves.

[JimRSmith]

@guywithissues900 You don't understand a whole lot of anything, sunshine. Begone.

[Lostranza]

That really depends on whether or not I love them. I think if I didn't love the person it would be easy to ends things but if I did I would want to help them through it and encourage them as much as I can to lose the weight because of their health. If they were somehow in a healthy range of course I would accept them.

[Izumiblu]

Uh. No probably not. It is important to me that he not be but. I don't know. I’d suggest that there are other things that may come about that may cause a breakup. Like why is he suddenly fat. Is it he’s just lazy n sitting around doing nothing? I mean I can’t really deal with that.

[Qwerty_0]

Probably not. They could be going through some tough shit, lord knows I've been there, and sometimes eating feels like the best solution so I'd do my best to help them. If, however, they are just lazy shits and not willing to even go out for a walk or eat something that's green, they can piss off.