I broke up with my long distance partner, he came back saying he missed me, then told me he was dating another person. Why all of this?

[Anonymous]

The last months of our relationship he started getting more controlling and paranoid: he micromanaged my social media, making me me erase old pictures in which I was completely covered, filter followers and followings, and asked me not to post any new picture. Then, he told me I couldn't go to my master's degree celebration party. I sell artwork, and he didn't let me meet with clients. He didn't want me to go on vacation. The last drop was him wanting me not to wear crop tops and not to enrol to the gym.

No matter my loyalty, he was constantly accusing me. If I forgot to update him with pictures about my day he would tell me I was cheating. Any new follower that popped up on my followings list (because they reactivated their account) he would get enraged and say I started following them. When I tried to leave, which I tried several times, he would hit his face and bruise himself.

After our relationship ended I was absolutely traumatised. In fact, I am still. It ended over the gym. So after around two weeks of going no contact, he texted me saying he missed me, he got a job in my city and if everything went well he would move to this city and that his control issues would be much better if he was near me.

Then, he tried to insist that I had to be more patient and that I should humble myself if I ever wanted this to function again. I told him that I didn't accept his reality and he should work on his control issues. Immediately after he started lashing out saying I had to have more faith in God since he was planning to move to my city. He said I lost a man who really loved me. He said that shortly after we broke up he started talking to a new girl (also long distance) and she seems to respect him and love him more than I did. He says he doesn't have the issues he had with me with this girl and that life is blessing him now that he's not with me.

Why did he even text me, told me he missed me and told me about that new job if he was so happy though?

[Anonymous]

I dated a dude like that in 2020, I didn’t really cut things off until the end of last year when I got an actual boyfriend and to this day it’s the best thing I could’ve done. My ex was the same way, and I think something about wanting to control us because of their own insecurities and lack of control over their own lives comes into play. He’s always going to allegedly be moving closer, or things are going to get better. They won’t, he is a grown man and is who he is.

[spartan55]

He lies, there is no other girl. Block that dude PERMANENTLY..