I had surgery and he didn't check on me and now I don't know how to feel?

[CNoelle22]

So I've been seeing this guy for about a month and 2 weeks and it seems like it's moving towards a relationship and I really like him. We've had a few disagreements but overall we don't fight.

He recently left the military and is getting back into civilian life in a new state and starting a new job, all while doing real estate classes from 6-10. I understand he's busy. I had surgery today and he was really hard to get ahold of all day and I'm pretty sure he went to sleep/did something else instead of checking in on me, his class ended at 10 P. M. and I didn't hear from him.

Would this make anyone else's feelings change? We have talked and I told him I was ok and recovering earlier in the day but it really bothers me he didn't even consider checking in on me the night of me having had surgery. It makes me feel like he doesn't care enough to assure I'm alright and it's honestly making me feel some type of way. Like I said, he has a lot of great qualities but this just rubs me the wrong way and I need opinions lol.

[Finchie40]

Don’t make excuses for his actions , it only takes a few seconds to text someone or call someone that you really careabout , the fact the he didn’t check up on you during or after your surgery? , is a red flag that you aren’t really a priority in his life , and shows what kind of person he truly is. Do yourself a favor and move on from him , and find yourself someone that makes you their priority, never settle to be a convenience to anyone , you will only be hurting yourself by thinking that person actually really cares about you , Life is too short , to be strung along by someone that isn’t giving you the same in return. If he truly cared about you , he would be calling and texting you to make sure you are alright. Don’t fall for lame excuses. if he eventually decides to call you? it will only be on his terms when it’s convenient for him. Don’t fall for that nonsense. I dated a girl for a week that I really liked , her and I hit it off the second we met each other , I barely knew her but I enjoyed every second I spent with her. She ended up in the hospital because she had severe pain in her head , The second she was rushed to the hospital , she called me and told me what was happening, At that time, I was out with my friends , I stopped what I was doing , to go be by her side , she was so excited to see me walk into her hospital room with flowers and a teddy bear , she said you didn’t have to stop what you were doing to be here with me. And I said , you are right I didn’t , but I stop what I am doing , for someone that I actually care about. You , if someone can not do that for you , they do not deserve you period , They better have a damn good excuse , if not? Don’t waste anymore of your time with them period.

[normalice]

It's entirely possible he doesn't understand how serious surgery is. He may believe it is akin to saying you took an ibuprofen and a nap or something. If you're looking for "support," it's not that he wouldn't support you, he just doesn't understand why you might need it for this.

Indeed, you're probably not going to find a lot of guys that do understand unless they have some sort of experience. We recover from nearly anything when we are young and thoughts of something happening we can't recover from have to be learned.

[sheikalana]

I think you're just being a bit sensitive/emotional maybe because of your surgery. You're feeling that way because you were expecting him to care for you but hey he's not your boyfriend yet so you shouldn't be expecting anything he doesn't owe you anything. Plus you say when you spoke to him you were okay and recovering so is not like this guy has completely ignored you. Focus on your recovery. All the best.

[sage2021]

My guess would be that he probably didn't want to wake you up when you just had surgery.

And depending on what type of surgery, he probably thought you wouldn't feel like talking or messaging on a cellphone.

[coachTanthony]

I think men are stuck between a rock and a hard place... if he checks in, sends flowers, comes to see ya he's needy and smothering... if he doesn't check and gives you space then he doesn't care. I think people in relationships need a little bit of grace after only dating for a month... man and the woman.

[Chazmatazz269]

My opinion is that you expect too much too soon. 1) You’re not in a committed relationship. You admitted that much.
2) You did touch base and expressed that you were fine.
3) If you did tell him you wanted him to check in again or more often, you didn’t explain that here.
It seems as though you’re making expectations without communicating your needs and desires. He can’t read your mind. Even if he could, he shouldn’t have to. We have to teach other people how to treat us. Brush up on your communication and if you’re still sensing that he’s not as invested as you are, then you’re probably right. You’ll have to decide what to do from there though.

[bobby_bush_eater]

As someone who literally just left the military and is now very busy I get where he's coming from. That said I would definitely have at least called to check in or texted. It's definitely not usual to say nothing. I would bring it up to him and tell him how you feel but dont freak out about it.

[RetroReviews]

If you really like him I can imagine that would be a sad feeling cuz it would appear that maybe he doesn't like you as much as you do him. I mean even if you're just friends you would think you would check on you and see how everything went?

[noohair]

Six weeks is not a relationship. And I have issues with women who don't say what they want and expect men to be mind readers. If you wanted a call, you should have asked him to call you. If you asked for a call and did not get one, that is an issue.

[MrExperienced]

I saw him at the stripper bar doing a kind of blow off a strippers butt cheek. Sorry for being the one who had to tell you but he did get lucky because instead of getting you a gift he got some damn good cocaine for ole gal over there!

[exitseven]

I had surgery and spent almost a month in the hospital and my girlfriend could not even be bothered to send me a goddam get well card. I should have dumped her then.

[WhitneySnow]

That is troubling. But don’t just dump him. Talk to him. See why he didn’t check in on you.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think you are over thinking.

You talked earlier with him in the day after your surgery and you told him you are OK.

Don't let your over thinking cloud your judgment.

[Twalli]

He probably assumed he didn't need to since you said you were okay.

[Staximus]

How far away does he live from you?

[driven159]

2 weeks is not a long time

[KrakenAttackin]

He's not that into you.

[genericname85]

what surgery?

[Anonymous]

Transition surgery?
Might be the problem.

[CNoelle22]

wow so unhelpful :)

[spartan55]

Lol... 😂