Why do some guys learn how to relate to women as early as middle school and high school, and some never do even in their 30s and older?

[rachel776]

[Billlewis]

I believe that this may be due, in part to the 'Freud' factor. What I mean by that is that from a very early age, boys are taught that if they earn the approval of their mothers and school teachers, etc, they'll be fine. For some guys, this philosophy continues throughout our lifetimes, whereas for others, there seems to be a kind of rebellion against this after adolescence. This is my opinion only.

[fuddly]

I can get on great with and relate to women

I was always very respectful of women but it didn't mean i was particularly successful with getting girlfriends. Just average.

[fuddly]

Thanks Rachel
💋💋💋
👍👍👍
💜🩷💕

[lightbulb27]

Some i think more sensitive and get hurt easily by both sexes. If guys have healthy relationships around and support they learn and cope better.

[Bricealan]

Easy. I have known or been around some of the really good looking men in middle/high school, and they get 'socialized' early, because they are constantly getting attention from the equally pretty women who are not afraid to approach them. Those guys learn early, how to approach, talk with, and usually start having sex at a very early age, simply because they have that appeal to women who are willing to "teach'.

Other men on the other end of the attractiveness scale, learn by experience, and many become angry and frustrated by their lack of social awareness and protocol.

[DrPepper12]

Puberty onset. That's explains almost all of it. The males that go first have no competition and get to practice their game with the ladies which builds confidence and experience. The fucknuts who go last have immense competition, fewer possible girls cuz their cuffed and no one to practice on and their only model is the guys who came first so they try the same tired old shit the girls have already heard before and get rejected again and again and again.

I speak as early puberty AND an observer of teen behavior in the classroom for 20+ years. I KNOW I'm right.

[Lynx122]

I was the slowest to develop physically and I had undiagnosed autism on top of it so I had a great experience in high school. It was just amazing. But honestly I'm tough and I made the best of it. I will never catch up to a guy who just naturally got the positive experiences and had everything going for him but I have a girlfriend now and I'm learning. It does piss me off a little but all I can do is live my life the best way I can in the moment. That's what I've done my whole life and I'll keep doing that. That's why I don't have any regrets because the things that affected me negatively were outside of my control so there's no point in thinking about it.

[mandyfire98]

Some guys actually want to onow women and be friends with women and have interest in women beyond vagina. They have a genuine desire to know and understand women.

There are lots of guys who will end up admitting that outside of sex they don't really particularly want to know women at all or even really like women. They don't want to be friends with women, they don't find women interesting or likeable, they just want sex from us. So they aren't going to make any effort to befriend us or get to really know or want to understand us.

[Lynx122]

I think it's a cycle. Guys who are liked by women from the start they're encouraged to keep interacting with them. Even if they get rejected or treated badly they already have a positive mindset from the good experiences they have so it won't affect them as much. Then they get more experience and learn more about women and women like them even more etc.

But guys who are unpopular they have the opposite experience. They have a negative experience every time. So they avoid it more and so they know less about women, or learn from online videos and not from personal interaction. They can have misconceptions and then this makes it harder for them to break the cycle. They also just give up or get angry.

Some people also just have better social skills and mature faster

TBF a lot of women don't understand men either or only in specific situations

[Chazmatazz269]

Nobody REALLY learns how to relate to women. Women know women better than men, and they despise each other. Ell oh ell!
I had the “advantage” of being raised primarily by my mother, with two sisters and all of their friends. So i had observed women’s behavior for years before i was even remotely interested in them sexually.
Contrary to popular myth, women don’t want to f*ck men who understand them. Not even close. And let’s face it, sex is the only decent reason to put up with all the other BS women bring to a relationship.
And for the record, having the ability to relate to women in one stage of life doesn’t mean someone “gets it”. People change, especially women. That’s the primary reason more than half of all marriages end in divorce and women initiate more than seventy percent of divorces. The smart dudes are the ones who admit they don’t get it, and avoid marriage altogether; knowing the risks outweigh the rewards.

[Friendlybro79]

I would love to know if my opinion/hypothesis on this is true. I don't know how to prove what is my gut feeling on this.

If you have a sister and a good relationship with your mom I think it's so much easier. For me it started with being the older brother to a not much younger than me sister. I felt very protective of her until she was old enough to tell me she didn't need me to be a crazy older brother. ( I still am but I've learned to control the inner savage brother within me lol). My point is when my sister was old enough to come home crying over a boy, I remember how bad I felt for her. I promised to never do that to someone's sister or daughter.

It's possible you can have a sister and a good relationship with your mom and still be an ass I guess but I do believe my take on this has to be similar for others.

[Anonymous]

One major issue that is seldom talked about is what kind of mother the guy had growing up. Also if he had older siblings especially older sisters vs being the only child/oldest

If a guy was raised by an abusive mother and/or domineering mother it can leave a very negative impression on him. She is supposed to be a role model about what to accept for his future mate.

The worst is when the guy was raised watching his mother dominate/control his father. That is a HORRIBLE example but it’s getting worse in society with all the “simp culture” going on in society.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I think it's entirely up to mindset. If you've always viewed or been taught that women are different to you, you will treat them differently and not relate to them. But if you grew up being taught we're all equal and always viewed us as equals you will find things you relate to and enjoy genuine friendships with women.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I think it has to do with our upbringing, family, and how we’ve been invested in pie the adults around us. I figure those of us who saw good male-female relationships modeled and had female friends and family around learned early how to relate.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think that happens when guys try to force chemistry with women which creates tension and awkwardness and misunderstanding.

Men and women are alike as we are literally the same specie regardless of what some people say.

It's literally all about chemistry and you will relate just like two normal human beings.

[ohsheeT]

Because they still are making it all about themselves instead of making it about the girl. And I mean there's guys in there's 40s 50s and 60s that are still making it only about themselves and they wonder why they don't have a girlfriend or somebody

[TommyMountainFigure]

For me it was easy, but I have a problem understanding why anyone would find it difficult.

Perhaps that is the problem. You need to have experience of both to be able to explain why it is easy or difficult?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Is it not the same problem for women?

[ProbablyClueless]

A lot of it comes down to what you see/saw growing up. If you were surrounded by a domineering and aggressive father that disregarded your mother, it's going to be harder for you to relate to the girls at school.

[Sharkstealth]

Why are some people born in to a starving country? Why are some people born in an area where they must join a cartel? Why do some people get to be the Presidents child? It's just the luck of the draw and the way life is.

[Sharkstealth]

Why are some children ignored and told to get out of sight? Why are some hugged and encouraged? Why is it that when one person says hi then he is laughed at and if another says hi then the girl gets dazed and smiles?

[skidawgkc22]

I'm in my mid-40's now and STILL have not had any luck with women, so I don't know the answer.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I just think some guys learn earlier in life from role models, which is good.

[mobiusforniner]

Because they have an open mind and don’t see girls as awkward sex objects.

[Rangers]

Guys can't relate to women, or vise versa.

It's like fire trying to relate with ice, they're not meant to be similar

[handsomelad70]

Some of us lads are confident enough to approach ladies, while LOTS of handsome chaps such as I ALWAYS struggle with relating to them

[John_Cobretti]

Because not every guy thinks about impressing girl's asses all the time

[Amur8711]

Exposure and actually have girls as friends growing up.

[elaphe]

What do you mean by "relate to?" Are you talking about dating or as friends or simply as acquaintances in everyday life?

[Tstrbrainer]

I'm one of those guys who can't figure out how to impress women.

Oh how I've envied Archie in my childhood

[msc545]

It depends on how many crazy women the run into and at what age.

[Jennz6]

No confidence in themselves

[Wiredone]

Some guys just never get it

[Ms_Facesitter]

If they interact more with girls, they learn more.

[Wise4myage]

Lack of self esteem and self confidence.

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Early bloomers probably had sisters

[CubaPirate]

Lack of understanding and immaturity