Search Results: imagining someone else during sex

its between me and this girl. I've posted a few ?'s on here about her and got lots of help from this site .thanks :)

anyway, were best friends and technically ex's. we talk everyday and kept it that way since we met. we've known each other for a year officially dated for 4 months, hated each other for 3 months. reconciled our feelings and have been closer than ever since.

since we stopped arguing over our break up(which was jan.) we've been off and on, sometimes we act just like we did in the beginning; always kissing and cuddling. and other times(especially after we have sex) shed say she needs space and doubt our relationship.

she seems to be afraid that something bad could happen in our relationship that would be too much for her emotionally, so she runs away from it.

after a few weeks she misses me so much that she can't help but act flirty with me when we see each other.

as you can imagine this causes us to fight a lot, nothing hurtful said but its very emotionally taxing to deal with, "i want us today, I don't want us today"

we talk about everything, secrets, fears, life, hopes, dreams, everything. she's like the one I confide in and I'm the same for her. I know things about her her nobody knows about and she knows mine.

when she says she doesn't want to be in a relationship, its not to be with anyone else .its more of her not feeling like she's obligated to play the girlfriend role, like calling everyday or making out or sex. or going out on dates.

she likes this stuff and we still do these things but I think being "out" of a relationship makes her feel more "free"

we still go to the mall and hang out and when we do, EVERYONE thinks were a couple. when strangers call us boyfriend/girlfriend we don't even deny it. but we don't let mutual friends say were together.

when we go to shopping shell buy me t-shirts and jeans and ill buy her underwear(that I help pick out:)) clothes, shoes, etc..

the last time we had sex(last week) we weren't officially dating and the next day she made it her obj. to call me and tell me nothing changes and we can't kiss. yet she calls me late last night when she got off work to talk and say I love you.

it gets really complicated when I sit and think about all the aspects of our relationship. some people see us and say "why don't y'all just go out?" and the fact that we've dated before(ex's) and still act like were dating kinda makes that the logical choice.

i know she hasn't lost any feelings for me but I think sometimes she needs to feel like being my girlfriend isn't her responsibility.

she hasn't dated anyone else and still calls me her world.

she even remembered our one year anniversary during a time where we've been arguing for a week which was really sweet.

my question is: WTF are we?! were not together but our feelings keep us together. like although were technically free to date or see anyone we want, we only let each other get close and we don't let anyone else in the picture.

i know someone here on GAG can help me lol