The title seems obvious enough, right? Well, after seeing a lot of comments, I had to write this take and really go in detail.
There are a lot of people who write shit like "thats fine", "it will happen" or even "aww thats sweet". Then, you have people who are like "work on yourself, be confident" or "its your own fault". And finally, you have those who say "don't feel pressured by society, do it when the time is right" or "someone special will come along".
Obviously, all 3 types of people have no clue what they are talking about. So without any further delay, let me tell you my story:
I never had a girl in my life. Not even a kiss, not even a date. Literally nothing.
I am 19 years old.
"You are young, you just gotta wait, it will come"
I live in a VERY promiscuous environment, so being 19 here and being like me, is kinda like being 29 in most countries. In other words - it's a really fucking big deal. Here, where I live, there is literally nobody over 16 who is a virgin. Not to mention kissing, everybody does that before they turn 14. Also, this is the worst advice out there for virgins. After checking out a bunch of different cases online, where guys wrote how they are virgins, I realized that until they turn 30, people keep telling them the bullshit I wrote above. And for those who are 30+? Then those same assholes write "what have you been waiting for?"
So people online are mostly useless, but please, on behalf of all virgins out there, DON'T write "it will happen". By far the worst advice and the stupidest thing you can say.
Also, it's not sweet or anything like that, since I wasn't saving myself for anybody, I don't believe in love, and I would have been with almost any girl if I ever had a chance.
"It's your own fault, you gotta work on yourself"
This actually IS good advice for some guys and can help them out a lot. However, not for me. See, I have been working on myself for years.
Looks - I am 6'2, about 190 pounds, currently have short hair and short beard. Throughout the years, I used to have military haircut, slick back, long hair and a shaved head. I also had a full beard, short beard, goatee, mustache and clean shaven. Girls never wanted to be with me, at any of those times. Im a normal guy, I shower, brush my teeth etc. (in case somebody thinks about that)
Lifestyle - I play guitar, draw, do spray paint art. I go out with my friends and drink and have fun. I work as a chef. In the past, I used to train 2 martial arts, 2 sports professionally, trained swimming by myself but still went to competitions and won medals, and I did a little bit of bodybuilding. I used to work as a bartender, I have 2 high school diplomas. I worked a bit on construction sites etc. etc. I don't want to bother you with everything I did, but you get the idea, I did more than anybody my age and even than most people older than me. Girls were also not interested in me at any of those times
Social Life - As mentioned above, I have friends and I go out and drink. I also went through a bunch of social circles - from popular kids, over metalheads and rockers to even drug dealers and criminals. I went out to many different places throughout the years. And yes, you guessed it, girls were never interested in me, during any of those times. I should also mentioned Im not socially awkward or weird, nor am I an aggressive asshole.
Besides, even if I never worked on myself, who I was before all of that, was still better than some guys I know, which of course had girls and had sex. Literally I know fat, ugly, retarded stoners who get girls. I couldn't even if I was the last guy on this planet. Oh, I forgot another common one:
Attitude - I wasn't always this pessimistic, in fact, I used to think I will be able to have girls easily. I was optimistic and positive about this. But after 7 years of trying without even the smallest results, I would have to be insane to still believe there is any chance for me.
I happen to play my guitar for about 7 years, and if I couldn't even play a single chord, a single tone by now, I would give up hope. It goes for any activity on this planet. If you can't make ANY progress in 7 years, you are doomed.
And finally, for people who say "don't feel pressured by society" yes, society has certain influence, but it's not the main reason. Not even close. I happen to have a high sex drive, and never being able to fulfill them creates frustration on its own. Even if everybody around me was a virgin, I still wouldn't be happy. It would only help with certain additional problems.
The thing is, this is actually getting worse as time goes by. You see, even if a miracle happened and somehow a girl who wants to be with me existed, now there is a whole new series of problems:
Kissing - there is nobody here even close to my age who never had a kiss. I would have to either tell her I never had a kiss and she would look at me like the biggest weirdo ever. Or not tell her, and let her see it on her own when I kiss her in a bad way.
Relationship games - let's face it, nobody wants this, but it happens quite often. When there are problems in a relationship there are these little games which people play, where they want to make their partner jealous or whatever. Not an option for me, because I am completely undesirable to the opposite sex. So basically the girl could cheat on me with 50 guys and I could do nothing about it.
Other women - similar to the previous one, women want guys who are desirable to other women. We all know that. So, when my non-existent girlfriend would see just how much nobody else wants to be with me, she wouldn't either
Not to mention first sex and things like that. So yeah, this is actually hell. I wouldn't want ANYBODY ever to feel like me. Not even the worst enemy.
Imagine what it's like, watching every day everybody do the thing you want, but you can't. Watching assholes who were always losers do it, and you can't. Watching kids, who were playing and riding a bike when you were trying to get a girl, now have a girl, while you STILL can't. Constantly having to make up excuses why you are single, and saying you are single "by choice".
Of course, many virgin guys will find a girl some day, but there are some of us who literally never will. So don't be assholes to us. Its hard enough. I have been insulted many times on this site for being a virgin. I don't give a fuck usually what random internet strangers say, but this is hitting where it hurts the most. And don't judge us for calling prostitutes, since its the only way for us.
Thanks for reading, I hope I could explain at least partially what its like ....
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