I'm an 18 year old virgin. True I don't feel like you do. (Not because society prefers me pure/innocent (since I'm far from that), I just stop caring.) You sound attractive to me, I don't know what's going on. Tindr might help (I guess). Personally, the girls around you must be blind to date you because again, you sound like an attractive person. (The way you described yourself)
You remind me of a quote by Henry Ford. "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right". Maybe if you stopped thinking about it and just jerked off when you're horny, like EVERY OTHER TEENAGE BOY WITH A "high sex drive", you'd actually stop thinking you "can't get laid" and your attitude AND results would change. Girls can smell desperation a mile away. Get over yourself.
I was like that. Until I got too old for my situation to be normal. And results were always the same, no matter what I thought. Which is expected, since thoughts do not affect reality in any way
TOO OLD? TOO OLD? you're 19 fucking years old. Your life hasn't even begun yet. Where do you live? What do you do for work or school? Have you traveled anywhere in the world? (Family vacations to Disney don't count)
Yes I am 19 years old and I never had a kiss in a place where you can't find any 14 year olds who never had a kiss. Thats what I meant by too old. Too old to be like this.
I work as a chef, I have 2 high school diplomas. I live in Serbia, I have been in Croatia, Bosnia, Greece and FYROM.
Ok. If that is your final answer and there's nothing at all on the planet that you possibly can do to change your situation, then you need to put it out of your head, find happiness in your work, friends, hobbies, a gym etc.
I'M 23 years old and I've never had a girlfriend either. Am I even worse off than you? No I'm not, because I don't feel sorry for myself like you do. Listen to yourself for a moment. If your life revolves around (not) having a sexual experience in the past, you're a pathetic human being. No wonder girls prefer to avoid you.
Not everybody has the same sex drive. Your sex drive is probably low so it doesn't really bother you that you are a virgin loser. I happen to have a high sex drive so it bothers me A LOT
See, that's your problem - perspective. You think that since I haven't had a girlfriend yet, I must be a "virgin loser". No girl would ever want to date a "virgin loser", but you are one only as long as you consider youself as such.
If you are 19 or 23 and never had a girlfriend - you are objectively a loser. You can see yourself as a winner and lie to yourself all you want but facts are the facts. I am aware of the fact I am a loser. I am also aware if the fact I can't change that. But maybe you can change your situation, just face reality and work from there. Because as long as you keep telling yourself its fine, you are gonna be stuck in the same position
Objectively? What's the objective measure? And what does a "winner" look like - against whom has he won? If you indeed think that you're a loser and that there's nothing you can do to change that, then I'm afraid that's true. Your virginity has nothing to do with it, though.
Exactly what @ptstat said. There are even many guys who are disabled and still find a girl. You can lie to yourself all you want, but it doesn't change the fact you are a loser
@ptstat So the objective measure are "people who get girls", whom you choose to compare yourself to. Well, if that's how you determine your self-worth, go ahead, by I don't want to live this way. Being a virgin is not something you have written on your forehead. People around me generally don't even know that about me or they just don't care. Maybe you should find different people to hang out with.
People around me don't know that Im a virgin too. Still doesn't change the fact Im a loser. And so are you. Getting girls is something almost everybody can do, its not an art or a skill. Its a basic thing every normal guy can get. Even losers can get it. Which makes us even bigger losers, since many losers are more successful and better than us (considering they can do what we can't)
To be honest, being a virgin at 19 is not that bad because it's not far off the age most people lose their virginity. Being one at 25 like I am is ten times worse, I can promise you. If you're still a virgin in 6 years time, you really will feel like you're going insane.
It is here, because kissing and sex happens early, I live in a promiscuous environment, so being 19 here and being like me is way too old. So I know the feeling you described
Its possible, just like now I would love to be 17 again or 15 etc. But either way, I plan to pay a prostitute in a few months, so I will stop being a virgin at 20.
Yeah, if I could go back a few years in time, I would be really good. I don't plan to go to a prostitute for a few years still. I find the idea of having to pay for sex repulsive and it's truly a last ditch effort.
I don't know, I don't see it as a bad thing. I mean even guys who can get laid go to prostitutes. Also I know its literally the only way for me. And I need to do it ASAP because this depression is stopping me in other aspects of life
@ptstatI live in a small town and I don't live alone. So first, it would be hard to find a prostitute here, and I would have to find a place to take her to, and also because its a small town, the whole town would know what happened. But in a few months Im supposed to get a new job, move to a big city and live alone there. Plenty if orostitutes, my own place, and nobody knows me. There are a few more reasons but these are main ones
You're talking about what will your girlfriend would think of you while you don't even have a girlfriend , stop overthinking brah , so what a 19 yr old you don't have to be ok by the society standards get out there live tour life and when it comes it comes
Every guy you know ain't every guy on the planet , maybe you're going to the wrong places or not even that attractive way of talk , maybe you're not physically attractive but if you can put a good smile on a girl's face and talk in confidence you will do good
No but as I said I live in a very promiscuous environment. Even fat and ugly stupid guys get laid here. I can make a girl laugh and talk to her but thats all I can do. A kiss is already impossible for me. A simple kiss. The thing 11 year old kids can get. I can't.
Marvin is 19, he's a virgin. But doesn't care. His friends make fun of him for being a virgin. They say he's a loser, a freak. They also point out that he's about to be 20 and still never had a girlfriend.
Damn, sorry but you really are an idiot. And your flagrant use of the word "obviously" is ignorant. With an attitude like yours, even if you looked like Chris Hemswirth or Ryan Reynolds, I'd pass too.
Why the fuck are you calling me an idiot? As for the attitude, I explained in the take, I didn't akways have this attitude. And I know you'd pass, there isn't a girl on this planet who would be with me.
Of course you didn't always have that attitude but the only attitude that matters is the one that's here and now. And here and now, women can smell your desperation and defeatist attitude. You may think I'm mean or harsh or unsympathetic... well, I am unsympathetic but the words I've shared are to get you to think about the real reason you haven't attained your goal. It's because you are self sabotaging it.
YOU ARE NINETEEN YEARS OLD!!! As someone else said here, your life hasn't een really begun yet. If you've been trying ot get laid since you were 12 you have serious problems and probably a seriously perverted reputaion to overcome as well.
A lot of guys have a negative attitude to women because they were rejected a lot. However before this became a regular phenomena they did not have a negative attitude and were still rejected. How do you explain that?
@ptstat looks seems to be something men care about more. For women an understanding of female psychology - e. g. reading her cues, knowing the right things to say and how/when to say them, winning over her friends, that kind of thing. Ugly guys with these skills seem to do very well also.
Here il make you feel better, im 25 years old still a virgin never been kisses never had a boyfirend never been on a date never has a guy call me pretty once in reality. And as for life, never had birthdays through out my teens never had firends never graduated never had a job and uptill now still dont have a speacial someone in my life.
Why don't you change that? Even though Im a complete loser with women, I am fairly successful in all the other aspects of life, for my age. If you need some advice, feel free to PM me...
Understand how you feel. I was a virgin until I was 21 and when I finally lost it, I felt no different. Sex is fun but it isn't the be all, end all for happiness.
I just turned 27 and I've dated and had plenty of hookups but no relationships. Having said that, I'm not desperate for a relationship nor do I expect miss perfect. But once you get to a certain point, you realize that quality is more important than quantity.
Im saying it based on experience. I am literally the only guy who never had a kiss in my environment. My environment is very promiscuous and everybody gets laid like crazy. If there was any hope for me, something would have happened a billion times by now
I totally get your frustration and even after you start having luck with women, shit still happens. Not to sound discouraging. But you have to be willing to not fear rejection, as cliche as that sounds.
Yeah, I get your point. But its not that I have a fear of rejection, its just that I've never faced anything other than rejection. Imagine if you were learning to ski. And you fall the first few times. Not a big deal, right? It happens. But if you keep falling for 7 years straight, and never make any progress, its a different story. You lose hope and confidence. Thats how the human mind works
@ptstat but honestly, obese girls are pretty much at the bottom. I may sound like an asshole but lets face it, for men looks are very important. and obese girls usually are ready to fuck literally anybody and anything
yes but in your mytake you say like no female in the world wants you, as if you have some chemical reaction that rejects anyone. But if you don't want fat girls you look for a 7/10 minimum and they can be quite bitchy
What are your standards? What does your face look like (you can be jacked and have sixpack abs but if you have an ugly face all of that barely matters)?
I'd say average looks. Recently I was talking with some girl here on GaG about this and she asked me to send her a pic, she rated me 8/10. Though thats just her opinion. But you can ask her, she follows me here. As for standards, I almost have none. Just decent looks, thats all
Hmmm, I don't know what you consider "decent", but anyway it sounds like girls in your town aren't into you because you're not like all the drugdealers they usually like. Move to another (bigger) town and make new friends, I was a late bloomer myself and moving to a new environment was what finally got the ball rolling.
Decent as in not really ugly or really obese. As for environment, I am supposed to move to the biggest city in my country in about a year. But Im not very optimistic since I went through so many social circles and no kind of a girl ever wanted to be with me (popular girls, metal girls, goths, sluts, nice girls etc etc)
ok so although i agree it wwon't change much, it could be better to move to a more populated area , at least 100000, perhaps a university city with more young population than villages
@ptstat I am actually supposed to move to a city of about 1,5 million people (the capital and also largest city here) in about a year, because of my job and some other factors
You didn't mention - have you ever even approached a girl? You say you've been "trying" but you didn't say how often you've actually interacted with girls.
Of course I did. By trying I meant approaching girls or starting a conversation and trying to seduce girls who are friends of my friends (or something like that)
Its not a big deal for you because you probably had all that stuff at a normal age. If you didn't it would be a huge deal. Imagine not being able to have something everybody else can just naturally. It kinda feels like you are disabled.
Did you ever approach girls? Srsly, experienced guys can be really not good @ sex, and have no idea or they just don't care. So if you care, you'll be fine.
I don't know, but I met their friends and they simply never even looked at me as somebody they could ever be in a relationship with. They treated me like they would treat another woman, or an old person, or a child. Nothing sexual at all. As for girlfriend/hookup thing, I told you in the last comment, I would accept literally anything
No, because if I told them, they would see how time goes by and I don't have a girl and they would see just how big of a loser I am. Because most guys when they say they are looking for a girl, within a week they get one. And for me its impossible
Still, what have you said or asked when you approached girls before? And you could just tell your friends you've only liked hookups till now. Or even just tell them you still want a hookup.
You haven't told me whether you want a girlfriend or hookup yet either. I'm assuming you're OK with hookups.
I don't know, I don't use pick up lines, I improvise in the moment. Either its something related to the situation, or if its a direct approach, something along the lines of "hey you looked cute so i had to come and meet you. whats up, im ______".
Again, I have to come in here. I wanted anything when I was younger. Hookups or long term or just to be invited to play spin the bottle, but nothing happened. Women just can't see it or understand these two simple concepts:
1) some really great genuine guys don't get women simple because they don't have the attributes that make them attractive (I. e introverts will always struggle) 2) there is no trickle down theory in pussy. All women go for those attributes. So like the ugly to most beautiful women will either go for the top guys, or go home. It's not like the 10's go with the 10's. The 9's with the 9's. 5's with the 5's etc. it's all the numbered girls go for only the 7-10 guys. The rest are fucked.
@Scrambledagain Then you should psot this, as your own opinion if you haven't already. I feel like there's always a cause. Even the mytake writer said most of the guys he knows get girls.
Just say like I said that you have had hookups but no steady girlfriend. Just say... that you can hookup sometimes but can't get her to contact you again or be interested longer.
Thats actually not bad as an excuse. However I doubt others around me can help me because I tried doing the same things they do, it turns out it works for them but not for me
Yes, thats not the problem, the problem is this shit is easy to them. Natural. So they can't explain much, since its not really a skill for them, its just the way they are
You are great, you are wonderful... repeat it every day until you start to believe it, put other people out of your mind. Eventually they will come sniffing around because once you beleive it you project it once you project it other people will believe it too... it's really not that deep. Sex is not that deep and it doesn't validate you as a person or a man so your not doing yourself any favors pretending like it will.
What a load of bs. Like ihavent tried that before. "Tell yourself yiure beautiful. Believe it and then other people will believe it too" that has never worked. Im still ugly. And as a 20 year old who has never had a girl. Who has never had sex. Who has never even held hands with a girl. I can quite surely say that it does validate me. Im a worthless loser because im still a virgin at this age. But its easy for you to speak. I bet you have had sex tons of different times, right?
@Raymond_Reddington Sex has never validated me... in fact sex generally has the opposite effect on a women's self esteem then it does a mans hence why women feel the need to connect it with connection. Men too often use that to validate them self then when they don't get it they feel like less then they them-self make that a reality by acting like that. Life is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry to interrupt, but it looks to me like you think that guy is the author. I am actually. As for validation, I kinda have to since its the only thing I can't do
I just had the best sex of my life and I'm on cloud 9 so hi, from the opposite end. While sex and companionship of a gorgeous woman is awesome, the lack of it isn't an excuse to throw yourself into depression. I hope things work out for you. You should approach more girls and hold your head high, soon you'll be balls deep in some pussy and cuddling a fine woman. If you give up you don't give yourself any chance.
Look from your description it's either your face, attitude or bad luck. I would guess a combination of the last 2. Sometimes sh8t happens when you don't expect it, it's luck. I was living my life when this gorgeous curvy girl of my dreams walks up and asks ME out, and it's ecstasy but that doesn't mean life before it was hell.
You are 18-24 which means the age difference between us is very small. And you are having sex and girls approach you, which means you are naturally successful with girls. So its not a big deal for you and you can't even imagine what its like being in my position. As for bad luck, its been over 7 years, and a huge amount of girls, I doubt its bad kuck, otherwise at least ONE of them would be interested in me, at least a little bit
Are you ugly? Cause if you're 6'2, decent looking, decent shape and play the guitar there is NO WAY you can't get laid. It HAS to be your attitude. Something you do wrong without realizing.
See? As I said, you can't even imagine it. As for the attitude, as I said in the take, I didn't always think like this, my attitude is the result of what years of experience showed me. And not only I can't get laid, I can't have a kiss. Any kiss with any girl. My lips literally never touched another person's lips. But unless you are a loser yourself (and you are obviously not), you can't understand what its like. Im a lost cause, thefe is no hope for me in this aspect
I'm not talking about your current pessimistic attitude but your attitude for the past 7 years. This is really a mystery lol what I would give to be 6'2
Well I used to have a normal attitude like everybody else. But it turned out girls wanted everybody else, exceot me. And I would rather be a short fat ugly guy who can get laid, than be like this
Depends on the situation. But usually they see me as a "friend" (its an excuse, because saying "fuck off" sounds harsh). As for how many, you can't honestly expect me to know after that many years.
I am 25(going to be 26 soon) and a virgin I am pretty and confidence but just don't wanna have sex with anyone I have very high sex drive so i masterbate everyday But I don't think being a virgin is like a hell
1. You are 16 - You would be correct 2. You are a girl - Last time I checked, yes 3. Not everybody has the same sex drive - I'd say my sex drive is pretty damn high.
It's like they just have no idea what they have in front of them. I hope you stumble on some chance some day. I wonder if it'd change your views instantly, or if you're already too rooted in the negative experiences of the past.
As I said in the take, I didn't always have this attitude. I got it because I realized that actually no girl wants to be with me. My current attitude was formed by experience and its backed up by 7 years of evidence
Also I'm sorry, but people don't give off an "air" of desperation. You're implying that it *must* be his own fault, which is not necessarily true at all.
Excessive porn usage makes guys wired to only getting erect to porn. They have to stop watching it to get their addictions back. It's quite common among men but it isn't something they would talk about.
@Jamesol1 just stop with that nonsense. I read that bullshit somewhere else but thats based on nothing and completely doesn't make sense. People who get laid watch as much porn as those who don't. Porn doesn't affect your sex life in any way. Everybody watches porn.
I have the issue myself.. well did. I was 18 and my dick didn't work for like a year until i stopped watching porn and after 3 months my erections came back. Keep denying it... there are many guys who experience it. Not everyone who does drugs gets addicted. Not everyone who watches porn suffers from ED... it is one of the common symptoms.
@Jamesol1 you are the only one here talking about shit he knows nothing about. Unless you were watching porn 24/7 I honestly doubt porn is what caused your ED. Everybody watches porn, as I said. And ED exists much longer than porn. They are not linked in any way. By your logic, everybody over 25-30 should be impotent, cause they have like 15 years of watching porn behind them. And yes, everybody who dies drugs gets addicted, you clearly don't know much about drugs either
Did you not read that I said? Not everyone is offected by the ED from it. It is a fairly common smyptoms if you become addicted to it... getting an addiction often derives from have mental issues you're not dealing with properly. ''I honestly doubt porn is what caused your ED.'' I went 3 months porn free and i started having morning and random erections again and also i was able to have sex with girls. Another week down the line i went back to porn and after a week all of those ED issues came back. You cannot explain that. ED has been around for ages and in young men it was UNHEARD of... but now it is becoming more common (doctors have told me this).
You often get ED when you start escalating the porn and have zero interactions with girls. There are busy forums of young men having the same issue.. they quit porn and their erections come back.
The way you're speaking i can tell you are ignorant to your own beliefs and supposed intellect. What ever feed your ego and helps you sleep at night lol...
Hun the problem might not be what your doing but your focus on it as it will put women off. As for 'itll happen' statistically throughout your life it will for the majority at one point be it 5/10-50 years from now.
Actually there are guys over 50 who are in my situation. And I literally never met anyone who is doing worse with girls than me. So I have a solid chance to become one of those guys some day
But now when everybody has Facebook its harder to hide. And I literally saw all of them at least kiss a few girls, either in real life or on Facebook. So I definitely am the worst at that, I can't get a kiss
Not really. I mean yeh kissing is fair enough but I mean the virginity thing. And the fact you have such low standards might be what puts the women off as it can come across as desperate as I mean when I was like 18 I felt the same as you. I mean I was probably the last in the group to lose it. Hell I tried to lose it behind the back of a pub (thank god it didn't work) But focusing on it won't help you at all. No one can really tell whose a virgin or not anyway and. it certainly doesn't define you.
Could be onto it a little bit with the focus on it being a turn-off for women thing. I mean it's definitely true, but I wouldn't say that's all there is to it for the life-long unwilling virgin. Now personally for me, the longer I go as an unwilling virgin, I'm kind of losing it, and getting more desperate and out there and depressed and trying to keep it together. I am sure that's about the biggest turn-off possible for every woman ever. However, I think I can keep it hidden pretty well if I need to, and besides, there is nothing I can do about it, so if that's the problem then it will clearly continue to be the problem and there is no point even trying to get better because it's hopeless.
@kilowatt04 oh. I didn't specify for all of them, just for how he describes himself. And well thats the thing thiugh, getting depressed over it will be noticeable and the attitude that it won't happen so dont try thing
Not really. Depends how it comes across. Like if theyre forward about it and have tried with everyone then comes across desperate rather than getting laid more
Im talking about target groups. If your target group is gorgeous girls, there are few of them and they are hard to get. But if you target average looking girls too, even a bit uglier ones, now your target group is 95% of the women you see. And uglier girls are usually easier to get (again, for normal guys). So of course your odds greatly improve if your standards are low
Good for you. But for me it is and it has to be. This is something I wanted for years. And I had to watch literally everybody I ever met get it while I could never even come close to it
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I'm an 18 year old virgin. True I don't feel like you do. (Not because society prefers me pure/innocent (since I'm far from that), I just stop caring.) You sound attractive to me, I don't know what's going on. Tindr might help (I guess). Personally, the girls around you must be blind to date you because again, you sound like an attractive person. (The way you described yourself)
You remind me of a quote by Henry Ford.
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right".
Maybe if you stopped thinking about it and just jerked off when you're horny, like EVERY OTHER TEENAGE BOY WITH A "high sex drive", you'd actually stop thinking you "can't get laid" and your attitude AND results would change. Girls can smell desperation a mile away. Get over yourself.
I was like that. Until I got too old for my situation to be normal. And results were always the same, no matter what I thought. Which is expected, since thoughts do not affect reality in any way
TOO OLD? TOO OLD? you're 19 fucking years old. Your life hasn't even begun yet. Where do you live? What do you do for work or school? Have you traveled anywhere in the world? (Family vacations to Disney don't count)
Yes I am 19 years old and I never had a kiss in a place where you can't find any 14 year olds who never had a kiss. Thats what I meant by too old. Too old to be like this.
I work as a chef, I have 2 high school diplomas. I live in Serbia, I have been in Croatia, Bosnia, Greece and FYROM.
If something in your life isn't working, change it.
How do I change something that depends on other people? Women do not want ME, its not the other way around
No offense but You really are kind of dense. the only thing in this equation that is a constant is YOU. CHANGE YOU!!!
I tried everything already. Girls never wanted me.
Ok. If that is your final answer and there's nothing at all on the planet that you possibly can do to change your situation, then you need to put it out of your head, find happiness in your work, friends, hobbies, a gym etc.
And prostitutes too.
I'M 23 years old and I've never had a girlfriend either. Am I even worse off than you? No I'm not, because I don't feel sorry for myself like you do.
Listen to yourself for a moment. If your life revolves around (not) having a sexual experience in the past, you're a pathetic human being. No wonder girls prefer to avoid you.
Not everybody has the same sex drive. Your sex drive is probably low so it doesn't really bother you that you are a virgin loser. I happen to have a high sex drive so it bothers me A LOT
See, that's your problem - perspective. You think that since I haven't had a girlfriend yet, I must be a "virgin loser". No girl would ever want to date a "virgin loser", but you are one only as long as you consider youself as such.
If you are 19 or 23 and never had a girlfriend - you are objectively a loser. You can see yourself as a winner and lie to yourself all you want but facts are the facts. I am aware of the fact I am a loser. I am also aware if the fact I can't change that. But maybe you can change your situation, just face reality and work from there. Because as long as you keep telling yourself its fine, you are gonna be stuck in the same position
Objectively? What's the objective measure? And what does a "winner" look like - against whom has he won?
If you indeed think that you're a loser and that there's nothing you can do to change that, then I'm afraid that's true. Your virginity has nothing to do with it, though.
the objective measure is that other people can get girls, while he, myself and whoever can't is a loser
Exactly what @ptstat said. There are even many guys who are disabled and still find a girl. You can lie to yourself all you want, but it doesn't change the fact you are a loser
@ptstat So the objective measure are "people who get girls", whom you choose to compare yourself to. Well, if that's how you determine your self-worth, go ahead, by I don't want to live this way.
Being a virgin is not something you have written on your forehead. People around me generally don't even know that about me or they just don't care. Maybe you should find different people to hang out with.
People around me don't know that Im a virgin too. Still doesn't change the fact Im a loser. And so are you. Getting girls is something almost everybody can do, its not an art or a skill. Its a basic thing every normal guy can get. Even losers can get it. Which makes us even bigger losers, since many losers are more successful and better than us (considering they can do what we can't)
This discussion isn't going anywhere. Enjoy your self-pity.
And you enjoy your delusions
To be honest, being a virgin at 19 is not that bad because it's not far off the age most people lose their virginity. Being one at 25 like I am is ten times worse, I can promise you. If you're still a virgin in 6 years time, you really will feel like you're going insane.
It is here, because kissing and sex happens early, I live in a promiscuous environment, so being 19 here and being like me is way too old. So I know the feeling you described
ok, but still, by 25 you will have gone a much longer time period. you will laugh at your 19 year old self believe me.
that's IF you are still a virgin by 25 of course.
Its possible, just like now I would love to be 17 again or 15 etc. But either way, I plan to pay a prostitute in a few months, so I will stop being a virgin at 20.
Yeah, if I could go back a few years in time, I would be really good. I don't plan to go to a prostitute for a few years still. I find the idea of having to pay for sex repulsive and it's truly a last ditch effort.
I don't know, I don't see it as a bad thing. I mean even guys who can get laid go to prostitutes. Also I know its literally the only way for me. And I need to do it ASAP because this depression is stopping me in other aspects of life
even with normal girls you pay for sex, starting with dates.. it's only more subtle.
@ptstat and sex isn't guaranteed
yeah, I don't want to pay for dates either. the way women play the game, unfortunately, they are usually going to win.
Invisible i read on your take that you work, why can't you see a prostitute now?
@ptstatI live in a small town and I don't live alone. So first, it would be hard to find a prostitute here, and I would have to find a place to take her to, and also because its a small town, the whole town would know what happened. But in a few months Im supposed to get a new job, move to a big city and live alone there. Plenty if orostitutes, my own place, and nobody knows me. There are a few more reasons but these are main ones
You're talking about what will your girlfriend would think of you while you don't even have a girlfriend , stop overthinking brah , so what a 19 yr old you don't have to be ok by the society standards get out there live tour life and when it comes it comes
The thing is it will never come. If there was any chance, it would have happened a billion times by now, like it did for literally every guy I know
Every guy you know ain't every guy on the planet , maybe you're going to the wrong places or not even that attractive way of talk , maybe you're not physically attractive but if you can put a good smile on a girl's face and talk in confidence you will do good
No but as I said I live in a very promiscuous environment. Even fat and ugly stupid guys get laid here. I can make a girl laugh and talk to her but thats all I can do. A kiss is already impossible for me. A simple kiss. The thing 11 year old kids can get. I can't.
Why you can't get women from your prospective? Just because you're a virqin , I am sorry but that's bullshit
I don't know why. I just know I tried everything and nothing ever worked. So thats how I know there is no hope for me to ever be with any girl
Yeah you're hopeless
Thats what I said
Marvin is 19, he's a virgin. But doesn't care. His friends make fun of him for being a virgin. They say he's a loser, a freak. They also point out that he's about to be 20 and still never had a girlfriend.
How does that make you feel
It makes me not give a fuck, since that's a completely different story from mine
Would it bother you if you're friends made fun of you for being a virgin
my friends don't even know Im a virgin. but even if they did, they would not make fun of me, because they are my friends
these are not friends that you describe they are enemies.
Damn, sorry but you really are an idiot. And your flagrant use of the word "obviously" is ignorant. With an attitude like yours, even if you looked like Chris Hemswirth or Ryan Reynolds, I'd pass too.
Why the fuck are you calling me an idiot? As for the attitude, I explained in the take, I didn't akways have this attitude. And I know you'd pass, there isn't a girl on this planet who would be with me.
Of course you didn't always have that attitude but the only attitude that matters is the one that's here and now. And here and now, women can smell your desperation and defeatist attitude. You may think I'm mean or harsh or unsympathetic... well, I am unsympathetic but the words I've shared are to get you to think about the real reason you haven't attained your goal. It's because you are self sabotaging it.
Ay dude, not that it a big deal, but do you think your face would be considered ugly?
I have this attitude for about a year. So then how do you explain 6 years of complete failure before that? I had a "good" attitude then.
@Juke_3 no, I'd say about average
YOU ARE NINETEEN YEARS OLD!!! As someone else said here, your life hasn't een really begun yet. If you've been trying ot get laid since you were 12 you have serious problems and probably a seriously perverted reputaion to overcome as well.
Not trying to get laid, trying to get a girl. And as I said, in my environment, its normal for 12 year olds to be in a relationship
19 is old enoygh to see that noone wants you, especially as he isn't shy but actively tried to find a girl
@ptstat that's not at all helpful and downright mean
no mean at all, actually he realized this 4 years earlier than me, so he's smarter than me
Its not mean because he is right. It actually is enough time to realize nobody wants me.
There are plenty of ugly guys with wives, girlfriends all over the world.
Yes, but Im not even complaining about my looks. I am average looking. And I know many ugly guys who get laid (like you said yourself)
So in your estimation, what's wrong with you?
I have no idea. All I know is that no woman wants me.
@SarahsSummer
A lot of guys have a negative attitude to women because they were rejected a lot. However before this became a regular phenomena they did not have a negative attitude and were still rejected. How do you explain that?
@Unorthodox91 I have been trying to explain that to many people here but they still don't get it
yeah I know the knee-jerk assumption is, if you can't get a girl, must be because you have a negative personality.
@Unorthodox91 or looks more often, although on Invisible case it doesn't seem a look problem
@ptstat looks seems to be something men care about more. For women an understanding of female psychology - e. g. reading her cues, knowing the right things to say and how/when to say them, winning over her friends, that kind of thing. Ugly guys with these skills seem to do very well also.
damn wtf?
weren't you kissing this guys ass in another mytake he wrote trying to shame mgtow?
Here il make you feel better, im 25 years old still a virgin never been kisses never had a boyfirend never been on a date never has a guy call me pretty once in reality.
And as for life, never had birthdays through out my teens never had firends never graduated never had a job and uptill now still dont have a speacial someone in my life.
Why don't you change that? Even though Im a complete loser with women, I am fairly successful in all the other aspects of life, for my age. If you need some advice, feel free to PM me...
Understand how you feel. I was a virgin until I was 21 and when I finally lost it, I felt no different. Sex is fun but it isn't the be all, end all for happiness.
I just turned 27 and I've dated and had plenty of hookups but no relationships. Having said that, I'm not desperate for a relationship nor do I expect miss perfect. But once you get to a certain point, you realize that quality is more important than quantity.
You do realize you are talking about different kinds of relationships to a guy who will never have even a kiss in his life?
Never say never dude. I used to feel the way you do and having that attitude doesn't help.
Im saying it based on experience. I am literally the only guy who never had a kiss in my environment. My environment is very promiscuous and everybody gets laid like crazy. If there was any hope for me, something would have happened a billion times by now
The more you dwell on that, the worse it'll get. Trust me.
I totally get your frustration and even after you start having luck with women, shit still happens. Not to sound discouraging. But you have to be willing to not fear rejection, as cliche as that sounds.
Yeah, I get your point. But its not that I have a fear of rejection, its just that I've never faced anything other than rejection. Imagine if you were learning to ski. And you fall the first few times. Not a big deal, right? It happens. But if you keep falling for 7 years straight, and never make any progress, its a different story. You lose hope and confidence. Thats how the human mind works
have you tried with an obese girl?
@ptstat no, I still have some standards. They are low as fuck, but fucking an obese girl could actually make me feel worse about myself
ok so your standards are not very low because non fat girls are not easy to get.
@ptstat but honestly, obese girls are pretty much at the bottom. I may sound like an asshole but lets face it, for men looks are very important. and obese girls usually are ready to fuck literally anybody and anything
yes but in your mytake you say like no female in the world wants you, as if you have some chemical reaction that rejects anyone.
But if you don't want fat girls you look for a 7/10 minimum and they can be quite bitchy
@ptstat not 7/10. If we take 5/10 as an average looking girl, I'd say 3-4/10 and above is what Im interested in
What are your standards? What does your face look like (you can be jacked and have sixpack abs but if you have an ugly face all of that barely matters)?
I'd say average looks. Recently I was talking with some girl here on GaG about this and she asked me to send her a pic, she rated me 8/10. Though thats just her opinion. But you can ask her, she follows me here. As for standards, I almost have none. Just decent looks, thats all
Hmmm, I don't know what you consider "decent", but anyway it sounds like girls in your town aren't into you because you're not like all the drugdealers they usually like. Move to another (bigger) town and make new friends, I was a late bloomer myself and moving to a new environment was what finally got the ball rolling.
Decent as in not really ugly or really obese. As for environment, I am supposed to move to the biggest city in my country in about a year. But Im not very optimistic since I went through so many social circles and no kind of a girl ever wanted to be with me (popular girls, metal girls, goths, sluts, nice girls etc etc)
how many people live in your area?
@ptstat about 35000 people in my town, and maybe 15000 more in the villages around it.
ok so although i agree it wwon't change much, it could be better to move to a more populated area , at least 100000, perhaps a university city with more young population than villages
@ptstat I am actually supposed to move to a city of about 1,5 million people (the capital and also largest city here) in about a year, because of my job and some other factors
You didn't mention - have you ever even approached a girl? You say you've been "trying" but you didn't say how often you've actually interacted with girls.
Of course I did. By trying I meant approaching girls or starting a conversation and trying to seduce girls who are friends of my friends (or something like that)
I understand you feel like hell, but seriously nothing really changes much after you lose your virginity. Sex doesn't have this kind of power.
Now wait until you don't have a job or a place to live. Then you'll see hell...
Its not a big deal for you because you probably had all that stuff at a normal age. If you didn't it would be a huge deal. Imagine not being able to have something everybody else can just naturally. It kinda feels like you are disabled.
Did you ever approach girls? Srsly, experienced guys can be really not good @ sex, and have no idea or they just don't care. So if you care, you'll be fine.
Yes I did. Still though, I can't have any girls so there isn't much point in discussing sex, when even a kiss is impossible for me
How amny?
I don't know exactly, as I said, its been over 7 years and I wasn't keeping track
Over 7 years since you approached anyone? You're 19.
Its been over 7 years of me approaching girls and trying to make something happen
Makes way more sense... so do you approach all types, like average or even uglyish?
Yes. As I wrote to another guy here, I almost have no standards. A girl just needs to look decent.
So how do you approach, like where or when? Parties/clubs or cold from the street? Ever approached a female friend?
Parties mostly. How do you mean? If she is a friend, then I already know her, so its impossible to "approach" her
So why not ask out a friend? Unless do you want a girlfriend or hookup?
Because most of them have boyfriends, and even if they didn't obviously they wouldn't be with me, otherwise we wouldn't be friends
Yeah... but at parties, are you looking for a girlfriend or hookup? And your female friends don't have any single females they know?
I would accept anything really. They do, but of course, those friends still wouldn't be with me
So what have their friends, said about not wanting to be with you? And at parties, are you looking for a girlfriend or hookup?
I don't know, but I met their friends and they simply never even looked at me as somebody they could ever be in a relationship with. They treated me like they would treat another woman, or an old person, or a child. Nothing sexual at all. As for girlfriend/hookup thing, I told you in the last comment, I would accept literally anything
Have you ever told your female friends, you're looking for a girl? No, like what did you do when you approached at parties, like said what?
No, because if I told them, they would see how time goes by and I don't have a girl and they would see just how big of a loser I am. Because most guys when they say they are looking for a girl, within a week they get one. And for me its impossible
Still, what have you said or asked when you approached girls before? And you could just tell your friends you've only liked hookups till now. Or even just tell them you still want a hookup.
You haven't told me whether you want a girlfriend or hookup yet either. I'm assuming you're OK with hookups.
Yes, I told you twice, I am ok with hookups, relationships, friends with benefits, just about anything really. Im not in a position to choose
You weren't totally clear but... Still, what have you said or asked when you approached girls before?
I don't know, I don't use pick up lines, I improvise in the moment. Either its something related to the situation, or if its a direct approach, something along the lines of "hey you looked cute so i had to come and meet you. whats up, im ______".
So do you ask for her number or info? Do you ever talk about sex?
How could I talk about sex when I can't get even a kiss? Its better to avoid the subject, because if a girl finds out Im a virgin, its over.
Do you ask for her number or info? otherwise don't tell her you're a V.
Sure, sometimes we exchange info. But it either goes in a friendly way, or we simply lose all contact. There is never any attraction present
But she doesn't know you... I don't see why a female friend can't introduce you to one of her single friends.
Again, I have to come in here. I wanted anything when I was younger. Hookups or long term or just to be invited to play spin the bottle, but nothing happened. Women just can't see it or understand these two simple concepts:
1) some really great genuine guys don't get women simple because they don't have the attributes that make them attractive (I. e introverts will always struggle)
2) there is no trickle down theory in pussy. All women go for those attributes. So like the ugly to most beautiful women will either go for the top guys, or go home. It's not like the 10's go with the 10's. The 9's with the 9's. 5's with the 5's etc. it's all the numbered girls go for only the 7-10 guys. The rest are fucked.
@Scrambledagain Then you should psot this, as your own opinion if you haven't already. I feel like there's always a cause. Even the mytake writer said most of the guys he knows get girls.
Not most guys I know, its ALL guys I know. And I don't know the reason but I know I am a lost cause, there is no hope for me
So... why don't you ask other guys why this happens then?
Because nobody knows I am a virgin. There are no virgins here my age, so if people knew they would see me as the biggest weirdo ever
Just say like I said that you have had hookups but no steady girlfriend. Just say... that you can hookup sometimes but can't get her to contact you again or be interested longer.
Thats actually not bad as an excuse. However I doubt others around me can help me because I tried doing the same things they do, it turns out it works for them but not for me
You'll have to talk to people, and just ask them to be honest with you!
Yes, thats not the problem, the problem is this shit is easy to them. Natural. So they can't explain much, since its not really a skill for them, its just the way they are
Explain what they see you as, to you, to help you.
You mean how my friends see my? Or how women see me?
How women could see you, like ask your friends what the problem could be.
Oh, ok, I will try
Hope I helped!
And now we know why.
Stop using sex or women to validate your self worth.
I dont have self worth because no chick wants me
@Raymond_Reddington That's what I am saying... stop using women to validate your self worth... one should have anything to do with the other.
You are great, you are wonderful... repeat it every day until you start to believe it, put other people out of your mind. Eventually they will come sniffing around because once you beleive it you project it once you project it other people will believe it too... it's really not that deep. Sex is not that deep and it doesn't validate you as a person or a man so your not doing yourself any favors pretending like it will.
What a load of bs. Like ihavent tried that before. "Tell yourself yiure beautiful. Believe it and then other people will believe it too" that has never worked. Im still ugly. And as a 20 year old who has never had a girl. Who has never had sex. Who has never even held hands with a girl. I can quite surely say that it does validate me. Im a worthless loser because im still a virgin at this age. But its easy for you to speak. I bet you have had sex tons of different times, right?
@Raymond_Reddington Sex has never validated me... in fact sex generally has the opposite effect on a women's self esteem then it does a mans hence why women feel the need to connect it with connection. Men too often use that to validate them self then when they don't get it they feel like less then they them-self make that a reality by acting like that. Life is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Thats what men are. Without sex were nothing. I am nothing.
@Raymond_Reddington Only because you believe that...
Because its true. Every man knows this. And im not even a man! Im just a boy.
@Raymond_Reddington Oh okay, well believe whatever floats your boat dude but your not doing yourself any favors...
Of course. I should just start living my life. And then by the time i reach 40, ill realize that im still a virgin. So much fun to be alive.
@Raymond_Reddington Lol, just goodluck Dude.
Oh good luck sure as hell can't save me anymore
@Raymond_Reddington Nope, only you can I just met goodbye and I hope you figure out a way to get your head out of your head and be happy.
My head out of my head? Like that is ever gonna happen. Out of my ass maybe, but its cozy up there.
Sorry to interrupt, but it looks to me like you think that guy is the author. I am actually. As for validation, I kinda have to since its the only thing I can't do
No I knew he wasn't the author but he obviously agreed with you and he responded to me.
Lol, your view on relationships is SO worpt!
by the way, do you try and put yourself out there? Or do you just expect girls to just like shove their tongue down your throat?
I wrote above, I have been trying for over 7 years...
Yes, but what exactly are you trying?
To be with girls, do I really need to spell every word?
Yeah you do, you sound like a okay guy from the description so I'm trying to figure out why you haven't gotten a girl...
You can't. Nobody can. Its just the way it is. Women don't want me and there is nothing I can do about it.
Okay, that's what I thought it was...
I just had the best sex of my life and I'm on cloud 9 so hi, from the opposite end. While sex and companionship of a gorgeous woman is awesome, the lack of it isn't an excuse to throw yourself into depression. I hope things work out for you. You should approach more girls and hold your head high, soon you'll be balls deep in some pussy and cuddling a fine woman. If you give up you don't give yourself any chance.
Easy for you to say...
Look from your description it's either your face, attitude or bad luck. I would guess a combination of the last 2. Sometimes sh8t happens when you don't expect it, it's luck. I was living my life when this gorgeous curvy girl of my dreams walks up and asks ME out, and it's ecstasy but that doesn't mean life before it was hell.
You are 18-24 which means the age difference between us is very small. And you are having sex and girls approach you, which means you are naturally successful with girls. So its not a big deal for you and you can't even imagine what its like being in my position. As for bad luck, its been over 7 years, and a huge amount of girls, I doubt its bad kuck, otherwise at least ONE of them would be interested in me, at least a little bit
Are you ugly? Cause if you're 6'2, decent looking, decent shape and play the guitar there is NO WAY you can't get laid. It HAS to be your attitude. Something you do wrong without realizing.
See? As I said, you can't even imagine it. As for the attitude, as I said in the take, I didn't always think like this, my attitude is the result of what years of experience showed me. And not only I can't get laid, I can't have a kiss. Any kiss with any girl. My lips literally never touched another person's lips. But unless you are a loser yourself (and you are obviously not), you can't understand what its like. Im a lost cause, thefe is no hope for me in this aspect
I'm not talking about your current pessimistic attitude but your attitude for the past 7 years. This is really a mystery lol what I would give to be 6'2
Well I used to have a normal attitude like everybody else. But it turned out girls wanted everybody else, exceot me. And I would rather be a short fat ugly guy who can get laid, than be like this
What do girls say when they reject you and how many have?
Depends on the situation. But usually they see me as a "friend" (its an excuse, because saying "fuck off" sounds harsh). As for how many, you can't honestly expect me to know after that many years.
I am 25(going to be 26 soon) and a virgin
I am pretty and confidence but just don't wanna have sex with anyone
I have very high sex drive so i masterbate everyday
But I don't think being a virgin is like a hell
You are a virgin by choice, thats a completely different story...
One choice is the lack of choice.
See, being a virgin is Hell if you make it Hell. I'm a virgin (not by choice) and you don't see me bitching about it
1. You are 16
2. You are a girl
3. Not everybody has the same sex drive
1. You are 16 - You would be correct
2. You are a girl - Last time I checked, yes
3. Not everybody has the same sex drive - I'd say my sex drive is pretty damn high.
So many arrogant girls on this site. You are 16... AKA your young so you being a virgin is normal. After 18 then it starts becoming an issue for most.
@Jamesol1 no. I have friends (mostly kids I take classes with) who are 19+ and virgins, and none of them are complaining either
Then why don't you just have sex, if your sex drive is high? You are a girl, its easy for you
Factors outside of my control, wishing my current relationship. I refuse to cheat and I don't want to leave my boyfriend
Let me ask the obvious question: why don't you have sex with your boyfriend?
Personal reasons on his part
Thats pretty fucked up. But still, your situation is lightyears ahead of mine. So you can't really compare it
Doesn't that kill you that there a guy who has fking personal reasons, when you can't get it no matter how hard you try? pff
@Juke_3 yes, thats just one of the many things that make me feel bad
It's like they just have no idea what they have in front of them. I hope you stumble on some chance some day. I wonder if it'd change your views instantly, or if you're already too rooted in the negative experiences of the past.
@Juke_3 well it would be a start, if I could have at least a kiss, I would feel a lot better. but its not possible
Oh well, have fun being whiney. Girls hate that, by the way
Girls are never gonna be interested in me no matter what I do
With an attitude like that, hell yes
I explained the thing about the attitude in the take. Did you even read the take or you just left a random comment?
Nope, I read the entire take. By this point I'm certain you come of as desperate to any girl you meet
As I said in the take, I didn't always have this attitude. I got it because I realized that actually no girl wants to be with me. My current attitude was formed by experience and its backed up by 7 years of evidence
I'm aware but now you give off such an air that women are driven off
Yes, but I have this attitude for less than a year. So why the fuck didn't women want me before?
You're only 16. I think OP was referring to older people (25+).
You're also a girl, it would be very easy for you to lose your virginity, if you really wanted to.
Also I'm sorry, but people don't give off an "air" of desperation. You're implying that it *must* be his own fault, which is not necessarily true at all.
@Kirah they do give off and "air" actually
@Kirah thank you
Is he not having sex because of porn addiction?
@Jamesol1 what? No, and I would imagine sex with a human would help end a porn addiction
Excessive porn usage makes guys wired to only getting erect to porn. They have to stop watching it to get their addictions back. It's quite common among men but it isn't something they would talk about.
@Jamesol1 just stop with that nonsense. I read that bullshit somewhere else but thats based on nothing and completely doesn't make sense. People who get laid watch as much porn as those who don't. Porn doesn't affect your sex life in any way. Everybody watches porn.
I mean, I watch porn, and I'm not some sort of sexual deviant
I have the issue myself.. well did. I was 18 and my dick didn't work for like a year until i stopped watching porn and after 3 months my erections came back. Keep denying it... there are many guys who experience it. Not everyone who does drugs gets addicted. Not everyone who watches porn suffers from ED... it is one of the common symptoms.
I know you're going to outright deny what I said... but in the future don't talk about stuff you don't know anything about.
@Jamesol1 you are the only one here talking about shit he knows nothing about. Unless you were watching porn 24/7 I honestly doubt porn is what caused your ED. Everybody watches porn, as I said. And ED exists much longer than porn. They are not linked in any way. By your logic, everybody over 25-30 should be impotent, cause they have like 15 years of watching porn behind them. And yes, everybody who dies drugs gets addicted, you clearly don't know much about drugs either
Did you not read that I said? Not everyone is offected by the ED from it. It is a fairly common smyptoms if you become addicted to it... getting an addiction often derives from have mental issues you're not dealing with properly.
''I honestly doubt porn is what caused your ED.''
I went 3 months porn free and i started having morning and random erections again and also i was able to have sex with girls. Another week down the line i went back to porn and after a week all of those ED issues came back. You cannot explain that. ED has been around for ages and in young men it was UNHEARD of... but now it is becoming more common (doctors have told me this).
You often get ED when you start escalating the porn and have zero interactions with girls. There are busy forums of young men having the same issue.. they quit porn and their erections come back.
The way you're speaking i can tell you are ignorant to your own beliefs and supposed intellect. What ever feed your ego and helps you sleep at night lol...
@Jamesol1 whatever works for you. and no, I am just talking about common sense
Hun the problem might not be what your doing but your focus on it as it will put women off.
As for 'itll happen' statistically throughout your life it will for the majority at one point be it 5/10-50 years from now.
Actually there are guys over 50 who are in my situation. And I literally never met anyone who is doing worse with girls than me. So I have a solid chance to become one of those guys some day
I said it will happen for the majority? And guys lie. As much as you. say your the only one they big themselves up
But now when everybody has Facebook its harder to hide. And I literally saw all of them at least kiss a few girls, either in real life or on Facebook. So I definitely am the worst at that, I can't get a kiss
Not really. I mean yeh kissing is fair enough but I mean the virginity thing. And the fact you have such low standards might be what puts the women off as it can come across as desperate as I mean when I was like 18 I felt the same as you. I mean I was probably the last in the group to lose it. Hell I tried to lose it behind the back of a pub (thank god it didn't work) But focusing on it won't help you at all. No one can really tell whose a virgin or not anyway and. it certainly doesn't define you.
Could be onto it a little bit with the focus on it being a turn-off for women thing. I mean it's definitely true, but I wouldn't say that's all there is to it for the life-long unwilling virgin. Now personally for me, the longer I go as an unwilling virgin, I'm kind of losing it, and getting more desperate and out there and depressed and trying to keep it together. I am sure that's about the biggest turn-off possible for every woman ever. However, I think I can keep it hidden pretty well if I need to, and besides, there is nothing I can do about it, so if that's the problem then it will clearly continue to be the problem and there is no point even trying to get better because it's hopeless.
@kilowatt04 oh. I didn't specify for all of them, just for how he describes himself. And well thats the thing thiugh, getting depressed over it will be noticeable and the attitude that it won't happen so dont try thing
It can't be low standards. The lower your standards are the more you can get laid (for normal guys, not me).
Not really. Depends how it comes across. Like if theyre forward about it and have tried with everyone then comes across desperate rather than getting laid more
Im talking about target groups. If your target group is gorgeous girls, there are few of them and they are hard to get. But if you target average looking girls too, even a bit uglier ones, now your target group is 95% of the women you see. And uglier girls are usually easier to get (again, for normal guys). So of course your odds greatly improve if your standards are low
It is not a hell for me, it is only it if you think it that way
Good for you. But for me it is and it has to be. This is something I wanted for years. And I had to watch literally everybody I ever met get it while I could never even come close to it