Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Why Men Don't Approach

Most women who claim they're too "intimidating" for men to approach them are full of BS and don't want to accept they're just not attractive to men. Yes some men find women too beautiful to approach, but most of those guys find average women too intimidating to approach as well. The truth is that no woman is too beautiful to get approached because there's always someone ballsy, drunk, or risky enough to ask for her number, grab her ass, or honk at her as she's walking down the sidewalk. So let's differentiate between what intimidating really looks like and why some conventionally attractive women experience issues attracting men


Gerund or present participle: intimidating
Frighten or overawe (someone), especially in order to make them do what one wants
"He tries to intimidate his rivals"
Frighten, menace, terrify, scare, terrorize, cow, dragoon, subdue

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

What Makes A Woman Intimidating

When a woman intimidates a man, activating the core of his fear, sexual attraction is the last thing running through his mind. The same things that creates an intimidating woman creates an intimidating man. An intimidating woman is someone who makes you scared, at risk of physical danger, and uneasy with close proximity. Imagine someone large, powerful, aggressive, possibly mentally unstable, or even holding a weapon when you think of the word "intimidating" and equate it similarly with feminine and masculine applications. An intimidating woman intimidates all people, men and women, not just the few men who are too scared to ask out beautiful women

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Images of intimidating people include prisoners, militia or police officers, boxers or MMA fighters, someone pointing a gun at your face, or that creepy guy whom everyone thinks will blow up the school. Intimidating behavior includes erratic, unstable, unpredictable, aggressive, deadly, and unremorseful actions, thoughts, opinions, and ideologies. So a woman who can bench press 300 lbs could accurately be considered intimidating because she physically could inflict a large amount of bodily harm to a man; a woman who killed her ex for buying the wrong color car could accurately be considered intimidating because her mentality is unstable in a way that may cause a man harm. These kinds of women are also intimidating to other women, not just men. Furthermore, female body builders often reduce their sexual appeal to the majority of men as they increase muscle mass

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Women who claim they're intimidating because they're cutthroat CEOs are intimidating to men for being cutthroat and aggressive, not for being successful. Studies have shown men find women intimidating when they know for a fact that she has a higher IQ than him and that relationships last longer when the man is smarter than the woman. Most men claim to like successful women and intelligent women on paper, but then backtrack a bit once he knows she's more successful or intelligent than him. Intelligent women and unintelligent men are more likely to be single due to issues with incompatibility. But again, since a stranger has no way of knowing your IQ or intelligence before getting to know you, it's not your intelligence that is keeping men from hitting on you, only keeping you from a relationship

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Why Men Don't Approach Attractive Women

Most attractive women receive constant unwanted attention from strangers, especially men. Men are 10X more likely to comment on female rather than male profiles on image-based platforms such a Instagram and women receive 5X more likes than men. Men are visual creatures and make their feelings known when women excite them. So women who are conventionally attractive and do not receive the expected male attention are doing something to prevent this attention because they're doing something to prevent men from finding them sexually attractive

For the purposes of this MyTake, I'm gearing this towards attractive women because that is the most common demographic to be approached by men. Average and unattractive women may benefit from this advice in conjunction with another MyTake I wrote that includes a more in-depth analysis on Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women


Some conventionally attractive women present themselves poorly or in another way that prevents men from finding them sexually attractive. Examples of this include poor hygiene and sloppy clothing or too severe, matronly, or masculine clothing. Men like beautiful women who wear feminine clothing, embrace their femininity, and act like women, so women who deviate from the ideal of what men want in a woman will find that men often ignore them. Women who wear tight buns give off the image of being severe and uptight while women who shave part of their heads and die the rest purple may often be seen as lesbians or mentally unstable. Presentation plays a huge role in attraction and you only have 7 seconds to make a first impression, so bringing your best presentation with you everywhere you go is imperative if you want to be successful in life, business, and love

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Successful Women Are Masculine

Heterosexual men find women with feminine qualities attractive while the vast majority of successful women exhibit many masculine traits, reducing their sex appeal. Women become successful in corporations the same way men become successful: through aggressive, goal-oriented, sacrificial, risky, emotionless advances and promotions. While adapting masculine traits helps women to move forward in large companies and build their own businesses, these same traits prevent men from viewing them as sexually attractive, the main problem with initiating and maintaining romantic interest for these women. Corporate women also cater their physical appearances to improve their financial success with severe hairstyles, nude and subdued makeup palettes, professional suits (especially masculine pantsuits), and flats or practical kitten heels--not the ideal way to attract a man's attention

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

(For those of you who don't know, this is a picture of Hillary Clinton, a successful politician, and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, who famously cheated on her. Hillary likes to wear pantsuits and has been proven to scientifically have an unnatural or forced smile while giving speeches)

Successful women who want to appear less "intimidating" to men need to leave their masculine qualities at work, relax more during social settings, and overall cater their appearances to look less severe and more feminine

They're Too Independent

Men like independent women who work full-time, financially support themselves, and express enough self-esteem in not depending upon exterior sources for constant praise and affection. These positive personality traits show a man you put effort into your daily life, find solutions to everyday problems, and won't malfunction left to your own devices, ultimately determining an ability to raise a future family and put effort into romantic relationships. But men take pride in being able to provide for, support, protect, and make women happy, so an independent woman who doesn't allow herself to depend on a man who cares about her may find herself single more often than not. Relationships are a two-way street, so women who come off as too independent, not wanting men, or not being interested in men enough for a relationship will find themselves not being approached as much as other women

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Independent women often come of as not having enough time for men, so it's important for independent women to devote time to, express interest in, and offer up space and situations to be dependent on men they desire relationships with. This change in attitude will spread through all facets of life, including improving chances of men initiating interest in the first place

Unavailability And Other Body Language

Attributing luck to occupying the right space at the right time helps people satisfy their lonesome miseries, but fails to help them improve their situation. People who try new things, meet new people, and create more platonic relationships increase their chances of running into that random special someone while other people actively engage in activities and behaviors to prevent good luck and attention. People who desire relationships need to put themselves out there, especially women who experience issues with men not approaching them. Many attractive women repel men by appearing unavailable with time, emotion, occupation, and careers

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Girls tell me all the time that nobody approaches them in public, but hundreds of guys drool all over them on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. These girls (mostly under 30) unknowingly reduce their chances of someone hitting on them by exhibiting poor and unavailable body language, mainly by focusing exclusively on their cellphones rather than company, meeting new people, or engaging in life and new experiences. I corrected one of my friends' body language one night and a guy she'd been crushing on for two years came up to her and danced with her all night long. Sitting on your cellphone while at a club, bar, or other social gathering is the single worst thing a woman can do to prevent herself from being approached because it signals that you're interested in something else, may be waiting for someone such as a boyfriend, and shows your lack of engagement in fun activities and the people around you. Furthermore, these girls often look unhappy or bored, not attractive qualities for relationships or raising children. You're much more likely to get approached while reading a book than your phone because reading is a hobby, signals intelligence, and "What are you reading?" is an easy conversation starter with an easy conversation in the plot, premise, and characters in the book

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Thousands of hours of research and and dollars have been spent on studying body language and implementing body language to convey intention and emotion, persuade, and hide lies because body language immensely impacts the way people view us, interact with us, and especially approach us. Exhibiting "open" as opposed to "closed" body language greatly increases your chances of strangers approaching you for conversation or romantic interest. To exhibit "open" body language, stand and sit with uncrossed legs and arms, angle your body towards the center of the room rather than your back, angle your palms forward and up without clenched fists, and actively engage with people, conversations, and events. Flirt with people who express interest in you and that you find yourself interested in. When in establishments that serve alcohol, drink enough to feel loose and not like a prude, but not so much that people view you as sloppy, unstable, addicted, dumb, hostile, and/or easy

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Close Friends

For some women who are attractive, have fantastic personalities, and engage in social activities, their close friends and friend groups prevent men from approaching them. Women who visit clubs and bars in a group of 3 are most likely to be approached with 2 and 4 very approachable as well; anything more than 4 is difficult for a stranger to intrude upon while going out alone can be dangerous and mainly illicit purely sexual attention from men interested in hookups. Women who spend time in public with a male friend may unintentionally send the message of being taken or lead a man to question her fidelity. Strangers' first impression of you coincides with their first impression of your friends as well, so hanging out with people who express themselves distastefully or contradictory to your beliefs and personality may also prevent you from attracting compatible personalities. Also women who spend all of their attention on their friend group without allotting room for new people to enter reduce options for men to approach them

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

Resting Bitch Face

Everyone knows someone with a severe case of RBF who oftens looks angry, sad, upset, or like they're smelling something foul and 90% of the time you avoid asking them what happened because you're of the potential responses. On a serious note, I actually know a lady with some serious RBF and she is happily married with a son. Looking like a serial killer, bitch, or unhappy person may prevent someone from approaching you though, so I greatly encourage women with RBF to utilize open body language and smile more when trying to attract new romantic partners

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

This segment remains incomplete without mentioning women who actually look like bitches because that's unattractive behavior that prevents men from approaching women in the same way that men acting like douches prevents women from shelling out their phone numbers. Attractive women who exhibit nasty behavior or look too high-maintenance reduce their chances of average men approaching them

Insecurity In Men

Despite your stunning looks, fantastic personality, and efforts to improve your approachability, some men are too intimidated to approach women of any type. This is not your flaw but rather his insecurity and fear of rejection. A real man will make his intentions known if he truly cares about you or wants to be a part of your life. So if there's a guy your eye draws itself to yet he seemingly ignores you, then quit wasting your time trying to grab his attention and focus on somebody else

Why Men Don't Approach "Intimidating" Women

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  • I see that a lot of people are having issues with this take because of your little jabs about "real men" and what not, but, all that aside, these are all possibilities.

    Some girls really do just use this as an excuse for whatever it is they are lacking. I can certainly see this being used to comfort someone by elevating themselves, much like how "out of league" or "too good for him" are commonly used.

    On the other hand, I don't get why some guys cannot for the life of them just admit that there really are those who do get intimidated by girls for whatever reason, even if they don't themselves.

    I have personally been called intimidating by people who know me to some degree, but I still get approached by strangers in public. So I do agree that looks alone usually don't intimidate most men, but the way you present yourself undeniably affects your approachability and other things like status, achievements, etc. can some.

    • Haha people are going to take jabs because they feel insecure in themselves. There's a lot of insecure guys on this site who want to bring women down. If you're secure with yourself, it won't bother you

      I agree, I agree, I agree

      I've had both men and women say I'm intimidating but nobody can say exactly why when I ask them. Then they say it's hot and why I get hit on so much... which makes me question the whole "intimidating" thing. One of my friends I think has a really pretty face, but she never gets hit on because of her personality and I think most guys who get called creepy just have a bad presentation. Presentation is more important than looks if you know how to use it to your advantage

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What Guys Said 67

  • You made some excellent points about the different reasons why women may be seen as "intimidating." The main thing a guy should understand a woman who is intimidating because of her physical beauty, the "intimidation" is not imposed by the girl but by the guy on himself. I have heard a few very pretty girls talk about how they rarely get asked out and there is usually a tinge of sadness in their voice.

    Guys, grow a pair and ask the girls out. Even if you get rejected, you need to keep asking girls out until you get over that fear of rejection, intimidation, etc. Dating is a numbers game. Ask out enough women and at least one will say "yes;" that's all you need, right?

    • Thank you. Yes there will always be insecure guys who fear rejection too much to ask beautiful women out, but there will always be more confident guys willing to. The more women a man asks out, the more likely he is to have one say yes, and the more likely he is to find someone compatible with him for a serious relationship. I completely agree dating is a numbers game, and there's no way around that unless you're extremely lucky

    • Totally agree and with approaching and asking women it is a numbers game, I use to have a friend that after getting rejected twice in one night, he would give up and say im done asking women just don't want me, in reality you can't expect a yes everytime, in fact out of 10 women I would say if you got just one to say yes then that is good enough.

  • I've heard this before, and I don't think it really gets to the bottom of it. Women are obssessed with thinking they "intimidate" men so much and I think they're giving themselves too much credit, attractive or not.

    You have a lot of guys who are afraid of approaching women because of how she might act about it, and if it will embarrass him. Also attractiveness is subjective. For me I don't care if she's a career woman or wealthy, because usually they're the ones who are not that intelligent and lack life skills and talents. So they would be the least "intimidating" for me.

    • If you don't think MyTake "really gets to the bottom of it," you're welcome to write your own or "really get to the bottom of it" yourself

      Yes there are men who are too afraid to approach women in general, but I also pointed out those are not the men I've addressed MyTake to. I've addressed attractive women who don't receive the expected male attention, not men of any kind

    • @Idonthaveausername I actually do plan on writing a Take that I guess has some similar ideas but it's still been in the works for weeks. I have another one coming tomorrow.

      Honestly? I'm glad those women don't get the expected attention. They probably don't deserve it anyway.

  • "I'm too intimidating and that's why men don't approach me" is just laziness and cowardice on her part. It's easy for a person to judge somebody else for their bravery or lack thereof while she remains in the position of judgment, not really having to do anything else but that. I never understood why a single woman who is interested in a relationship just wouldn't approach men she is interested in. A woman doesn't need to try and grab somebody's attention, she needs to put forth the effort to initiating a conversation with people rather than relying on them to do it first. This is another problem women have, and I think it's because women know it's much easier and less stressful to just be the judge of how a person approaches her instead of being judged for it herself. Men are realizing this as well given the hostility that women have created in the dating scene.

    The whole "why aren't men approaching me but always looking at me? I guess I'm intimidating?" is such a commonly asked question by women, not just on this website, but elsewhere as well. Well, the real question to ask is why aren't YOU approaching THEM? Men don't have to do the approaching, it's 2017, as people often like to point out. That's not solely our obligation if you're the one who wants a relationship. This goes into a topic of double standards and lack of equality in dating, where men are still expected to do mostly everything. Women are just learning that men aren't going to do everything and that sometimes, she will have to ask him for his number first.

    If a girl can get over herself and actually ask the questions about what is wrong with her, not the men around her, and she puts in some effort, then she won't be single. Simple solution.

    • Some women may use it as an excuse for being lazy or cowards, but most women who think they're intimidating honestly believe that. While I do agree women should make their feelings known to men that they're interested in, it will always be a societal norm for men to ask out women because men have more testosterone and are visually stimulated

      Women should engage in conversation with people they want to engage with, but not engaging in conversation has nothing to do with judgement. Don't make the mistake in thinking it's stressless for women to not talk to men they're interested in because it is both stressful to put yourself out there and to risk never having that person know you're interested

      You're not helping women's hostility by being so hostile yourself. There's a lot of bitterness in your post. It's your obligation to ask out women too if you want a relationship

      Personally I don't approach men because I have plenty approaching me and don't need to waste my time

  • "A real man will make his intentions known if he truly cares about you or wants to be a part of your life."

    Wrong. Sort of.

    How can a guy care about you, if he doesn't know you? How does he know if he wants you to be part of his life?
    This is true IN relationships, but not with approaching women.

    If a girl is hanging out with party girls wanting to meet a guy who's wants be serious, then how is the guy supposed to know that?

    It's also rather silly to just dismiss guys that are 'shy'. They may have reasons that aren't what you think. In fact some might not really be shy, but have another reason to not approach.

    Like age, you two being co-workers, assumptions about who you are (he thinks you are a party girl, when only your friends are, for instance), and whatnot.

    Also, just not trying to get to know someone because he may have deep rooted insecurities, is hypocritical when you want someone to get to bite the bullet and get to know you, when you are expecting guys to approach you, and never approach anyone yourself.

    The problem is, that many girls passively attract guys, like a judge for American Idol. They wait for guys to bring their best act and judge it.
    While more successful girls know that dating is like fishing.
    You need to choose the best bait and fish in the right way.

    This means that sometimes you need to approach and talk with guys to find what YOU want rather than sit back and let guys come to you.
    No, that doesn't mean you need to ask a guy out, but does mean that if guys aren't coming to you, or you don't like the ones that do, then do something about it and find one you do like.

    Otherwise you are just like those shy guys that expect something to drop into their lap.

    • Men who see women and want women to be a part of their lives or night will approach women. Men who care about women they know will let those women know

      So not wrong at all

      Guys can care about anybody, even people they don't know. I've had many guys want me to be a part of their lives before they approach me

      I made a point about friend groups, so you should read MyTake all the way through before commenting

      This MyTake has nothing to do with shy or insecure guys. This is addressed to attractive women who do not receive the expected male attention from non-shy or insecure men

      I'm not hypocritical at all. Guys hit on me constantly, at work, the grocery store, driving down the road, in my friends' Snapchat videos... I don't have any interest in men until they express interest in me, I need a special form of eye contact first

      I can agree dating is like fishing

      If you read MyTake, you'll read where I encourage women to engage in conversation and meet new people as well

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    • Okay. Let's approach this from another angle.

      Effort in relationships. (Or perceived effort.)

      If a guy is the one doing the approaching, and the asking out, what effort is the girl giving?
      Who's supposed to ask the girl out for the second date? The guy?
      If the guy is doing all the work, what return is he expecting?

      If he's willing to put in all the effort, then he's expecting sex. Since he's not going to get an equal relationship out of it.

      However, if the girl approaches the guy, then she's put in effort. She breaks the ice, and the guy asks for her number. Equal effort.

      When a guy sees a hot girl waiting for people to approach her, she comes off as entitled.
      That is a perception problem that doesn't have to do with insecurity, but a belief that the girl is high maintenance.
      If a guy is looking for a serious relationship, you are showing you are open to an equal one by waiting for him.

      Now, if you do approach him, and he doesn't ask you out, then move on.

    • LOL You couldn't be more wrong here if you tried

      This MyTake is about how women can attract men, but nowhere did I tell women to not approach men nor did I make this about men. You're wrong--most women who approach men do so because they want sex and not real relationships, and I write for people who desire real relationships

      I do go after what I want, but I don't want strangers. I'm not attracted to men I don't know. I need to be able to respect a man and know he'll commit to me before having any sort of attraction to him. Once he's proved this to me, I have no problem telling him I want a relationship or for him to leave me alone if he isn't willing to commit to me. I also have no problem dumping someone if he cheats on me or doesn't put in the proper effort

      Relationships are a two-way street (you'd know that was my view if you read MyTake) and both parties have to put in effort if they want things to work out. I advise both men and women to put in more effort, not less

  • But…I’ve thought, that you, women don’t like this cat calling. And you don’t wasn’t some drunk asshole to yell at you.
    I’m unable to recognize, which woman should be intimidating for me.
    Cats. :-) Yeah, they are predators. Their big cousins could hunt most of us just out of boredom. Cats are almost perfect predators.
    OK, I’ve just finished reading the definition of intimidating woman, and…I’ve never met someone like this. I don’t meet lot of people, sure. But somehow, I think, that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell. I just don’t recognize it.
    I totally agree on how men reacts on women. I cannot help myself, but wonder, how it would be look like, if men just lost most of their interest in women. If men would behave to women like women to men. So no more cat calling, no more likes, no more comments, no more approaching, and stuff like that. It would be really interesting to see.
    One thing. I know, you are aware of that, but…please, don’t generalize. Not all men. We are not homogenous group, as proven by my existence among other things. But…again. I know you know this, and it would be long to write it every time. Some disclaimer or something could help.
    But god damn, you are right, at least as far as I am concerned. :-D I knew few women, who acted more like men, and it was huge turn down for me.
    Ah, $hillary as successful women. OK, she…is. As much I hate to admit that, she is. But…how election turned out? She lost to that orange, primitive buffoon, Drumpf. She is…boring, status quo, corporatist shill… She is terrible as a politician.
    Later on: Success in corporations: Here I blame the system. Promotion and different positions should be given based on skills required for that position. So, you can be cutthroat as much you like, you’ll just don’t get it. Be good at what you are doing at your level and you might get paid more, than the one above you.
    Ah, there is the part of $hillary. OK, here is the thing. She is a reptilian. No, seriously, just look at her. How she behaves and so on. She is god damn reptilian. :-D Obviously, I’m not being serious, but… She is a reptilian. :-D
    Personally, I don’t like much too active people. And too active for me is not active for others, apparently. :-D

    • Girls tells you… OK, I call BS on that. No, they might tell you, but it’s really hard to believe, that nobody talks to them. Aaand…I stand partially corrected. Yeah, online they do. In real life…sure, I would unless, if they are on their phones all the time, with group of their friends… Nope for me. But I wouldn’t do it anyway, so…
      Fun activities are subjective. Being in club is nightmare for me.
      Hide lies. Or…just not lie in the first place. Just a suggestion.
      Ah, the part about men not approaching women at the end. :-) Yeah, I’m here. So…I guess I’m not real man. I’m imaginary one, I exist in the complex number plain. Or better, hypercomplex superspace. But I have my real part = to 0, so I still have 3 dimensions. None of them real, of course. OK, OK. Just…checking.

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    • Wow you’ve actually read this? OMG, thank you! :-) I’ve written this somehow naturally, reacting to stuff. And then, when it was completed, I was like „OK, nobody will read this. There is just…nobody. But…I’ve already written this, so I might just post it“.
      You are first person (in the world, ever), who thanks me for positivity. Unless you’re being sarcastic. In that case…I actually like it even more. :-D
      I’ve thought, that many (most) girls don’t like it. You might be either exception, or truth telling, because I find hard to believe, that complimenting good look is annoying.
      I’m not disagreeing with that. :-) Hillary-like woman would be unattractive to me.
      Oh, say hi from me. :-D
      That…still doesn’t sound like fun to me. I would not enjoy dancing, I don’t like it.
      Yes, luck, that I’ll need. A lot. :-D

    • Oh you're welcome. I try to make an effort to reply to comments on my posts because I like to encourage discussion, never know who I'm really going to help with it, and appreciate it when people answer me as well

      I was being serious about your positivity. That is a good quality to have, especially on this site. Being a positive person is an attractive quality, so make sure women see that in you. While I appreciate sarcasm and use it frequently in my daily life, I generally avoid it online since it's difficult to convey non-sincerity (with deadpan delivery and lacking vocal tone)

      Women love humor and when you compliment their looks. So no matter what anybody says, if you compliment a woman's looks and make her life, she will at least like you on a subconscious level

      You don't have to do thing and go places that you don't like. Do things and go places that you do and make you comfortable

      You make your own luck

  • I never approach women and neither do most guys my age and younger, and it has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any of the reasons you listed above.

    The only thing I find "intimidating" about most women is that they're extremely selfish, unbelievably, comically arrogant, self-righteous, and they're also extremely petulant, and judgmental, and demanding, and mean. Mean for the fun of it. Only nice to people when they want something from them, and preemptively mean and nasty to everyone else. But more than all of that, the very MOST intimidating thing about most women is that they're very, very, very disloyal.

    They don't support you, they don't nurture you, they DEMAND that you fulfill their long list of requirements and obligations, all of which revolve around making HER happy all the time, and the instant you can't live up to that, she's already sleeping with the next guy.

    They don't want to BUILD a winning team together, they just want to FIND a winner to team up with. And that's fucking disgusting to me no matter how "attractive," or "successful," or "independent" these women may be.

    And I am GRATEFUL, truly! I am GRATEFUL that I'm a little on the short side and not that handsome, because if I WAS a good-looking guy, I just know that I would be easy prey for all these disgusting, parasitical women, and I just know that they would chew me up and spit me out like they do to MOST guys.

    I can honestly say I prefer masturbation and quite frankly, so do a more and more guys, including some hat are very good-looking and could get any girl they wanted, but they don't want any of them anymore.

    And no, that's not because they're just "intimidated."


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    • @HandsomeGuy500

      Lol that's cute. You're using the exact same format my ex used when I dumped him and he tried to make me feel guilty when it was entirely his fault for cheating

      I have been correct the entire time. The further you drag this out, the further you prove me right. You're nothing but an insecure misogynist who knows no woman will ever be interested in you because you're incapable of treating her with love or respect. Your accounts of history have been proven wrong multiple times by myself and other users (and even yourself because you posted that one article that agreed with me about how more men cheat than women). You're not going to be able to bully me into believing any part of your delusion

    • As usual more shit out of your ass. Women cheat just as much as men, maybe more. They shit on the good men and stay with the bad men. There might be exceptions but in general that's how it is. I user to have a girlfriend, treated her special, was faithful, and loved her deeply. And all she did was lie and cheat. I then came across many other men who were cheated on where their girlfriend or wife left them for some douche bag. You're just a deluded female in denial who can't admit fault.

  • It depends on the guy, some guys don't care, they have the "I don't give a fuck approach". Other guys are intimidated by girls as you mentioned (looks, status, physical strength). I was like that but eventually after I started sticking up for myself at work to my eldest sister (who is a complete bitch btw). I started to be comfortable with myself, from doing work presentations to class debates and yes, talking to girls became easier for me.

    I am not trying to gloat but I spoke to attractive girls before, I have dated attractive girls before, heck, I even met some of my favorite WWE female wrestlers like Chyna, Trish Stratus and Lita. Chyna (may she RIP) was my favorite female wrestler growing up in the late 90s/early 2000s, on tv she was a beautiful, tall, muscular woman, kind of like the modern day Wonder Woman. Fast forward from 2002 to 2013, I finally had my chance to talk to Chyna regularly on Twitter through DM's, on Skype and I was supposed to meet her in Toronto, personally.

    The reason why I brought up Chyna is that, here is a woman who is beautiful, intelligent, in the spotlight, fame, has money, most guys would be intimidated by that. When I got to talk to her on a real level she was such a nice person. On TV, she played a character that fought men, punched them in the balls and was a total bitch but in real life far from it. Perception plays a role in a man's eyes, however, men and guys cannot have a pre-conceived notion about a woman unless he approaches her. If she is a bitch, then at least he knows by walking away and say he dodged a bullet.

    • This MyTake is about what prevents attractive women from being approached even by the "I don't give a fuck" guys because there are girls who claim they intimidate those guys as well. Although I do agree it depends on the guy as to whether he will approach a girl or not, the point is there's always someone brave enough that it's the fault of a woman to not even draw the attention of those guys

      That's pretty cool you got to meet some wrestlers. I got to meet Jeff and Matt Hardy when I was in high school. I was so excited I couldn't even say anything! And one of the ladies who went with us got a kiss from Matt

      Well yes men would be intimidated by a celebrity, especially a professional athlete with an attitude reputation, but I addressed this to average girls that men don't already know anything about. 90% of the time a guy has to approach a girl before knowing personality, intelligence, # of degrees, aggression...

  • This hits the spot.

    For example, a few weeks ago at a friends' party, I met a specimen of a modern "strong, independent, intimidating woman". The truth was that she was loud, boisterous, and loved hear herself talk and be the center of attention.

    Also, she had a tramp stamp, and talked in excruciating length about how she wanted to have it lasered out, then showed it to everyone around. Considering the looks of it, I asked if she'd gotten it in prison.

    • Ooh, that's a rough one. She sounds like a girl who spends too much time concerning herself with what others think about her and is unable to find satisfaction from within. Her behavior sounds a bit trashy as well, and respectable behavior is much more attractive for committed relationships

  • This I can agree with for a change, except for the last paragraph.
    If there is a guy YOUR eye draws itself to then stop being an entitled princess and go after him instead, women expecting everything served to them on the silver platter who go around thinking they get to define "real men" are very unattractive too.

    Also I find it very weird for women in groups of 3 to be the most approachable.
    I would never approach a woman if she wasn't alone.

    • Well then just ignore the last paragraph so we can agree on something for once. LOL

      Yes women have the option to approach men if they want to, but it's unrealistic to expect women as a whole to start asking men out when men are biologically designed to take more risks and seek out mates more than women. Personally I don't have to do that because I receive plenty of male attention even from the few guys I've been interested in

      Every woman gets to define what a real man is to her the same way every man gets to define what a real woman is to him. As long as you aren't insulting or causing harm to anyone with your definition, it's fine to have your own even if other people don't agree with it

      Do you approach women for relationships or sex? Groups of 3 is in a club or bar setting, not everyday life such as walking through a mall or at the grocery store. Women who go to clubs alone receive mainly sexual attention, not men looking for serious relationships

    • The thing with groups, I find it weird to intrude on someone who is already having a good time, what would the other people do while we talk? Sit around being annoyed?
      To me being with other people falls into the line of the previous thing you mentioned "looking unavailable", I'd be much more likely to approach someone who is alone simply because I'd assume I'm not intruding on anything important that they are doing.
      But then again I don't really approach, so maybe I have a different mindset.

      As for definitions lol, the thing is they are always going to insult people because by "defining" you make them feel inadequate.
      Nobody gets to define their "real self" but themselves, you CAN choose to not like their self but I'd state it as a preference.
      In the grand scheme of things it shouldn't matter who you insult but you can shoot yourself in the foot if you end up insulting their friends and start looking shallow, especially if your definitions are seemingly self-serving.

    • Hmmmmm... I'd be willing to bet that you just have a different mindset here. When I am with a group of people (I usually go out with 1-3 friends) I am ready to relax, have fun, and meet new people. When I go to a club to dance with my friends, I am most open to guys approaching me because I'm not focused on work, grocery shopping, or wishing I was at home sleeping in my bed. As for the "What are her friends supposed to do?" question, that's why most guys bring a wingman, but my friends and I will either continue with each other or talk to someone else, granted he doesn't just talk to all of us (because when you date a girl, you have to meet her friend group eventually)

      I agree that people feel inadequate by definitions, yet people try to define themselves all the time (LGBTQ, demisexual...) This is their insecurity as I have no intention of offense. If the truth hurts, you have a problem. Self-esteem comes from within, not taking offense to someone else's definitions

  • Yes, if she's always on her phone, I'm not going to approach.

    I'll admit that I have the look like "a man on a mission" at times. That's when I want to get in, get what I need, and get out. I'm working on it (that and growing a pair as @OlderAndWiser pointed out).

    • That's a good place to start. While most women aren't intimidating to men, men can often be intimidating to women. Presenting yourself as friendly and open is always best when it comes to romance

  • I don't find strong, successful, independent women intimidating, like I don't find most strong, successful, independent men intimidating--what I do find intimidating is when people are rude for no apparent reason. That's more of an individual's problem though.

    • Exactly what I'm talking about here. Most strong, successful, independent people aren't intimidating because they don't actively cause people to fear for their lives or physical well-being. (But the contrary of slackers, criminals, and addicts can be quite intimidating)

    • Yeah exactly, success doesn't equal intimidating, rudeness does

  • TLDR. Seems on browse it's not too far off the mark.
    But seriously, you really came up with all that yourself? LOL

    I always say men really aren't intimidated by any woman unless she's actually threatening to kick his ass. :)

    • Hmmmm... I came up with most of it by myself, but I started thinking about the subject in-depth about 6 months ago from a comment I read on GAG (but I can't remember what that original comment was...)


  • Good take.
    You omitted one kind: girls showing wealth (jewels, expensive clothes and car , hobbies) will turn away guys who aren't in the same 'financial league'.
    It's also another way of being emotionally unavailable to guys who aren't in the same league. "Don't try if you can't pay the same golf club I pay".
    (and it's normal: rich parents don't want their daughter to come home with a 'poor' guy.

    • While I could see a portion of men not hitting on women who appear to be in a higher financial league, it's also less likely that two people in such drastic financial leagues would habit the same bars, clubs, places of work, cafes... That may be an issue for some men and women, but I'd clump that into the "presentation" aspect of expressing yourself visually to attract the type of guy you're interested in

    • Or maybe I'm just too poor for that to ever have been an issue for me LOL

      I financially support myself, so I expect a man to financially support himself as well, but I don't expect him to be rich

    • @IKdonthaveausername they can attend the same university or work in the same company.
      Some rich girls have a career. (luxuries paid by dad or sugar daddy? How to know it?)

  • I just fill like I want be good enough for her if she a smart collage girl that look good. and sometime I think maybe if she help me I be what she want. also girl never stay to long so I dont get to know them I want to have something more to ask them out than just because they look good.

    • That's not uncommon at your age. People mature with age, learn what they want in life and out of a relationship, and are more likely to commit and settle down. Wait a couple of years, improve yourself in the meantime, and you'll see more women thinking you're good enough and be willing to stick around longer

  • Some men may not approach "intimidating" Women, some men may not consider a strong woman intimidating at all.

    A strong woman (or a tiger) will always have her man's back. It is a soothing feeling for a man to be emotionally connected to a woman, strong or not so strong.

    Now there may some women who I won't agree with their ideology that I choose not to debate with, but it has nothing to do with me thinking they are intimidating or strong.

    • All true. Everyone has a different perspective on life due to their own personal experiences

      My main point her is that beauty in and of itself does not make a woman too intimidating to be approached at all. Rather, women should notice more attention as their beauty increases

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    • And since beauty of the mind is the type that does not fade, it is the more important one

    • What some may consider a woman as intimidating, I would consider her a tiger. A passionate quality I admire, a quality I find erotic. To stimulate the mind of a tiger, enough to make her purr like the smallest kitty kat in the litter, is sexy.

  • well that was a pretty loose use of the word "intimidation" XD i´m not "intimidated" by overly muscular hulk girls. it´m disgusted. i´m not "intimidated" by girls with huge attitudes. i´m pissed off by them. intimidation is a whole other level.

    • That's exactly my point. Women aren't really intimidating to men, they just aren't attractive because the qualities they consider to be intimidating are too masculine

    • after all however you are there will still be guys that like you xD it´s not worth it to bend your personality just so guys won´t be intimindated. however you should avoid having only male friends as a girl. that´s the one thing that actively keeps interested guys off of you XD

    • While I wouldn't change myself to attract someone, I would be open to improving myself to make a relationship work if I really loved the guy. It is up to every individual whether it is worth it or not to change themselves for romance. For or some women who are nearing their 30s without success and still want to have children, it may be worth it

      My problem with having female friends is I hate the drama and jealousy that girls bring with them. I've tried having female friends for a little over a year now, and they're starting to get on my nerves with their trashy behavior. I've started hanging out more with my new male coworker because they're just less dramatic and more interested in actually having fun. When I was dating my ex, I tried to hang out with my female friends more, but then he tried to hookup with one because everyone knows she's a hoe... So I either need a guy who has a new friend group for me or is ok with me only spending time with him...

  • This comes up over and over on this site, but I really think that the whole "intimidating woman" thing is a fallacy. If you feel that men don't approach women in public, then I would agree with that, but that's more due to the current social meta. In general, it's more and more frowned upon for any male to approach a female that he does not already know but this has nothing to do with "intimidation" but rather just the reality as to what is considered socially acceptable. I think the only remaining place where a man can definitely approach a woman is through online dating because in that environment, the woman is explicitly advertising that she's accepting contact.

    That said, while I don't think men are intimidated by successful/independent/strong women, I do think that other women are intimidated by those types of women. My guess is that's the real source of these questions and takes -- women are often intimidated by successful women and thus they assume that men must be too.

    • I myself get approached often and see other women get approached often, so I think the majority of men still do ask women out and the majority who don't are only on websites like this. I haven't seen any negative connotations towards the way people view men who approach women except from other men who don't respect women. And yes I would definitely agree that online dating is a great place for men to approach women

      Your assumption there is incredibly accurate. Women have a much different social hierarchy than men and the women who intimidate other women can often be seen on the outskirts of this hierarchy. I've actually had people tell me I'm intimidating before even though I'm only 5 feet tall, didn't have any friends until a year ago, and am not rich or famous. Women don't even understand each other sometimes, so it's kind of futile for men to try :)

  • I wouldn't approach a woman out of my league for the same reason I wouldn't apply for a job I'm under-qualified for: I know I'll get rejected.

    • Not all women whom you perceive to be out of your league are going to reject you. Many gorgeous women care more about personality than looks in a partner, especially those looking for genuine and committed relationships

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    • There is no such thing as leagues, only shallowness in people who aren't willing to get to know somebody first. Your problem is that you also have an ugly personality. If you want to be in a relationship, then you need to improve your personality first

      You are in denial. There is no delusion here except your own

    • exactly ugly personality. yeah, if we are realistic most 9s and 10s go after billionaires and world class football players, but even if you found the one 10, that can fall for you, you would indirectly reject her with your personality.

  • My intimidation by women is more of a trust issue for me. I don't trust people in general unless they are my family or close friends.

    When I decide to start looking for a girlfriend I'm not going to flirt with a woman just because she's "pretty", she has to show interest in me first before I even consider flirting.

  • i bet men approaching women will probably remain the norm until our sun expires, when our Sun runs out of hydrogen and incinerates the Earth.

    • Yes it will because men have more testosterone that causes them to take more risks, desire sex more often, and there will always be men ballsy, drunk, or brave enough to ask out even the most beautiful women. Guys who never ask women out will remain alone because they will lose women to men who are willing to risk it

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    • Women do love testosterone laden drunks alwrighty, is that the kind of guy that really gets your panties wet?

    • @Margillard

      Absolutely not. My father was an alcoholic, so alcoholics disgust me. Drinking should be done in moderation once you get over the initial excitement phase. I'm not interested in alcoholics. As a female, testosterone is attractive to me, but I don't jump on guys just because they have testosterone. And as a virgin, no I don't sleep around, especially not with drunks

  • Agreed. This really all boils down to the fear of rejection here.

    • Finally something we agree on! LOL

      Women who want to be approached more often need to present themselves in a more approachable way that doesn't say they'll automatically reject men

    • like women have no fear and insecurities. all the pressure is on man cause no matter how we sugarcoat it we choose in the end. and also men have to pleasure women at 80% and us only 20 to them. (in all levels, confidence, charisma, mentally, flirting, bedroom etc). the percentage changes as we get to more alpha couples and gets closer to 50-50.

    • Well yeah, but you can't have the dude wasting his time if he doesn't know that the woman actually likes him when she doesn't let him know in any way. I know it's scary to be rejected sometimes, but you just have to try lol

  • If you don't look approachable, you aren't going to get approached... It's not a question of whether a girl has confidence, whether she's successful, or seems to have high standards...

    It truly is all about whether she look like she's friendly, fun to be around, and fun to talk to.

  • Love the last photo...

    ... or you have quads bigger than mine. I love athletic girls, but dude don't burn everything that makes you feminine off.

    • Haha I love that last one too, but have to admit she has given up a portion of her femininity to maintain that physique. Health and fitness is attractive, but women can loose attractiveness with fitness

  • Funny and useless take! Men don't approach intimidating women for the same exact reasons women don't approach intimidating men. And this take is too opinionated. People have different preferences in attracting a mate.

    • ... nevermind sorry you mentioned that didn't you? Lol

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    • You keep saying that, but it doesn't matter. This is about generalizations and the average person, not individuals. Yes people are alike when you put them into groups and try to find what they all have in common

      Men are like men and women are like women, sexually speaking. Men are not like women in this sense

      Sexual compatibility has nothing to do with being visual or not

      I use accurate data backed by multiple sources. You're the one using unfounded hypothesis that misinterpret the studies that back up what I'm saying

      At this point you're just choosing to be in denial or are in fact delusional

    • We've already discussed your findings. Proven wrong plenty of times. Sorry

  • I find that the law and false accusations of assaults to be an important factor as well. This is mostly relevant to the women who are mentally unstable when it comes to intimidation though.

    • Most women who falsely accuse men of assaulting them are women whose advances have been rejected by men. Women don't falsely accuse men of assaulting or harassing them when men do the approaching. If men take rejection well and don't assault or harass women, they will not be falsely accused of anything, but if men do assault or harass women, then they are deserving of the accusations

  • yes I often think that women talk about guys beeing intimidatd a lot because it makes them feel better and it's easier than changing something about themselves. This applies to guys too of course but that's a different topic :P

  • When I hear about a woman being "intimidating", I don't think about some insanely attractive woman I don't have a chance with.

    What I think about "intimidating", what I think about is a woman with body language that says "don't bother me". I will pass this woman up with no problem, I'm not into seeking a challenge, instead I will simply find another woman that is more open in her body language.

  • I don't think it's necessarily intimidation, but rather guys thinking they're out of a girl's league.

    • no such thing as league... that just a place your mind puts you

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    • @Tdieseler Please spread the news about "no such thing as a league". I've been trying to tell all the guys that say that to me that it's not a thing but, they don't listen. Maybe they'd listen to you.

      @CHRISENSIO And you spread the word "Confidence is a very poweful thing a guy can have in the dating game". It's totally woman approved and I know a lot of guys that you tell them that as a woman and they don't believe you.

    • Leagues don't exist, only people who are too shallow to get to know someone's personality first

      Confidence is definitely woman-approved. I've only been interested in confident average guys because hot guys are always too cocky when they approach me and insecure ones are always awkward (not in the good way) about it

  • Well if your at a night club 🍹 and you see a very pretty model like girl sitting at the bar, then you see another girl lets say she's on the big side wears glasses 👓 most men will think the model girl will more than likely turn me down or it will be too much work to get her, the other girl the guy might assume there's a very high chance there, to me though its all in the head.

    • And the point here isn't that most men are too insecure to approach the model. The point here is that a few men will approach her because they're drunk or brave enough. This was addressed to women who think they're too beautiful to ever be hit on when that simply isn't the case--they're not hit on at all because men don't see them as desirable

  • My advice to men is to avoid women like the plague. Pursuing women is no longer worth the hassle.

    • amen to this

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    • @Tdieseler I see that she has finally wrapped you round her little finger. What a plonker.

    • There are other arguments to be had on here... can't keep coming back. quench this one, begin anew.

  • Show more from Guys

What Girls Said 23

  • Interesting. I'm not sure I agree with all the points made, especially at the beginning when the very literal definition of "intimidating" was used to try and describe the affect a person can have on another in a social/romantic pursuit. I don't think that in the circumstances that females are asking for advice in, that they are literally scaring men to the point of being afraid for their well-being. Seemed a bit over-dramatic.

    Personally, I have been told by several guys that I am intimidating because I have multiple college degrees, I am ambitious, they found me attractive, and I know what I want. An example, a guy told me that he knew what kind of guy he needed to be for me, but that he didn't feel that he was enough or ready, because I pursue intentional relationships.

    For me, this isn't about being bitchy or who needs to take initiative with who approaches who (for some, it may be). I think that based upon how a girl (and guy) portrays themselves, dresses, interacts with people, etc.. will really determine the type of attention you will attract. If you act and dress slutty and easy, douche-y guys will come onto you because it tells them the type of attention you are asking for.

    However, if you are respectful, intelligent, subtly attractive, and somewhat reserved, that says something very different. Guys and girls pick up on the fact that you require more of a pursuit rather than an easy catch.

    • Yes not true. Too opinionated this Take.

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    • @Djaaay Compatibility. Highly recommended!

    • Most women don't literally scare men to the point of being afraid for their well-being, especially not by looking pretty, so that's exactly my point in saying that beautiful women aren't intimidating

      I mentioned that some men are intimidated by women who are more intelligent than them, but that strangers in a bar don't know your IQ or how many masters degrees you have, so your intelligence isn't intimidating strangers into not hitting on you

      And I pointed out there are some men who find women intimidating, but some men don't represent the vast majority of men. And even women who do have that "intimidating" effect do not intimidate all men, so if an attractive woman receives no male attention, it's because of her personality or presentation not being attractive to men

      I couldn't agree more with your last two paragraphs

  • This post is really reaching to impress and service the egos of men. It's quite female bashing and full of fiction. I really don't see where you're getting at with this.

    I am good looking and rarely get left alone, I imagine 9s and 10s to not get as much attention as I do, many people get tongue tied when they find you attractive, it happens where people are intimidated by someone's looks.

    I am bold and have not approached guys that I thought were too hot for me, he stared at me the whole night and it was clear he wants me, still I didn't go over there. Very attractive men too find it hard to talk to me, even though I don't consider myself a 10, it happens.

    Men love independent women? Tell that to the man who sped off after stalking me in the streets and finally pulled up by my feet, we spoke briefly, he found out I had to head to work, looked disappointed and sped off, he was very ugly anyway and I didn't plan to call him, I was being nice.

    I find it hilar when women act anti-feminist to please men who will disappoint them anyway. Pretense and manipulation can only get you so far, but not the person's heart.

    • Service the egos of men? Seriously? This Take is highly offensive to us!! WTF LOL

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    • They drive up to me all the time, one just did it in front of my new boyfriend, he laughed because he was just dumbfounded by how disrespectful some guys can be. I usually cover my legs but showed them because I was walking with a man who was obviously mine and they still hit on me in front of him.

    • That exactly proves the point I was trying to make with this MyTake in the first place. If a woman is attractive (or has attractive legs at the least) she will be hit on by men, so any women who doesn't get hit on by men just isn't attractive to them for some reason or another

  • i don't agree that insecure guys won't approach a beautiful woman. there is a REAL probability that is statistically proven- that the more attractive person you are, the greater likelihood you will not be faithful. there's lots of good guys who aren't insecure in themselves- they're insecure about YOU. an attractive woman is much more likely to cheat simply because she does have many men hitting on her all the time. and there are so many men out there who don't even care when they see a wedding ring- they will still try to hit on you. it's totally disgusting. these great guys simply know what's best for them and a stunningly beautiful woman might just be more trouble than she's worth. i've had great conversations with guys before and everything seemed to be clicking. i could definitely tell he was attracted. but later i'd just get a message that it was great to meet me. a few of these guys i was able to pry out an explanation that i was too good looking and that they didn't like the idea of their woman being ogled by every other man in the room for the rest of his life. seems legit to me. i don't want every woman making eyes at my man. it sucks but i get it.

    • While I do get where you're coming from, I still disagree with it as a whole. My ex was not very attractive and he cheated on me. I have a friend who is of below average attractiveness and she's cheated in the past and says she'd do it again. I have a pretty friend who cheates and gets cheated on by every guy she dates whether he's attractive or not. While people tell me I'm beautiful all, I would never cheat and am extremely faithful in relationships

      Cheating is a mindset and cheaters are going to cheat when they can because that's what they want o do. Yes attractive people have more options to cheat than less attractive people, but that doesn't mean all attractive people are going to abuse those opportunities or that ugly people won't cheat on you given the chance

      Now all that into consideration, yes it may prevent a few guys from hitting on you, but it won't prevent all of them

      And yes that is the insecurity of the person fearing being cheated on

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    • if what you are saying is that you want a man who wants sex, but also wants other things in addition to- then you're correct. but naive people make the mistake of being what's called an idealist. you could be as hot as kate upton and have a dazzling IQ and successful job or whatever and wonderful family, etc, etc. but at the end of the day, a male's interest is inserting his penis into a female. male and female relations exist to support this little thing in science, we call "reproduction". if the male KNOWS that no matter what he does you are not going to help him reproduce, then you become a transient interest in his life. he may tolerate your presence for certain situation but his effort is always directed towards getting sex. marriage and relationship is merely a man-made support system to give something back to the female for her participation and production of a child for the male.

    • you are also careless in your words, because in how you speak you betray your true intent. you say "They're not relationship material or guys I want raising my kids. You and all the other sluts can keep them and I'll wait for someone who respects me"
      you let it slip that you are selfish in nature. you want to someday have kids- but they will be YOUR kids, that HE will raise. you say they aren't relationship material. by making this statement you put yourself in the position of judging the man's worthiness for being in a relationship. it doesn't work that way. if YOU are worthy, the man will PURSUE a relationship with you. if you are unworthy, he abandons you for another pursuit. you want a man to respect you, but men don't respect women. why would a man show deference to, be subordinate to, admiration for, and obedience to, a woman? what woman would want to be with a man beneath her? no dear... men show their LOVE to a woman... and a man gets respect FROM his woman.

  • If this is what men want, us to lower ourselves to keep them in higher position, then I'd rather be single forever than give up my ambitions for him.

    My ex and I were both like, um, nerds and bookworms. Good students, interested in science and literature, loved physics etc stuff. I still remember how how he used to say that I'm too much, need to be more simple, too talented for boys etc. What a weakling. If you want your girl to not be better than you, please feel free to with harder on yourself and actually earn the high positron that you deserve instead of making her drop college or leave her dream career.

    My own cousin's husband made her drop college cause she didn't want her to be more educated than him. My own relatives pick on my sister for being more successful than my brother in law (guess what he doesn't care). In 2008 I remember a university professor picked out his wife's eyes because he was frustrated about her being in a higher position than him.

    I better be single and successful than married and held down.

    • Weak-minded men want women to lower their positions, yes you are correct with that. That's why there's so many male trolls on here who try to attak women for calling out the BS of it all. They know their personalities are terrible, so they try to make women feel even more insecure than them to try and make themselves feel better

      Men who are secure with themselves won't care how educated or successful a woman is

      I in no way am telling women to give up on their dreams and ambitions unless they are getting in the way of family and marriage and if family and marriage are more important. If working around that is possible, that's a better alternative. And settling only breeds resentment, so no I don't support setting in relationships

    • True. Family and house is still primary. But it's not impossible to manage both. In fact my sister is in a highly professional job but she's still doing the housework and my brother-in-law helps her in the best way he can.

      But really, if I can't even raise my children successfully then my career is of no use. I know it's a tough thing and easier said than done which is why I'm not desperate for marriage either. Early or late, I want to be mentally capable of handling all of it before I tie the knot.

  • Haha- I'm slow. I thought this was legit and not a torch. Yeah just work on finding you and who you are and he rest will folllow.

    If date after date the same problems occur then honey you're the pattern.

    I honestly was a woman that never thought I was intimidating but was all business life only for 6 years until I 'got there'. Then paid attention to dating and it was certainly an adjustment. It's not a business meeting and you don't have control and it's diff headspace. I'd be like, yay today I get to meet someone completely different from me or other people I see on the day to day.

    Work, run, yoga shower and dress. Only one bad first date ever from that routine. Speed dating meet and he took every girl to the same restaurant and sat them at the same table, same waitress, same night of the week and under a spotlight, no shit.

    Glad I was two minutes late, he was good looking, good job, two cars with a weird hamster kitty litter sitch.

    I asked what part of town he lived in which he took as "how much do you make?" I asked because I worked long hours and had a place downtown and was leading to a what part do you hang do you like downtown type question.

    Always supported myself from age 5 financially when my Dad died then aggressively through my own career as that money don't live forever.

    Point is, money wasn't on my mind but this guy hears the name of my gym and then told me he insisted on walking me to my car 50 ft to make sure I was safe, not towed and what not. I hit my key to flash the lights to show him my car is there.

    He then goes but yeah I just want to make sure you aren't another assistant wasting my time looking for a rich guy. Took him the 50 ft to my car to prove it existed and he asked if I bought it or my parents. He responded that this is why I'll never get married because I think I don't need a man.

    It was weird but I think he represents a lot of men I don't normally meet. It was a nicer restaurant, he wouldn't let me pay other than maybe the tip ( can't remember that part).

    But I was two minutes late, parked in meter parking which was free and showed up keys in hand which were foreign car. I did up at the gym where other women comment on outfit choice so I tried hard.

    But he saw rich bitch. He had a great job but that was his thing. He tore me apart. Gym loving, European driving bitch. Truth is Birkenstocks all day I'm not glam.

  • I agree with most of this in the most general sense... but the thing you fail to acknowledge is that the majority of men have weaknesses... and insecurities, which basically puts them in your last meme there...
    So what you've written only applies to a very small number of men on Earth...

    (It's still a large number, but looking at the entire planet, not such a huge number after all...)

    And this has nothing to do with how good or nice or kind or eligible they are... it just means that a woman doesn't wait to be approached - she does the approaching.

    • Bullshit I hear

    • Show All
    • @FýrdracaDócincel Because men don't admit to being insecure and weak, got it. *wink wink*

    • @azzntittiz My sense of humor/sarcasm/whatthefuckever is shot today. What's your point?

  • Omg... I can't tell if this is meant to be serious or satire because it's too long and I just skimmed it, but I admire your perseverance in writing it.

    • Lol thank you. I do intend everything I write to be serious, but yes there is a hint of satire for those people who can read between the lines enough to get it

  • I'm curious too. I haven't really changed my eating habits but I'm doing this program 5x a week. It's fairly challenging, and after two weeks I can just barely get through. Will I see any results?

  • Uhmmm online I get like approached on proper sites close to 15 times a day and I don't use dating apps. Only difference is I'm usually just friendly

  • Actually men are cunts to admit they don't appreach skanks real truth lol

    • What's that supposed to mean , girl?

    • Hahaha! I see men go after skanks all the time when I reject them. Guys will never admit it, but skanks wouldn't continue to act like they do if no men payed them any attention for it

  • I guess, dude. I still feel like someone can be intimidating by you being afraid of how they might negatively react. If I were a guy who met a women who was beautiful, had a job, was getting a decent salary, and I didn't feel adequate, I might be intimidated by her in the sense that I feel like if I came on to her she might reject me or I might be humiliated.

  • Lol this is going to sound bad but I have a feeling you wrote this take because you've gotten old and guys aren't approaching you anymore

    • Um... nope... not at all

      I'm 22, so not old at all. I get approached constantly, usually once or twice a day. If I go out on the weekends, I generally have no less than 5 guys or girls approach me

      I wrote this for girls who complain about being too pretty to be in relationships when they really just have bad personalities or sit on their phones and do nothing to socially interact with people

    • Oh okay. I thought you were older. But I do agree that many girls won't for the life of them admit that maybe there's something wrong with them and not the entire male gender

  • Tl;dr. Men don't approach intimidating women for the exact same reason they don't approach any other type woman. Fear of being rejected.

  • I attract men who only interested in having sex, not getting to know me. What could I possibly be doing to attract that?

    Guys also tend to make me their "second" or "backup" options, i. e. keeping me in the fence while they decide if they want me or not, or keeping me around until they get the girl they want. Currently going through this right now with a friend;it didn't work out with one girl after he decided to date her and not me and now wants me. No thank you. What could I be doing wrong there?

    • Your problem is you're assuming something is wrong with you when men are using you, why isn't something wrong with them?

    • @azzntittiz I used to think something was wrong with them! And perhaps there is. But if it's the same thing over and over, maybe I'm doing something wrong.

    • If you want to think that way, well cool. But I used to think through my problems and blame myself too. Then when I tired everything and end up getting confessions of why I realized I wasn't in the wrong.
      Maybe you pick a type, I wish you the best though.

  • I'm a nice woman.

  • Men are stupid that's the reason 😏

  • Most of the time it's because they're very attractive, actually.

    • Not at all. Attractive women get hit on constantly whether they want to or not. If an attractive woman isn't getting hit on, it's because something about her personality is instantly unattractive to men or she comes off as unavailable

  • I guess I'm not intimidating after all

  • Hillary Clinton has a forced smiled because she's miserable

    • Who wouldn't be when they stuck with a husband who so publicly cheated on her? All to advance her career goals and she ended up not attaining them anyway

  • "strong women only intimidate weak men". no need to get judgmental of them. the way feminism turned women today no wonder noone wants to date a sassy slut. good ol traditional humble housewifes are mostly lost.

    • True good ol traditional humble housewifes are gone, but why do women insist on old fashion men? They are all mostly gone due to the product of feminism too.
      Zen of the day: the glass is already broken

  • People have different preference

  • Interesting

  • Interesting read


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