Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Judging by the "How do I look?" section of this website, the popularity of image-based websites such as Instagram and Snapchat, and the direction of Hollywood and advertisement campaigns these days, appearance is not only obsessed over, but also the main root of many insecurities people have in attracting friends, the opposite sex, and feeling satisfied with life in general. Fortunately attraction involves much more than facial symmetry and solid genes, so applying yourself and working hard to improve your appearance, personality, and way you live your life can immensely improve your attractiveness to the opposite sex

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Several things such as improving your health, wearing nice clothing, and smiling are non-gender-specific ways to increase attraction, but biology hard wires men and women to seek different things in a partner they wouldn't expect a partner to seek in themselves. Therefore focusing specifically on attracting the opposite sex using their expectations rather than holding yourself to society's beauty standards is imperative if you want your efforts to pay off. Men tend to focus more on visual aspects and maternal traits while women lean more towards personality and paternal traits when deciding whether to involve themselves with someone new

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Physical Appearance

Men love beautiful women as the visual-based sex, so it's imperative for a woman to initially physically attract a man on first impression if she wants to hook his interest. Women require men to stack up to their physical expectations as well, but are more lenient if a good man comes along and also find men more attractive as a relationship develops. Physical attraction, deeply-rooted in biology, praises genes, shapes, and hormones that aid in fertility and represent good health, so catering to traditional male-female attraction and maintaining your health subconsciously initiates attraction despite personal preferences. People with good health and genes give birth to more children and have a higher likelihood of raising their children into adulthood. Sexual maturation, testosterone in men and estrogen in women, and good health increase attractiveness

Traditionally Attractive Male Traits

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Cavemen with height, strength, and aggression generally lasted longer in the world and achieved better success in protecting and providing for their wives and children than shorter, weaker, passive cavemen, so women see men with good genes for providing and protection as positive. Women appreciate men with narrow hips and waist, wide shoulders, muscle definition, deep voices, facial hair, strong jawlines, large hands and feet, and high testosterone levels. However, as society progressed and intelligent cavemen created new inventions such as fire, sanitation, cars, and smartphones that improved quality of life, increased longevity, health, and entertainment, men were able to protect their families better, able to produce less children with more reaching adulthood, therefore men with high intelligence can be equally as attractive as those with traditionally physically attractive traits. While most women do like to look at attractive men, an attractive man who get a woman pregnant and leaves her to raise it on her own isn't providing or protecting her, so she is more likely to marry and have children with a less attractive man if he is devoted to her and willing to protect and provide for her even if he is less capable. Women view men older than them as more attractive than those younger

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Yes tall men have an advantage in dating--I'm not going to sugar coat this because my ex was pretty tall and I loved it because I felt safe in his arms when he hugged me and wrapped himself around me--but that doesn't mean short men are doomed, so quit dwelling on it. Women prefer men who are taller than them, but most women don't expect a man to be 6' and plenty of short women like me are satisfied with short and average height men as long as he stands at least an inch or two above us. Height is a bonus for most women, not a requirement. Science says couples with a man 1-2" taller than the women have the longest relationship potential anyway, so aim for similar height if you want to focus on height. Note that women find traditionally masculine protective traits more attractive while ovulating (most likely to get pregnant) and traditionally masculine providing traits more attractive while not, meaning a woman will find you more or less attractive throughout the month, depending on her cycle

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Traditionally Attractive Female Traits

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Cavewomen with high fertility and ability to birth and raise children generally reproduced more children and achieved better success in raising a new generation than those with poor fertility and poor ability to care for children, so men see women with highly erotic genes as positive. Narrow waists and wide hips (a .70 ratio scientifically ranked the most attractive according to men) represent good health in bearing a child for a full 9 months and birthing a child without dying while large breasts feed babies for their first couple months of life and large buttocks and thighs indicate enough fat and nutrients to produce a healthy newborn. The reverse of wide waist, narrow hips, small breasts, and skinny thighs in a woman potentially risks a baby's health in the womb, chances of being born without death, and surviving its first few months alive. Long, thick hair and nails increases health of children in the womb because unhealthy women or women who don't eat enough nutrients have brittle hair and nails as well as unhealthy children. Men view women with high estrogen and low testosterone as the most attractive because high estrogen develops softer features and skin, more curves, a desire for more children in a woman, and a calmer demeanor with higher emotional quotient

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Rich men prefer smaller breasts in women while poor men prefer larger (although most men agree that any breast is attractive despite the size), so a man's biological preferences change due to his social standing, accumulated wealth and assets. A man with more means to provide and protect for his children doesn't require as much health and child-bearing potential in his wife because his fewer children have more chance of reaching adulthood with his resources than a poor man's many children. Scientific breakthroughs and technology such as baby formula, prenatal vitamins, and incubators greatly improved life of unhealthy babies (I lived in an incubator for my first day of life because I was born a month early), so women who don't possess traditionally attractive female traits can now reproduce safely and are considered more attractive than in the past. Women have a shorter fertility window than men (15-30), so youthful features such as round face, smooth skin, large eyes, bow-shaped lips, and short height are a male preference. A high-pitched voice is traditionally attractive on women, but Hollywood sex icons with deep voices have caused men over the last 50 years to also view women with deep voices as seductive

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Good Health

Health is attractive because healthy people produce healthy and more offspring, live long enough to raise their children, and generally have easier and more fulfilling lives because poor health causes unhealthy children, early death, and complications in navigating life. Eating well, working out, and generally maintaining good health is key to attraction. Men prefer women with a healthy weight and enough fat to produce fertile curves while women prefer men with low fat and muscle definition. Obesity is unattractive to both genders, so losing weight is the number one way fat people can increase their physical attractiveness. Underweight and anorexia are unattractive to both genders as well, so gaining weight for those individuals is the number one way to increase their attractiveness. Smooth skin and good complexion, no acne, thick hair (long hair on women especially) and nails, ability and endurance during exercise, lack of allergies and good immune system all represent good health

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

In poor countries and society, attractive health standards change. Overweight men and women are seen as attractive, signifying better wealth and resources. Underweight is the norm, so not seen as unattractive. Healthy weights are still considered attractive in poor countries and societies. The Renaissance era exemplifies this societal phenomenon perfectly

Cosmetics And Surgery

Ugly women wear makeup to hide their flaws; pretty women wear makeup to look prettier. Most women feel pressured to wear makeup socially by other women, and especially when trying to attract men, but most women also go overboard with their makeup to the point where men find them less attractive. Science even proves men prefer women with less makeup than women prefer themselves with. Makeup is a hot subject on this site and most of what I've read leads to: attractive women are attractive without makeup, don't wear so much that you're unrecognizable without it, and light makeup is fine and will make you more attractive. Use makeup to enhance your features, not cover up your flaws because that kind of insecurity makes you less attractive

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Personally I only wear makeup for special occasions, never to work, and sometimes go out on the weekends without it. People tell me I'm beautiful with makeup; people tell me I'm beautiful without makeup. Women give me positive feedback on my artistic qualities in makeup application; men give me positive feedback about being confident enough to not wear makeup. My ex only complimented my physical appearance when I wore no makeup, so I stopped wearing it with him altogether--honestly I hate applying and wearing makeup, so leaving makeup at home is refreshing and more comfortable for me throughout the day

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Surgery is expensive, extensive, risky, and illuminates your insecurities for the whole world to see. Light procedures such as braces, hair removal, and lancing moles are safe, relatively inexpensive, and socially acceptable. Personally I had braces as a teen and people comment on how perfect my smile is all the time (my jaws are slightly offset and my bite is terrible lol) but they were totally worth the pain and I recommend braces to everyone who needs them. Most men prefer real breasts over to implants and you shouldn't be with a man shallow enough to pass over you for the size of your breasts. Penis enhancements are ridiculous and extremely risky--focus more on what you provide to a relationship and ask her how she wants you to satisfy her once you take your pants off. Botox ruins your face completely if botched and wears off in about 10 years anyway. Age gracefully and accept your flaws; confidence is more attractive than insecurity no matter what you look like

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Grooming And Hygiene

Good hygiene is attractive; poor hygiene is unattractive. Shower regularly, brush your teeth everyday, neaten and style your hair, clip your finger and toenails, apply lotion to dry skin and people will find you more attractive than if you look like a slob with greasy hair, smell bad, spit food on people when you eat, and speak with bad breath. Groom your body hair and facial hair if necessary: wax, tweeze, or thread unruly eyebrows, shave your armpits, ladies shave your legs, and men do what you need to do to not look like a shag carpet if that much hair grows on your body. Science says women find men with stubble most attractive for short-term relationships and hookups, men with beards as potentially better fathers and protective, and clean-cut men as higher standing in society, but that facial hair in general makes men more attractive if kept neat. Cut your hair, wash your hair, and style your hair--a new hair style is the easiest way to instantly change your appearance

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Wear figure-flattering and complimentary clothing. Develop your own style, not someone else's or what celebrities with size-0 bodies rave as "in" fashion because it probably won't look good on you. Women compliment your curves and dress sexy, not slutty. Men clean up and show a girl you care about your appearance (I only agreed to go out with my ex after I saw him wearing a suit first). Wear what you feel comfortable wearing and only buy clothes that fit you properly (too tight looks cheap and too loose looks sloppy). Find colors that compliment your skin tone--warm colors for warm skin tone and cool colors for cool skin tone. Science says men are much more attracted to women who wear red clothing, red or pink lipstick, and heels. Wear contacts or attractive glasses that compliment your face shape, and to make yourself look smarter for people who seek intelligence in a partner. Shop at thrift stores if designer brands break your bank and avoid trashy brands unless you're looking for a trashy partner

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Personally I dress pretty modestly and still receive plenty of compliments on my clothing and body because the modest clothing I wear flatters my figure, fits me well, and expresses my personality. My style combines elements of gothic, steampunk, and Lolita clothing, is feminine, and velvet is my favorite material because it's soft to the touch and warm. I wear clips in my hair, but mostly leave it natural because I like my hair the way it is and other people love it too. I wear glasses everyday and use them as accessories (my blue rhinestone pair gets the most compliments, but my ex liked my red ones on me the best). I never leave the house wearing clothing I feel uncomfortable in and I never wear sloppy clothing such as exercise clothing or pajamas and slippers outside. I generally dress like this model in my daily life, but I have curly red hair and glasses. Outfits like this are attractive but respectable, leave something to the imagination, show personality, and act as a conversation starter when meeting new people. I love dresses like this because they flatter my curves without spilling them out everywhere

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Personality

Arguably the more important aspect of finding a partner, I'll keep this short because you need to develop your own personality and come off as authentic or people will avoid you. Personality isn't obvious on first impressions and this MyTake focuses mainly on first impressions for people who feel like nobody finds them attractive. Your personality flaws or mentality may be holding you back from a relationship, so working on yourself is important when working on attracting somebody else

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Happiness And Mental Health

People find happiness and good mental health attractive because crazy and depressed people risk killing themselves and their children. Acting mentally unstable will cause people attracted to you to not see you as stable relationship material. Alcohol and drug abuse, sleeping around, risky behavior, stalking, obsessiveness, "being bipolar", and not getting professional help for any personality, anxiety, or medical disorders you have makes you unattractive. Smile, relax, and learn to enjoy life if you want someone to want to share your life. Nasty, bitchy, asshole, and sloppy behavior comes off as unstable and indicates poor problem-solving skills and patience (meaning you wouldn't know how to properly deal with and raise children). Acting stable, sane, and happy is attractive behavior

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Love yourself first. You can't expect anybody else to love you unless you love yourself. If you're not worth loving, nobody will love you. Make your love worth something by being able to love yourself first. (And narcissism falls into the "unattractive mental disorder" category, so lay off the bathroom mirror selfies)

Respect

Two different studies I've read conducted by two different relationship coaches both came to the same conclusion that respect is the most important factor in a long-term relationship. Yes trust is important, but respect is a prerequisite for trust. Yes love is important, but you can't treat the person you love properly unless you respect them. People who cheat don't respect their marriages and partners. People who divorce no longer respect their marriages and partners. So respect someone you want to date and only date someone you respect. Your garbage in is garbage out; your respect in is respect out

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Respect is earned in this day and age, but respect is only earned by those who also give it. Respect people and other people will learn to respect you. Misogynistic and misandristic behavior is unattractive because it shows you don't respect people. People who are racist, homophobic, heterophobic, intolerant, conceded, arrogant, narcissistic, and and always travel with a cloud of drama lack respect for themselves, other people, and from other people. Be a respectable person for people to respect you and do respectable things in your everyday life

Be Somebody

This should go without saying, but some people need to here it: If you want to be with somebody, you have to be somebody they want to be with too. Work hard, support yourself and your future family, find hobbies, develop a group of friends you enjoy hanging out with. Sitting in a miserable basement all day, living with your parents past 30, and working a dead-end job that doesn't pay your bills is unattractive to someone who wants to build a life and family. Ask yourself if you would date yourself--if the answer is no, then you need to make some improvements. Find your passion in life and poor yourself into and people will naturally be attracted to the way you talk about it (I actually had a guy tell me he liked me because he loved how excited I sounded about buying a new sewing machine) because passion in life, for people, your job, and the things you waste your precious time on is attractive. I know I'd rather be with someone who gets excited about a double rainbow all the way across the sky than someone who wins $8,000 at a casino without showing any emotion

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Be Open-Minded

When you're open-minded, you're more willing to try new things, meet new people, and have fun doing it. Close-minded and rigid people struggle in relationships and push people away. When you experience new things and travel to new places, you meet new people you never would've met before. Open-mindedness about new experiences transfers over to open-mindedness with new people. Allowing yourself to learn someone's personality even their look doesn't initially grab you may gain you the best relationship you never expected. People bond over trying new things, so being open-minded early in a relationship helps it blossom

Improving Attractiveness To The Opposite Sex

Realistic Expectations

Despite efforts, improving your look, improving your life, and being someone worth being in a relationship with, you can't force attraction on someone. Be realistic in your expectations and walk away from someone who expresses disinterest in you. Needy, clingy, and desperate behavior when someone rejects you only decreases your attractiveness. Wait for someone who loves you for you, thinks you're attractive without makeup, and doesn't even think about anybody else.Take risks, live life, make mistakes, learn from them, pick yourself back up when someone knocks you down, be the best person you can be, and the best person you can get enter your life



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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with a lot of this. I believe I have a good personality (which I know is subjective) but I know that I'm not considered naturally good looking

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    • Haha, yes personality is subjective, but everyone knows if they're a good person or not. As long as you treat a girl right, you have a good personality

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    • LOL how naïve can you be?

    • @Asad1ONE1

      na·ive
      nīˈēv
      adjective
      (of a person or action) showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment.
      "the rather naive young man had been totally misled"

      No, that would be you. I learn from my experiences and the others around me. I find wisdom in reading studies and learning new information. It's clear I know a lot more about the science of attraction than you, so you're only insulting yourself by calling me naive

Most Helpful Girl

  • You 've pretty much covered all the basics here! Of course not everyone likes the same things in the opposite sex, but it's good to have a guide to give you some ideas as to what you could do differently.

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    • I feel the same way. To be honest im following this take so i do t forget to look back on it, haha.

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    • Sorry about some of the words voice command error

    • thanks for mhg!

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What Guys Said 30

  • Ah, the units. Those god damn units. Retarded, everywhere. You are from USA, right? Polls suggest, that there are more non-US people here. So why, for the love of god, why you don’t use a worldwide standard? That’s by far the biggest problem, what I have with this.
    Tall men. I have 203,5 cm. So…I’m tall. As everyone likes to point out. But…my dating experience is absolute disaster.
    I just want to say one thing to „Science says couples with a man 1-2" taller than the women have the longest relationship potential anyway, so aim for similar height if you want to focus on height.“. I’m not buying. It’s like zodiac signs.
    I don’t like large buttocks and thighs. More, I dislike them. I am all for thin. Oh, long hairs? I’m sold to that. :-D
    I’m poor (currently, before I find new job) and breast size for me is somewhere in the middle.
    Botox. Developed by nature to neutralize predators. People…just put it to their faces. Stupidity of dangerous levels. :-D
    I prefer to have no facial hairs at all. To me, I look younger, which is what I want.
    Ah, the mental side of things. OK, I suffer from depression. It’s being treated, of course. I’m Asperger, have OCD (to at least some degree), as you might have noticed from my comments. I strongly dislike any drugs, legal or not. I’m not risk-taking person, I’m loyal, stalking…nope. Just…nope. Because, if you want to stalk, you might not like the answers you’ll find. I’ve learned my lesson. So, I guess…I score well here. For some reason.
    Oh, god. The „:-“ string in that pic, that’s just horrible. God! What monster created that?
    So, later on, you basically describe SJWs’. And…you know what? Yeah, you are absolutely correct.
    So…wait a minute. If I am supposed to walk away from people, who express disinterest in me, then…I’m afraid I would be alone even online. :-D Maybe I don’t read their signals correctly, sure.
    No, I would like to avoid mistakes, thank you. :-)
    I am somebody, but…I don’t think, that people like who I am. :-D So…that’s a dilemma. Not being myself and having a chance of company or being myself and likely alone. :-D
    Good article though.

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    • LOL Yeah I'm from the USA, so I use feet and inches. My ex was Eastern and he said he was 195 in your measurements. Our height difference was difficult and I'd prefer a shorter man next time so I can kiss him on the cheek if I want to while standing next to each other. Tall is a bonus, not an end-all/be-all

      As long as you're treating your mental issues, then you're fine--it's the people who don't treat their mental issues who have problems in relationships

      Walk away from women who explicitly tell you they're not interested in you or "No." Most people are bad at distinguishing flirty behavior, men even moreso than women; with you having Asperger's, I'd say your biggest problem is not understanding when women are or aren't interested in you

      Don't change yourself to a point where you feel fake or are uncomfortable, but improving yourself to someone other people like better is good

      Thank you for the detailed reply

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    • It’s hard to find the like. For example…just above. My hate towards ‘murican units. And other things. It seriously bothers me. I see it everywhere, what do I do? I don’t want to see it in the world, it’s irrational.
      Detailed replies are what I do.

    • Well children who grow up in America grow up in a strange place compared to the rest of the world yet we think everyone else lives like us until someone comes along and tells us they don't. It is a tried and true American belief to be unapologetic in our difficulties, but we wouldn't be a country without them. We learned both US and metric systems in school

      Hmmm... maybe you need to find another tall girl to solve that problem

      But that's not something you can say for sure. Oftentimes people with Asperger's don't know when people are interested in them, so you may have and just not known it

      Life is much easier when you learn to ignore things that irritate you. www.amazon.com/.../0062457713 Here's a really good book about how to do that. https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck and his website. He gives a lot of good dating advice as well

  • You can't teach these things. It comes with age and experience. I personally love all women they come from all shapes and sizes and colors. I think this topic is reflecting the social norms of what we should expect of our selves when in all if we were all that trim I would be awsome. In a perfect world maybe but not this one.

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    • You can teach anything if people are willing to learn. There's a lot of people on this site who aren't willing to learn, but a portion of people come here because they don't know where to start and are open to suggestions

      Social norms are a different subject that I may address in a future MyTake. This one focuses mainly on biological preferences and how understanding them can give you a basis to cater your physical appearance to attract the opposite sex

      No this world isn't perfect, but we all have the ability to be better in our imperfect world

  • What about taking the time, to look into one another's eyes deep enough to see each other's heart and like what you see.

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    • Personally that is what makes me fall for a guy, but you have to attract one another first if you want to get to that point. There are a lot of people who don't make it to this step because they don't put their best foot forward when it comes to first impressions

      I once had a guy tell me to look deep into his eyes. It was very awkward and he came off as a complete creep. This stage needs to be eased into if you want the girl to feel comfortable

      And a lot of people are uncomfortable when it comes to making eye contact with strangers or with people they're attracted to

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    • yeah,, I wrote the eye contact line, because I think guys have a harder time staying focused on their partners and her feelings,, not to do a stare down,, haha

    • That I can agree with. Eye contact has been proven to improve intimacy and trust in a relationship, so I think it's something all couples should practice

  • TLDR. But yeah, for the guys, hit the gym hard and make LOTS of money. That usually covers it. :)

    For girls, just be pretty and smile.

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    • That's a pretty simplified version, but that's the gist of it. However an attractive guy who works out and makes a ton of money and pretty girl who smiles a lot can still fail at relationships if they have bad personalities. But yeah, that will help the initial attraction process

    • Yes, all those hot pole dancers are with Peter String fellow because he really works out and looks good for his age, no, I was wrong, he looks hideous, rich, but hideous, Sir Tony Robinson, can you believe they gave "Baldric" the a knighthood?, he's banging a much younger woman, is he in shape? Did you see him getting beaten up by a girl on "The Worst Jobs In History"?, not exactly Jean Claud Van Dam, more like Jean Claud Van Don't.

    • Yes, the readers-digest version. That's my M-O. Still didn't read it all, it's too much drivel.
      Which all gets back to the basic difference between men and women, doesn't it? :)
      I'm impressed that you were able to regurgitate all that and throw it out there though. ;)

  • I found this take really interesting, good illustrations / pictures, thought provoking ideas. I really enjoyed reading.

    It also reminds me just how much bs you eliminate from your life by not giving a crap about dating and / or relationships. A lot of women find me attractive, but if they don't, I don't care because I'm not looking either way...

    I am healthy , look many years younger than my age, train several times a week, am muscular, have hobbies, and a zest for life but I think dating is a huge waste of time, energy, and life. Good luck to anyone still doing it bwhahaha.

    No wonder so many people are unhappy and stressed hahaha.

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    • Thank you for the positive feedback

      Dating is a waste of time if you don't intend to marry or have children. People who aren't serious or only want to fool around or use people experience much more pain and stress in dating than is necessary. But dating is worth it if you intend to have a committed long-term relationship and want children. Studies have shown marriage is good for mental health, especially married men (who live an average of 10 years longer than their non-married counterparts)

      But happiness is a state of mind. People who choose to be happy are going to be happy in relationships and single; those who choose to be unhappy are going to be unhappy in relationships and single

    • Good points. It's possible that a larger majority of people out there dating are not doing so with the intention of long term commitment or marriage. I know, and have known so many guys that only date to get sex. I think there is a subconscious dishonesty with intentions when it comes to dating for men and women. Or maybe it's just that overall, men secure relationships more to secure sex, and women secure sex, more to secure relationships.

      Concerning your statement about what studies show about marriage and longevity and increased health, you need to bear in mind the inherent bias. Marriage is considered more beneficial for overall society, government, and brings in more money and security for businesses. Even if a study showed the opposite, it wouldn't be published or worded clearly. See here www.belladepaulo.com/.../

      I agree with your last statement about happiness.

  • If women aren't visual then why do women still care about height? Or is it for the false sense of security?

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    • women are just as visual as men.

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    • @fueledbythc No I said they're the same like you! You said the same thing earlier. Now you're saying women are more visual lol.

    • @Asad1ONE1 @fueledbythc

      This article explains in scientific terms that women aren't visual
      www.linkedin.com/.../women-visual-sex-dr-maureen-whelihan

      When specifically speaking in physical attraction (what most of this article focuses on) and when it comes to initial impressions, we are talking about visuals. Women have eyes and we can see if a guy is attractive or not, but women are not visual when it comes to sexual arousal

      Height and muscles have nothing to do with looks. As I clearly explained in MyTake, height and muscles give a woman the feeling of being protected. As men who are visual, it's understandable you would have a hard time understanding this, but your misunderstanding doesn't make it false

      I cannot include all individual preferences. This is a basis of male-female attraction

      Women care about looks for hookups, but not for long-term relationships; men care about looks for long-term relationships, but not for hookups. I explained this in MyTake

  • Very good mytake, makes sense. What a long read though 😊But I liked reading it

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    • Haha thanks. I tend to write a lot all at once when I do have internet access to write these. I like to fully explain concepts and prevent trolls from claiming I left something out

    • Ill say 😊

  • But what if you are all of that and still get no interested partner?

    Oh right, I remember. As @OlderAndWiser told me - Dating is gambling. So I guess I just didn't manage to pull something out of the "lottery". Maybe the "lottery" doesn't even have a prize.
    In this case I say "lottery" as in getting the relationship material out of the bunch of non-relationship materials, not an actual lottery, haha.

    Hmmm... Celibacy! The basis of life.

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    • It's incredibly unlikely that you would go through your entire life with having nobody interested in you. It's much more likely that you would have someone interested in you and have you reject them because you're not interested back

      Your grumbling, whiny mentality is the most unattractive quality you have. At 22, you have plenty of time to improve your mentality if you truly want to find a relationship. Getting off the computer and doing new things in real life will improve your options of meeting someone in real life

      I agree that dating is a gamble and some people never win, even good people. That's unfortunate for them, but they have to find other things in life to be satisfied with. But if you're desperate for a relationship and have a hard time finding someone, then it's probably time to lower your expectations and give someone a chance that you normally wouldn't go out with

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    • @razor97

      You have been rude, argumentative, and insulting since you first answered one of MyTakes. Your first post was an incorrect insult of accusing me of leaving information out that I not only didn't leave out, but addressed as well. Your initial misappropriation of MyTake immediately showed your true and bitter colors. You did not approach me in a respectful or congenial manner. The fact that you're admitting to being an asshole towards me after I called you out on your bitterness proves that you're bitter because it wouldn't have derived such a reaction if you weren't. You're not defending yourself at all because this entire debacle is a an offensive assault entirely from you--I've never commented on any of your posts or tagged your username on someone else's

      I can talk about whatever subject I want. This weekend I hung out with one of my good female friends and went to a Brazilian steakhouse with a male coworker. LOL you don't have any friends if they don't care about you

    • @razor97

      You started this when you insulted me the first time and you're continuing this by being an extremely bitter, insolent, little pest. If you don't want people to see you as a little boy, then start acting mature. People ask me how old I am all the time because I'm much more mature than other people my age and look a lot younger than I am. If I were to give you an age based on your maturity, I'd have to put you at around 11-12 years old

      Again I'm not arrogant and I'm not wining. I'm not annoying because I'm not the one going around harassing people. Neither am I brainless as I often study new things and try to learn something new everyday. Nor am I female dog or otter. I've been diagnosed as not being delusional, And I'm absolutely not a whore because I'm a virgin and prefer to remain that way until I meet the perfect love of my life and he marries me off

  • You are making the error in assuming we are still affected by our "caveman" genes.
    This is absolutely not the case anymore.

    It is actually better for women to have less fat and thinner waist for example.
    You can't apply assumptions from when the way our life was completely different.

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    • We dont live like cavemen/women but that viewpoint still governs our instincts. Humans however can override their instincts and hense, for the most part, we have different reactions and values than our ancestral counterparts.

      But bacl to the matter at hand...

      She generalizing because you can't take into account every single individual case. Also she mentioned cave-people's attractions and reasonings, and then juxtaposed that with how things are now to explain tje subconscious thought behind what men and women find sexy. For instance how women value being protected and provided for. That used to rely more on strength and now intelligence is just as sexy to some women as muscles. Because now, more so than back then, intelligence plays a big part in providing for your lady.

      That being said im curious to know why you think a skinner woman is better than a chubbier one? Are we talking personal preference or are you saying birthing babies is better if she's skinnier?

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    • Look at this chart. (or any other chart for that matter)
      It's not my "cruel standards" that claim these things, it's the findings of doctors of medicine whose groundbreaking formulas we have been using for the past half century.

      But hey, if you are just going to trust a non peer-reviewed paper that itself claims it can't explain anything to support their own findings or a study you misinterpret for your own good, then go ahead.

      www.builtlean.com/.../...Fat-Percentage-Chart3.jpg

    • www.google.com/search

      The first thing that pops up is a much different chart than yours specifies. Healthy men and women have more fat than your unhealthy standards

      www.gaiam.com/.../how-to-calculate-your-ideal-body-fat-percentage

      Another one that breaks down healthy vs unhealthy body fat % that varies greatly from yours

      I'm not unhealthy at all. I'm extremely healthy, workout fairly regularly, and eat very well because I cook most of my meals and home and control my portions

      "Women with a BMI of between 14 and 18 had only a 34 percent chance of delivering a healthy baby"

      www.livestrong.com/.../

      So yes women with your crazy "ideal" 18% body fat are unhealthy and at risk of delivering unhealthy babies

      I in no way condone obesity or birth control. I condone real health, not pseudo-health

  • I need a lot of money and a bigger penis to be more attractive to women.

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    • You need a new mentality and personality to be attractive to women

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    • You already have the personality that you speak about--it's called having a huge ego. And no most women don't hunt down guys with a ton of money are large penises. Most women marry men of average income and average size. Many women even dislike large penises because they make sex uncomfortable for them

    • I got both and I'm also athletic. But I was born an INTJ and had ugly extroverts kick my ass in the dating world when I was younger.

      For while I would get pissed off and frustrated at women for passing me up for some average looking douche bag who has nothing going for him other than he is "funny". But I realized my problem was that I was judging women by thinking they think the same way I do, but they don't. I don't like how they think , but they just don't. I have to accept that and so do you.

      I then realized women not only enjoy humor but they like CHALLENGE. They want a confident guy to approach them but they also want to chase him afterwards.

      So I started getting numbers, but I would hold back a few days afterwards to contact them. It is absolutely incredible the difference I could hear in women's tone of voice if she has been expecting me to call for a few days (worried I forgot about her) vs. just another typical dude who calls her the next day. Google corey wayne.

  • No offense but I easily disagree with this lol!!! I thought you were too smart to know that everyone has different preferences.

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    • Are you a god?

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    • Your links are inaccurate. We're using the same studies. I'm using the original conclusion and you're using someone misconstrued version of it. The reason why your links are more recent is they are nt a part f the original study. When using the same study, it is more reliable to use an original article fully explaining the correct results, not some recent one that came to its conclusion like a bad game of "Telephone"

      You are wrong. It is a fact that men are much much more visual than women. Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself at this point

    • Oh well either way who the f**k cares anymore lol. Life is short anyway and much more important and BIGGER things to worry about than this sh*t.

  • What if I don't want children? I wonder what is the percentage of women who would be ok with that.

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  • The next time I see the following:
    "Just be yourself. If they don't like you, it's their loss."

    I'm showing them this. Thanks.

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  • I've asked girls out before, but they all ended up like the hindenburg. I almost believe dating is hopeless for me. It's insanity "Insanity is the act of doing something over and over again and expecting different results."

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    • 17 is too young to worry about dating and relationships. You need to focus on school and figuring out who you want to be in life first. Asking out random girls is risking the Hindenburg because you won't know if she likes you. Try building attraction and respect between you and a girl before asking her out

    • Thank you for the advice.

    • You're welcome

      And that's only Einstein's comical take on insanity. My mother is clinically insane and living proof that Einstein was completely wrong when it comes to psychology. Insanity is unpredictable, illogical, and rooted outside of reality

      Yes asking the same girl out over and over again may be insane, but not if you ask out different girls. If you're persistent, diligent, and improve yourself, asking out girls will eventually pay off. Dating is a numbers game, so you have to keep asking out girls until one of them says yes. Rejection gets easier the more you go through it, so try not to take rejection from one girl so harshly. If a girl rejects you, at least she spared you from an unfulfilling relationship or one where you'd end up being taken advantage of in

  • A girl asked me if she wore too much make-up... I replied, "Not if you want to kill Batman". Just sayin.

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  • I really liked this as its about statistics and not personal preference. Great.

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  • I think that this is very true especially about the females part.

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  • Lol@ the discussion centering around attraction in Hollywood or wherever "these days"... where the hell have you been for the last seventy years, OP?

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    • And the "US 2010" girl in the pic above is fat. Hope she's not seen as "ideal," 'cause she isn't to me for sure.

    • When Hollywood first opened up, it focused more on talent than looks. Physical appearance has become much more obsessed over in the last 10-15 years with HD cameras, smart phones, and image-based social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat

      I think the US 2010 girl represents the average American. Since Playboy is American, I'd assume the Playmate is closest to the ideal image of what men prefer in a woman

  • What do you do if you don't have the height? It's pretty-much impossible to change at the current moment.

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    • Accept it, don't be insecure about it, and go after short girls because we need love too

      There's a guy who works in the next department over from mine who's conventionally attractive and works out. I only realized today that he's only a couple of inches taller than me (I'm 5', he's probably 5'3"). He seems to have a good personality and the people he works with get along well with him. Some tall girls might not like him, but he's quite a catch

      Another guy I work with who's 5'4" has a taller girlfriend

      One of my good friends is only 5'3", obese, and ugly, but he's never had a problem getting girls because he treats women very well, is a great person, intelligent, and has a decent job (he makes really good money, but doesn't flaunt it like a douchebag). His roommate is the same height and has a hot, taller girlfriend

      Height is an advantage; being short isn't a death sentence. A short guy with a good personality is more attractive than a tall guy with a bad one

    • Wark Davis and Vern Troyes are small, I bet checks are all over them, because they're minted. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec got plenty of rump, "Tripod", that's what they used to call him, abnormally short legs, abnormally large, erm, middle stump, not that they play much cricket in France.

    • @Bezbozhnikustanka
      LOL I don't know who those guys are, but some famous short guys are Kevin Heart and the dwarf who played Tyrion in Game Of Thrones

  • Thank you

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  • Aren't you a bit unstable?

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    • Not at all. I'm an extremely stable person. I can hold down a job, pay all my bills on time and financially support myself, have a reasonable sized friend group, can communicate properly with people, and put responsibilities before play

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    • i didn't say that i am going to start any war, i am not forcing my beliefs on others. that's your faulty logic. if i would want to change their beliefs i would try to make them my friends and convince them, or become a very smart leader... but this is not what i want, what i want is pace and anyone who wants to violate my intimacy and personal life should suffer
      i didn't said that women don't pay attention to me, i said that colleges hate me because i'm ugly and i can't get laid because of this, but i don't care what other people think, they are the problem after all this is the reason i avoid them. and i'm a lot happier alone, which means that i don't need them at all. you proved me and other people how degenerate you are. you are unable to think. tests aren't even 70% accurate, your arrogance is showing, you even claimed to be smart. you're not smart, even your username is a contradiction, fuck off

    • @razor97

      You said you wanted to wage a war get peace from it. You;re trying to force your beliefs on me--you've even admitted it. You aren't capable of making friends, so that plan wouldn't work for you even if you tried. You don't become a leader by forcing yourself onto people--you become a leader when people choose to follow you of their own free will

      I haven't violated anything related to you yet you've been harassing me for over a month now--that absolutely fails your imbecilic claims. You've said women don't pay any attention to you since the start. Colleges don't like you because you're uneducated and can't write in complete sentences or with proper grammar. Again I don't approve of casual sex, so you're not getting any sympathy from me for not getting laid--go use your hand for something other than harassing people online and complaining about your life

      I'm much more intelligent than you'll ever be. My username is no contradiction as I had no username when I signed up

  • Thanks

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  • I needed this

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  • Thanks for sharing, that was quite comprehensive!

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  • All of above

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  • Some things can be changed.

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  • fıne

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  • Definitely good points here... However, I am at the age now where I just don't care. If you don't like me as I am, then fine... keep walking...

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    • That tends to happen around 30. It's pretty normal, but people like that often learn to accept being single as well

    • Says the 22 year old. So much experience. hahah

    • @CactusJuice
      One of my last points was about keeping an open mind. One of the best ways to keep your mind open is to pay attention and learn from other people's lives and mistakes. I don't live life acting like people 30+ are nonexistent. I actually have more friends older than me than around my age because people my age tend to be extremely immature and I prefer to surround myself with mature, intelligent, and serious people

  • The correct answer is: Don't be fat and you'll be attractive.

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    • Losing weight will help you become more attractive, but that won't help your personality

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    • I'm not shallow but society is. I find other fat women attractive because I have an open mind.

    • As a whole society is shallow but individually people are usually quite deep. If there is no emotional connection there is no future and most people know that.

  • This is honestly why i choose to rather not look for a girlfriend or a relationship. There's too many things you have to have in order to get anywhere in the dating field and it seems very tiresome after a while to keep pursuing and pursuing. I've never had a girlfriend and i'm 24 years old now and at first i was depressed because i didn't have a girlfriend and i thought i wasn't good enough for one either. And i read the comment you posted about lowering expectations even when you've tried your hardest and give it all you got, still nothing. I am being strong and i'm going to devote my life to celibacy and focus on other things because love and girlfriends are not the most important thing in life and i don't want to dwell on the fact that i've never had a girlfriend. And even if i did love myself, there's no guarantee someone will see me as someone worth dating. It's going to be difficult but i know i can do it and being celibate probably wouldn't be a bad thing for me since i know that not everyone is meant ti be someone worth dating. And all these improvement you have to make just to be considered attractive by someone doesn't seem to grasp well with me either. Besides love can be a pain in the ass sometimes just by seeing what people go through being in one. Celibate life here i come.

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    • Being someone worth dating isn't as difficult as guys on this site make it sound. Really all you have to do is be a nice, interesting, fun person to be around, treat someone right, and be stable. The main reason guys on this site are single is because they never ask a girl out or even try. If you're sitting around on your computer all day waiting for a girl to appear out of thin air, you're going to be disappointed. If you want something, you have to work for it. With that attitude you have, you'd end up broken up or divorced pretty quickly because you're basically saying you wouldn't put any effort into a relationship

      I never had a boyfriend until I was 21, so 24 isn't that bad. You're complaining about something you have complete control over. If you don't want to be in a relationship, then admit it, but don't blame anybody but yourself

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    • Do i have to improve by getting abs and having a killer bod? I shouldn't be approaching right now if im9not in good shape.

    • I speak from scientific facts. I cannot include all individual preferences nor did I base MyTake on individual preferences. I based it on basic biological principles of attraction

      Don't ever expect to be approached by women. Men take more risks due to having higher testosterone. Women fear rejection more than men and are not likely to ask you out. It doesn't matter what you look like, you will probably be alone for the rest of your life if you never ask women out. Guys complain all the time about less attractive guys getting girls, but the main factor there is that these less attractive guys have better personalities and put themselves out there

      Part of women not being visual means women aren't going to chase you down just for the way you look. You have to engage with women and prove to them why you would be a catch if you want them to take notice in you

What Girls Said 13

  • lol thats creepily elaborate. didn't even bother to read it all. its sad society has to be so superficial. attractive is subjective. men dont have to be jakced and waste a fortune and their whole live in a gym to look like bodybuilders, nor do women need to look like playmates or anorexic vs models.

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    • "trashy brands equal a trashy partner". lol. yeah right brands define your value. i prefer to date a sepherd or a hippie that wears rags instead of a person that believes his value is derived from his clothing.

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    • ah thats what you meant with trashy. yeah i get what you mean. appearence matters. but those who blame their appearence find ceap excuses for other deeper issues.

    • Yeah "trashy brands" refers to stuff like Juicy, Pink, Hollister, and crop tops, booty shorts, and other over-sexualized clothing that prevents men from seeing you as more than a booty call. I don't mean to trash affordable brands with that comment as many affordable brands are very respectable and even produce nice clothing (I personally shop at thrift stores and Wal Mart most of the time and make my own clothing when I want something that looks expensive)

      I agree with that and that's something else I've written about and plan to write about more in the future. I've actually had a lot of trolls attack me for telling them looks aren't an excuse for someone to be single because the majority of people are average and neither attractive nor unattractive

  • In my opinion, women are just as visual as men but many women seek better life and that comes with money and who usually has enough money? Business men and those usually aren't into fitness and all this stuff.

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    • Ya I'll say wome are visual, but just not as much as guys are.

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    • Well, I guess I'm not a real woman then. I'm not stupid to believe their words.

    • You are either a victim of a myth or dislike men for mentioning this lol

  • Wow so much to read :o I will come back and finish. It is good from what I read :)

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    • Haha thank you. I tend to write a lot on MyTakes to fully explain concepts and prevent trolls from claiming I left something out. I don't expect most people to read the whole thing and I'm happy as long as the part they do read is helpful

  • I know I'm beautiful. With and without makeup.

    But it doesn't stop me from wearing a full face. The only reason I do this is because I love it. I don't even get offended if above says I look better with makeup cause to me it only means that my makeup should are da bomb. v_v

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  • Wow! Clap clap :)

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  • Wow. Very thorough!!!

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  • Great take 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

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  • Dating is tedious at times.

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  • Just crazy

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  • Totally agree with this take!

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  • well done

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  • This is an interesting Take :)

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  • Good general tips

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