Men being polite towards women and women's overreaction to it

[loveisbeautiful]

I know people think chivalry is dead or that it's just in this day and age that woman have gotten offended by men kindly holding the door for them, but it's not. Even back in the day, women were getting up in arms about men holding doors open for them. It happened to my dad, before he met my mom (so like in the 60's or 70's). I've told this story a few times on here. Basically, my dad held the door open for a woman and she told him "I don't need no man to hold the door open for me". My dad's response was "fine" and he let the door close and she ended up walking into it lol. I find that to be funny, she kind of had that coming. So, women have always taken a man's kindness as something other than what it is.

The reason I'm writing this is because, I went to the library today to drop off some magazines my mom had gotten and when I was coming out there were these two guys. I told them "you can go first" and the one guy said "ladies first" I said "okay, thanks" and walked through the door and that was that. But, that got me thinking about how some women get offended by that kind of thing and I don't get it. Why does everything have to be feminist thing? Why do women have to think men do it with the "me Tarzan! You Jane!" mentality? Ever stop to think that maybe he's just a guy with really good manners and is always that polite to everyone, woman or not? Because, that's what holding the door for someone is, being polite. It's just a courtesy thing to do and more people should do it, more people should learn the art of being polite.

See, chivalry isn't actually dead, we're just killing it off like an endangered species. Women need to understand this, how many times do you think a guy is going to have his kindness thrown back in his face before he just decides to stop being kind altogether? Because, when you get your panties in a bunch about a guy kindly holding the door open for you, that's basically what you're doing. Throwing his kindness in his face and making him feel bad for not being raised by baboons and actually having manners and trying to be polite. That's why a lot of guys maybe are bitter or don't do things like that, because they don't want to get yelled at for trying to be polite and you can't tell which women will appreciate it and which women will go all stark ravening banshee on you. So, they just don't bother. Would you?

This world would be a better place if were kinder to each other, but no one wants to be kind when is gets thrown back in their faces. So, we need to try and work on that.

Ladies the next time a guy holds a door open for you or something along those lines, don't be mean about it. Even if you're an independent woman and want everyone to know how capable you are of taking care of yourself. Even if your a feminist and Rosie the riveter is your role model and "anything a man can do, I can do better" is your favorite song, just be polite and say "thank you" and be on your merry way. But, don't make some big statement about how "you don't need a man to do that for you". Because, all you're really doing is making yourself look like and ass and him feel like crap for being kind. What's the point in that?

So, when someone shows you a kindness by holding the door for you or something. Show them a kindness back, by saying "thanks" and let them know their thoughtfulness is appreciated.

Thanks : )

[Anonymous]

Very nice take. Thanks for posting it. I agree with everything you wrote here. Chivalry is indeed dead, or mostly so, and despite all the denial about it among women, it was women themselves who killed it.

It is certainly true that some women get offended when I man holds a door for them, somehow misinterpreting it as an act of "patriarchy" or a reflection of his belief that women are inferior or less capable. That has happened to pretty much every man at least a few times, and it makes us want to never do it again.

But the problem goes deeper than that. Chivalry was a way in which men showed they cared about, valued women and appreciated women. But "appreciating women" has been shoved down our throats for the last 50 years now, and at the same time women have generally shown virtually no appreciation for men. On the contrary, feminism has done everything in its power to convince the world men are not necessary, let alone appreciated.

All of that has left men more than a little sore at women. We are more inclined to tell you all to go fuck yourselves, as you have done to us for a long time now, than to show appreciation for you.

If women want to be truly appreciated by men, they need to start showing some appreciation for men too. It has to be a two way street.

[ThisGuy42]

Amen.

[SirenDep]

Nicely stated! I'd definitely choose a chivalrous and polite man over a cussing and farting man

[kheserthorpe]

While I hold doors for a variety of people improbably do it more for women.

It's downplaying things to suggest that it's just being nice because it is in fact more then that. It is targeted at women. And it does come from thinking women are inferior. Specifically... Less physically strong.

Without even being aware of it you will notice men don't leap to open closet doors, or interior office doors etc. It's mainly outside does of buildings. Doors that might be heavy in other words. Some of them are quite heavy. That's the reason men held them for women - because they were stronger.

women haven't complained 'forever'. But some have complained since the 70s and maybe the late 60s though I'm not sure on that one. And some indicated in this takes comments they dislike it.

I think I was raised seeing it done, and then didn't do it as a young man. I wasn't told to exactly. It was more something I saw -men- did.

And now I do it. And I've actually never gotten a complaint. But my height may help. Not many women are -offended- by the implied suggestion that I might be more able to move objects around than them.

[WhaChaChaKing]

If the guy said "ladies first" that means he's allowing you to go first because you're a women not just because he's a nice guy. I don't bitch about people holding the door for me because I don't know what they're thinking, they could just be nice and I think that's how everyone should be. I hold the door open for people all the time and many women have done the same for me. If a guy holds the door open for me just because I'm a girl then it does annoy me because that IS sexist. Whether it's positive or not that doesn't mean it isn't what it is. I wouldn't say anything because I don't relish the idea of arguing with strangers but I would still feel insulted.

[AleDeEurope]

I try to be kind to everyone, not just women. Thankfully I've never encountered any woman that complained about it. I do it because it's polite, not because I think she can't. I've had the door being hold for me by women, and I didn't feel less of a man, and women shouldn't feel disrespected by it either.
We shouldn't say no to kindness; we're gonna have a problem if we do.

[AleDeEurope]

Oh, I forgot to say: good Take ;)

[loveisbeautiful]

Thanks.

[YourFutureEx]

What a marvellous take!
Humanity still exists because of girls like you.
Because of sick mentality of some women we are either considered as pervert or selfish. But they can't influence my etiquette. I'm kind not because I want to impress them, I'm kind because it is good and I'm taught to do so by my ingenious elders. I don't think feminists would be disagree with this, I guess only ill-mannered people will hate this take.

I'm interested in reading the replies of downvoters.

[ThisGuy42]

Yeah I was raised chivalrous. And I hold the door for everybody. Let girls go first. Help people who dropped there stuff while everybody else just laughs. But sometimes I don't get any thanks or signs of appreciation. And every now and then they get completely pissed at me for being nice.

[DaremeToo]

LOL hahaha Yes I agree with most of what you said. Showing courtesy & kindness works both ways. Try holding a door for a guy & see some of the reactions you will get?

[loveisbeautiful]

I have, I hold the door open for everyone.

[douride2]

LMAO hahahaha Looks like a few guys took offence to your comment?

[WhaChaChaKing]

Most guys are okay with it but a few acted like little bitches and grabbed the door away from me. I was just like "fine, bitch" and walked off.

[DaremeToo]

@WhaChaChaKing Looks like we butthurt a few guys with our opinion you & me both. LMAO hahahahaaha

[WhaChaChaKing]

We did! Hahaha nice. Glad we could do our part.

[shrubbunny]

I'm pretty damn feminist but I don't get my panties in a bunch over someone extending common courtesy to me. I know that our cultural expectation is that men hold doors open for women and that is really not the hill I am going to die on. Sorry. Going to have to blame random rudeness from the occasional man on someone other than me.

[Dragan]

Being a gentleman is perhaps old-fashioned but it is only proper behavior with the ladies. Take care of the lady in public and private. and do not neglect yourself, is a good behavior.

[Jersey1]

I decided to hold the door as most women appreciate it. The ones that dont, mwell, I get to piss them off so there is that, lol.

[Anonymous]

Great article.

And yet, not a single female response. How typical of today's women.

[loveisbeautiful]

Thanks and I was thinking kind of the samething. I was thinking more along the lines of "I'm surprised more people didn't read this or respond".

[Entrieton]

If any girl objects I'm just going to let the door slam in her face, she asked for it.

[phanindra554]

Wow... this was a great post I have ever seen here.

[loveisbeautiful]

thanks.

[phanindra554]

NP
It was really huge

[jwhit]

I hold the door for everyone.

[lkjhg69cum]

Exactly! Thank you!