Men: Stop Being "Nice" to Women

[Anonymous]

Firstly and sadly, it's necessary to clear up the obvious. I'm not telling you not to be nice, I'm telling you not be "nice". The key is the quotation marks.

Do you feel the need to compliment women in a desperate attempt to get them to like you? If so, your compliments aren't genuine, you're not saying them because you really mean them. You're not nice, you're just a pathetic "nice guy". She's not going to have sex with you because you called her 'beautiful', forget about it.

SO many times I've seen "nice guys" act nice to a girl, stupidly hope that will make her like him, then get rejected and then suddenly their true self is revealed and they begin to rage at the girl. From one man to another, this behavior is disgusting and makes you look like a selfish little child.

The key here is guys, you can compliment a woman if it's reasonable. And by that I mean, it's genuine and you don't expect anything in return. Don't shower her with niceness, have some self respect and treat her like a normal person. Be upfront and honest with your actions. And never, ever, become mean or aggressive after getting rejected. That kind of behavior is never the mark of a true man.

[BrittBratt2416]

Wow the saltiness with these guys are strong, as soon they get rejected that's when the insults come and you suddenly become a slut, fat, etc. But just 5 minutes ago you thought she was fine hell so why the front now? How does a woman become a slut for declining a date/sex with you mean she's a slut? I never understood this logic. And yet "nice guys" complain about women ignoring them and going to jerks. The difference between assholes and a "nice guy", is that the asshole is confident enough to be his real self while other asshole cloaks it behind "being nice". You're not nice, you're that same jerk but think being nice is somehow going to give you brownie points and score you some free sex, your intentions are still the same and deceptive. You are wolf in sheep's clothing if you think being nice should entitle you to get a woman to date you. That's why you see these women going to theses guys, his confidence is soon blinding that she can't see his terrible personality. If you had the same thing plus being *genuinely* nice, those girls would say screw those guys and start noticing you. But with that said, I love REAL nice men, my boyfriend is a ball of sweet fluff but piss him off and spikes will appear. Think of Kirby, coot but you know you don't want eff around with that dude in a fight. So lack of confidence is the problem, not being a decent human being with manners.

[Unit1]

Exactly.
Those girls are doing just that 👇

https://i.imgur.com/BXeE4pM.gif

Good on them. really.

[myTake Owner]

So damn true. Thanks for the input, appreciate it.

[parttimelover]

what you fail to see is there is no nice guy. boys are boys. they destroy stuff, conquer lands and PenetratE. its all up to your preference. the guy who's banging you by pretending to be nice or the guy who's banging you by not being fake and pretending. we are all bad guys. otherwise he wouldn't be invading your womb trying to burden you for 9 months to 18 years

[BrittBratt2416]

@parttimelover most guys aren't even thinking about invading our wombs, they just want to get laid. But if you don't think there are nice men, that's you.. I on the hand think there are. Us women just have to wade through a lot bullshit to find them is all.

[Unit1]

Don't worry lady. We are not all so reckless and evil. I sure am not and i have the penis.

[Wi_Fi]

Ladies anytime a guy opens with " hey I'm a nice decent guy", run for the fucking hills.

Guys NEVER open "Hey I think you're beautiful and I'm really attracted to you... I'm also a really nice guy and you should pm me"... when you don't even know the girl especially via text. That comes off as creepy. Girl gets bombarded with those messages everyday and she isn't going to respond to you. All you gotta do is be normal and text her about NORMAL everyday stuff. So if she post a pic at the beach. Talk about the beach and not her body. She already knows she looks good , so going after her mind, is going to make you stand out, because 99.99% of the guys will be commenting on her looks.

Remember being 'nice' is a basic human requirement, so don't use that as a way to pick up women. It's the biggest red flag. Just be normal.

[Wi_Fi]

by the way good take.

[sawno]

That one can be tricky i noticed when the girl looks cute but she has no proper picture or a generic description. So ladies reading my response, if you are on an online dating platform please fill in something about your self so we can know if we are compatible with more then just a picture. It actually creates attraction when i read a girl has a similar interest or similar personality to me and a terrible description with a pretty face can be a turn off because she didn't put in any effort. Its annoying that soooo many people put stuff like "I don't know, message me and find out" which makes initiating a fun conversation so much more difficult.

[freakyzeaky]

You know how to avoid being a Nice Guy TM? Make your needs the priority and take responsibility for them. Put yourself first. Be more selfish. People might cooperate in helping you meet your needs, but they aren't in charge of meeting your needs.

If you truly believe your needs are important, there will be others that will be happy and willing to help you meet them.

Embrace your masculinity. Stop trying to seek approval from women. Ditch the toxic shame you are carrying around. There is nothing wrong with your desires and there is nothing wrong with you.

Women don't want perfection, they want the real you, at least the one's who are right for you. Stop trying to mold yourself into someone who is acceptable. Accept yourself. Set boundaries. To be the catch you have to ask yourself, "is she a catch?" and "is she compatible with me?"

Healthy people looked for healthy people. Be healthy.

Don't try to be a good lover. Don't focus too much on being "good" or it will get boring. She should be focused on her pleasure too and go for it! Good sex happens when both are invested in their own pleasure but are mindful and giving too. Don't settle for bad sex! Be clear and direct, be assertive, and expect the same from your partner.

Don't choose a fixer-upper to have a relationship with, or rather, choose a partner who has taken responsibility for their own life, but before that, take responsibility for your own.

[myTake Owner]

Very well said. Appreciate it.

[Daniel9963]

Nice myTake, I personally think that isn't being nice, that's just moving and searching for something you crave and wanna have but sadly that can't get without expending time, giving up on some of your wishes and desire and make them your partner wishes so you can try to really feel that person. Being nice means knowing when someone isn't interested, no matter the reason, and knowing that if that happens you won't get anything out of it but a hater. Accomplishments are great but to a point and remaining in the realistic part, no one is perfect but we do say they are cause for us that person is so I think we all should improve on how to treat a girl, because some of the examples used on the myTake shows that males are just stupid and that pisses a lot of not only girls but males that don't are like that.
So, please... Don't be stupid when talking to a girl, accomplish her but between limits and don't think you're perfect when no one is and know that if you're rejected, the only thing you can try is to at least remain as friends which some people don't want to and it's completely understandable.

[myTake Owner]

Well said, man. Appreciate the input. Thanks.

[windknowsmyname]

So take a stab at me, so why is it im genuinely nice and girls hate it while guys, im long time friends with til this day cause my actions. I dont want your meat flaps, i dont care about what your ex did, and dont want your number. I open the door, compliment her, talk to her, help her with other things in personal life cause i care. I dont want her kiss, her affection, nor a gift. If girls wants to be bitch cause your being a better friend than all her other then, fuck it. I hear im a creep, im this and im that. While never hear the fact that the girls thinking i like them. And i dont! I dont do it cause want something, not cause im a pish over, nor cause i am a fuck boy. I just am nice enough to hear your problems, help with bills if im free of money, and hang out just cause her birthday. And yes i treat guys the same way. When im on bus i give guys my seat, pay there bus fair, hear there problems, and they thank me one end of earth to another. While girls think im trying to get into there pants.

Fuck me right. This guy told me that girls are not used to real nice guys. That after i been nice to this one girl she wished i was around but she felt dumb pushing away while her boyfriend was being a jerk and insecure.
This only apply to those who think nice guys are just out for there own agenda. Im not! Im not lonely, desprate, clingy or needy. Just thats how i am. But damn then ask why is world full of assholes. Well cause reacted poorly to the guy who was nice didn't ask for nothing but to just be respectful.

[myTake Owner]

The moment you need to talk about yourself being nice is the moment I start to doubt you. Your whole comment smells of bitterness and frustration.

"I dont want your meat flaps, i dont care about what your ex did, and dont want your number"... Seriously... Is this how you talk to women? And you describe yourself as being 'genuinely nice'. Right...

"But damn then ask why is world full of assholes".. Right, yep.

You sound like a great person to be around.

[windknowsmyname]

I get that a lot. Girls treat genuine nice guys like crap ( not all the time) buuut we are bad ones for speaking out, we are bitter, we are the ones who bitch and complain. Tell me if im wrong, But are the ones who doing the disrespecting is talked about. Awwwe okay. So i should just make friends with people and ghost them later. According to what i see its not okay but its not a big deal. Cause clearly she was nice.

Why can't people ever see that well yeah the guy been through some stuff but also what the said person did was not right ( esp said girl). No? Just im not nice, expressing myself is dangerous and im bitter?
My personality is bold and down to earth. Typically say how i feel or think. I dont hold my tounge back from anyone. Honesty in brutal ways and i know all this would come back on me but hell, what do i got to loose?

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I dunno, dude - if you're getting called a creep by women, I think there's probably more to this story than you're letting on.

[Anonymous]

So what the fuck do you call someone that likes becoming friends first, and then seeing if you truly like them, then going for it? Not just sex wise, relationship wise. That's what I like, I keep it somewhat sexual and flirty, but we are friend's first usually. I've been rejected because of it, and it really fucking hurt. More than a random girl, because this is someone you genuinely call a friend. She never gave me a reason to not be with me, even tho I told her it would help me stop thinking about her.

I never called her a whore, or slut tho. I tried to be nice about it, but I had to make her mad enough to actually tell me the answer I needed to know, to move on. Now I look like the bad guy, even tho I don't hate her for her decision. Even tho it does kind of kill you inside when she says you were never an option, and she saw no potential. It's not even physical attraction either, I still didn't really get an exact reason. She just doesn't like me, whatever. She's in her own fucked up situation anyways, which I think is stupid, but it's her choice.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, I'd never treat any other girl badly because of me getting myself hurt. Nobody should do that to another person. I'll just make it worth that girls time since she actually showed she cared.

[sawno]

I feel for you, been trough the same thing where you really build a bond but fail to express your own desires so she thinks your just a friend and associates you that way. Next time i will be confident that she actually wants me to be flirty if i have interest in her so my intentions are clear. But along side that i will be myself rather then someone pretending to be perfect.

[Opinion Owner]

@sawno That's what I plan to do to, I gotta stop hiding my desires. Always be yourself man.

[Cryostatic]

"So what the fuck do you call someone that likes becoming friends first, and then seeing if you truly like them, then going for it?"

I call that fucking stupid. You can learn whether you really like someone while you're dating, without lying to them about your intentions and pretending that you want to be friends.

[sawno]

@Cryostatic The problem is that your first intent is becoming close friends and once that is achieved and you are compatible you want to move to the next stage and at that point she doesn't want to. Its a big issue for guys that want to be together with people they are close with first rather then approaching someone for the purpuse of dating.

[myTake Owner]

@sawno I've never understood you guys. I'd be interested if you could explain your thought process.

If I see a girl who I find attractive and really like, I don't go..'OO.. I must be her friend!' whilst also wanting her to be my girlfriend at some point later on.

If I see a girl I like, I approach her, have a conversation and ask her out.

Not once have I been friendzoned, not once have I wasted time being 'friends first'. I consider that act completely pointless.

You can get much closer and learn much more about someone after going on a few dates than you can seeing them around as a casual 'friend'.

[Cryostatic]

@sawno I don't think that makes much sense. I've got girls that I'm able to maintain good friendships with ~because~ I got the whole sexual attraction mess out of the way first. Girls who weren't interested in dating me, but were still cool people that I was okay being friends with. And I don't ever have to worry about having to annihilate those friendships in a fiery pit of awkward rejection because I caught feelings later on.

[Anon-ymous1]

There is a lot of truth to this, and a lot of good advice. In fact, all of it. I would only say that being shitty to someone, usually a guy (but not always), who engages in this type of talk when rejected or wanting sex, will change nothing. It is normal and natural for people to get upset when they get rejected-- getting rejected hurts and sucks. And *ALL PEOPLE* are capable of then reacting badly when being hurt-- that is *NOT* a "man thing." In these instances, yes, guys are usually responsible, and they need to have more patience and class. But like the chick who called out the guy for wanting a girl with hot tits: What exactly is wrong with being attracted to girls with hot tits? Literally nothing. We all want that. What's not cool is being shitty to people, him or her. What is the point of making it seem like average male preferences are wrong or bad or something? That's stupid.

These guys need more class, as I said. But then, so does almost everyone. Let's not conflate issues here.

[myTake Owner]

What you've said is all very true. However I think it's important to overcome these tendencies, me personally I don't care if I get rejected and even if I did, I'd just deal with it on my own, rather than projecting any kind of sadness or anger.

But of course it's not an issue unique to men, many girls can't handle rejection. With this case, given it's usually guys who approach, it's usually more guys who display this behavior.

In that example it wasn't the fact that he was into the girl's tits, it's the fact he was accusing the girl of being superficial all while he was saying crap like that about her and clearly he was only liking her for superficial reasons like that.

At the end of the day, this is just focusing on men. I'm a guy, I'm more familiar with male behavior and the reasons behind it. But of course, numerous gripes could be made with regards to behavior from males or females.

[Anon-ymous1]

Yeah fair enough, but again, wanting a hot gal with nice tits doesn't mean you *only* care about that. Yeah hypocrisy is crap, and that was her point I guess, but what, people aren't allowed to bemoan their fallacies and be upset?

You know what I see in person and online? When a girl makes a post or a complaint about superficiality of boys, and how she's destined to be alone, and she's upset, what do we see? We see almost nothing but attention, positive feedback, and "oh hon it's okay you'll find someone." When a boy does the same thing, what usually happens? He's mostly ignored, and when he's not ignored, he gets a lot of negative feedback too like "why are you bitching about this" or "don't be superficial." Does that make any sense? Hell no it doesn't. It's natural that people would be upset by that. Yeah guys like this need to learn a little respect and decency, but going in the extreme opposite to "teach them a lesson" or whatever crap accomplishes nothing.

[Anonymous]

I think the problem is that many men are jumping too far to the deep end when it comes to finding love.

At the moment I am in touch with this woman from Poland and we started off with sharing our languages (she wants to master English). From the start, we were just simply two strangers wanting to share knowledge. Then, we decided to go on Skype... almost every odd night, we talk and talk about our lives and experiences, and we have come to the point of wanting to see other in person.

Throughout that time I have not said anything about her figure... the only thing I have done is tell her that she have a pretty face, a lovely smile, and has a very warm heart. In return, she told me that I am a true gentleman who shows respect and she thinks I have a great sense of humour.

She was honest with me and told me how there are so many desperate men around her, wanting to get her pants off and have sex, which made her not trust men. But after she met me online and talked, I have opened her mind and she realises that there are good men out there. :)

That, I think, is how you win a woman's heart. Go slow, get to know the woman, be sensible and polite. If this is considered "being a nice guy", then I am not ashamed of it. Being desperate and perverted will get you no where in life, other than a prostitute who doesn't love you.

And yes, I not your bad-boy alphamale type with swag, but you know something? I'd rather be a gentleman with working class income, than an asshole with lots of credit cards.

[ayylamo]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having lots of credit cards.

[Unit1]

That makes sense. Women do have a sixth sense, that we don't and when it comes to the female intuition (that we don't exactly have) you can't hide the truth any longer. So better be honest right away because she can tell most of the times.

Women are women but that's just why i love them 😊

[Anonymous]

Some people lump me into the nice guy category. Ugh. They don’t get it. They mistake kindness, maybe some apathy, open mindedness, for “niceness.”

I don’t pick friends because they’re constantly nice. I pick them because they handle things well, they’re kind people who (hopefully) will call you on it when you’re being way out of line. People who are genuinely helpful without it being with constant strings attached. Those are friends I want. That’s who I want to be.

I want genuine kindness, not sycophantic garbage. I see people pretending to be nice when you want something, but the second I’m not going to give you what you think you want, then it disappears. That’s not true kindness. And I may be fooled by it for a little while. But once I see that it’s all a manipulation tactic, I’m not going for that. As a guy, I see that from girls and boys.

A marketing guy once told my professionals group... “you can’t make an effective marketing point out of something that people respond to with ‘so?’”

“Shouldn’t everyone in your field do that?” Even if other people don’t do it, and it’s not common, something like that can’t be your main marketing tactic. It’s not going to work. “I love him because he doesn’t beat me!” Is a pretty crappy relationship, even if true. That’s not true love.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I'm not really sure what you're getting at here. You started off sounding like a woman and wrapped it up with some rather obvious insights about marketing.

[Anon-ymous1]

Hmm. Well said.

[MrPresident]

I don´t know if i was a "nice" guy, i had a crush on a girl.
For moths i always helped her, wrote her poems, made her drawings, she never rejected them but neither gave a sign of not wanting them, she sometimes said she wanted more and i did it for her because i loved her.
One day i tought "Well it is obvious i like her, why does she not say anything?" after some time i got courage and said it directly that i had a crush on her, that i liked her. She responded "I didn't know you felt that for me, im sorry i dont fell the same." At that part i was a little mad, i gave her the signs i hoped she would reject me earlier the thing is that i was a A student and that i helped her with her studies she got good grades because of me. A mutual friend later when she was mad with her, told me the truth that for her i was her puppet, that she could ask me anything because i was mad in love with her. After that i cut my relations with the girl, after the "I didn't know" i still was friend with her, i would help her, but i ended up giving up on the drawings the poems. After some time she starts texting me again, asking how was i going, talking about her mother problems and how she missed me, the love that i had reborn easily i would help her during those time i would drive her around places to help her. This was exectly after i got my car license and one night i started thinking somebody that went with me in the car exam was friends of her, it was true... She used me... again.
Now of course i talk sometimes with her but i have a girlfriend that i think really loves me for who i am and not the benefits that i bring to her.

[EpicDweeb]

I will admit... it's frustrating being seen as a "nice guy/white knight" by other guys. I've had several guys tell me stuff like "that white knight bullsh*t isn't gonna get you laid." Those guys piss me off as much if not more so than the "nice guy" types because it seems like they've made the assumption that if a guy is being nice, he must want sex from a girl, which by extent implies that their only motivation is in fact sex.

I try to be a nice person in general. Do I succeed? Not as much as I should like. Am I awesome? I am in my mom's eyes sometimes so I've got that going for me... but... basic point being it's frustrating once labeled as a "white knight," to not seem like even more of one when explaining yourself.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah, unfortunately the 'nice guys' give real nice guys a bad reputation and now people will judge you when you're just trying to be a good person.

I've been labeled a 'white knight' before too. Some guys will call you that as soon as you take a woman's side in an argument, even though you're taking her side because you agree with her, not because she's a woman.

[EpicDweeb]

I've noticed most of the times I've been called a white knight, are times I'm giving girls tips on how to avoid guys who only want sex... Not to say my advice was good but you get the idea.

[Naydyonov]

Don't worry. If you're genuinely nice every normal person will see it.
Notice how your answer didn't include "I'm a nice guy" but instead "I try to be a nice person". These small things show your true character and I think it's likely that anyone who talks to you will know that you're not bullshitting them.

[EpicDweeb]

@Naydyonov I hope sincerely that will be the case. I'd rather not alienate myself under the pretense of mistaken false sincerity.

[Naydyonov]

of course of course

[Kat_puppies]

why do men do that. they become so damn rude because you reject them and not take a him and go all the way to blackmail you for not liking them back. One time this guy texted me he was like. "omg your eyes are the prettiest sight i see so far and your body is hella hoot" then im like "back off dude not intrested" they he was like" you fucking ugly ass fat slut. nobody likes you. your a fucked up bitch who shouldn't live life." then i told him "how the hell if im a slut when i never had sex"

[myTake Owner]

Yeah, isn't it ridiculous. They're just so selfish that they almost feel entitled to you and if you dare to reject them, they become angry and need to make themselves feel better by trying to hurt you or delude themselves into thinking they didn't want you in the first place.

Literally anything they say means nothing because they literally found you attractive before you rejected them. A lot of them resort to calling girls sluts too, it's crazy.

I remember I was with this girl back in high school and this other dude asked her out and she said she was taken and he went around telling everyone that she was a slut. He was then telling me to break up with her as well. I just had to laugh him away.

[Kat_puppies]

i swear i laugh and nod my head in amuse of how bipolar men could be

[bc755]

Come on "blackmail"? These guys were low for the name calling but I didn't see blackmail anywhere.

[TheJellyFrogLives]

Guys like that piss me off, what's wrong with being genuine and looking for deeper connection? You keep your standards up, girl!

[genuinlysensitive]

Men become rude when rejected rudely. When you ask a woman out and she laughs then goes over to her gfs and points at you and they all laugh, she doesn't deserve to be treated politely, still a lot of guys would just ignore them.

[myTake Owner]

@genuinlysensitive That's crap. You're fighting immature behavior with more immature behavior. If a girl did that to me, I'd rise above it. Laugh it off and move on. There's no point in getting rude, that will just justify their rude actions in their minds.

[Kat_puppies]

@bc755 ya ma dude he was gonna use other pictures of naked girls he found on the internet to blackmail me

[genuinlysensitive]

@takeowner I have not done that personally, I am just pointing out that rude and as you put it "immature" behavior often begets rude and "immature" behavior. Surely you must have noticed this since you are so "suave" and "knowledgeable" about human interactions.

[Kat_puppies]

@genuinlysensitive do not comment oh here we are through we will accept that some men can be salty as fuck after rejected so they can make themselves feel better, take your butt hurt else where

[genuinlysensitive]

Lol, seems like you are the one who is salty, butthurt, and railing against an entire gender, not to mention taking what I said out of context.

[Kat_puppies]

@genuinlysensitive i am not i said some im not butt hurt i told you to leave we was finished with this conversation

[bc755]

He was going to use pictures? That's blackmail. What an ass.

[D_Bone_Steak]

DUDE!!! I was starting to think I was the only dude really tired of guys suffering from "nice guy syndrome." The only thing I'd like to add is when one of these "nice guys" are successful and get what they want, they really eff up the girl's opinion of men in general.

Same goes for all these so called "male feminists" that fake their way into a position of "alliance" only to end up assaulting a women... you're effing females up for reals.

It's not a new phenomenon but it's a phenomenon that's thriving right now... men acting fake to get laid. Why does it work and is working so well for fake guys right now?

... and the answer to that is where we've gone wrong in teaching little girls to deal with men. I'm basically saying they're more susceptible to fake men more now than ever... perhaps because they're being taught to avoid "real men" as the scum of the earth.

End of rant...
Drops mic...

[myTake Owner]

Haha. Well said, man. Appreciate it.

[sawno]

Your doing things with the wrong motives.
If you want sex with a girl you should be direct, that boasts confidence.
No tricks, completely up front flirting with the clear intention you want to sleep with her. You will then be judged on sexual compatibility and if compatible the girl who likes casual sex will allow you in the bedroom.

For relationships its entirely different, then you shouldn't be nice for the sake of being nice but you should be yourself. And if you are genuinely a nice person she will notice and fall for you if she is your type of girl.

If you are acting nice for the sole purpuse of getting laid (The first scenario) then you are being dishonest towards her and yourself and since your approach is a mixture of finding romance and getting laid both types of ladies are going to be turned off because your first of all not confidently saying up front what you want and second of all not actually nice.

[Analinda1999]

I agree 100%

Same goes for Women. this was really good and concise. halfway people suck.

[myTake Owner]

100% agree. Thanks for the input, man.

[Analinda1999]

#:-)

[Jemini_Crocket]

If only more guys would understand this. I'm so tired of hearing the whimpers of so called "nice guys". Once I hear a guy saying that about him or some of his male friends, I back up immediatly.

"Nice guys" these days just wanna shag the girl and nothing else. They're trying to hide their real selfs. "Bad boys" are at least honest in this. They both suck in the end tho

[Unit1]

So what should it be? The pretentious nice guy, the bad boy or some other dude or no man at all?

[BrittBratt2416]

@Unit1 The guy who actually wants to be in relationship with a woman and not just use her as sperm dumpster.

[Unit1]

@BrittBratt2416 sounds good! 👍

[AmesJane]

@BrittBratt2416 Girl YAS.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@BrittBratt2416 Haha you said sperm dumpster

[Naydyonov]

Agree. When I hear the question "Who are you?" and a guy answers "Well okay, to start I'm a NICEEEEEE Guyyyyy" I cringe. We all know who this guy really is.

As I believe, self assessing yourself is good done privately, but never quote your own opinions when describing yourself.

[bc755]

@BrittBratt2416 Makes good sense.

[TheJellyFrogLives]

Personally I seek a deep and meaningful relationship, but then again I'm rather effeminate so not a good example of a "guy" 😂

[AmesJane]

@TheJellyFrogLives Are you a guy? Then whatever way you feel and are, is a valid example of a "guy". Stereotypical BS never helped anyone. There is no singular right or valid way of being a "real" man.

[TheJellyFrogLives]

@AmesJane genetically, yes, I’m biologically male. But since I was 4 I’ve been aware of my gender dysphoria and desire to be female. Which affects how I think and act.

[genuinlysensitive]

What a load of crap. Basically, all men just want to bang the women. If you think this is the case, its most likely because you exclusively date "bad boys" then try to project that onto all men. Grow up and stop blaming others for your poor choices.

[snowshy]

I've had SOOOOOO many of these fucking messages. People who have to call themselves 'nice guys' are almost always not. They're even worse than ultra-alpha guys because nice guys are deluded and think they're entitled to a relationship when they have ulterior motives for trying to be around you in the first place

[Deydey12345]

Thank you. Mho

[sawno]

Thats why a genuine nice guys have learned not to say it anymore, if we are indeed as nice as we assume she will notice and tell us. If not we are not compatible and its time to move on to someone who finds us nice for who we are.

[snowshy]

@sawno That's a very mature answer and I agree. I was taught at a young age something I still agree with today for both guys and girls: if you're as nice as you think you are, people will tell you, you don't have to tell them because they can already see it in your character and the way you treat others because it is the right thing, not because you want a reward.

'Nice guys' above are the antithesis to that.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I agree! Also, I hate when men complain about that. Like what do y'all expect women friendships, or any friendships, are about? Just pillow fights and shopping? Lol no.
Male friends tell me their relationship problems. Female friends tell me their problems, I don't think it's such a "horrible thing", it's called being a friend.

[Tdieseler]

Hey baby!!!

[Pie-Rack44]

"Nice" are basically turds that won't flush. They hang around hoping to prey on a moment of vulnerability like if you've had too much to drink or you had a fight with your boyfriend to make a play on you for sex. They are manipulative and twisted.

[PrincessPie]

Yes, exactly.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Haha nice symbolism there. You don't want to give the turd attention because it's gross, but you need to make sure it goes down the drain, but it just won't. It keeps circling and circling...

[HamAndCheese]

Yeah but that still doesn't account for the fact that guys that objectively treat women worse tend to do better. "Nice guys finish last" isn't just some empty catch phrase. Yeah, I agree, thirsty betas are a HUGE detriment to men in the dating market. But to say that, "haha I rejected you because your being nice was obviously false based upon some arbitrary metric I conjured up" well... it's disingenuous, discouraging, and frankly excessively demanding in the context of courtship. "I want to be treated well." "No no, that kind of well isn't good enough, I want a specific brand of being treated well."

Source: former nice guy who started doing better with women when I started treating them worse.

[myTake Owner]

I'd say it's about having self respect and realizing your true value. Live your own life, don't devote all of your attention to her and she'll see you as higher value.

[wildandbright]

I think women’s reactions to “jerks” and “nice guys”’are, in part, results of culturally engrained definitions of masculinity. Women want to be treated well. We want a genuinely caring and compassionate man, but a lot of women can see through a “nice guy.” Many women can sense if a man is being genuine or if he has another motive than kindness. Now, if the guy is actually kind, caring, etc., why wouldn’t women be attracted to him? Well, many women (and men) have been taught by society that being masculine and “a man” is the exact opposite of being a “nice guy,” so both sexes, in many cases, see the “nice guys” as effeminate or as a push-over. Women are taught that masculine (being disengaged, aloof, hard, tough, unemotional, non-communicative, etc.) is what they should find sexy, so the ditch the good guy and go for the jerk. If we taught men and women that toxic masculinity isn’t the end-all-be-all, nice guys would stand more of a chance, I think.

[wildandbright]

*ingrained. I can spell. Lol

[HamAndCheese]

Come on, that's a real cop out to try and deflect blame by saying that society is responsible for your poor judgement.

[myTake Owner]

wildanbright has a point, but I don't think it's solely because society teaches that, it's because that's what's biologically ingrained.

In a wild survival of the fittest situation. It's the woman's job to be kind and compassionate. It's a man's job to be the dominant, aggressive force because he's tasked with protecting the family. I believe these types of things are still ingrained within us and that's why a woman is more drawn to men that are a little more aloof and dominant. But no girl is going to tolerate a guy treating her like shit indefinitely. No matter how attractive his other qualities are, there will always be a breaking point.

That's why I recommend being somewhere in between. Be a man, don't be a pushover. But also be respectful and caring as well.

[wildandbright]

Don’t misunderstand. I don’t think women should play into the expectations. I do think, however, that people learn behaviors and develop preference based on environment.

[wildandbright]

Well said.

[Anon-ymous1]

@HamAndCheese
It's a complex issue, but you make a good point.

[PrincessPie]

You need to find a happy medium don’t be a push over but treat her well also, being to nice is a turn off because I find it insincere and fake (no one is that nice) but a guy treating me like shit is even worse, treat em mean keep them keen is bullshit.
But most of these guys who constantly whine about being “good guys” in my experience aren’t even nice guys lol.

[razor97]

hey i was just scrolling down in the comments section 🙄 xD
and i noticed that you're pretty

[PrincessPie]

@razor97 Um.. thanks lol.

[Belgie]

Jesus those screenshots are fantastic. Nice guys are often bitter and twisted and one rejection away from rage induced freak outs. And they utterly lack the self awareness to realise that women have seen this shit before and are neither fooled nor willing to risk dating such a guy.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

If only these guys were actually nice they'd get girls easily!! They don#t know what nice is. Great take, gave me a bit of a laugh tbh

[HandsomeGuy500]

Bullshit

[sawno]

I do believe that genuinely nice guys finish last to, but we get to keep the girl in the end.

[freakyzeaky]

I wouldn't say "easily", but yeah, entitlement and sacrificing your own desires and happiness for others is woman repellant.

[HandsomeGuy500]

@sawno "I do believe that genuinely nice guys finish last to, but we get to keep the girl in the end."

Oh great, so when 10 or 20 other dicks have been inside her, the nice guys get the left overs. Fuck that.

[sawno]

@HandsomeGuy500 Those 10 guys might have had there fun, but i get the ultimate gift. A life long incredible bond and all the benefits that brings. A good relationship is shared on so much more layers then physical sex and even if they broke her or "used" her in the past that doesn't make her less valuable. Because ultimately she would be a great person i would deeply deeply love.

[freakyzeaky]

@HandsomeGuy500 Yeah, I can see where you are coming from.

What most people don't understand is that there are nice guys and then there are /nice/ guys. Nice Guys TM are what is being described in this Take. Mr. Nice Guy hides his desires because there is shame attached, thinks that by being nice and doing things for the woman he cares for will get his needs met. It is what Glover calls the "covert contract". Look up No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert A. Glover. Even if you don't consider yourself a "Nice Guy", it is still a great read and very informative. Helps to recognize certain behaviors, even if you don't identify with them.

On the other hand, regular good guys can be healthily self-centered but are still not open with their desires due to social anxiety, shyness, poor social skills, lack of charm, lack of confidence, perceived lack of value... so many reasons. That doesn't mean they feel entitled, just distraught by their circumstances.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

@HandsomeGuy500 I totally understand, I wouldn't want the "leftovers" either I'd want a girl who saved herself for an actual decent relationship instead of wasting her time with her legs open for shitty guys. But seriously lots of girls do like guys who are genuinely nice and they have standards. Girls who would only date nice guys, and treat them right. The thing is lots of self-proclaimed "nice guys" aren't actually nice, as demonstrated by the messages above

[HandsomeGuy500]

@sawno Yer, you get the left overs and get to bring up her children that she's had from different fathers. Plus you can never truly trust a woman who has slept around with bad boys. A real lady does not sleep around. But go ahead and do as you wish.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

@sawno I wouldn't nice guys always finish last but to a certain extent the cocky confident guys seem to be able to get in there fast and it's only later that the girl realises she picked the wrong guy and he's a dickhead. But not all girls fall for that. I want exactly what you want, but honestly, it's so much better when she hasn't been with a million people before you. I'd much rather save myself

[HandsomeGuy500]

Well it seems to me that those women who go for the nice genuine guys are extremely rare. The reality is, most young women today see it as cool and trendy to go with the bad boys or ass holes. This is why there are so many single mothers and fatherless children. There may be a small percentage of young women who want to settle down with a good guy, but the majority seem to be more interested in fun and pleasure rather than commitment.

[sawno]

@HandsomeGuy500 "get to bring up her children that she's had from different fathers" No, because those girls i wouldn't date as i am not yet ready to be a father and dislike the idea of the relationship failing while the child got attached to me.

Your sounding so bitter and distrusting in your responses, the kind of girl i fall for is also a genuinely nice person with a similar personality to mine. She wouldn't cheat on me, she'd be the type who became single because the guy threated her poorly or she fell out of love with him. Her wounds from a past relationship i would be happy to heal as that is part of my personality and i would trust her that no matter the amount of bed partners she had prior to me she is going to be an equally loyal and great girlfriend.

Its a different story for flat out slutty girls who constantly get drunk and sleep around. Those are not my type as i seek someone to really build a deep connection with while being able to have deep conversations.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

@HandsomeGuy500 I think lots of women want to have fun while they're young but in the long term most of us want a strong relationship with a good life partner

[HereToProveMyPoint]

What we want and what we actually do are different tho. I actually saved myself for a good relationship. But some people have mega bad judgement and they stray from their intentions

[HereToProveMyPoint]

@sawno I totally agree with you. Just know there are girls out there who want the same thing, you really can find a good one

[HandsomeGuy500]

@sawno Ok white knight. Good luck.

[HandsomeGuy500]

Sure, young women want to have fun, but nice guys don't want the left overs. Why on earth would I want to settle down with a woman who has had her fun and now wants to settle down, but she's had multiple partners and also has a few children that she expects me to help bring up. A real lady does not sleep around and have multiple partners. Sadly, this seems to be the norm for most women these days.

[freakyzeaky]

@HereToProveMyPoint that is because what attracts us and what is best for a long-term relationship are two different things. Good values don't get dicks hard and pussies wet. It takes charm, witty banter, teasing, flirting... many good guys haven't learned that skill. It also takes being well put together, which many men don't want to spend the resources on; a nice haircut, sharp well-fitting clothing, hitting the gym, dental work, nice cologne, cool accessories like a wristwatch, nicely trimmed facial hair and fingernails.

So many guys think it is more manly to just be savage. haha! Depends on the type of woman I suppose, but so many of these "good" and "nice" guys only consider the most beautiful women and dating coaches also reinforce the idea that guys should only go after the "best", as in 10 out of 10 knockout or otherwise they are settling.

I personally like cute women, ones who are down-to-earth with a very feminine streak. Freaky, but sweet. Difficult to find, but worth it.

[HereToProveMyPoint]

@HandsomeGuy500 I totally agree, people can do what they want but I think it's best to have meaningful relationships with only people who are really special to you instead of sleeping around, I was just saying I think the fun why some women do it, but not me