I was inspired to ask this question because another user and I got into a little bit of an argument about whether a "stand-up guy" could be intimidated by a woman based off of the way she acts and looks. This person said.
"The only reason a stand-up guy would EVER be intimidated by any woman, is if she was going to shoot him, or beat the crap out of him, or falsely accuse him of rape. THEN he might be intimidated."
What are your thoughts? Have you ever been intimidated by a women and do you think that it makes you a less if a man if you have been?
Do you think that men can be intimidated by women?
Yes, but not so much because of who she is but partly because of who she thinks she may be.
Let me explain... It's related to something I call "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2"...
If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.
"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...
All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...
And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks: 1. There are a zillion other guys who want her. 2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend. 3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special. 4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy. 5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)
So, he basically thinks that 1) he doesn't have a chance to get her, 2) if he did, she's going to be a lot of work, and then 3) he'll lose her.
Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...
Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.
So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.
Just to reiterate, this is Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2 in a nutshell:
If a girl is attractive enough, many guys will not approach her simply because:
1. He thinks he doesn't have a shot because: A. He thinks she's already taken. After all, a girl that attractive is going to have lots of guys hitting on her. B. Even if she was available, like with all women, no guy wants to get shot down. With a beautiful girl, guys expect that they will get shot down.
2. If he did get her, she'd be a lot of work to keep her.
3. ... and then she'll eventually leave him for a better-looking / richer guy anyway.
In Jr High there was this girl who seemed to be into me and had approached me about me becoming her boyfriend and insisted that I should be with her, she had previously quite a few "lovers" as she liked to say, you know "experienced women", or in this case a very young cum dumpster only 2 or 3 months older than me.
After my attempts of saying I was not interested, she still insisted, heck she even told people that she was my first one. Ignoring her didn't work either. But I could bare with this somewhat? I'd once had a old black dude assault me when I was a kid while I lived abroad, so I have a high tolerance level of seeing worse crap in my life. But one day I had enough and asked a classmate to date me so she would leave me alone (nothing romnatic or anything). The other classmates later found out that she was lying.
I believe it was sometime in November where she almost ruined my life. So, what she did was the following, she falsely accused me of, yes you guessed it right, the big R-word, assault and battery, she even gave herself a blueye. Of course I was expelled after this and lost a couple friends too. She even went as far as to shove a condom inside her cunt and I guess she somehow got my gym cloths or whatever and rubbed with it and gave it to the damn cops as "evidence" - There was no sperm in it, anyhow I had the cops visit me too. The only reason I did not end up in juvy or whatever was because I recorded a conversation with her and somehow managed to make her cough up. Anyhow, I really wanted to beat the living shit out of her, I really did, but I remembered that I had terrible luck with most things unless I can prepare something beforehand. Am I intimidated by women? If a girl can do this and not face any consequences for her actions, what do you think women are capable of?
Yeah but not cos they're worried about being physically abused but more emotional as far as i've seen anyway
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What Girls & Guys Said
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
There was a time when I found certain women, but what it really is is fear of rejection or being looked down on, and it’s usually because the girl is so hot that the guy feels like she’s out of his league.
If it happens it’s purely about physical attractiveness. Nothing else about a woman intimidates a man.
Some women like the idea that men are intimidated by their confidence, success, intelligence or whatever, but that’s really just a cope. Those women (the ones who think that way) are just unlikeable.
I want to separate "direct intimidation" from "indirect intimidation". A crippled guy in a wheelchair could intimidate me if he's a lawyer who has a reputation for suing anyone who gets on his bad side. But put me on an island with just him and he doesn't intimidate me at all. Women are like this to me.
Meanwhile, put me on an island with Jason Momoa and he intimidates me even with just the two of us and no one to rush to his side. That's direct intimidation. And I've never been around a woman who directly intimidated me this way. I'm afraid of the people who would rush to her side, not her.
I think you might be able to understand this kind of "indirect intimidation" with children. I'm a friendly type. I like to hug even guys (bro-hug to keep it cool, but I wouldn't mind hugging a guy). But you might still be a bit nervous about hugging kids or getting too friendly with them since someone might mistake you for like a weirdo.
... so even other people's children intimidate me a bit in this sense. Like I want to sort of keeping my distance a bit. But put just me and the kid on an island and they pose no danger to me at all.
They certainly can be! I think men get intimidated by women when they lack a sense of self awareness. It doesn't help that women also tend to play games with men for fun. I've heard a number of women say it's cute to see men flustered. I'm sure that plenty of them do it maliciously as well though.
Basically the trick to being confident with women is to think of treating her like a good friend and then add a little extra grace, with the knowledge that you want her to be more than a friend. If you are genuine with your friends, and you treat your ladies like friends; you won't leave her wondering where the sparks and magic went after the relationship gets more comfortable.
Yes. One of my exes was 6'6" (198 cm) and 350 to 400 pounds (180 kg), if I had to guess. She was MASSIVE. She was a kind girl, but was definitely intimidating.
And then there's small women who are just angry and wild, like a rabid dog. Female cops tend to be like this. Angry and pissed off, all the time.
And then there's you, who's tall and strong. That is intimidating too, although you found a short husband who's like 4 cm less than you, so this was not too much of a boundary for you.
So that guy was wrong and sounded like he was just speaking nonsense.
I can't tell about others but I can get intimidated by a woman, and it has got nothing to do with the gender it depends on the intellect of the person whether a man or a woman. If a woman has more knowledge and intellect then me and she knows how to use it, it will definitely intimidate me. Can't say about others though Miss.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Pretty much what you said. There are however much deeper issues when some blues feel intimidated (or emasculated as they love to say) by women earning a dollar more than they do. Like FFS get a grip on reality. Nobody is going to castrate you if a woman outearns you.
I would literally walk up to women who are over 6ft than me and banter with them. Why should I be scared of someone if they're more attractive? They're people. Just like me.
Well that's awesome and very admirable of you, but there is no denying the fact that it's still very rare for a woman to approach a man, did you also ask him out first?
Well actually I was the first to reach out and let him know that I was interested. We never really like "went out" when we first started dating. I think our first like "date" was hiking and it was like a mutual idea. Though he initiated the kiss later that evening lol
I guess its the social norm, and from my experience a lot of guys like to feel like the pursuer. I would guess its the whole masculinity and wanting to be the leader thing. Not that applies to everyone but it seems like that is the most prevalent.
It still seems very rare for a woman to be the initiator in starting a relationship with a guy or to be the one to approach a guy or ask him out, despite how modern the world has become
I know that was a pretty broad question. But have you ever been a little intimidated when interaction with someone you find particularly attractive? I still am sometimes. lol
