WHITE GUYS - Are you intimidated by black females?

[BBGyrl]

Back in the day my friends and I wanted nothing more then to be able to date a white guy but unfortuntely for us none has tried. Can it be intimidating to go up to black girl and ask for her number? Do you think that she'll turn you down because you're not black. Just wondering because it seems like black/white relationships are mostly black men with white woman and not so much the other way around.

[djstizl]

Errrggg, I just typed my answer and lost it some how. I'll type it again.

My thoughts are similar to Kayne's. I've had some crushes. The biggest factor for me is lifestyle/cultural differences. I believe the reason for that is, the area I live in (100,000 or so people) is mostly populated by whites. There are other races and everyone gets along for the most part, but most people stick to their own. Most people also fit into their 'stereotypical type' for their race. I don't like stereotypes, but they do exist out of some truth. I have seen some black girls who I thought were gorgeous, but didn't approach them because of their style. If I see a cute girl who has 'hip-hop' style, I won't approach her no matter her race. I don't have a problem with it if people chose that style, but its not for me. Sadly, most black girls around my area seem to be very into the rap/hip hop pop culture. I'm a guy who loves hard rock, has tattoos, is a gear head, watches anime, ect. and I look for a girl who is similar. In my area, its mostly white girls who are also like that, so that's who I end up dating. I am totally open to dating/having friends who are outside my race, (and I do have a few friends who aren't white) but I like being around people with similar interests/lifestyle. If I were out at my favorite rock bar on a Friday night and met a cute black girl, I'd feel far more comfortable in talking to/flirting with her. I'd feel she probably likes rock music too (which is a big deal to me, I am a huge music fan). I know there are lots of black girls who like rock music and watch anime, I see it online quite frequently. It's just in my area, that's not the case. To give a more specific answer to part of your question, yes I would feel a little intimidated to give a black girl my number for fear of rejection as a white guy. Not just a white guy, a short and slim white guy, which is an issue for me with all women. I was going to say, if you like a white guy, you should just let him know. However I would guess there is the same uncertainties, 'what if he doesn't like black girls?' We should come up with some kind of white guy/black girl friendly sign :P

Well, that's pretty much my perspective. I hope that helps you out. Garret

[BBGyrl]

Wow, love your answer and I totally agree with you! I do want someone who is into the same things as me regardless of race but like you said I often think does he even like black girls - it's crazy! I love the idea of the white guy/black girl sign, maybe we should come up with one and then share it hopefully it'll spread =]

Thanks for answering even though you lost it and had to re-type it I really appreciate it.

[scar1]

I am glad to see your answer got good feedback, I typed something saying the same basic thing on a diferent question and got a thumbs down

[jacquesvol]

Yes, it can be complexing/intimidating. Afraid of being despised/rejected by her as someone who pries on colored girls to show off to his (white) buddies. I would wait for her to make the first move.(and would gladly have accepted it when I was unmarried)

I once chatted with an American young woman on Yahoo, a nurse in her 30ies. (more than 10yrs ago) One of the first things she said was "I think it's more honest that I tell you first I'm black". I was flabbergasted. It never had crossed my mind to ask someone his/her skin complexion.(I still never ask) We talked pleasantly for hours.

btw, I don't ever think in terms of "females" (or "males" for that matter) but in terms of women and girls and men and boys

[BBGyrl]

I think it's sad that there are men out there that would date a black woman just to show her off to his friends!

[missnicole]

I hear this a lot, but I've never had a problem with this... Actually, pretty much all of my bf's have been white (I heart blondes...) even my first boyfriend when I was 16, and through the years I've been approached all the time by white guys... I notice mixed couples too,but maybe just cause they catch my eye...

It could be a regional thing? I've lived west coast, east coast, and have traveled around and its the same everywhere for me...but I'm mostly in the city, where I guess its more diverse than outskirts of town or something? Hard to say...

[Anonymous]

I really hope this doesn't come off racist - but I think white men ARE intimidated by black women. Black women (this is the disclaimed part and I don't mean it as a generality but just from my experience) are more vocal with their opinions and not afraid to show it. They have more of an assertive role and lifestyle that white families aren't used to (again these are just based on my experiences). So it is a bit intimidating because you don't know what kind of response your going to get - not only to your face but from society as well

[jaron91]

I don't know why we're automatically deemed "intimidating" or "threatening"...ugh, sometimes it sucks to be a black girl that generally like guys outside the black race

I'm actually REALLY nice, but I've been told it's how I dress and how I carry myself that scares people off :/

[finecute]

hey, not all black girls want a thug. Most do but not all. it just depends on the girl. Most black girls do like the thug type guys, me personally, I don't like a thugged out guy, but I do like a guy to be tough when he needs to you know? so it just depends on the girl

[BBGyrl]

I agree with you, I don't want the whole thug personality because that's not me. Of course I want a "manly man" but you don't have to be a thug to one.

[jacquesvol]

[Most do ]

:|

Sounds like a gross exageration, so I looked it up. According to my dictionary.com:

thug -thug 1. a cruel or vicious ruffian, robber, or murderer.

2. (sometimes initial capital letter) one of a former group of professional robbers and murderers in India who strangled their victims.

Urbandictionary.com:

a thug is someone who is going through struggles, has gone through struggles, and continues to live day by day with nothing for them. A thug is NOT a gangster. :-s

[finecute]

True. but most do but theen there are a lot of girls that sees that as a turn off....like me

[BeMuse]

The word “intimidation” in relation to relationships is a female defense mechanism. Women that use it are huge egotistical wimps with low self-esteem. They think very highly of themselves, but are so fragile they will shatter into a million pieces if someone farts in their general direction… When people aren’t interested in you, that doesn’t mean they are scare of you it just means they aren’t interested in you. When you’re too cowardly to face rejection that makes you the intimidated one. You’re the one that has expressed interest in White guys, but you’re not making any effort to pick them up. You’re sitting on your thumb waiting for them to make a move because you’re too scare to get shot down. Stop projecting your cowardliness onto White guys. If you want to date them, then approach them, flirt, and ask them out. You’ll probably get shot down 9,965 times out of 10,000, but there are some White guys out there that will give you a chance.

[Kayne]

It is somewhat intimidating, I've had a few small crushes here and there.

I have no racist intentions in what I say. But just the way most black girls carry themselves somewhat high and mighty has always thrown me off. Even more so since I'm more of the "punk/indie college hippie"

I mean, I don't have any sort of "gangsta" style or anything like that. It seems like every black girl I get to know is always really into the thug.

[BBGyrl]

Well I'm so NOT into the whole thug look. I feel like most white guys might think that but not all us are into that. I appreciate your honesty, thanks for answering! =]

[Kayne]

Of course. feel free to message me if you have any more questions. Ide be more than happy to chat.

[sunspotmia]

No they are not intimidated by black women, they are intimidated by other white men and white society that has told them that they better stay with thier own kind or they will be viewed as nothings. But in my book men who think like this already are nothing.

[Anonymous]

I think (yes, playing to stereotypes) that black men have the "balls" and confidence to go up to a girl and ask her out (no matter the race), while white guys, who are seen a more passive in this department get shy and even more so with a girl of a different race. The two may handle rejection much differently, thus influencing how they go about the situation.

[Flood]

Ethnicity doen't come into it for me. I have more things to worry about then where someone's great to the umptenth grandfather came from and the colour of their skin. Everyone is equal in my eyes.

[Anonymous]

i have a white guy friend and he told me that too.

they should just be more confident. a white girl can reject you just as easily as a black girl its not like we bite lol

[lolfreddy]

Yes we are. or at least I am. I don't wanna get shot by your brother, or dad so I stay away :(

[BBGyrl]

I don't know how to take what you said, because it comes across as pretty racist to me.

[lolfreddy]

I'm sorry if it comes out racist. I didn't mean it that way.

I am intimidated because I have seen many of my white friends go for black girls and they always have to "Impress" the girls family. I wouldn't want that pressure and frankly I think the expectations are a little higher because I'm white. (well I'm actually Puerto Rican) I didn't mean to offen you :(

[Just-A-Random-Guy]

In the dating scene, I prefer Black and Latino girls. Something very feminine about them that turns me on.

[emach]

I think the prevaling cultural meme among white men is that black girls are not attracted to white men. While that may not be true, as long as we believe it we are not as likely to approach black girls even when we find them attractive.

[Anonymous]

Maybe some belive that black females have no attraction towards white guys