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My cousin is transgender, and I suspect the guy I was talking to had a sexual interest in transgender women based on things I noticed about him. I opened up to her about how his actions, along with other things he did, left me feeling hurt, unattractive, and not good enough. He ghosted me, and on top of that, I realized he had other sexual preferences that I wasn’t aware of.

I shared my feelings with my cousin, but I still have conflicting emotions about it all. At one point, I even asked her to look at his social media to see if I had missed anything, but then I told her to forget it because I didn’t fully trust her. I worried she might talk about me behind my back, and the thought of that triggered a breakdown because, despite everything, I still have strong feelings for him and just want to feel like I’m enough for him.

However, she went ahead and looked anyway. I found out through my mother that my cousin had not only checked his social media but even attempted to reach out to him. When I confronted my mother, she dismissed my feelings and defended my cousin, saying she would never do anything like that—despite her actions proving otherwise. My mother then tried to gaslight me, saying things like, “I’m sure you’ve done things too,” which was incredibly hurtful.

It broke my heart because I would never betray a family member like that or try to interfere with someone they had been involved with.

I felt like I had a strong connection with him because me and him would literally agree on everything and I felt like we were almost the same person with very similar points of view on everything, I should’ve seen that as a bit of a red flag too tbh. And the fact we are both autistic, and had very similar special interests.
Everyone says how amazing he is, but he’s leading me on (because I really really fancied him and he could tell), used me for sex once, then gaslights and manipulated me. All his answers are always vague. It’s like he’s either very blunt and cutting… or extremely vague and won’t give a direct answer. Also during sex he refused to use lube or condoms and I stupidly went with it, I’m worried he might’ve possibly done that to give me an sti (but he seemed pretty clean down there). He was also very selfish and I was on top the entire time. The afterwards he says he feels bad and that he’s crossed the line and that we both need to put a line there and not cross it again… but the next lesson starts flirting with me again… then I told him that I won’t be getting lessons for a while because I need to focus on coursework… so I’ve left it at that.
The whole time I felt like I was nothing to him, even though I was giving him everything pretty much and I was feeding his ego.
strange thing is, he got divorced AND left the Uni job (he taught me at uni too) at the same time and said it’s because the principle offered him no work after an argument happened and put it down to the principle being petty. He also said how he has a terrible temper and got a disciplinary after bursting into a rage at another staff member… so this is really suspicious. I also felt like he was opening up to me by telling me all this stuff… but really I was paying for lessons and he was using me as a therapist or thought he could take advantage. Also he’s very good at what he does, but seems to over inflate it and lies about how many gigs he’s done etc.