Should I ask her out again?

[Anonymous]

So I asked a friend of two years out back in October of last year, she said she didn't intend to flirt and was in a talking stage with another guy that she wanted to pursue things with and that she hoped I wasn't upset. I wasn't and we still get along when we see each other, she really handled the whole situation really respectfully, but I haven't seen her in person for about two months.

My friends say I fumbled the bag on multiple occasions, she wanted to meet my family members and she introduced me to her parents and sister, she invited me over to her house a couple of times to go swimming, and she told some of our mutual friends that I'm a sweet guy. I was too afraid of messing up the relationship so I didn't make a move, and now my friends make fun of me for 'getting the timing off' or something but I don't know if she was ever really interested anyway

I'm just kind of confused because the last time I saw her I told her I was going to change jobs and work as a lifeguard and she was all like you're going to be ripped and I'm barely going to recognize you after all the conditioning. In like a really flirty tone too? I was like why would she say that after rejecting me. I don't know if she's using me for attention or whats going on

I would love to have a chance with her but I don't know if its a good idea. I haven't heard any updates about her with the guy she's dating rn other than a mutual friend confirming like a week after she rejected me. I just want a game plan on how to move forward. Do I reach out and try to rekindle our friendship first? How do I find out if she's single or not? Any advice is much appreciated I'm so lost haha

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea I can probably help you figure some of this out. I'm a little bit mixed up on some parts of the timeline though.

So 2 years ago you asked her our, she just wanted to be friends. Everything was fine. You two are cool.

So now, is all the stuff about meeting families, and swimming at her house and everything... AFTER you asked her out the first time?

My question is, you haven't seen her for 2 months, what do you man should you rekindle your friendship? You've been friends for the past two years right? (or did I get that mixed up)

You should definitely rekindle your friendship. That's step 1

So you can't find out if she's single through any mutual friends, social media etc? That's usually something you can find out.

Actually, I guess that's step 1.

If she's with somebody, then everything else is irrelevant. You'd be out of luck..

It sounds like she might be into you. The things you're noticing, you're reading the right way. She could just be being a friend. But considering you had asked her out before, you would think she wouldn't "accidently" flirt with you again.

[Asker]

I have known her for two years, she did all the meeting the family stuff after we initially clicked about three months into the friendship. Summer '23 I didn't think that she could've been flirting then but in retrospect i mightve missed my opportunity then. I made the current move back in October after I heard she said that Im sweet and a really good guy from some mutual friends that have been trying to get us together

[Selene1600000]

Reach out casually and reconnect as a friend first, without pressure or expectations. If things feel good, you can directly ask if she’s seeing someone before making a move again. If she’s still not interested, accept it and don’t overanalyze mixed signals.

[chocolatetwopointo]

dont

[In_Trance]

Nope