Search Results: troubled past

My boyfriend told me about a situation and I'm having trouble seeing it from his perspective. I'd appreciate your feedback.

He says a woman "took advantage" of him. In the past, when he was with another woman, he was friends with a woman who he admits he was attracted to. His girlfriend was on tour at the time, so out of town. He says he had one drink at a party and felt messed up. He says he may have been drugged.

He says he went to his friend's house because he was "scared". He said he doesn't remember anything else. The next morning, she said "you were so out of it, I had to drink a bunch to not feel like I was taking advantage of you". He freaks out and says she raped him. His girlfriend I guess believed him because they moved on (he went on to sleep with 2 more women during their monogamous relationship). No one else believed it was rape. Their mutual friends saw it from her perspective (she felt humped and dumped).

First of all, I believe men can be sexually assaulted by women (inappropriate touching, sexually exploited, etc). I don't think men are animals. BUT in this case, why did he show up at HER place? And she didn't feed him booze and drugs. How is she held responsible? If a guy I really liked who also flirted with me made a move on me when he was drunk, I wouldn't think he was in a vulnerable state.

He has acquainted the situation to a male friend of mine trying to penetrate me in my sleep. This man and I had no romantic history. There was no suggestion of romance. I was visiting from out of town and stayed over. When I woke up to him on top of me, I left and wandered the streets of New York in shock (and almost jumped on the subway tracks, I was in such a state).

Did this woman take advantage of him? Did we experience something similar? Am I being a dick? My emotional response is FUCK THAT! HE'S A CHEAT AND BLAMES THIS WOMAN 😡 but maybe I'm missing something... or it's not rape and I'm so pissed he would compare our experiences. Thoughts?