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Hello, my relationship is about 2 years long with my boyfriend. At the beginning, he was lying to me a lot about important things along with doing suspicious stuff like giving another girl his jacket (he didn’t find that action in itself wrong, he viewed it as being a helpful friend), and romantic history. I didn’t know that he was lying then, and thought our relationship was going great even though I was a little more emotional during that time. He came clean because one of his friends told me 10 months in, and he apologized for his actions.

Not to sound narcissistic, but I have done a lot for him that he doesn’t appreciate. I have given him gifts and food, not expecting anything in return. I gave him oral and was waiting patiently until he was ready to do the same for me. I had a confrontation with him about not feeling appreciated enough in bed since I do what he wants and even got on birth control he wanted for him. He said he expresses his gratitude in other ways, but all I can respond to that is “how” since he doesn’t do anything outside of the bedroom as well besides hanging out and maybe food here or there.

I also haven’t been the best partner myself recently because I had to contact a male friend he hates to do some heavy lifting at my mom’s house. He was upset that I took that opportunity “away from him” whereas I’ve been asking him everyday on when he’d come but didn’t give me any response to that. He hates every male friend I have, and always makes me feel bad for wanting to hang out with them especially if I haven’t seen them in a while. Is it normal to feel like I haven’t been appreciated enough? He tells me he’s not good enough as well when I try to discuss things of this nature, and I’m tired of it. I’m not sure on what to do because every time I just want reassurance, he makes me feel bad for asking by playing the victim card and turn the tables so it can be about him.

In my field (medical) was dealing with a domestic situation. Now I used to be law enforcement & military so it takes a *lot* to intimidate me. As in I've stood on the side of a highway helping a friend with his traffic flagging company & had 6+ ton trucks whip by close enough to touch without flinching.

Anyway this guy was obviously used to abusing women. He tried to stare down/intimidate the front desk girls & the woman he was with had obviously long since learnt best to keep her head down.

When it came to me because I would not break eye contact, etc. or show any signs of fear/anxiety, etc. he started going on I was bothering him, etc. It was very obviously making him uncomfortable. Now trust me I can handle myself & had he tried something he'd have been on the floor by the time he could say shit. If I didn't break his nose first. Depends on what he tried.

But it just was a very heavy reminder that women (and child) abusers are nothing more than spineless cowards.