Search Results: sexual acts

I remember getting in my first big age gap relationship at 28. I was dating a 20 year old. It was a weird combination of excitement, fear of judgment, concern about maturity and yet youthful fun and vigor. I was also the oldest guy she ever dated too. That one didn’t work out. She was very immature and a freeloader. I also sometimes acted purposely immature out of fear of looking too boring/old. There is a playful way to do that but you need to switch it off fast in when you are expected to be an adult. Not always easy to switch.

I’ve been in 3 other age gap relationships. Biggest gap was 34 and 21. That was doomed to fail from the start but we had a ton of fun while it lasted. She ghosted me after 9 months and I was surprised it lasted that long. The ghosting still hurt and was complete bullshit. But I knew that risk came with the territory.

I’m not opposed to dating women my age. As long their relatively attractive and have a positive attitude I’ll give it a shot. But here are the challenges:

- They are far fewer single women my age.
- They are usually divorced and/or have kids. Not a dealbreaker but it definitely complicates things.
- I also noticed single women my age forget how to be fun. I briefly dated a woman a year older than me and I was shocked/pissed off that she thinks it still okay to shit test men on sexual stuff. She lead me on and changed her mind at the last second. A grown ass woman should know better than that.
- If I want to get serious with one than having kids could be a bigger challenge.
- Some older single women are just mentally unstable. I know that same standard could be applied to me. But as a man nobody is taking a knee to propose to me in marriage. Being single at my age has much different ramifications (and bad stereotypes) as a man vs. a woman.

This question may be controversial, so I want to preface it by making abundantly clear that I do NOT condone or excuse any form of child abuse. This is a thought experiment regarding hard limits to protect the well-being of everyone involved in sexual activity, but social norms would still apply, and they would likely continue to be more effective than any law at regulating this behavior. That said, let's begin.

In the U. S., the age at which a person can consent to sexual activity is typically between 16 and 18 years old, and various nations across the globe stray even further from this range. Assuming there is a "correct" age of consent, this discrepancy must mean at least one of three things:

1. some places set the age too low, leaving naive children vulnerable to abuse;
2. some places set it too high, prosecuting people who are effectively innocent; and/or
3. the same act between the same two people can magically become more or less ethical depending on geographical borders.

Option 3 seems a bit unlikely, meaning that either 1 or 2 is true (if not both), either of which has very real and harmful impacts.

In order to address this issue, many jurisdictions make an exception for minors and adults close in age, known as "Romeo and Juliet law" — such a law allows, for example, a 19yo and a 17yo to have intimate relations without consequences even if the age of consent is 18.

Still, 18 is a pretty arbitrary age to use for defining adulthood or any of the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that come with, as is 16, and 21, too (the legal drinking age).

Objectively speaking, it makes more sense to either lower the age to about 13, when most people hit puberty, or raise it to 25, when the brain is fully developed.

Another solution is to measure the ages relative to each other, as in the widely used formula for what's socially acceptable — half your age, plus 7 (14 & 14, 20 & 17, 30 & 22, etc. would be okay).

So, what do you think it should be, and why?