We live in a society that has developed opinions regarding gender over time. Almost everyone is grown up with certain myths about the way people can be distinguished based on their gender. But are there myths about the behaviour of people based on their gender in relationships? Yes, they exist, and we are listing the five most common myths associated with men, women, and their relationships. You will be surprised to know about some of them.
1. Physical attractiveness matters more to men than women:
It is specific for everyone to assume men run after attractiveness of women, and women don't do that. But do you know that even though men openly admit, women too prefer good looking men? Many types of research have revealed that more women claim that physical appearance matters less to them than males. However, when random blind dates are carried out, both genders tend to show similar patterns in going for a second date if their partners are more attractive.
Even though it is known that men usually showcase their love towards beauty and attractiveness more, it doesn't mean that females don't do it. Many researchers believe that this behaviour in men is seen as it helps men make women happy, and increase the chances of getting a mate. In short, men do value attractiveness, but not a lot more than women.
2. Women don't like to be involved in casual sex:
Do you think that women are not interested in having casual relationships? A lot of people fall in the trap of this myth. Even though men do accept offers quickly as they get them, it doesn't mean that women don't seek such offers. Primarily, two reasons made this myth a popular belief.
The first reason is that for most women, it is socially unacceptable to show interest in the idea of casual sex. It has been observed that men usually exaggerate the number of sexual encounters they had in the past, while women underestimate the same. It makes it falsely appear that men tend to have more sexual partners and often get involved in hookups. It is called producing a socially desirable answer to the question.
The second reason is that women need to be sure that they can trust the person. It is not like they are not interested at all, but women prefer to have casual sex encounters with men they can trust. Women prefer to have these encounters when they are dating casually or having hookups with their friends.
3. Every man commits physical abuse at some point in a relationship:
Whom would you picture when you think of a victim of domestic violence? Almost all of us will visualize women. Female victims indeed suffer nearly all of the severe injuries that occur, and abusive habits seen among men are more frequent. But do you know that there are a lot of male victims of domestic violence that go unnoticed as they are not severe cases? It is often thought that men can't be a victim as they are physically stronger than women, but the fear of being stigmatised in society often makes men stay silent and stop them from seeking help even when they need it.
Even though abuses caused by men are more harmful and deadly in comparison to those initiated by women, it is seen that partners from both genders are equally likely to start the act of violence. So, believing that men will always commit physical abuse is not right.
4. Men and women handle conflicts in their relationship in different ways:
The ways conflicts are handled in a relationship are often not gender-biased. Most researchers suggest that the responses to disputes happen in a pattern, and does not depend on gender. A lot of couples are seen to follow a "demand and withdraw." model in conflicts. Here one person plays the role of a person who demands discussion on an issue, and the other tends to withdraw from the debate. The withdrawer wants to retreat, but the demander pushes it again, leaving both partners frustrated.
In these situations, a demander can be men or women, depending on the issue the couple is facing in their relationship. Mostly the person who demands specific changes is typically the one who has less power or had less control over the situation. It is seen that the ones who press for change more often are women, as men have been traditionally more controlling in relationships. It is good to see that the dynamics are changing over time, and equality is being observed in many aspects of life.
5. Personalities of men and women are different towards relationships:
It is one of the most popular beliefs that men and women are different in a lot of ways. But if we don't look at the simple sexual differences, then most people have individual differences that don't depend on the sexuality of a person. When it comes to a relationship, most men and women have similar goals, and they want the same things from it. You can not oversimplify stuff by focusing on gender differences only. It is like saying that men are taller than women, and believing no women can match or exceed a men's height. Instead, having a better understanding of each other makes it easier for partners to live together in a relationship. Intelligence, personality, and kindness are the things people seek in a relationship.
Conclusion:
The most destructive thing you can do in a relationship is to keep on piling up gender stereotypes. Some of them might not be completely wrong, but understands them properly is essential for everyone who is looking to be in a relationship. We can't merely apply stereotypical thoughts that come across our minds when we are dealing with our partners in a relationship. By spreading our words through this article, we aim to bust these beliefs and promote gender equality so that men and women can have better relationships.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
The first two are not myths but generalisations. While this is obviously true that women would want a aesthetically attractive partner, they're not as critical about it as much as men. Being slightly below average looking man but with a charming personality, you'll have a much much better chance of getting a partner compared to a below average looking woman because the way we find cleavage or big booty irresistible, girls find exciting personality irresponsible. But it doesn't mean that men don't want a good personality and women don't want a good looking partner. But if you want to increase your chances in finding a good long term partner, being a man you must improve your personality and being a woman you should improve your looks.
There will always be girls that would like to sleep around instead of committing if the guys won't spill their beans. But if you take an average woman as example, she'd prefer having a long term partner granted he's satisfying her. But men would prefer having multiple sexual partners.
There was a study in which men and women were asked about how many sexual partners would you want per year if the sex is satisfactory. The average for women was only 1 where as for men it was about 4.
Again, these are generalisations. But they're definitely not myths. I agree with you on the rest three points.
[Typos]
Want an* aesthetically
Exciting personality irresistible*
"But if you want to increase your chances in finding a good long term partner, being a man you must improve your personality and being a woman you should improve your looks." what a load of crap here. Makes me cringe. You are basically saying that women's value depends on her looks. No, men should not improve their personality - they should grow the fuck up and stop thinking with their eyes and their dicks. Improve your personality by improving your values first, then talk.
@little_bird1 nowhere did I say that women's values solely depend upon her looks and not on her character and internal qualities. You are displaying a typical characteristic of women "assuming and jumping on conclusion". A woman that doesn't have these things in her is pretty high value person but there's no way for a man to test her quality before having some initial attraction for her and that is generally triggered by first attracting him physically. No person has any explicit certificate for their good personality but they definitely have their looks on display and that opens the doors for them to show their personality to make a mark.
Also, "growing the fuck up" basically means improving the personality. I would be surprised if you taught me if these things are different, I'm curious.
You said "long term", I simply don't agree with that. You are right that we should improve our looks to INITIAL attraction, that goes for men too. But if we're talking long term, it's all about personality and values, for both sexes.
Men and women are fundamentally different, brain differences begin showing very early on in childhood. It takes men two times more brain power to read emotions, and women's reflexes are half as fast. Physical differences, during puberty, women's muscle is developed into fat and men's fat is developed into muscle.
Apart from point 3 I agree with everything you've written. There are some serious misconceptions people have about each other. Only3 I found ridiculous. 'Every man commits physical abuse at some point in a relationship' that's ridiculous. I hope I'm not considered a delusional 18 year old, but that's absolutely ridiculous. If that's truly what some people think... I'm disappointed.