Men and Women: Two Opposing Worlds 🌕🌑

elisa_0

[Warning: Long take!]

I feel like I need to write this because there are so many people that misunderstand the opposite sex on so many fundamental issues. Many of them are biological aspects, and others are cultural.

Men and Women are essentially different
Men and Women are essentially different

So, hear me out before you disregard this as a sexist thread. This is intended to be 100% objective (but, of course, I may be completely wrong in some points), and I don’t want to offend either of the genders, so I'm going to keep this as non-offensive as possible. I also want to clarify that I tried my very best to adopt a male viewpoint and try to understand them because I believe society really punishes men for being...men! And society also doesn't favor women in many aspects either.

The point of this thread is to make people understand that men and women are essentially different, and these differences can make up a high percentage of our miscommunication and misunderstandings. Men and women are not equal fundamentally, but we can of course change social expectations and culture in order to favor both sexes. I support the idea that one shouldn't be more privileged or more empowered than the other. But the road to equality is definitely verging on impossibility, so that's kind of a reality check that some people need.

Okay, let's start.

BIOLOGICAL ISSUE #1: Sex & Love

We all know that men have more desires to have sex than women do, even if you disagree with this (there are obviously exceptions). When a man looks at an attractive woman, the first thing that pops into his mind is sex and how the experience of sex would be with this woman. This happens mostly when the guy is a teenager or young adult. The man does not think "Oh wow, I want to get to know her better, she seems like an awesome person." He may think about this WHILE getting to know her, but it's impossible to know how she's like just by looking at her of course.

Women, on the other hand, have a very different response to an attractive man. When she sees an attractive guy, most of the time, sex is NOT the first thing that she thinks of. Even if it is, she will most likely want to connect with him on an emotional level, and she won't think with her genitals. Women, generally, CAN control their urge to have sex with a man. In fact, we can ignore the urge to have sex quite easily (but not forever, obviously).

Women actually are attracted to a man when he exhibits positive behavioral traits and a good attitude. If he's sweet, if he's nurturing, if he's compassionate, if he's funny, if he's quirky, etc. THIS is the main reason why a woman starts to truly consider having a relationship with him.

But men, at first, want to date a girl because of how she looks, and because of sex. That's his main motivation in the beginning. But this experience starts to neutralize when he gets to know her; both the woman and the man start to discover many personality traits of the other. The woman starts to see that he's "good enough" to have sex with, and the man starts to see that she's "good enough" to fall in love with and connect with emotionally!

So it goes like this... At first, men think of sex, and THEN they start to want to connect with her emotionally. Women's experience is reversed--she wants to connect with him emotionally, and THEN she wants to have sex with him! This really makes it hard for both men and women to communicate and understand each other, especially in teenage years.

Also, this is the main reason why people say that women should not "give it up" so easily, because they want to ensure the man falls for her and is loyal to her before she ends up heartbroken. It's not a sexist thing... it's just what happens.

BIOLOGICAL ISSUE #2: Impulsivity & Risk-taking

An endless number of studies have proved that men's testosterone & other hormones make men have more impulsive behavior, and they also take more risks than women do. Women, generally, are more cautious to potential dangers. It's a biological thing--women have always been more physically vulnerable, so our female ancestors had to be more careful to avoid any type of danger.

Men are more likely to get in serious accidents and injure themselves heavily because of this. They're also more likely to commit serious crimes, violence, and get themselves into all types of dangerous situations. Criminal organizations are more likely to be led by men, because they're simply more inclined to take risks.

Women generally don’t get themselves into these types of situations. Most of the time they'd rather be safe instead of taking risks.

BIOLOGICAL ISSUE #3: Differences in Body Size & Strength

We all know that men are taller and stronger than women. Their body size is bigger than women's, and this influences how we perceive each other. A man perceives a woman differently than how a woman perceives the man. A man generally does not feel threatened when in the company of lots of women, because in his mind, he can overpower all of them. Of course, he may be wrong in many occasions, because women don't have to rely on their strength anymore; they can rely on weapons and such.

Women, though, generally do feel threatened when they're in the company of many men. If a woman is alone with a large group of men, she will feel like they're plotting something against her. And since she is powerless, she will feel unsafe in the environment. She knows she wouldn't be able to overpower them, even with weapons (unless it's a very potent one that kills all of them or something).

The way we perceive each other plays a big role on how we interact with each other, and this is why women automatically assume a man will hurt them if she's outside at night, in a deserted road, and a man happens to be there. She will feel threatened by him immediately because of the environment and the fact that no one is there to save her if something happens to her.

Today, a man who doesn't intend to hurt the woman will feel threatened too or will feel bad, because he may think "This woman thinks i'll hurt her" or "This woman will accuse me of something I didn't do." It stems from how we perceive each other, and the difference in our body size.

And now let's get to the more societal/cultural aspects...

SOCIAL ISSUE #1: Male suicide, depression & expression of emotions

Most suicides, as most of you know, are male suicides.

Men are currently in a society that is making them feel like they're inherently evil or should change their fundamental nature in order to fit into society. It's actually a lot tougher for men to adapt to society than for women. Women have a smoother experience while growing up and adapting to a society that is trying to make the world safer for women.

I'm not saying that it's easy for women. I'm just saying that the road society is choosing to take is one that mostly favors women. We women still face discrimination, of course, but society as a whole is taking a path to improve women's lives, instead of improving both men's and women's lives.

It's kind of like an objective. "Violence against women" is very relevant in modern culture. But where is "violent against men" or "men should be able to feel safe in society"? I have never seen such a statement or such a protest. But I do see things like "women should be able to feel safe in society".

Did you know that 80% of murder victims ARE men? So... this makes no sense, right? Why is it SO important to save a woman's life compared to a man's? Women's lives are not more important, at least they should not be. Both are equally important, but the world starts to lose it when a woman is killed, as opposed to when a man is killed!

Male suicide and depression is the result of a society that does not like them or favor them. They don't feel loved by social culture, and they don’t feel like they're useful anymore. That is not fair, and men deserve to feel happy and safe in a society that is focusing on women's safety and tranquility! We HAVE to listen to men as well.

SOCIAL ISSUE #2: Rape Culture & Rape Accusations

I understand that most rape victims are women and young children. And rape strips away a woman's dignity, her essence, and it simply a disastrous, traumatic experience for a woman and any person for that matter. Any person, regardless of their age or sex or race, can easily experience a lot of trauma and psychological issues as a result of being raped.

But there are two issues here that co-exist. Rape culture and rape accusations. Rape culture is normalizing sexual violence against women, and rape accusations is normalizing men being viewed as rapists. These two issues are extremely harmful for humanity.

Men are not rapists by nature. And women are not going to be raped just because they're women in society. This way of thinking opens the door for hateful attitudes toward men, and this also makes women literally want to be more violent and resentful toward men in general. If women feel like men are inherently rapists, they're going to be cruel toward men. If men feel like it's okay to rape a woman, then they won't do much to make changes.

SOCIAL ISSUE #3: Women's safety & Men walking on eggshells

Women have more expectations of men than vice versa. In today's society, men are expected to respect women and to view a woman as an equal because this helps him understand that she's a human being, just like him. And that's totally fine, but the issue starts to get worse when women expect men to treat them like they were royalty.

Men don't have to be nice to you just because you're a woman.

And women don't have to feel safe with you just because you think you're a good guy.

If a man insults a woman these days, he's considered sexist and misogynist, but if a woman insults a man, she's a strong assertive person. That's completely illogical, don't you think? And just because you're a good guy, this does not mean that the woman has to say yes to you and put her walls down around you.

These two are very harmful to men and women.

We need to understand each other before we judge each other. And we can't do this if we only take into consideration our own viewpoint. We have to try very hard to put ourselves in the opposite sex's shoes in order to truly understand what they go through. Men and women have their own issues, and society as a whole needs to adopt a more neutral viewpoint instead of favoring one over the other.

These are my points. I hope you liked this Take. Let me know what you think, lol.

Men and Women: Two Opposing Worlds 🌕🌑
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Insightful. But, the issue with the male suicide and murder. Is that males are the ones committing the majority of the murders and the difference is, and why people focus more on women in the regard, is that a woman are less likley to be able to fend off a man, than a man and another man.

    Also, male suicide is as high because men use deadlier tactics than women. They are more likley to die, while women have a better chance to get medical attention. But, I can see this being so because there isn't alotnof male support groups.

    But, I can see your side on the rest. You forgot to mention however, the male views on male rape, especially when a woman is the rapist. Men have a bad habit of not taking it seriously. They blame society, but it's mostly men not taking it seriously. Look at what male victims say, they mention how their male friends and even male officers brush them off, or even ask them why they didn't fight back. Also, look on any social media outlet and see how males view the concept of women raping young boys and so on. The say how they wish they had teachers like that or how lucky they are. There's even a SNL skit of this and as "funny" as it may seem, it's a big issue with men not taking male rape seriously, UNLESS it's with men rapping another man. Even then, they might not get the help they need. there's a experiment online, where a young girl and a young boy was taking pictures with a actor of the opposite sex, for a fake marriage thing. People of both sexes fought to help the young girl, but women where the ones to help the young boy, a man ACTUALLY gave the boy a fist by bump.

    BUT, I agree NOT ALL men are like this and not all men are rapsits and predators. I think there needs to be more support groups for men, especially where they can talk to other men who faced the same thing. Talking has proven to help a lot of people, men and women, with their past and their mental health. Just having someone to talk to, can do wonders.
    Is this still revelant?
    • elisa_0

      Absolutely true

    • Thanknyounforbthe MHO!

    • Wrote that to fast lol
      *Thank you for the most helpful opinion

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    I think what you wrote here is excellent. I do have some disagreements though but I think it’s because it’s told in a female perspective.

    Bio issue 1: Sex seems like a bit of a jump to instantly think about when looking at an attractive woman to me but I personally see sex as a more sacred activity that you would do for women who you would be a lot more comfortable spending the rest of your life with but I could be in the minority in that. I do think about making out with them, hugging or cuddling them so it’s not too far off.

    Bio issue 3: I don’t think a woman would have any reason to fear men unless she had a bad experience with a man when she was really young. I’m saying this as someone who was physically and emotionally abused by my mother as a child and I am not sure if I will ever not have a fight or flight response when a woman gets even slightly upset around me. It’s gotten better over the years but I don’t think it will ever be completely gone. I just don’t think that’s a gendered issue is all.

    SI 2: I think the entire idea of rape culture goes against the idea you are trying to present. It pins the blame on society for any rape case than the individual rapist themselves.

    I don't know if you have heard of RAINN but they were the ones who had the 1 in 6 rape stat (which is think is misleading because they got it from the BJS which includes threats of rape which obviously isn’t the same thing). In 2014, they wrote a letter to the White House explaining the dangers of peddling the rape culture idea.

    Other than that I think this is a great take!
    Is this still revelant?
    • elisa_0

      Thank you for your opinion!
      " I don’t think a woman would have any reason to fear men unless she had a bad experience with a man when she was really young."
      It's more about the fact that we know we're smaller and more vulnerable than men physically, so even if the woman has had great experiences with them, she's still going to feel quite uncomfortable if she's alone with a lot of men. I guess culture plays a big role here too.

    • Anonymous

      I suppose so. After all, you did say that men are constantly made out to be the bad guys so that might lead to women being uncomfortable in a room full of men.

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What Girls & Guys Said

69
  • opnbuk59
    Not just men women each of us we all have our own views on everything used to be just men women and life is generalised from those two traits but with men becoming women women growing beards looking more many than a real man there's two more personality traits thrown in which only complicates shit further, now you have to wonder damn this a dude eating to be female or is she really a forreal female, and these imposters female might act feminine but those men who hit on them no not hi cutie hit on them i mean that abuse women, get a wake up call when she he there imposter punches the hell out of them, but seriously you can't form an accurate picture or model by asking 20 random guys or gals about a certain trait and say ah ha this is how men are and this is how females are, but that's what has happened they did just that write s best seller on how each sex think act and is wrong all that did was brain wash a generation who did same to meet into believing this a way to structure society into conficonfo to believing this is the definitive views of each sex to people go into their relationship expecting their matter to be one way only to find out yikes they lied this guy is s monster it she's not the nice girl next door she's from all the neighborhood doors can't know a person true self but reading a book is all in saying we all have our own but personality and zodiac signs mean crap to guys ones behavior only difference between men and women is woman can have carry a child that's been created between the two but we're so quick to judge based on action of a few and generalised if you see this behavior from this dude he's a blank blank but what do i know after seeing Charlie Brown the first time i never let a female post the football before i kicked it, thought they all pulled it away just before i did
  • OptimisticDaria
    I agree with most things on this. Recently, I have recieved a lot of greif for saying I support women's equality, but that I don't hate on men the whole time.
    • mattl338

      Yeah, sadly that's what feminism has become, it's all about women are great and do nothing wrong and men are the awful ones who need to die. Personally I don't like it when men are attacked for no reason like that because women have done awful things too, we all have, there's not one gender better than the other. I'm glad you don't hate men.

    • @mattl338 Here's to supporting equality between women and men, nothing but

    • mattl338

      Here here :)

  • AkshiJanjua
    Very good
    but i don't agree to thinking of sex when i first see a new girl lol it's too intimate of a thing to think without knowing the person. Definitely i will be attracted to the sexuality though but i won't be thinking of undressing her directly when we first meet lol
  • ThemmyLookinForLove
    Love is truly a battlefield, finding out being honest is not sexy, thinking of you texts mean you weak, compliments mean you thirsty, I finally understand bachelors who would have mindblowing sex with females and not use that to build something... Being cold and being loose bull brings women running
  • FictionalCharacter
    That’s cute
  • Evil_Chuck
    Insightful, thoughtful, and fair. I really identify with this take. Society would function better if more people like you were in charge.
  • Unknown_User7
    I agree with most of this. Great Take.
  • bamesjond0069
    Pretty good. I like.
  • Good take.
  • sofi55
    The results are bad -look here- fish. do. am
  • Anonymous
    I don’t think it’s a matter of women being able to control their sexual urges, I think women simply don’t find men to be visually appealing because women aren’t biologically programmed to be as visual as men are. Second of all, women have lost levels of testosterone so their sex drive is naturally lower than mens.
    • Anonymous

      *low levels

    • elisa_0

      Yeah true. I believe women and men are equally visual but men associate the visual appeal to sexual interest. Women don’t. When I see a really hot guy, he’s very appealing to my eyes, not my clit 😂

  • Anonymous
    I’m a guy by the way. New here don’t know how I pressed girl lol. One thing I will say is that I agree with you. However, as a man when I see an attractive girl I don’t really think of sex. I just admire her attractiveness and whether she likes what she sees as well. I also wonder what kind of girl she is, whether she’s nice. I feel like a lot of men would think Like me
  • Anonymous
    I don't believe anything you just said
  • Anonymous
    This is a great MyTake with a lot of really good information that is very uncommon coming from a woman. Thank you.

    I think it's sad there are not more women commenting on it, and the one who did comment just spend most of her time trying to make everything men's fault, which sadly is typical and just underscores what you said about society usually painting men in a very negative light. She is part of the very problem you talked about. These issues are very complicated and society always making men out to be the problem is very divisive and needs to stop. Women like you are helping with that. Women like are just making it worse and deepening the divide between the sexes.
    • Anonymous

      Women like *her are just making it worse...

    • elisa_0

      I understand but she never spoke out against any gender. What she said isn’t far from the truth

    • Anonymous

      She did the typical gender finger pointing, which is not just pointless, it's divisive and ignores the underlying societal issues that are at the core of the problems.

  • Anonymous
    @elisa_0 You, young lady, are far more honest and insightful than the vast majority of women, regardless of age. What you have written here rings true to most men, but most women seem oblivious to these facts, and that is a source of constant frustration for men these days. Thank you for taking the time to put together such a well thought out and well written piece and sharing it with us. I just wish more women would read it and respond.
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