The Great Debate: Feminine VS Masculine women (From An Ex-Alpha Male)

[Anonymous]

We all know of the "How to be a High-value woman" or "Boundaries to set as a high-value woman." This myTake has been on my mind for quite some time, and I would like to share my recent personal experience on what society deems to be the "Masculine woman. " since I refuse to make a youtube video/channel, I thought id share my Take on here.

All through college, I was intrigued by women, of course. And I pretended to be an alpha male throughout college and my early/late twenties. I dated around for four years, and I met plenty of women: some women I liked, and some I didn't. After college, I started to take dating seriously. In my early twenties, I met a woman. Let's call her Irene. Irene was beautiful. She was graceful, intelligent, kind, and sweet. That was it; that was her personality.

Now, in this day and time, she would've been considered feminine, but those "Labels" didn't exist back then. She was plain. She wasn't funny, and she had no personality. When we broke up, I always ran back for her to accept me, and so did she. She was a yes-man. We broke up on irreconcilable differences, but I treated her very well. In my later twenties, that was all the women I met. Highly feminine women. Until I met her, let's call Jessica. Jessica was beautiful. Highly intelligent, funny, charismatic, and intimidating. She had an excellent job, and she was hardworking. However, she was difficult. She had a huge barrier that I couldn't break down. It was never a dull moment with her. However, she was deemed as "masculine."

After my knowledge about masculine women, I decided to ghost her because I am a man, right? I need a feminine woman. Boy, was I wrong? After ghosting her, I waited for her to reach out. Every day I waited for her to call me. She never did. One day I decided, "Let me just call her and tell her I miss her" Besides, she'll be running right back to me, right? Hah, was I fooled! She never responded. Now, Jessica is married. To a great man. Is he an "alpha male" not. Is he the "man all feminine women need"? Hell no! So what is he, then? Do you see the same nice guys that y'all call beta males? Yes, that's him. The "simp." But I will tell you one thing. He never cheats; he treats her like a queen. She is still that hardworking, level-headed woman.

Ladies, Please be mindful of the particles you follow on social media and the men you date. Alpha males are OBSESSED with feminine women because they are easy to P E R S U A D E!

[MzAsh]

Thank you for this. Completely agree. I married a good guy. Been together for 15 years. He’s not an “alpha male.” I don’t care because he treats me well, and I treat him well.
If you notice the details in all the men fixated on being with “feminine” women, they’re all qualities that signal a woman who’s easy to control and manipulate. Women who have low self worth, are ignorant of their options, so they’ll have no idea they can do better than him. I’ve managed to get a few of these men to confess this is true outright. These men use the image of being protectors and providers to attract, and then trap them into a relationship where he’s the only one reaping the benefits. Relationships with men like this are miserable and short lived.

[myTake Owner]

You are an intelligent woman! I am the oldest brother of three sisters. I preached to them daily about disregarding the "How to be feminine" movement. It makes no sense. Now that I am not an alpha male anymore, I get made fun of regularly about it by strangers. A good man can lead but can still move out of the way to let his women lead sometimes. Natural, mature men don't want an ignorant woman... and if a woman can sit back and allow herself to be ignorant and easy to manipulate, then she has bigger fish to fry! Again this my take will not make it because I will have boys in the comments calling me a "cuckboy'' "weak," and "feminine," and the divine feminine women getting angry at me. I once was an alpha male. I wanted feminine women to control and manipulate them. "Jessica" will always have a special place in my heart. I have massive respect for her to this day.

[raven6933]

I still think the worst type of woman is one with low self esteem. I have never dated one but everyone of them I knew about became stalkers after the breakup. From my summation they became too emotionally attached and after the breakup felt worse off than before. Those "if I can't have them no one else will" types. The best you can do is be distant friends with those types. Otherwise you'll be sorry later.

[HateyouxD]

@raven6933 how do I know a man is a good man.
I thought I had one... he constantly said he was. (Even though I look at actions mostly)
He does help with Bill's and fixing my car but everything he does seems to only be for him to look good. He will do things for public recognition if that makes sense. He does nothing private, doesn't take me out on dates. Yea we spend a lot of time together but it's mostly in the house watching movies in our bed. Lol we are just too opposite. I stay inside in the summer him outside. I'm outside in the winter.. him mostly inside. he's not creative. I complain about him so much 3 years.. he's not ticking my boxes. I need a gift giver my love language... he doesn't see the importance of that mostly.
he's been struggling and I guess I've not been too patient with him... at all. But it's been 4 years and very inconsistent. I feel I'm bob the builder. he's not a man who leads... I'm leading. I tell him what to do how to do it because I see that's where he lacks. He wouldn't know where to shit if I didn't point him in the right direction. he's trying not I'm 31. I feel he should of known all of this already. he's also manipulative. I also struggle greatly from mental illness. I want love I do believe I deserve love and the best as I'm a great lover and a great friend and etc. I just feel we arnt a great match. And I then I decided to keep the kid when I was going to leave in August. All because I didn't think I could get pregnant again and he's a decent person

[HateyouxD]

I also stayed because I knew for some reason because of my location no man will probably ever take me serious as all of these other women around

[raven6933]

@HateyouxD always remember actions speak louder than words. You seem to have noticed that yet you still stuck around? Being alone isn't the worst thing possible unless you're dependent upon someone else. It is entirely possible to get a sleeper. By that I mean even if you're living together and everything seems okay, they can change after marriage. It's highly unusual but it does happen. If you have to ask someone to do something and they seem to want rewarded, keep moving along. Not sure where you live or why it would be so hard to find someone else. But if it's just financial then get a roommate. Companionship get a dog. You should only be in a relationship if you want to be not because you have to be. Never be beholden to anyone. The best detectors are children and dogs. Either go visit friends with either one or spend tons of time in children's atmosphere and watch how he interacts with them. Not necessarily saying that they may be right for you but you'd at least know that they are a good person. Also no getting involved with friends that you have known for a while. That becomes disastrous for apparent reasons. Get to know them not just physically but emotionally as well. Some difference can be overcome but never at the expense of changing yourself. Hopefully you find someone who is deserving of you.

[RavVid]

I'm reminded of a scene from a movie or TV series I can't remember the name of.

Anyway the high powered mom sits her family down and delivers a Power Point presentation, as she would in her high power job.

The topic of the presentation is why they are all little shits. I don't think she gives them any job performance ratings - they were all about zero, so no point really.

This is about what you get in this category. If you want something from her it becomes a negotiation. It is not like that's fair after all you have done, you've got it. She has to extract something from you as a quid pro quo. On principal.

You think next time I'll go traditional, that'll be better. I'm tired of negotiations. So you do.

Hooray! No more PP's no more negotiations but then you start realizing that you are being manipulated. She's getting her way just as surely as the high powered girl did. Except with her you could just say no it is stupid buying a bigger house we don't need - you want it you buy it.

The traditional girl is just more subtle in her negotiations. It is more grounded on the happy wife, happy life principal except she won't say that. You buy the bigger house thinking she'll be happy forever.

As you are buying the third bigger house you start realizing that she is never going to be content with her status amongst the other girls and you will die an early death from the stress.

It is not a perfect world. Even in the Iliad one of the hero's had to negotiate with his wife. That's in 8th century BC. I doubt it has ever been different.

NO. traditional (feminine) women aren't that easy to persuade though they make make strategic retreats and let the man think he is making the decisions.

[bamesjond0069]

Your scenarios have the same flaw. It's not the man's job to make the woman happy. It's an individuals job to make themselves happy.

If my girlfriend is unhappy about something, that's her problem. Why would I attempt to solve something only she can solve? So you buy this bigger house for her... and she's still unhappy... you're rewarding poor behavior. When in fact you should not buy the bigger house until she says "we have a small house but it's enough because I'm so happy with our life here" only then is it acceptable to try and get the house... and guess what... you then realize you don't need to get the house... but now you just want to get the house yourself.

The whole concept you present is flawed way of dealing with people and thus is will always net poor results. You don't give the worst employee a raise just like you don't give a shitty wife some fancy jewlery.

[Sleeper07]

I don't think she was actually fully masculine based on your description.

The hardworking and successful part down the line will have to go down the toilet when she enters a long term monogamous relationship with you, because it's hard on women for them to go to work, come back, cook, clean, bathe the kids, etc.

I think you have the wrong ideas of what a masculine woman actually is. A masculine woman will engage in masculine behavior, which means she'll exhibit traits associated with masculinity. That is a high degree of confidence, assertiveness, aggression, stoicism, and very competitive.

An alpha male is just a guy who can get a lot of girls. So, when you're actually trying to go back to Irene you're in no way acting Alpha at all. It's important that you remain a good degree alpha, with some degree of beta male behavior, as this is what women actually want.

Do not become a strict beta male loser and begin putting her on a pedestal as I promise you it will in fact backfire on you.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Alpha males - aka douchebags, losers, trash, etc.

They THINK they have high value because CHEAP "feminine" - though dressing like a prostitute is hardly feminine - women closer to sluts, whores, tramps, & such like them.

.

Most respectable or decent women - aka marriage material women - men actually WANT wouldn't give an "Alpha male" the time of day never mind go on a date with them.

You learned the hard way with Jessica... she couldn't give a shiny rat's ass about you.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

That you were a douchebag is examplified with Irene.

"In my early twenties, I met a woman. Let's call her Irene. Irene was beautiful. She was graceful, intelligent, kind, and sweet. That was it; that was her personality.

Now, in this day and time, she would've been considered feminine, but those "Labels" didn't exist back then. She was plain. She wasn't funny, and she had no personality. When we broke up, I always ran back for her to accept me, and so did she. She was a yes-man."

Irene was a doormat girlfriend that you most likely constantly cheated on, fucked around on, and because she believed she couldn't get better than asshole you she took you back. If she had any sense of self worth as an intelligent attractive woman she'd have told you to get lost the first time.

[Lliam]

I don't see the traits you ascribed to Jessica as masculine. Unless intelligence in a woman is considered masculine.

To me, a feminine woman is heterosexual and loves being female. She wears feminine clothing, cares for her hair, skin and nails, has feminine mannerisms, and keeps herself fit.

I actually prefer women who are smart, plucky, hard working, determined to succeed, curious, adventurous, open minded, fun and funny, loyal and trustworthy. They have self respect and healthy values. They are not inferior to men. They are nobody's door mat or servant. But they also have feminine qualities like compassion and empathy, as well as being tender, caring, and nurturing.

If she is capable of being independent but chooses to be with me, I know she likes me for who I am and not for status or financial support.

That's the kind of woman who would make an excellent partner to build a life together.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Bingo!!!

I keep saying this over and over here!

It's not about being an alpha, and all that it implies, it's about being a decent human being! That's what will get you far in the dating world, because that's what girls like and what is rare these days.

The last part is also on point. The low body count, the low education, low career drive, low strength, etc. All of that is to make women as weak and vulnerable as possible. Because that's how those morons like them.

Times have changed. They are not falling for it anymore. And men are waking up too. Awesome take brother.

[devilish-cutie]

I am "masculine" woman but i realized that im actually not manly but rather that qualities I have are deemed "manly" but they are actually not cause the way men are percieved is not true. Men are not braver, stronger etc than women. We are different but its not as society presents it.

Good for you to even being strong enough man to date "masculine" woman, many guys are very weak for that.

[Vesuvius87]

I wouldn't reply back either if I get ghosted. I'd rather get told ''I'm not interested (say it in my face, not just disappear like a coward)'' than just getting ghosted and then expecting me to call him. I see Jessica as a smart woman. Why would she want to get back with you for drama, to be suddenly ghosted again like? You make things complicated by doing that.

[Vegasrunner]

What are the qualities that you believe made you an "Alpha Male" Judging by this story u seem to be more beta at best, at worst u seem to be a female impetsonating a male. One of the most important Alpha qualities is the ability to stay congruent to your words. If u "ghosted" her why did u reach out to call her? Also an Alpha male simply replaces the next woman, how did u continue to keep tabs on her if she wasn't responding to u when u reached out?

[bamesjond0069]

"I waited for her to reach out. Every day I waited for her to call me."

Textbook beta simp. Not sure you can play the "once I was an Alpha" card since clearly you never were one. Thus also why you don't like feminine women. Thus why you also like relationship drama.

Another whiny incel musing on the internet... and the world's most tiny fiddle plays.

[Deliciouscookies]

Anyone saying they are an Ex-Alpha Male, never where an alpha male to begin with.

Besides, it is not a scientifically recognized term for describing human behavior anyway.

[PinkRose24]

I'm feminine and I'm not easy to "persuade". I have morals, standards, values, and boundaries. I'm still sweet, kind, and respectful to people. I still dress cute and look cute. I'm not going to stop being feminine.

[MrBadd]

This sounds like it was written by a woman.

[Babygirl_S]

Okay so alpha men like stalkers and you seem to be insinuating that funny women are masculine. I'm going to keep messaging my favourite celebrity on Instagram lol.

[Surely]

Nothing wrong with having an equal for a partner. I hate being made to make most or all of the decisions. In fact, I find, Tom Boy girls, can be quite attractive.

[strateguy632]

persuade? we can't generalized like that