What the fuck is going on? What's wrong with me? Why am I a monster?

[Anonymous]

I sometimes have these gross and disgusting thoughts sexual thoughts about my brothers! Its gross and try to distract my mind from them but they are like not going away. I dont wanna look at my brothers like this!! They are older than me and I dont know I just feel protected whenever they are around. I dont know what's wrong with me, I'm 23... I just wanna end it. These thoughts race through my head I wish I wasn't here. What do I do? I'm such a monster, I'm disgusting and I knew I'd never have a normal life. I know incest is wrong and wouldn't even think about this gross act. I'm so sick of myself. What's going on? Why am I such a worthless person? These thoughts aren't normal. I'll never find a good guy now... I'll just continue finding the creeps. Help?

Updates

+1 y

Wow you guys are fucking not helping. I said I get sick from the thoughts even! Wtf I hate the "as long as you dont act on it" WHY THE FUCK WOULD I? YOU CRAZY?

[YHL6965]

First, before I address the topic, I would highly suggest to stop being so judgmental with yourself and to not be so harsh with yourself. That does not make you a monster, you are still a person with thoughts and feelings.

Now, something makes me wonder, if these thoughts are regular, then there must be a pattern and a reason behind it. You mentioned feeling protected when they are around and I'm guessing it's something you value. Do you feel like, at some point in you life, you wished you could have felt protected like that?

I have also some more personal questions : how do you view your parents, particularly your father? How have they treated you, especially your father? These questions could hold many answers and they could explain why you feel this way.

I don't think you are a monster nor a bad person for thinking this way as long as you don't act on that. You seemed to be very ashamed of yourself up to a point that you are mad at yourself or maybe even hate yourself.

[bob_anon714]

Sounds like you are totally programmed to think what you should or should not do. first of all, it is normal to think those thoughts. Everybody does at some point, wether they like to admit it or not (and most won't for fear of being outcast). Sounds like you care for your brothers deeply and they care about you as well since you feel protected when they're around and you should since you're their baby sis. Have you thought about just talking to them about it? They could probably help you through this and take a load of worry and relief from your self-loathinh feelings. They may even tell you that at some point they've thought of you in that way. You'll all say eww and gave a good laugh, get over it and go on with your lives. Or you may find that there's a more deeper connection because you guys realize that you will always love one another and always look out for each other's best interest and don't want to hurt each other and just have fun for the time being until mr. Right comed along

[Mystic_Nova]

It might not be what you think. You are in your sexual prime and if you are a virgin, your hormones are even more out of the place. It might be, you feel comfortable around your bothers, and your hormones are putting the closest thing to a man you have, in your head.

It's normal for this to be the reason why you might have dreams of having sex with them in tour dreams. I had those dreams when I hit puberty, with my dad. And I NEVER saw my dad that way or would want to. Its just your hormones are crazy right now, and because they are guys that you are confortablebwith, and you may not have another outlet to base your thoughts on, it works with what its given.

[btbc92]

It's demons. Rebuke them in the name of jesus to remove that perverse, lust and witchcraft spirit, which is at the center of all of that. Any doors you or your family opened, remove them. That includes porn. Keep rebuking them. It's not YOU. It's demons.

[btbc92]

Asker, don't need to that and pay attention to what others are saying on here with that stuff. You have the right idea, you just need to renounce it. If you were around your cousins you may have picked up a spirit from them and the jumped on you. You have to be careful around certain people even with family. They probably been watching incest porn. And then suddenly it transferred over IF you don't watch porn. But if you do, that's why. Get rid of it.

[_SOARER]

The thoughts are perverse yes. But the problem in modern society is everyone is told to act on all thoughts.

Thoughts often aren't our own. We are not our thoughts.

You are not repulsed by yourself, yourself doesn't want that. You want to have a normal relationship with them. That's what you want.

My advice is to not watch pornography, to tell yourself "these thoughts are not my own" and to forgive yourself for having those thoughts.

Also try and meet a guy you can trust. I think it's about finding a man you find trustworthy to give yourself too.

Feel better

[Kaneki05]

Your not worthless. and you won't just find creeps. Honestly yeah it's a weird fantasy but longs if you never act upon it many guys will look past it. So many people have weird sexual thoughts you would be surprised. It's not really a big deal compared to it happening

[Kaneki05]

Well okay if it don't help then, Well okay your dirty and weird was that preferred answer?

[MissDawn7961]

first - calm down ! second - when you have these kind of thoughts , thoughts that you do not like or that scare you , then just read your bible and talk to God and this should help you ! take care and thanks

[billytrash]

I used to sniff my sisters dirty panties and it made me feel guilty and monsterish for a long time. But pussy smells good if your a guy. And if your a girl dick is the bomb. My advise is to leave your dirty panties lying around the house and o rub your pussy all over his pillow. Do you wanna sell your dirty panties to me please?

[chriscdi]

you aren't worthless, just have a very lusty mind that is pretty disgusting but look for a guy and im sure these thoughts would go away

[Asker]

I feel like a bad person.

Nobody would like me :(

[chriscdi]

well im sure someone would, just gotta give it time

[Anonymous]

Be calm, it's wrong to sometimes getting thoughts as such but you need to control them and instead manipulate your thoughts into something else
You will definitely find a guy, it doesn't depend on your appearance.. someone will like you for you

[Anonymous]

If you can’t get a boyfriend at least physically distance yourself from your family. Move of the house.

[OfDeath]

What are sexual about these thoughts? What exactly are you thinking about doing with them?

[Anonymous]

If you haven't done it with your brother I'm sure most guys wouldn't mind you lusting after them.

[Cryptic-Game]

Some people lust after their family and it is due to demonic spirits.

[asshole_]

You need a dude, in your life

[Asker]

Nobody likes me

[asshole_]

How do you know

[Asker]

Because I'm fat, and nobody likes me they all like my sister

[asshole_]

I doubt that

[Fuentes]

Get a counselor lol that ain't normal