What the fuck is going on? What's wrong with me? Why am I a monster?

Anonymous
I sometimes have these gross and disgusting thoughts sexual thoughts about my brothers! Its gross and try to distract my mind from them but they are like not going away. I dont wanna look at my brothers like this!! They are older than me and I dont know I just feel protected whenever they are around. I dont know what's wrong with me, I'm 23... I just wanna end it. These thoughts race through my head I wish I wasn't here. What do I do? I'm such a monster, I'm disgusting and I knew I'd never have a normal life. I know incest is wrong and wouldn't even think about this gross act. I'm so sick of myself. What's going on? Why am I such a worthless person? These thoughts aren't normal. I'll never find a good guy now... I'll just continue finding the creeps. Help?
Updates:
4 d
Wow you guys are fucking not helping. I said I get sick from the thoughts even! Wtf I hate the "as long as you dont act on it" WHY THE FUCK WOULD I? YOU CRAZY?
What the fuck is going on? What's wrong with me? Why am I a monster?
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